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It’s Time For The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are The Best Ones This March (40 Pics)
It’s the end of yet another month and you perfectly know what that means — it’s time for some of the wittiest things moms and dads have posted on Twitter. You know, once they could take a break from chasing kids all around the house, witnessing their absurd shenanigans, and nodding through their extremely innovative and well-calculated business ideas.
Well, if there’s one thing we know about parenthood — it’s one hell of a ride. Raising a human being from scratch comes with a fair amount of chaos and plenty of amusing stories to share.
So get ready, because we’re about to take a deep dive into the joys and struggles of bringing up a child. We wrapped up some of the funniest tweets to help you find comfort and let out some genuine laughs, so continue scrolling and upvote your favorites as you go! And if you’re still hungry for more, check out our older posts: February, January, December.
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#7
Luther von Wolfen 4 years ago (edited)
Mine said "Do you know Bikini Kill?" and I was like "This is my beloved child, with whom I am well pleased."
#11
Brendan Roberts 4 years ago
Prior to having kids, I swore that I'd never feed them junk food, that I wouldn't let them sleep in my bed, and that I'd keep TV time to an absolute minimum. Oh, how naive!
#16
Brendan Roberts 4 years ago
My 4yo likes a mixture of two cereals, and, to his horror, I poured the rice crispies on top of the Cheerios. May he, one day, forgive me.
#23
Jill Chambers 4 years ago
I'll never forget watching Brownies having a water fight (I was a leader but not joining in). One filled her welly up then when everyone else had run out of water she took it off and poured it over her rival 🤢
#24
Kitty Xander 4 years ago
I, too, have an angry meltdown when my cereal is not made in the most perfect way.
#25
Brendan Roberts 4 years ago
My kids are my alarm clock, and unfortunately there isn't a "snooze" button.
#29
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴘʟᴀʏs_ᴄʀᴋ 4 years ago
*in over excited ad voice* Druggy dinos! Make your kids happy, and get some sleep into it too! Makes your kids close their lids! They’ll have happy dinosaur dreams! ROAR! Get your Druggy Dinos today!
#31
#32
jimmy koerner 4 years ago
Thought dominance was established by threatening to take away their legos or no noggin for a month
#34
Uber Mensch 4 years ago
There's the problem: if you don't want them, why should they? Try the whitewashing-the-fence ploy...
#37
Brendan Roberts 4 years ago
My 4yo puts his toothbrush in his mouth. But that doesn't necessarily mean he brushes his teeth.
#38
Tonya Wallace 4 years ago
That was a game my dad played with me. He was the food taster, and if it was really good he'd say," ooohhhhh, this is nasty! Do yourself a favor and don't eat it!"" Then I'd know to dig in and grub.
#39
#53
#54
Joanne Lawrence 4 years ago
Also having them seemingly blurt out every random thought that enters their mind, leaving you wondering what, if anything, they didn't say leading up to that thought.
#58
#61
Queen Shay 4 years ago
I’m in my late 30s and my mom still has a clay handprint that we did in elementary school. Moms rock
#72
Luther von Wolfen 4 years ago
Walking into church one day, holding hands, my then-5yo said, "Daddy, you what's a really rude word? F*ck." I had to agree.
#73
Lynne Hammar 4 years ago (edited)
sister & I used to watch intently every time a beverage was being poured into two glasses. God forbid they were not *exactly even* or there'd be holy hell to pay
#76
#79
#80
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 4 years ago
“Should we roll down the windows and party?” Is how I’m starting every single vehicle trip from now on
#82
Joanne Lawrence 4 years ago (edited)
Basically, if the school assignment requires the parents to do more work than the kids, it should not be a school assignment. How is that not a given, honestly? I'm not the one being graded. All those assignments tell you is which kids have parents who are overachievers.
#83
Jasper Cool 4 years ago
Haha my kid also didn't like spicy toothpaste at age 4. He called mint gum spicy too.
#86
#88
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 4 years ago
Hahahaha I’m 30 and still irrationally scared of the dark so yeah this is me 😂
#97
Luther von Wolfen 4 years ago
I love Minecraft because my kid will actually talk about it and I don't have to care or understand.
#101
Courtney Johnston 4 years ago
That's why i ask them a question back before i answer. Conversation with my nephew. N: Titi, why do you have blue eyes and daddy has brown eyes? Me: why do you think i have blue eyes? N: i think its cause you live near the ocean. So you're eyes look like the ocean. Me: that's sweet, you know your daddy lived near the ocean before you were born right? N: oh, i guess not for long enough.
#102
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
And you had to clap and laugh and praise them while trying to discretely back away.
#103
#104
Ross Warren 4 years ago
My daughter decided that her stuffed animal's birthday is whenever we walk past the bakery and she needs an excuse to get a cake.
#108
Kitty Xander 4 years ago
I, too, am a colonist, civilian, disciplinarian, believer, director, pedestrian, disciplinarian (again), artist and inventor. All jokes aside though, this kid will ace the spelling quiz!
#110
#113
#114
Jill Pulcifer 4 years ago
So true! A few years ago my eldest decided her only goal in life was getting on an Overwatch league, and she was really good. BUT, she decided it the game was lagging by like 2 ms and it was all our fault and her life was now over. It was a fun few days.
#117
#119
Kitty Xander 4 years ago (edited)
I used to do that! I wanted a dog reeeaaallly bad, so I became the dog. I would also force my little sister to be a dog.
#120
#125
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What do you think ?
Aisling Raye 4 years ago
I love that the vast majority of "parenting tweets" on the internet can just as easily be describing drunk adults.
Aisling Raye 4 years ago
I love that the vast majority of "parenting tweets" on the internet can just as easily be describing drunk adults.
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