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It’s Time For The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are 35 That Might Crack You Up
The month is drawing to a close, so you know what that means — a new Bored Panda collection of funny and relatable parenting tweets.
That's right, just like in March, February, January, and the years before 2022, we're continuing the no-filter series in an attempt to normalize every step of this highly demanding and equally rewarding journey.
After all, raising kids is more than dressing them up in nice clothes and taking the little rascals to play dates. There are the never-ending questions, the meltdowns, the wiping (faces, hands, butts, dribbles, snot, poo, vomit…), and, of course, the unsolicited advice from the twenty-something childfree 'grownups'.
But moms and dads learn how to deal with all of this, and much, much more. They're often sleep-deprived, tired, and have little time for their personal lives, and yet, they persevere.
So let's take a moment to see what they go through and how they deal with everything. Continue scrolling and check out what parents had to say this April!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Lulxby 3 years ago
"Your kid is not the WORST patient we've had... This one kid tore down all our paintings! Wait.. that was your kid? Oh, nevermind..."
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
My sister was with my niece at the pediatrician's office when she was about 3... she was not playing very nicely with the other kids in the play area. The woman sitting next to my sister said "I'm glad that's not my kid!" My sister didn't know who was more embarrassed.
JKitte 3 years ago
After a dreadful weekend, I was at a master class with about 15 other people, most of them new to me. We each told how we spent our weekend as a “getting to know you” exercise. Me: I just spent the weekend with the most horrible child ever. Guy who I didn’t know: Davy Smith? He was right. A kid so horrible, you only need to say the words “horrible child” and someone TWO COUNTIES AWAY knows who it is.
J loves cats 3 years ago
Lol this happened to my mom at the emergency room except I was there for stitches in my butt cheek. I had climbed up onto something and fallen on a screw. A couple of weeks later my sister was in there for stitches on her ear lobe and made a comment about how her kids always have weird injuries. The receptionist tried to make her feel better by telling her the story of a little girl a few weeks ago with a screw in her butt.
RELATED:
#2
Šimon Špaček 3 years ago
Sometimes kids can say things that makes us horrified (and proud). Like my son (3,5 years old) , when he said "she is pretty, I would invite her to dinner. And breakfast." OK kid, I have nothing to teach now.
Caffeinated Hedgehog 3 years ago
7 YO: That's also what dad days when he invites women upstairs.
Mike Crow 3 years ago
My sons sixth birthday party at our house and half way through the party we could not find him or his friend Ashley. I went looking and found both of them on his bed kissing. I thought it was cute, the moms did not.
Naturally, all of the challenges that come with parenting make moms and dads ask themselves if they're up for it. So we contacted broadcaster, lifestyle blogger, and parenting expert Vicki Broadbent to ask her about the mindset that can brace them for all the bumps along the road.
"I think confidence generally tends to come with experience but that shouldn't apply to parenting as parents and guardians can read their babies and children's cues and needs instinctively, so you must trust your gut," the woman behind the acclaimed blog Honest Mum told Bored Panda.
"Doctors have told me of many cases where the mum and dad had been correct in pursuing further investigations despite initial tests being negative only to find that, yes, there was indeed something wrong with their child. Mama (and Papa) knows best."
#3
Miz Chelle 3 years ago
And cats! Hmmm, I think I will hide one in my next power point at work and see if anyone notices... LOL
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GoddessOdd 3 years ago
What about the lady bunnies? Bonnets? I think this is an excellent idea, but all the gentlemen bunnies probably also need coats and ties.
M. A. McKnight 🇺🇦 3 years ago
Do it, I double-dog dare you! (Top hats lend an air of sophistication and importance fo any situation!)
#4
iblowsheep 3 years ago
I can;t get that visual out of my head. I may have just discovered my new muse.
Andrea Wylie 3 years ago
My mother never understood me. It was simple - I wanted a BEAUTIFUL full hoop skirted ball gown while I was chasing bad guys through the forest with a sword. Why is that so hard to understand? You wanna look your best when you fight evil.
MimSorensson 3 years ago (edited)
Well - it must be good to know that on the whole, you’ve done things just right.
Brobro McDuderson 3 years ago
Dumb Q…does anyone else dislike the term “living their best life”? For the life of me I don’t even know why, but the term bugs me…
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
First time I heard it, I liked it. Only took till the third time for me to dislike it, not sure why either. I can almost ignore it now - but if someone ask " are you living you best life" I want to reply " no, because if I was I would be slapping you". I don't say that though, but I want to.
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Gladys Hayes Southerland 2 years ago (edited)
That is hilarious! She really is...l burst out laughing at the image.
#5
anime girl 3 years ago
My brother on Easter: *totally oblivious to that giant pink egg two feet away from him*
Victoria Anderson 3 years ago
My little brother, all the time, with everything. Then he walks away as soon as I point it out, leaving whatever he was supposed to find/do on me. He's who we'll leave behind in the event of the apocalypse/any evacuation, because he'll accidentally kill us otherwise.
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Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
My stepdaughter must be broken then, last year we had to hide stuff in our flat because of a lockdown, and she didn't even find Smartie's boxes in her Lego house... She didn't see a pink egg sitting right in a flower pot with a mini palm tree in it. She was almost 5 years old. My twin toddlers, on the other hand, wanted to pick a single red tulip in my mother's garden while hunting Easter eggs, because it looked so much like the eggs they had already found. They are 16 months old.
