40 Of The Funniest Mom Tweets Ever

That's me!

Oh yeah today I ended world hunger and ate like 32 tacos

Mine could look very critical and give you the side eye

genius

I remember the first time that happened to me and I started panicking that my skin was peeling off and that I was going to be skinless for the rest of my life. My Dad didn’t help when he acted serious about going to the doctor and putting a cast on my hand . 🙃

My siblings and I could never keep our doors locked growing up because all three of us picked the locks! It got to a point where if you really wanted the door to stay shut you had to put something in front of it.

Just received a card that reads, "Good moms drive their kids everywhere... Great moms pick them up again later"

Speak to the manager!

If it's so boring why do you even make yourself going to church?

The only right way to do namaste from now on

That's awesome!

My favorite one is when I finally ask "WHAT!" and they say, "oh, nothing. I was just making sure you could hear me." smh

Mum of 3 here: take the win.

HAHAHAHA

They never listen when you say it nicely, it's only once you scream that they listen.

Don't leave the house anymore,trust me, it's better for you

Well?

Oh what a great way to wake up!

Crazy catz

Crazy catz

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I do that with tractors hahaha

How to cure his delusion? Rent an RV for a week's family holiday! That will put things into perspective for him

And that's Karma. Or something closely related to it

It's heaven

Apparently never

Especially if it's a newborn!

considerate child

I don't think even my toddler would need more than 2 days for that 🫠

Those things work. When I lived in NY used to keep tons near windows

Love the dogs face he hasn't a clue what's going on but is just happy to be involved

He will love it, defo

Fairs fair.

Did I ask to?

Escape while you still can!

What did she break?

I feel her pain!

I would've turned the plate around.

That would make my day....unless it was my child.

Don't forget the BRUSH YOUR TEETH!

“What does IDK stand for?” “I don’t know” “Fine, I’ll ask someone else.”

It's also that moment when you realize tomorrow you're changing their bedtime to an hour earlier.

I would've just ate the m&m to save that hassle, especially if it's a mini plain.

I had one like that, saying "now i'm hungry" after throwing up. 🤮

They must be very sick. I hope they get better!

Don't forget about the gifts once the baby was born 😂

Nah she be spittin mad bars.

Where do we sign up? Like, on a regular basis.

Well I will "meat" you by the window and we can look for Taurus (the bull) and Ursa Major (the bear) constellations tonight.

My mom would sing Metallica songs to put my sister and I to bed

She knows what she's worth!

There would be lots of parents that do this some nights.

It be time to start sleeping with the lights on 😱

That’s actually quite considerate/thoughtful?:)

Mine says signed in as ‘DrunkPony2917’ EDIT: I made it:) EDIT 2: I’m 12:)

I think you only have so much energy for your lifetime and you use up nearly all of it in childhood

Uhhh… wut?

All of those.

Who cares? HE'S ASLEEP!

i should have tried this on my mom. this is smart

I'm always the one who has to finish the chick's food. I got a half-liquid, spit-covered (she has a snotty cold right now) piece of chocolate dumped in my hands today. Even though I love chocolate, that one landed in the bin 🤢

Blackout blinds and curtains for the win!

Give it to the 10 yr old (borrow one if needed). They'll fix it for you.

She's getting onto something

Fair enough

Whoever invented this nightmarish device... I thank you sarcastically

Just today I was watching Family Guy and 9 yr old walked in right when Brian says to Stewie "your Dad is railing your Mom upstairs" and she asked what railing means. Awkward indeed.

The Bluey Mom School episode lmao