Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
312 Epic Tweets By Women That Made The Whole Internet Laugh Out Loud
Just like in 2015 and 2016, women have been posting a fair share of hilarious tweets since 2017. Bored Panda has collected some of the funniest ones, and they will crack you up no matter what gender you are or how bad a day you're having.
From optimizing their shopping trips to figuring out their parents, the minds behind these hilarious tweets certainly know how to blend humor with insightful comments. Scroll down to check out why you still need a Twitter account and upvote your favorite jokes!
This post may include affiliate links.
RELATED:
#5
#11
#12
Johanna-Nicollette Kidd 8 years ago
Im sure they have something wrong with those light, I feel human&then look in the mirrors when Im out,&I know Im a Martian! :((
#16
Daniel Mallory 8 years ago
I wonder if that happens to other people or if it it happens to her often
#20
Ladies and Gentlemen 8 years ago
My Crush texts : Hi; Me: On Amazon start searching "wedding suits".
#21
Jilltdcatlady 8 years ago
My hubs was in the National Guard and his group would practice recon in the S.C. swamps with 100% accuracy. Ask him to get old blankets and drop them off at Goodwill and he doesn't know where the spare closet is!
#22
#23
#26
#28
#29
#36
Jilltdcatlady 8 years ago
Google Earth... Hey, Look, the neighbors got a new puppy... Experienced Introvert.
#40
Just Amiable 8 years ago
😂😨😂 Right above the dogs nose... His black marks are shaped like .. Nevermind, y'all will see it 😂
#49
#50
Neeraj Jha 8 years ago
When she finds out abt it, her husband would actually be playing the game of Life and Death.
#52
#55
#58
#59
Chenoa Schott 8 years ago
They are so stingy with the samples that you get when you order online from Sephora. That is if you even recieve the samples lol
#60
Jill Rhoads 8 years ago
Not to mention that piece of a*s can be positive while half-a*s is negative. Saw that on 9-gag today: https://9gag.com/gag/aPjBNmB
#64
#67
#68
#71
Emily Hisel 8 years ago
the idea of locker rooms sickens me. how can you say that? the nurse once took us in there to check us for scoliosis, and someone compared herself to a "fat cow"... :-(
#75
#76
Blue Cicada 8 years ago
Or a man who roots for you the same way he roots for a professional team of athletes he's never going to meet in person.
#86
Ashley Say Wha?!? 8 years ago
I wouldn't mind having a schedule like this, just take out the chain smoking.
#88
#89
Master Markus 8 years ago
I was going to mention Mel Gibson, but he got a new movie out recently, so what the f**k? I'm shocked that Tom Cruise is still working even though we have ALWAYS known he was part of a crazy sci-fi cult. However, Woody Allen doesn't make movies anymore, so...
#90
Rafaella Bueno 8 years ago
This is actually something we should probably talk more about. Those guys probably spent their entire lives so far from childhood seeing bad examples of how to treat women and that's how they learned to behave. They don't think they're being disrespectful, it's what's normal and natural to them. Just saying "be more respectful" then won't help... gotta be much more specific about what can and can't be done and why. Sure it seems utterly obvious for us, but I at least like to think that a good amount of those men aren't being d***s on purpose.... they just honestly can't understand why the things they're doing are so wrong. Don't women also often have a hard time understanding that some things we think are "just how things are" are actually forced on us from birth by society? I needed a bunch of things explained to me.... let's give the guys some patience too.
#94
Master Markus 8 years ago
My phone keeps trying to make "f**k" into "duck". I don't think I've ever texted about ducks.
#99
Molly Tallmadge 8 years ago
Women:equal pay! The world: theres actually a bored panda article on pointlessly gendered products.
#100
#103
#104
#105
Jamey Rand 8 years ago
God this makes me more sad then I truly want to admit...mainly because it's so true
#106
Emily Hisel 8 years ago
my father once said that if you get six shots of espresso with your coffee, you can see into the future...