Gladys Hayes Southerland 2 years ago (edited)
Ditto for how they can't memorize their times tables but know every line of that horrible song you told them not to sing because it's indecent.
The bestselling author said parents are hyper-aware of their children's needs because biologically, they are built to keep the little ones safe and well. Knowing this should give them at least some reassurance.
"I always think mothers, in particular, are superhuman," Broadbent added. "I've woken up in the night instinctively knowing something is wrong with one of my kids, only to find one has a fever, for example. I've even used my peripheral vision to prevent a car accident with my boys. Believe in yourself, no one knows their kid better than you do!"
#6
iblowsheep 3 years ago
and not to mention the unmistakable brown ring around it.
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Holly Allen 3 years ago
Second grade teacher here. I say "your-uh-nus" which is actually acceptable in the science crowd. I try to find ways to survive LOL
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
I say it properly and keep a very straight serious face, glaring at the immaturity of children who laugh. Because that's way way more fun. Unfortunately, children who know me well do try and play me at my own game. Can be hard to regain your dignity if you double over laughing.
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Steve Fischer 3 years ago
Because of all the smirking, NASA has renamed the planet. It's now called Urectum
You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
Now try tell him about this store: https://www.uranusgeneralstore.com/ ...they sell fudge. Fudge comes out their uranus.
Lucky2BAlive 3 years ago
Wait till he gets to tit mouse. (I know “mature age” who STILL can’t contain their inner child. But they just want to be poopular)
#7
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
Speaking of... my friend told me her 8 y/o duct taped his 6 y/o sister's hair to the wall... I have no kids, so I have to ask... is this normal?
Miriam L 3 years ago
Oldest sibling here - It's not out of the ordinary. I wouldn't call it "normal" but stuff like that is part of most sibling dynamics. You're a kid, you're learning through experiments and experience, you have a teammate or sometimes opponent (or both!) to work with, crazy stuff is gonna happen. The context, and whether anyone was hurt or seriously upset, is what matters.
Load More Replies... Ambry Petersen 2 years ago
Most likes are weird in some way or another, but that's also how they make life wonderful and worthwhile.
#8
JuniorCJ82 3 years ago
https://www.amazon.com/There-Are-Moms-Worse-Than/dp/1523515643/ref=sr_1_1?crid=UZRG60OVQDI4&keywords=worse+moms&qid=1651251278&s=books&sprefix=worse+moms%2Cstripbooks%2C54&sr=1-1
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Karri Berkowitz 3 years ago
I'm a stepmom, I offer apples as a reminder it can be worse. They think it's funny
Nicola Roberts 3 years ago
This will now be the go to gift for all expectant parents at work. They will thank me for it when questioning life choices at 3am.
BigOrangeTractor 3 years ago (edited)
Can confirm. Source: am a livestock farmer that has, for example, seen a ewe wait for her newborn lamb to stand up on its wobbly legs and try to suckle then knock it into a muddy puddle and run away.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago (edited)
I had been giving "Go the F*CK to Sleep" as a baby shower gifts... this might make a nice set.
#9
Ian Taggart 3 years ago
Another advantage of not having kids: being able to recognise holidays for their true purpose.
Wyndmere 3 years ago
You can teach children the true meaning of each holiday from birth. You don't need to avoid becoming a parent just to acknowledge truth.
Load More Replies... Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
We always just collect them in their boxes so we can keep track of how many are missing... We've never kept track of how many we found, and we're 5 siblings. The big fight starts when we divide the sweets and my mother bought stuff that either nobody likes or everyone wants, at least that was the way when we were younger.
CammyCat 3 years ago
Our youngest found more money eggs than his older brother and he’s trying to come up with reasons why one should b taken away from the youngest to “make it more fair” while acknowledging that if ur was reversed, he would NOT willingly give one up to his brother because HE found the most 🙄
For everyone who wants to grow as a parent, Broadbent suggests focusing inwards and working on their boundaries.
"People love to give unsolicited advice to parents, so be open (some advice might be useful), polite but firm if you disagree, particularly if you feel family members are becoming overbearing," she said.
"I would read a select few parenting books too to empower yourself (my book Mumboss (UK) / The Working Mom (US + Canada) is an informative, nonjudgemental read)."
#10
Needmorecowbell 3 years ago
This is the only one that made me snort, but then again I am 50 year old woman with the sense of humor of a 13 year old boy.
Mariah Gensmer 3 years ago
When my son was 3, he stuck a woody doll in his undies (cuz who needs pants or pockets? 🙄) comes running in the kitchen and yells "look mom, woody!"
#11
the awesome Piplup 3 years ago
Take my UPVOTE! I thought you were going to say something else and it broke me🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Phoebe Stein 2 years ago
Keep that in your head when you eat them. (Still can't f*****g believe people kill and eat baby animals.)
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#12
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
But he might not have had enough for everyone... they take that very seriously sometimes.
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GoddessOfChaos 3 years ago
Why would he get in trouble for this? It’s sounds like an awesome time!
PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
Confusing. I did all kinds of stuff like this, and everyone was amused, including teachers. I look back fondly for this reason. I would be far more depressed than I am now if these were my memories instead :'-( :-( >:-(
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Maryanna Baldridge 3 years ago
As a teacher I would have allowed this on one condition. Everyone gets a pop tart. Especially me.
CLEMENTINE HENSON 3 years ago
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙂🙂🙂🤣🤣🤣🥲
#13
Suzanne Clark 3 years ago
My daughter would ask her Dad a question and after he launched into a detailed explanation she would say "I don't want to know that much".
"I would also recommend considering therapy so you can heal from any past trauma ... so you build your own self-worth and confidence, enabling you to raise your children confidently," Broadbent said.
"Once you know yourself deeply and respect and love yourself, you can share that gift and those important skills with your kids."
#14
River Webb 3 years ago
How would you feel if some massive rando that bosses you around and tells you to eat your veggies just randomly decides to throw out your daughter? how would you feel?
Chris B 3 years ago
I think there are people reading this comment and contemplating what to do with a spare quiet afternoon...
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Gingergirl 3 years ago
Is no one else going to mention the fact she had no idea she has a granddaughter?
Adrian 3 years ago
I put my son's teddy bear in the washing m/c last week - I think I found out what the end of the world will be like.
LC Joyce 2 years ago
You have a washing motorcycle?!! Cool! My husband will be so stoked.
Load More Replies... Alexis minnix 3 years ago
I read this as “tried to throw a slightly neglected BABY into the toy basket”
Roxy Eastland 3 years ago
My small daughter is sitting on the trampoline talking to her friend, absentmindedly breastfeeding her doll. I turn back to speak to my friend, then look back again. My daughter is now talking animatedly to her friend, while swinging the doll by the ankles so its head bounces off the trampoline. She is now a young adult and thankfully hasn't yet decided she wants to have children . . .
Gladys Hayes Southerland 2 years ago
At least she's not invisible. I hate invisible friends- no matter what l do, l always manage to sit on them or run over them...
#15
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
Have you ever seen the video of a mass of butterflies all taking flight at once? That's how I envision the flurry of email and texts erupting after this trigger.
Jonathan Jeffries 2 years ago
If I'd had sent that, I'd just follow up with, "Well, yeah it's been planned for two months now. I just can't find the flyer my son/daughter brought home." And say nothing else.
#16
Miah Lee 3 years ago
In the back of a quiet and dark car, when I was about 4 or 5, I screamed “I CANT FEEL ANYTHING”. My father was driving, and held his cool. My mother on the other hand…”OH GOD WHATS WRONG WITH MY BABY! ITS GONNA BE OKAY, WHAT HAPPENED!?” That kinda thing. Til the day she died, she told me when I giggled and said, “it’s because I’m not touching anything” was the beginning of her heart problems.
Mariah Gensmer 3 years ago
No but my 2yro who was very pale and white blonde hair was standing next to my bed staring at me at 2am one night. Does that count?
Elaine Ann 3 years ago
My eldest climbed out at 9 months and used to move things round/trash stuff in our bedroom but would get back in. I thought we had a poltergeist, lol, until I caught him on day getting back in.
Carol Wilson 3 years ago
My granddaughter used to hide a lot at that age. She chose different hiding spots to make it harder to find her. She even did it at someone else's house.
Evelyn Ann 3 years ago
My little sister was born when i was 18 months old and i hid her in a closet and behind the couch. (out of sight=doesn't exist?) Was told there were a few missed heartbeats over those antics!
Gladys Hayes Southerland 2 years ago (edited)
Not normal. Put my 10 month old in her brand new, just assembled crib for her nap, so l could finally, safely take a leisurely bubble bath. Had just eased into the tub (ah, bliss) when something said, "go check on her". I came around the corner just in time to see most of the 10m/o dangling three feet above the floor on the wrong side of the crib. Her foot & ankle had gotten stuck in the bars, preventing her from falling. She wasn't crying or anything, just wiggling, trying to figure it out. After l unsnagged her, calmed down & got dressed, I dismantled the crib & took it back. She got a twin bed which took her no time at all to get out of. (She's 29 now & did five sports in high school)
#17
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
Not just to take a break. I actually want my children to show their father that they love him. It's frustrating to him (and in extension to me, because I love him) to be rejected by our 16-months-old twins, but there are just too many situations (bedtime, when they want to snuggle, when they want to be carried ...) when one of them runs amok because she is with her father while I have her sister. It would be much simpler AND my husband and I would be much happier if they weren't quite so Mama-centric...
Ambry Petersen 2 years ago
Ahhhh the Mother's conundrum. I want some time to take a nice relaxing solo shower, but I don't want to be away from my baby!
According to research by Lifetime Daily, one in three parents are more open to advice about jobs and education from their relatives than they are to those regarding lifestyle choices or their kids.
Interestingly, the site noted that Baby Boomers considered their family members to be less intrusive when it came to raising kids than Gen Zs (those born between 1996 and 2011). This is likely due to the concept of "helicopter parenting," which first came about around 25 years ago.
#18
UDERSERVELOVE! 3 years ago
CIA: Take him out. Little kid: I'll put on the veil. They'll never know my true identity.
