Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Jimmy Fallon Invites People To Share The Funniest Things They Heard Kids Say, They Deliver (30 Tweets)
It's well-recorded in history that kids are a source of unpolished gold. From hilarious little sayings, cheeky one-liners, and mischievous observations to anything like unintended puns or solid wisdom nuggets, children are cracking jokes like there’s no tomorrow.
So, when Jimmy Fallon announced his hashtag #KidQuotes challenge on Twitter, there was no question that it would get some darn funny stories. “Parmesan cheese is like glitter for spaghetti” is just one out of many hilarious examples. Sit back and tune in for the most comical tweets below, and don’t forget to upvote your favorites!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago (edited)
I would have peed myself in the pews. That is hilarious!
RELATED:
Jimmy Fallon’s hashtag challenges for The Tonight Show on NBC are among the most popular sketches on the show. Every Thursday, the Brooklyn-born comedian invites the Twitter community to share stories on one of many requested tags—from #MyDumbInjury to #WorstRoadTripEver. He then reads them out loud on the show, making everyone burst into laughter.
But not everyone is impressed by the trend of spelling hashtags out loud. One particular skit by Fallon seven years ago caught the attention of Chris Messina, the founder of the hashtag. During the sketch, Fallon and Justin Timberlake talked about mundane things, "hashtagging" everything until the discussion made little sense. Messina commented that “what Fallon has depicted is actually how teenagers are talking now… and I’m kind of like, ‘Oh God… what have I done?'” Is it really so wrong to have a tiny bit of fun with these nerdy metadata tags? Pandas, tell us what you think in the comments!
#11
What does a Foxxy say? 5 years ago
This is how I am feeling about 2020. This year just needs to f**k right off.
#14
What does a Foxxy say? 5 years ago (edited)
I remember when my daughter was about 6, she had just had a bath and pulled the plug out. I walked away to get something and I could hear her saying “whee, whee, whee”, I went back and she is there sliding backwards and forwards in the slippery bath. I asked her what she was doing and she replied “I’m ice skating.......on my butt”. Omg I cracked up laughing.
#16
#22
What does a Foxxy say? 5 years ago
That’s actually a good way to describe it, better than pins and needles.
#36
#38
#42
#43
Hermione Granger 5 years ago
Whenever someone says: I like how you look without glasses, I always say: I like how you look without my glasses too! Lol, sorry, off topic.
#45
What does a Foxxy say? 5 years ago
There are no muscles in the breast they lie under the breast above the ribs. The breast mainly consists of fatty tissues, lobules and ducts.
#46
Jessica Temple 5 years ago
my son said something similar about my acne when he was about 8... when he was 17 it was my turn to explain the whole, what goes around comes around thing!!
#56
Kali Fugatte 5 years ago
Poor kid was taught at some point that people have to wear make up to look pretty. That sucks.
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Heidi Zimmermann 5 years ago
Our daughter stumbled and hit her foot against the curb last week, her reaction "Ouch! Oh man, that was my favorite foot"
Parmeisan 5 years ago
My all-time favourite was a little kid leaving Science camp. His dad said "How was it?" Kid goes "It was awesome! Except for the explosions. There were no explosions."
TTorrest Author 5 years ago
This happened about 20 years ago and it still makes me laugh: I was in the grocery store when I hear some poor beleaguered mom yell, "ANGELO, PUT THAT EGGPLANT DOWN!" I turned to see a little 3-year-old holding an eggplant over his head, running around the produce section, howling, "WHEEoooohWHEEoooohhhhh!"
Angela Johnston 5 years ago
4 year old son farted in church and yelled " DAD you did it again!"- lots of laughter. My husband turned bright red.
AzKhaleesi 5 years ago
On of my most favorite conversations with one of my kids (although kinda heartbreaking at the time lol) On my 30th Birthday: My then 5 yo: "Mama.... how old is you?" Me: "I'm 30 today baby!" Her: Eyes go wide, "Whaaaat? You should be dead!" Me: .... Thanks kid.... thanks. She is now 13 and I still tease her.
Bob Beltcher 5 years ago
My daughter likes to hide around the house and scare me. Just today she hid behind the master bedroom door and when I walked in she smacked a balloon right past my head. She's 7, I'll be lucky if I live till she graduates.
John Louis 5 years ago
One time a four-year-old named Joshua saw my rather ample stomach and asked me, "John (I am a male) are you going to have a Baby?"
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
Someone gave the little boy a poorly made stuffed toy unicorn. Says he; "Daddy, why he got a pee pee on his head?"