#108
#109
#111
#112
Debbie Andersson 8 years ago
No but really, people sitting on the machines at gym on their phones are one of the most infuriating things when you´re for once trying to get in shape, like b***h you´ve been sitting there for an hour doing nothing GET OFF.
#114
Kimberly Banow 8 years ago
If it's only $2, wouldn't you want to order 2 or more to make sure it's filling? :)
#115
#117
#118
Jilltdcatlady 8 years ago
Add it up again. I don't believe you. (Looking at 6 full shopping bags).
#119
Emily Hisel 8 years ago
it's on my Pandora, (which, by the way, started with modern electronic pop but now has none!) and its now with me forever...
#120
Uriel Grey 8 years ago
I figure mine was hit by a moose, train or has a really bad sense of direction... Lol
#121
Emily Hisel 8 years ago
i dont want anyone but my dog in my life. we look out for each other in a way that no other dog human relationship ever did, does or could.
#123
#125
#127
#128
#129
#132
Jamey Rand 8 years ago
Ok, I know this is a joke, but damn it people. Your time is not the only important thing.... Ugh, ok I just had to get that out....LOL I get the joke LMFAO
#133
#134
#135
Master Markus 8 years ago
I think the word you're looking for is "euphoric". I don't know. I get good feelings, but they're definitely not sex feelings.
#136
Lorraine R 8 years ago
Also, when you carry tissues with you, and when you remember to pick up napkins in the cafeteria line.
#137
Emily Hisel 8 years ago
this is my most freaking favorite EVER!!!!!!!!!! also, is it crazy that im looking at the likes and such at the bottom at the screen and comparing them??? this one needs more upvotes!
#138
#139
Dawn Luttrell 8 years ago
Now that is exactly the kind of epic break-up I should have had with my ex. Just a simple, "I'm done with you. F**k off."
#142
#143
#144
Tamara Sager 8 years ago
And the men in the house just use the trash can as a giant game of Jenga.
#145
#146
Uriel Grey 8 years ago
Lol totally me! I am happy introverted hermit but. Likes the idea of Friends
#147
Emily Hisel 8 years ago
when life hands you med kits, get ready for a boss fight. meaning, its always too good to be true...
#148
#149
#150
Emily Hisel 8 years ago
when they tell you it's absolutely crazy important, but leave your mind to run wild on the details. !!!O_o!!!
#151
Christine Piette 8 years ago
Awwww, I guess that's cute. And also means they don't spend every waking moment sharing it on social media. Lol
#152
Emily Hisel 8 years ago
one year less until you die... i dont go around bragging about it, but if a subtle opportunity comes up during conversation with anyone, ill take it. i get excited too!
#153
arjelio mas 8 years ago
Poor Jesse. Sarcastic comedy has left him in its dust, never to be seen again, probably.
#154
#156
#157
Femkje Stroop 8 years ago
I guess because, just like my mom, your mom is unhappy in her life and tries to be in yours... she doesn't quite know how to be in it so tries to make you jealous, which only pisses you off even more... ? Close? Far off? Nailed it? 😅
#158
#160
#161
#162
#163
#164
Jesse Saving 8 years ago
When ur friend invites you to hang out but you realise too late their other half is there and you're just a third wheel
#165
#167
Anna Christina 8 years ago
or try my thing; carry around a backpack filled with plastic bags filled with plastig bags
#169
#172
Zahndré Van der Westhuizen 8 years ago
I can be black out drunk and not forget to remove my contact lenses!
#173
Just Amiable 8 years ago
I'm the chick who lined up for Szechuan sauce 😂 Long live Rick & Morty
#177
#179
#180
#181
Lisa Shaw 4 years ago
I had a MIL like this, she only brushed her teeth the day she going to see a dentist, which only happened every 10-12 years, she was in her early 50's and didn't know what dental floss or a douche were. She was floored when she walked in on me flossing my teeth, thought I had taken all the white thread out of her sewing basket!