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Aidan Pite 3 years ago
My mom has a picture of me completely naked except for a cheap witch hat, sitting cross legged on the floor folding and organising my sock drawer.
Robert Trebor 3 years ago
Still got it. I keep it quiet because people already think I'm odd.
Load More Replies... GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I can see how this could be very useful in adult life. I love the horsey shirt! (and I can only dream about a pantry this nice!)
#19
Eb 3 years ago
If you were a bank teller, you'd literally live for moments like that.
Load More Replies... Adrian 3 years ago
I (the father) was wheeling my three year old daughter through the local department store just before Christmas a few years ago. They had gold painted reindeer standing at ground level among other decorations. She reached out and grabbed one reindeer's tail and yelled out at the top of her voice "Daaad, this reindeer's got a penis". The tail broke off and she was waving it around so just staring about with an innocent expression wouldn't work. I got out of there ASAP.
MCMLXXIII 3 years ago
I could have seen any of my three children doing that one.
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Donna Benjamin 3 years ago
My two boys at 5 and 12 had a bendy rubber giraffe toy. I heard them laughing hysterically in their room and went into see what was so funny. They had taken the tail of the giraffe and bent it between the back legs so it looked like an erect penis. Boys ! Laugh a minute !
the awesome Piplup 3 years ago
Well considering cows are female I'm with the daughter on this one🤣
Frank Hayes 2 years ago
Shopping for groceries and passing the meat section one see sausages and shouts ‘mom, they have cow penises!’ Try talking him down, no that isn’t what they are. He INSISTS and continues almost shouting ‘They’re cow penises!’
Lisa McKay 2 years ago
I described cows teats as nipples one day in front of a Swiss farmer. I was known in the community as Nipples for a looong time.
The Greatest JMS W Cool Animation 3 years ago
How can you say that without embarrassment in front of a bank teller?!!
Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago
I'm assuming that means they were at the bank at this time.
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GoddessOdd 3 years ago
Vending machines are the next best thing to magic... push a button and something wonderful appears!
Rebekah Conard 3 years ago
I feel that. My favorite part of my trip to Mexico in 2009 was the Coke vending machine in our Acapulco hotel that cost 70 pesos per can and stocked Manzana Lift. I miss it every day.
Atrociraptorous 2 years ago
Awww! Vendy will miss you too, kid. He enjoyed it when he gave you snacks...
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
I was absolutely dazzled by my first automat (they died out in the 70's).
Maryanna Baldridge 3 years ago
To this day when we talk about our last trip to Hawaii (my son was 4), he says the best part was the cheese the hotel served in the afternoon.
#21
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
My BFF's kid spent a good 18 months throwing her clothes out of car windows, into bodies of water, and in various places in supermarkets because she just didn't like clothes. She once arrived at my house wearing only a shirt and one shoe... the rest was discarded en route.
Ghaniyah Verma 3 years ago
Okay, so he'll grow up only wearing shoes and running around naked.
According to the survey, parents were considered the nosiest family members, followed by in-laws, extended family, and then siblings. However, those who were surveyed also said that parents' advice was best received out of those categories, followed by extended family.
#22
Reviewer UK01 3 years ago
Phew! Because bright red poop in a young child can also be a sign of a very serious bowel disorder that needs immediate medical help. Source: thankfully did not die of this myself, but it was close.
Gloria Bethallen 3 years ago
I would be kind of scared if you did die and still wrote this. Just kidding. Glad you survived
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A 3 years ago
Same thing happened with my toddler, but the culprit was red jello. We were about to take him to A & E because we thought he was in crisis, but then remembered the jello the previous day.
MCMLXXIII 3 years ago
This happened to me when I was a baby. My family maked liquid Jello for me to get hydrated while I was sick. My dad said every hour for 24 hours he changed a head to toe red sh!tty diaper.
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Cheyenne 3 years ago (edited)
The first time I fed my son strained beets (he was about 5 or 6 months old), he laid a bright red poop in his Pampers.
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Mike Miller 3 years ago
We panicked and called the pediatrician. Uh. It was a red crayon. Blood in the poop would be brown, not bright red.
Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago
If whatever caused the bleeding is still bleeding, it's gonna be bright red.
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#23
Devil's Advocate 3 years ago
Moana is better than frozen, and I'll defend this hill until I die
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Man in the ceiling 3 years ago
My little brother always watches encanto, finding Nemo, or Moana.
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GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I had a seriously insane neighbor call the cops on the guy across the street for "brainwashing" his granddaughter. His granddaughter was playing in the back of his van, listening to the song from Barney over and over and over and over...
Remi 3 years ago
It's actually the granddaughter that's doing the brainwashing
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ChickyChicky 3 years ago
What they really don't prepare you for? When your kid is 10, and doesn't remember the movie they watched daily for two years when they were a toddler. When your kid doesn't recognize quotes or songs or characters from that movie. When you watch it again with them, and they don't like it. I spent two years of my life watching this movie with you, and now we can't quote it together. :(
GenXandEarnedItAll 3 years ago
I had to suffer through that movie with my first child...second child arrived 7 years later. Guess who had to go through the whole Frozen craziness again?!
#24
Eb 3 years ago
Remember the dentist from the Little Shop of Horrors? This looks like exactly the right early training.