Carolyn Day 5 years ago
This happened about 25years ago , but it still makes me smile... I was heading into Victoria Secrets, my 4year old son looked up at me and said " mom whose Victoria, and what are her secrets ?? " Of course he refused to go inside the store and went to sit by an elderly man who also didn't want to go in... 😂😂
Ralph Spooner 5 years ago
You should see and hear some of the video from the old "Art Linkletter" show when they had the segments called "Kids say the darndest things". He would have a group of kids on the show, interview them and just raise his eyebrows and smile at some of the answers while the audience roared with laughter. YouTube has some of the videos from the show. I am old enough to have watched it live.
Load More Replies...
Hanneke Legerstee 5 years ago
My 7yr old daughter: mum, would you do a singing competition like the X Factor? Me: no, I would be too scared to sing in front of all those people Daughter: good, because you can't sing! Me: i was at a party doing karaoke the other week and people said it was very good Daughter: they were lying! Kids, if you want regular boosts of your self esteem ;)
Anna roberts 5 years ago
My oldest brother, when he was little had a really hard time pronouncing Tr, they came out as Fs. Unfortunately his favorite thing was a truck.....
Tracy Condra 4 years ago
My grandkids were on the trampoline. Ronan comes running to tell me that Whitley said a bad word. I asked her what she said. She says, "I just told him that he was going to fall off the hecking trampoline. And Mimi, you can't tell the little bastard nothing!"
John Louis 5 years ago
This not the time, place, venue, who, what, where, when, why how!
Load More Replies... Heidi Zimmermann 5 years ago
Our daughter stumbled and hit her foot against the curb last week, her reaction "Ouch! Oh man, that was my favorite foot"
Parmeisan 5 years ago
My all-time favourite was a little kid leaving Science camp. His dad said "How was it?" Kid goes "It was awesome! Except for the explosions. There were no explosions."
TTorrest Author 5 years ago
This happened about 20 years ago and it still makes me laugh: I was in the grocery store when I hear some poor beleaguered mom yell, "ANGELO, PUT THAT EGGPLANT DOWN!" I turned to see a little 3-year-old holding an eggplant over his head, running around the produce section, howling, "WHEEoooohWHEEoooohhhhh!"
Angela Johnston 5 years ago
4 year old son farted in church and yelled " DAD you did it again!"- lots of laughter. My husband turned bright red.
AzKhaleesi 5 years ago
On of my most favorite conversations with one of my kids (although kinda heartbreaking at the time lol) On my 30th Birthday: My then 5 yo: "Mama.... how old is you?" Me: "I'm 30 today baby!" Her: Eyes go wide, "Whaaaat? You should be dead!" Me: .... Thanks kid.... thanks. She is now 13 and I still tease her.
Bob Beltcher 5 years ago
My daughter likes to hide around the house and scare me. Just today she hid behind the master bedroom door and when I walked in she smacked a balloon right past my head. She's 7, I'll be lucky if I live till she graduates.
John Louis 5 years ago
One time a four-year-old named Joshua saw my rather ample stomach and asked me, "John (I am a male) are you going to have a Baby?"
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
Someone gave the little boy a poorly made stuffed toy unicorn. Says he; "Daddy, why he got a pee pee on his head?"
Carolyn Day 5 years ago
This happened about 25years ago , but it still makes me smile... I was heading into Victoria Secrets, my 4year old son looked up at me and said " mom whose Victoria, and what are her secrets ?? " Of course he refused to go inside the store and went to sit by an elderly man who also didn't want to go in... 😂😂
Ralph Spooner 5 years ago
You should see and hear some of the video from the old "Art Linkletter" show when they had the segments called "Kids say the darndest things". He would have a group of kids on the show, interview them and just raise his eyebrows and smile at some of the answers while the audience roared with laughter. YouTube has some of the videos from the show. I am old enough to have watched it live.
Load More Replies... Hanneke Legerstee 5 years ago
My 7yr old daughter: mum, would you do a singing competition like the X Factor? Me: no, I would be too scared to sing in front of all those people Daughter: good, because you can't sing! Me: i was at a party doing karaoke the other week and people said it was very good Daughter: they were lying! Kids, if you want regular boosts of your self esteem ;)
Anna roberts 5 years ago
My oldest brother, when he was little had a really hard time pronouncing Tr, they came out as Fs. Unfortunately his favorite thing was a truck.....
Tracy Condra 4 years ago
My grandkids were on the trampoline. Ronan comes running to tell me that Whitley said a bad word. I asked her what she said. She says, "I just told him that he was going to fall off the hecking trampoline. And Mimi, you can't tell the little bastard nothing!"
John Louis 5 years ago
This not the time, place, venue, who, what, where, when, why how!
Load More Replies...
Related on Bored Panda
