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65 Funny Parenting Tweets Every Mom And Dad Might Relate To (July Edition)
Life as a parent is full of precious moments. There are, of course, all the firsts: the first words, the first steps, and the first days of school. But if we’re completely honest, there’s also that gorgeous first cup of tea you’re finally allowed to enjoy alone on the couch once the house is quietly asleep.
Because if my parent friends have taught me anything, parenting is not for the faint of heart—or anyone particularly fond of sleep. Privacy, it seems, comes at a premium (you might be years away from using the bathroom alone), and you have no choice but to keep up with the seemingly boundless bundle of energy you somehow created—a fact that seems equal parts amazing and baffling when you can barely keep your own eyes open.
But in between all the chaos and exhaustion, there are moments of pure comedy gold. We’re talking about the bizarre questions, the kid logic that somehow makes perfect sense, the completely unfiltered observations, and even the everyday mishaps that might take a little more time to laugh about. And luckily for us, some parents aren’t keeping them to themselves.
This month was no exception, with plenty of parents sharing the funny side of life with kids. So whether you’re negotiating with a tiny human or simply wondering how parents do it, scroll on for some of the month’s funniest parenting tweets.
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#4
Kitty Smith 3 months ago
Now this sounds like the sort of thing women go looking for when trying too find a mom group.
#5
Jeremy Klaxon 3 months ago (edited)
Parents: why don't you want kids?? Kids are FANTASTIC! Also parents:
#6
Panda Bear 3 months ago
I work at a natural history museum. It’s one of the reasons I don’t want kids.
#8
sturmwesen 3 months ago (edited)
boys get to be nurses.. they are gonna marry a doctor if they are lucky. that fancy education is useless./s
#9
Kya Ajiira 3 months ago
I can imagine the kiddo saying to his preschool teacher how he loves eating "sugar mushrooms" and the teacher freaking out haha!
#10
UnclePanda 3 months ago
My friends with twins gave up on the basement carpet and considered it an 18-year wear layer. They replaced that carpet right on schedule.
#12
#16
Kya Ajiira 3 months ago
Usually, when siblings act too nicely and in sync you got to start being scared haha!
#18
BeetlejuiceBeetlejuice 3 months ago
ADHD meds have helped me so much, I’ve been using them for around 3 years!
#19
Ghostchaplain16 3 months ago
On the elevator I said that to my neighbor's daughter (age 3, yawning) and she came over and stomped on my toe in her best "Who asked you!" fashion.
#20
#21
Cindy Brick 3 months ago
Our daughter would make up stuff, and her teachers believed her!! It made for a very awkward parent-teacher meeting, I can tell you.
#22
Inigo Montoya 3 months ago
Wait until they poóp on the potty, you'll be crowing from the rooftops how amazing it is.
#23
Purple light 3 months ago
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me. Hangin' out the passenger side on his best friend's ride. Tryin' to holla at me
#24
Ariana Graen 3 months ago
Mine calls it her “soup costume” 😂 I think Peppa Pig calls it a swim costume or something similar
#26
cecilia kilian 3 months ago
Newborns' systems are adapting to life outside the womb. Newbie brains and bodies are constantly growing, so the way baby reacts to things at this stage can be wildly different from day to day.
#28
Joe Russo 2 months ago
My son had a huge list of instructions for how the sauce was not to touch the spaghetti from age 3.5 to 5. And then one day he told me, "Just put it on top, all together. That's how my friend Nikos eats it." I remember the simultaneous rage and gratitude I felt to this day...
#31
Bill Swallow 3 months ago
Which you will spend worrying yourself sick about exactly *what* your kid is doing being so quiet there...
#32
UnclePanda 3 months ago (edited)
I can still see the baffled look on my mom's face when she found me slow rolling through the house at age 12 chanting, “Ooga chaka, hooga hooga. Ooga chaka, hooga hooga…”
#33
Purple light 3 months ago
Look at the bright side, you you don't have to save money for Harvard for this one
#35
Inigo Montoya 3 months ago
Do what I do, just stop calling the "pants" and start calling them "capris".
#45
#50
Bill Swallow 3 months ago
Oh, that summer we picked over 200 quarts of wild huckleberries and sold them. We had plenty of wild blackberries and strawberries and raspberries. We also had an ice cream freezer...
#52
Bill Swallow 3 months ago
Good on him for actually serving on a jury! I've been called up about five times, never made it onto a panel.
#63
Doug Moyer 3 months ago
The restaurant at the Art Museum in Long Beach, California? Lovely setting, but might be disturbing to the other patrons...
#64
Nadine Debard 3 months ago
I don't know, I did all the studies and I still don't feel like an adult...
#65
Bill Swallow 3 months ago
This knowledge constitutes blackmail material in suburbia. (And the heathen deserves it!)
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PenguinEmp 3 months ago
Poll is a survey of people. Pole is what I give your mom.
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Poll is a survey of people. Pole is what I give your mom.
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