Load More Replies... GoddessOdd 3 years ago
Years ago I had a roommate who did this... only there was a drawer with half a dozen open tubes of toothpaste in various stages of destruction. I finally drew the line when they started doing this to my toothpaste too. (They were SHOCKED that I knew they were using my toothpaste... like I wouldn't notice this)
Sportsgal 3 years ago
That's how serial killers squeeze it! They kill cats, set fires, and THEN THIS!!
Anna Repp 3 years ago
Yep, if a serial killer is not arrested, their crimes will escalate. Who knows what they will do next if not stopped? Pour milk before cereal?
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Trillian 3 years ago
At least he's trying to use it all up. Mine opens a new one when the old has like a third left bc it's too much trouble to squeeze so hard.
Ernesto 3 years ago
He's trying to use it all up? Looks to me like half the tube is stuck at the bottom and never coming out...
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Deborah Enwright 3 years ago
If you figure it out lmk because I made the same one only mine is almost 30
#25
Persephone 3 years ago
This will make my eye twitch for the rest of the week!!
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Gladys Hayes Southerland 2 years ago
And l am thinking about this... it's true. Deep thinker he is.
When it comes to outsiders teaching you how to raise your own kids, something that can be particularly frustrating, Broadbent thinks the best way to respond to them is with love and kindness. But also honesty. "I would gently make it clear that I prefer doing x, y, z, for example, but thank you."
Parent-shaming isn't harmless and it can be impossible to avoid. Luckily, solidarity (whether it's expressed in real life or through Twitter) can be a good antidote against it.
#26
Debbie Burton 3 years ago
My 4 yr old told me that her sister used to be her daughter and didnt like her 'last time' ... she was so glad they were best friends now. I sat down and asked her what did she mean. She said she was an Amish woman with 11 kids and Elise had been her youngest - now Elise is her big sister! Was an intersting few years before she stopped talking about it (she loved helping with the washing machine hahahaha)
Lyra Sis 3 years ago
When my son was 4 we drove pass an apartment building that had a grave yard across the street. We stopped at the red light and he said " I use to live there" as he pointed the the apartment building. Followed by "And I am laid to rest there" pointing to the grave yard. I said nothing and kept driving. I had questions but was not prepared for the answers so I just drove when the light changed colors.
Susan Atkinson 3 years ago
My son spoke to someone named Chief. We live on former Lenape' Land.
Lyra Myers 3 years ago
Me: Nawww, reincarnation isn't real. Me after reading this post: Reincarnation is what happens.
#27
Serial pacifist 3 years ago
It was just one moment of weakness. I admit I am only human. Please forgive me...
Lori Rommel 3 years ago
Ha ha - I've never been the one to bump the like count to 69 -- until now!
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Mary Leverett 3 years ago
When my daughter was 2.5-3 yrs old, we were watching a rather explicit show about childbirth. The woman had opted for "all-natural" (ie, NO drugs), so she was rather ......... vocal throughout. My daughter was standing next to me watching this, and asked, after a rather severe shriek-a-thon, if having a baby hurts. Not wanting to lie to her, I said yes, but you forget it as soon as you hold your baby. With all the solemnity she could muster, she looked at the TV, looked at me, looked back at the TV, then gently patted her tummy & said, "When I have a baby, I'm keeping it in my belly."
#28
Adrian 3 years ago
My grandson (6yo) rarely says a word except a muttered 'yes' or 'no'. Imagine our surprise when on a long trip in the country he started counting 1 2 3 4 5 6 etc. He got to over a thousand before we managed to divert his attention to animal names which went on for another hour with animals I'd never heard of, the 'tarsier' sticks in my mind. He too has a limited vocabulary according to his teacher. Lol
Persephone 3 years ago
Nah, his teacher does, and that teacher bores him.
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GoddessOdd 3 years ago
Sadly, I think this happens too often. Educators often test against a narrow standard, that was created decades ago, and kids learn about different things in different ways now. I took a whole semester about educational bias way back in the day, and it's probably a lot worse now.
Aidan Pite 3 years ago
Unless he's using the lapis for enchants I really don't see how blue is gonna help build a pink structure.
Man in the ceiling 3 years ago
Maybe they make lapis blocks and add them to the structure? That’s the only thing I could think of.
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Jill Chambers 3 years ago
Not below average vocabulary, just below average willingness to talk about what other people want him to talk about.
L.A. Trefry 3 years ago (edited)
My son was rated not ready for kindergarten because he couldn't identify a picture of a thimble or a thermos (two things I didn't ever use) and just answered "goat" to a picture of a goat's head instead of specifying "billy goat." I enrolled him in Kindergarten anyway.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
Those seem like some strange requirements for kindergarten. Where I teach, 'school readiness' is things like being able to sit and listen to the teacher for more than 10 minutes, knowing how to grip a pencil and being able to play both independently and with others. There are lots of companies that prey on parents by claiming their child should know how to count to 20, read and write alphabet and similar things they can teach them for a fee though.
Load More Replies... Pascal 3 years ago
Don’t worry it’s no better on the other side. We were told school was ‘concerned’ our child had such a large vocabulary, and it clearly could ONLY mean we were allowing them to be privy to ‘adult’ conversations. These weren’t swear words, in case that’s what anyone is thinking.
