43 Photos That Show The Exact Second Regret Kicked In

Interestingly, from a quantitative perspective, you could make the case that people are more likely to regret the things they didn’t do than the things they have done.

For example, according to a survey of 2,000 adults in the United States, the regrets people beat themselves up about the most include “not speaking up” (40%), “not visiting family or friends enough” (36%), and “not pursuing their dreams” (35%).

In their lifetime, Americans average three missed chances to take a once-in-a-lifetime trip, four lost opportunities to ask their crush out, and six instances of not having the perfect comeback in an argument.

On the flip side, the top actions Americans regret doing include “spending money or purchasing something” (49%), “fighting with friends or family” (43%), and “making an unnecessary comment” (36%).

In total, Americans also regret sending an average of five angry text messages and going through two breakups.

In fact, almost one-third (32%) of Baby Boomers have a regret that spans three decades and still crosses their minds an average of three times per month.

Millennials’ oldest regret is only about 11 years old, and they report fretting about it almost once per week—more than any other generation.

The survey also revealed that Americans are almost twice as likely to make bad decisions at night (41%) as they are in the morning (22%).

Nighttime decisions such as “not going to bed at a decent time” (47%), “eating too many snacks or too much food” (36%), and “arguing with a loved one” (35%) are the most likely to bother them the next morning.

For Gen Zers, however, the most common regrets are “failing to do their nighttime routine” (29%) and “forgetting to turn on their alarm” (22%).

The good thing is that almost two-thirds (64%) of respondents believe that their decision-making has gotten better as they’ve gotten older. And that is one of its benefits—teaching.

“Regret informs us of a failure to live up to our ideals, over and above the mistakes we have made,” said clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr. Mary Lamia. “Despite how uncomfortable regrets and unfinished business may feel, they represent internal feedback about our past behavior. The cognitive process, known as counterfactual thinking, has to do with our assessment of an outcome compared to what would have been gained or lost had we made a different decision.

“We mentally simulate other outcomes of past events by considering hypothetical alternatives. Thus, regret may represent an important aspect of our capacity to review our decisions or to assess our behaviors retrospectively. Alternatively, it may exemplify our inclination to pursue counterfactual information for its own sake. Although looking back may not always influence future behavior, it can be a learning experience.”

The key is to review the past without ruminating about the negatives too much because, at a certain point, it can become a dangerous self-enforcing loop. “The more times we run down the same path filled with negative emotion, the more familiar, available, and accessible it may become,” Lamia added.

“Emotions make us care in both positive and negative ways; we care when we are interested or excited and when we are guilty or ashamed. Regret is not indifferent. Thus, our regrets may preserve an emotional attachment to someone or something we have cherished and lost, or to someone or something that we should have avoided in the first place.”

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