40 Posts Roasting The Hell Out Of Florida, As Shared On The “Florida Man” Instagram Page

Extra cudos for wearing crocs

So, Florida man = stupid. Florida girl = Smart

is it weird that i want to go into that water in a yellow submarine or smth

Oi, Pfizer, listen up!

This is my kind of Florida man.

I about snorted my coffee through my nose!

And be wary of any and all freshwater lakes, lagoons, swamps and mud puddles.

84,927 in Florida. Roughly 29.5X 9-11s. Please keep this in mind.

So, incoherent rambling, followed by them trying to put coca on the endangered species list, using a crocodile as a table.

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Owen

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This had me laughing on the toilet like a madman

"Them dang Libruls is tryin' to take away my kick to the head! I ain't gonna stand for that kind of tyranny!!!"

In the extremely unlikely scenario I end up at a bar or club, I will probably end up doing something like this. But I probably won't even ever go to a club, unless it's at the library or in my bedroom.

I'm not sure about that!

It’s an Australian beer. Probably Australia then.

I thought it was hold my beer. I learned something new today.

To the surprise of no one who doesn't live in Florida.

It kinda does,you know.

i could probably bite a waffle into a ninja star

Moving to Cold as F*ck so that I can get a sled dog team

yum cake

Where do you get a car with frozen iguanas?

Thank God for small favors, Florida! An Oregonian here...

Omg! No words.

You sure it wasn’t Crowley? (Really hope someone read/watched Good Omens)

That sucks.

"Salt life" = loving living life near the ocean or sea. Ocean salt/Sea salt- "salt life."

Florida is to the US as the US is to the rest of the world. 😉

Potholes are a scourge everywhere.

That's one monster storm. The water is going to get at least 30 bananas high.

This is true, while living in central FL, folks were insisting they should cancel school cause the temps dropped below 60 degrees

"What do you think, babe? Should we pre-game before we go in?"

that is one of the stupidest things i have ever heard of and when i was nine i thought if you dug a hole through earth you could fall into space

It's not from Florida as that is a crocodile not an alligator. Probably a pic from "down under".

Awwww, dad we love you! I hear he's retiring for good now...

Just askin'.

Isn't September one of the worst seasons for hurricanes?

Please close your mouth. You have nostrils for a reason.

cash yew ousside how bout dat

Look at that cool guy wearing sunglasses indoors…at night.

Is that hair, or does he have a dirt-cloud rising from his shoulders?

You're going to be locked and loaded for a very long time, my friend.

Florida truly is the USA of the USA

Why does it have 3 legs?

Must be a hurricane coming!

Tiger King lol

Setting yourself up for a fall there Nikki.

wow according to this i’m a catch

You forgot Texas

Except those guidelines don't apply to Florida. Didn't you hear the "vaccinated people" part?

Love the place, hate the stupidity

The snow birds come down to Florida.

I guess this is a joke on tires and wheels getting stolen?

I feel sorry for that one palm tree who hasn’t reached his happy place. 😢🤣

It could have been a real gun, but those very strict, oppressive gun laws they have in America prevented it. Ow,wait...

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't this the same guy as in the "people who live in Florida" thing further down? Clarification, I don't mean the president.

And Texas. And Alabama.

monei

Well we know how Florida feels about experts

You may actually get your wish. Just sayin'.

It's that a speed boat?

Didn't think anyone could out trump trump.

what the FÛCK, BP censors.

aaaaand the rockets red glaaaaaare

This again is not something to be proud of

Y'all forgot texahs

Casey Anthony is looking as psychotic as ever.

Given how bad the Disney parks are nowadays, I don't think that's the reason.