Lori Rommel 3 years ago
My son had a HUGE vocabulary by the time he started school. We thought it was fun to teach him big words. Nobody ever expressed concern, though.
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Sobeida Avitia 3 years ago
When I had a psych eval at like 12/13 the psychiatrists commented that I read top much. That didn't go over well lmao.
Emmy Dumont 3 years ago
Minecraft is the bane of my life.... and I don't even wanna talk about Aphmau. Can't wait for my daughter to be over it!
Janet Graham 2 years ago
They seem to not ask the correct questions in those evaluations. If they would just have a conversation with the kid, and let him direct it, they would know.
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Andre Blue 3 years ago
I was tripping balls once on a "getaway" and was hallucinating trying to put on my kid's shoes. She was not cooperating.
Andre Blue 3 years ago
To clarify: I literally spent an unknown amount of time trying to put hallucinatory shoes on a hallucinatory child.
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Little king trash mouth 3 years ago
My car battery died while in the pickup line at my son's school last year because I'm an idiot. Readers, I was the FIRST car in line and was so proud of this until the kids starting coming out and my car wouldn't start. Someone eventually did help me but it was mortifying having everyone have shimmy around me
Madelyn Jeffords 3 years ago
Just toured my new school and my mom says her new worst fear is carpool
Tammy Moos 3 years ago
Really?!?! I took the school bus and so does my son. Can't imagine being that anxious when going to the school! I'm feel bad for those who have to do drop-off and pick up!!!
Ygbfsm 3 years ago
I can't imagine people being upset if you are broke down rather than getting in that last minute a$$ chewing or the parent with the daily long goodbye at the drop off. But really I don't know. Never seen this. The options were, walk or take bus, if there was one. Those who are giving you a hard time, show them, they are #1 🖕as they slither around you.
#31
Adrian 3 years ago
And nobody said a thing about home-schooling either - and how many of us had past experience of that to draw on.
Tigerpacingthecage 3 years ago
Yes. That's one of the hard things to accept. How constant parenthood is. But also, as they grow a little older and actually can have a conversation with you, how nice people they are to hang out with and when you see parts of you in them. Or, well, to be honest, you see the not so good parts of you too.
Clinton Clark 3 years ago
But the best thing.... is that when the are grown they'll be your best friends and you'll probably wanna hang with them anyway. 🙂
Becky Graybeal 3 years ago
I called my mother after my first child was born and yelled "You never told me I'd never go to the bathroom alone again!"
SingingCatMom 2 years ago
When my child had her first sloppy cold, the pediatrician told me not to worry - normal healthy babies got 6 or more colds a year. What he did NOT tell me was that I would get everyone of her colds. I was a professional singer. ARRRGHH
#32
River Webb 3 years ago (edited)
"but mommy wanted an extra challenge so thats why her hands were handcuffed and daddy was headbutting her legs!"
You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
Or you can do what my brother does: tells the kids that they're making another baby and unless they behave themselves they'll get another sibling to reduce the attention, candy, ipad screen time, etc., that they are entitled to.
Kelli Pike 3 years ago
Never forget when my now 10 year old was like 4 and yelled through our locked (wrapping presents) door, "ARE YOU GUYS SEXING???" Good times.
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
When your son tells the sunday school teacher that your soul leaves through your feet because he "accidentally" saw mommy's feet in the air screaming "God I'm coming!"
ArodTheHorrible 3 years ago
Stop lying about the made up stuff, and explain the real stuff in an age appropriate way. Seems simple to not be a liar
Joran Quinten 3 years ago
Wait, Easter bunny ánd tooth fairy ánd mommy and daddy were wrestling?
#33
martin734 3 years ago (edited)
WTF is that? Liquid egg whites in a carton? Why is that even a thing?
The Other Guest 3 years ago
So you don't waste a dozen egg yolks making an angel food cake or pavlova; or for a yolk-free omelet if you're on a low-cholesterol diet.
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Cicimelia 3 years ago
In French, egg nog is called 'lait de poule' - literally chicken's milk!
Francine Govan 3 years ago
YES! I was 20 before I even tried it for this reason!! Chicken milk sounds ewwwwww! lol
Load More Replies... Adrian 3 years ago
Great for making a pavlova base, but does this imply that you can get a carton of egg yolks as well?
Memere 3 years ago (edited)
Yes, just the yolks can be bought too but they can be hard to find depending on where you live. They're not unbroken yolks though, they're usually liquefied.
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#34
the awesome Piplup 3 years ago
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I almost peed from laughing at your comment
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#35
Terri Comstock 2 years ago
THATS FUNNY MY SONE DID SOMTHING LIKE THAT HE WAS 3 OR 4 WE WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND HE DID NOT COME BACK FOR 20 MIN I SENT MY HUSBAND TO GO CHECK ON HIM MY HUSBAND CAME BACK AND I ASKED HIM IS EVERY THING OK HE SAID NO I FREEKED OUT HE SAID OUR SON WAS STRANGE WHY I GUESS HE HAD TO GO POO HE HAD STRIPED DOWN BUTT NAKED YOU KNOW CHILDREN ARE AND I GUESS HE WAS SINGING HIS OWN SONG STINKLEY LITTLE POOP POOP LITTLE POOP POOP MY HUSBANY WAS LAUGHING SO HARD I ALMOST CHOKED THE ENTIRE RESTAURANT WAS LAUGHING I WAS EMBARRASSED
#37
Memere 3 years ago
Scholastic Book Fair was the BEST part of every school year! Definitely the Super Bowl of school.