#187
ArtistclyAutistic 8 years ago
Saaaaameee or when you feel like it changed you but its literally the same face that you hate.
#188
Sharon Voorhees 8 years ago
I pretended to be with my sil & g'son on their European tour and they truly thought I was going senile or had alzheimer's. Couldn't take a joke from an older person!
#191
Emily Hisel 8 years ago
thats me literally me right now... its fricking 11:30, and i need to sleep, but i must finish!
#196
#198
Kip The Otter 7 years ago
My dad used to say "They cost like fifty cents, they won't notice." *Slips pen in pocket* That is where 90% of our pens are from. The other 10% are the good pens we (the kids) aren't allowed to use because we will ruin them in 10 seconds flat and on total accident.
#200
#204
#205
#208
Panic!AtTheYeemo 8 years ago
i started laughing in the middle if math and people think im on more drugs than usual
#215
#216
#217
#223
#228
#229
#231
#232
#236
#239
Eliza Greenwood 8 years ago
The movie and TV industries impossible beauty standards... She looks so young to regular people but her agent is saying she's old
#240
D.S. Watson 8 years ago
What I hate is when my man shows me a funny meme as if I didn't show him that exact same meme two weeks ago like, so it's not just listening you have a problem with?
#242
Rose Blutige 8 years ago
Stop cramming things into yourself that weren't meant to be in those particular orifaces O.o
#243
#250
#256
#257
Just Carmen 8 years ago
This is me and my girlfriend. But we usually end up talking another 2 hours before we finally hang up.
#275
#276
#277
Krishna Vishwas 8 years ago
I like the way Abe is looking at trump.. it's like oh you special dumbfuck
#283
#288
Diane Lloyd 8 years ago
Thank you. I now have one of my favorite songs going around in my head. Loved it so much it used to be the wake up song on my alarm clock. Retired now...alarm clock donated.
#295
#312
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Ethan Slusser 8 years ago
Okay, people are already talking about this stuff so I’ll go ahead and give my critique of something. It’s come to my attention that these tweet posts are rather segregated. Why do we have to have “By women” in the title? It could just be tweets that made us laugh, we shouldn’t have to have “25 Tweets by gay people that made us laugh like nuts”. We should just call the “25 tweets that made us laugh like nuts”. My reviews of articles are always bittersweet, I see what you’re going for, feminism and all that. Heck I’m a feminist, but I just don’t seet the need to specify “ by women”. We can just simply have funny tweets. That’s my opinion on it anyways.
Dave Roger 8 years ago
If I had to wager a guess, I'd say it's because so many people say women aren't funny. Still, in 2018 people say that all the time. So maybe they felt it necessary to state that it was women being funny.
Load More Replies...
Magdalina777 8 years ago
This needs to be included in that "25+ unnecessarily and stupidly gendered things" article further down the page. Like, you know, an umbrella only from men, a collection of funny tweets only from women...
Ethan Slusser 8 years ago
Okay, people are already talking about this stuff so I’ll go ahead and give my critique of something. It’s come to my attention that these tweet posts are rather segregated. Why do we have to have “By women” in the title? It could just be tweets that made us laugh, we shouldn’t have to have “25 Tweets by gay people that made us laugh like nuts”. We should just call the “25 tweets that made us laugh like nuts”. My reviews of articles are always bittersweet, I see what you’re going for, feminism and all that. Heck I’m a feminist, but I just don’t seet the need to specify “ by women”. We can just simply have funny tweets. That’s my opinion on it anyways.
Dave Roger 8 years ago
If I had to wager a guess, I'd say it's because so many people say women aren't funny. Still, in 2018 people say that all the time. So maybe they felt it necessary to state that it was women being funny.
Load More Replies... Magdalina777 8 years ago
This needs to be included in that "25+ unnecessarily and stupidly gendered things" article further down the page. Like, you know, an umbrella only from men, a collection of funny tweets only from women...
Related on Bored Panda