Terry Tobias 3 years ago
My father was a big reader and always encouraged me to read as much as possible. Scholastic Book time in school was like Christmas to me. I'd bring the brochure home and it was like nothing for me to pick out 6 or 7 books at a time for my dad to pay for. It's definitely one of the best investments that you can make for your child!
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Lady Fos-Boss 3 years ago
*glances over at the 6 posters that I got from the scholastic book fair, one for each year of elementary school that are still hanging on my wall, while reliving one of the best parts of school*
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I think I preferred Book Club to the Book Fair, because you had time to peruse all the catalogues and work out the best value for money. Plus I liked filling out forms :)
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Trillian 3 years ago
Lol here busses don't even have seats for everyone. You're lucky if you can squish in.
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Brandon Marlowe 3 years ago
Now, to be fair, there IS a seat belt on the school bus: for the driver.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
On my first day of high school, after taking the bus, I heard from my friend that his sister had broken her arm on the last day of the previous year. How? She was standing on the bus in the aisle and it made a sudden stop and she was flung towards the windscreen!
Danielle Ocasio Fast 3 years ago
There is a shortage of bus drivers where I live and the kids sit 3 to a seat
#42
Manic Mama 3 years ago
She's looking at me! She's breathing my air (back seat of the car). Wish I was making this up. :(
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Douglas Gilanyi 2 years ago
Mine are 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. I feel your pain to a degree most will never comprehend.
#43
Lynne Hammar 3 years ago
One Thanksgiving I sat at the kids' table and heard myself yelling, "Anthony! We do not touch people with a bean!!"
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Kelli Pike 3 years ago
My 10 year old made me a Nutella and cool whip sandwich last weekend. I feel so lucky.
Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago
That sounds awesome - I'll have to try that.
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#51
Mashmelo 2 years ago
NOOOOO NOOOOO ILL BE GOOD!! DONT TAKE BUBBLES HE WILL BE LONELY
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Laura Mende (Human) 3 years ago
Not birds. They live on the water, so they're amphibic. Or strange fish.
Michelle Watkins 3 years ago
I looked it up cuz i wondered and they are aquatic birds? but yea they are birds
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GenXandEarnedItAll 3 years ago
Elementary school sent home recorders in the box of supplies during pandemic. It went straight into trash. Was it not enough torture being stuck in the house with then for all those months?!
You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/6c979728-27e7-4f14-9d27-5a967c413c85
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Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I remember being obsessed with following the biting pattern on the taco package precisely. Still managed to drop half of the filling though.
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Lynn Morello 3 years ago
My hubby used to say, if he wanted to know where I was, just to look for the line of kids and animals waiting at a closed door.
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Emma Kilcup 3 years ago
Later: 15- Mommy, why haven't you paid my allowance to me yet? Mom- I don't know, I'l let you know when I do.
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Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
My mom just keeps calling me until I get my lazy butt off my bed.
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Terry Tobias 3 years ago
When I was 5 my friend and I decided that it was time to take the training wheels off my bike by ourselves. I now wish that I'd kept them... I'm 61.
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Lynn Morello 3 years ago
Oh no mum, not potatoes and gravy again. Can't I just have my chops with bread?
#67
Little Wonder 3 years ago
We had to learn the recorder at school, so Marcy here may not have had a choice
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Terry Tobias 3 years ago
Slip something of your own in there that's nearby when he's not looking... the remote, car keys, your toothbrush, then you'll have two gifts and you can act surprised when you get a "gift" too!
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Lynn Morello 3 years ago
I would rather do my Maths, no matter what grade. I once went to the Math's teach in the middle of his teaching 5th grade, to ask if I could switch classes from English to Maths, I cried when he said no. I was 7
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Lynn Morello 3 years ago
It will be fun they said. Yet they won't take my kids when I need a vacation.
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SingingCatMom 2 years ago
I am SOOOOOO glad I had my kids early enough that being online 9 hours a day wasn't a thing. So I missed the Minecraft stage.
Lynn Morello 3 years ago
You Know what????????? Were the words I dreaded most, especially at 4:30 am.
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moose man 3 years ago
i looked in the mirror and i stepped outside; i took a deep breath and i get real high
Terry Tobias 3 years ago
I like the 7 year old's version better. For some reason "took a deep dreath and I get rell hi" speaks to me.
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Shaquille.Oatmeal 2 years ago
Lmao i just realized it was the song. Took me so long id forgotten
Load More Replies... #79
Brandon Marlowe 3 years ago
Already a tradition at my house. Except: Not just on Easter and instead of eggs, it's cell phone, car keys, eyeglasses, etc.
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Laura Mende (Human) 3 years ago
That is sooo relatable! Im the youngest of five and sure enough my mom call me everything but my name...
Guðrún Sveinsdóttir 3 years ago
Me and my sister live in different countries and are never called the right names and also, I call my daughter my sisters name for some reason.
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Reviewer UK01 3 years ago
My parents couldn't agree what to call us, so after putting something on birth certificates they proceeded to spend our whole lives addressing us by the other names they chose. Sometimes I sign a name at the bottom of an email by accident which massively confuses someone who didn't know it's one of my "other names".
SingingCatMom 2 years ago
Oh, yeah...I maybe felt a little bad when I also went through the cat names. We had 5.
Kelli Pike 3 years ago
We keep calling our 11mo by our 10yo's name. She's so f*****g done with it lol.
Lynn Morello 3 years ago
Hahahahaha, I used to run down the names of my kids until I hit the right one. I don't know how many times My son Scott would say MUM I';m NOT Tammy Or Nessa. I am Scott.
#81
Judy Reynolds 3 years ago
That's good - imagine how freaked out you'd be if the balloons talked to you!
Gladys Hayes Southerland 2 years ago (edited)
l want to ask "why?" but I'm scared of the answer. Little kids intimidate me because their thinking is a whole other level of rational.
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Lynn Morello 3 years ago
I used to get asked If I remembered the Dinosaurs. Did we have one as a pet?
#83
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago
I hated when my mum blasted her music when she cleaned, I felt so overwhelmed and overstimulated, couldn’t escape it.
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Panda in the Fake South 3 years ago
When my daughter was learning about communion in preschool she was with my wife in the dollar store. She pointed to the wine, "Mommy when you drink that you talk to Jesus! ".
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Terry Tobias 3 years ago
I put my pants on over my shorts and went to the store today... no kids were involved.
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Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I don't understand the point of theme parks, so that is another thing to add to the list of things my sister can do with my kids when I have some.
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You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
Always buy three. And then when you finish yours, demand part of theirs as "dad tax".
moose man 3 years ago
my dad always does this. my sisters hate it, but i reluctantly oblige.
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You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
What I never understood was why it was called netflix if the movie was physically delivered to you, like, not over internet.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
Your queue was done online and you had to sign up for the service online as well.
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SingingCatMom 2 years ago
And....this was before everyone had a big enough internet connection to stream movies.
Rebe 3 years ago
Why is it a fishing net if we actually catch fish in it? Why is it still a net when we score in soccer rather than playing fifa on line. Net was a physical thing first. Netflix was the transition phase between something physical and something metaphorical. Genuine answer from someone who remembers the past.
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Alexander Smith 3 years ago
Is this a real thing? If so I'd be a horrible mother I'm not good with social interactions!
54 s 2 years ago
It is a real thing. It's not great for me (or the unfortunate other parent that has to deal with awkward af me) but it's about the kids. So.
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Terry Tobias 3 years ago
Peanut butter was a food group when I was a kid. Moms spread it on bread with jelly and happily packed it into their kiddos' lunch bags and boxes. I can't imagine not being able to have PB&J for a school lunch.
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What do you think ?
Sara 3 years ago (edited)
I'm teaching my kid to use the toilet so I got her a tiny toilet bc why not? (She hates it ) Anyway she was sitting on it and I was giggling because I thought she looked cute and she looks me dead in my face and says "Im not a cartoon so don't laugh at me 😡" I had to leave the bathroom to crack up bc she was so mad but a tiny human with tiny purple glasses sitting on a tiny toilet giving me a death stare is the funniest thing I've witnessed this year.
Holly Bee 3 years ago
My youngest would nod off while using his. I'd come back in to find him sprawled out like a spider monkey, butt still somehow firmly attached to the toilet. Yes there are pictures. I couldn't let a perfect blackmail moment like that pass by.
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Person #1,051 3 years ago
Not a parent, but a sister. When she was learning to read, my sis had some trouble between 'th' an 'f' sounds. So she puts up a poster that reads (translated from toddler speech): F words are the best including fart✔
Elizabeth VanDyke 3 years ago
My kids, when young, called an umbrella an underbrella, but I must admit that they heard it first from me. Which only shows to go ya, that kids remember everything they hear...except what they should remember.
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
But you are here. And if your kids are grown, then you raised them in a different time. I see nothing fabricated here
Load More Replies... Sara 3 years ago (edited)
I'm teaching my kid to use the toilet so I got her a tiny toilet bc why not? (She hates it ) Anyway she was sitting on it and I was giggling because I thought she looked cute and she looks me dead in my face and says "Im not a cartoon so don't laugh at me 😡" I had to leave the bathroom to crack up bc she was so mad but a tiny human with tiny purple glasses sitting on a tiny toilet giving me a death stare is the funniest thing I've witnessed this year.
Holly Bee 3 years ago
My youngest would nod off while using his. I'd come back in to find him sprawled out like a spider monkey, butt still somehow firmly attached to the toilet. Yes there are pictures. I couldn't let a perfect blackmail moment like that pass by.
Load More Replies... Person #1,051 3 years ago
Not a parent, but a sister. When she was learning to read, my sis had some trouble between 'th' an 'f' sounds. So she puts up a poster that reads (translated from toddler speech): F words are the best including fart✔
Elizabeth VanDyke 3 years ago
My kids, when young, called an umbrella an underbrella, but I must admit that they heard it first from me. Which only shows to go ya, that kids remember everything they hear...except what they should remember.
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
But you are here. And if your kids are grown, then you raised them in a different time. I see nothing fabricated here
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