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Phones these days should come with a warning, 'Don't drink and text.' Many of us have been there, a few drinks down, high on life but the bar has closed, and you want to continue the party, consequently ending up with a pile of drunk texts and a feeling of shame.
Suddenly your ex, or that girl in the office you have been mildly flirting with and exchanging funny texts with, seems like just the person who would love to join you for one last drink. Tongue out, one eye open, the other squinting with concentration while you jab awkwardly at the screen with your index finger, you marvel at the poetry of a funny drunk text you are capable of when the inhibitions of basic social decency are gone.
If you are lucky, there is no reply to your text message fail, and you fall asleep, to awake the next day with nothing but a hangover and a tinge of embarrassment when you realize what you wrote. Bored Panda has compiled a list of some of these people and others that didn't get quite as lucky. Scroll down to check the funny text messages below!
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#1
Oh Bro...
Misterscooter 8 years ago
And that is the real reason you should keep a paper plate in your car.
Caturday Forgot Her Log-In 3.0 8 years ago
But did they recycle the plate?
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Black Dahlia 8 years ago
Does he keep paper plates in his glove box for his drunken passengers?
RELATED:
#2
You Were So Drunk Last Night
sunnyrei82 8 years ago
Yeah, I think it's fake too. How come he didn't remember the party was at his house?
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#3
Officer In The Uk Sends A Text To A Man He Gave A Ride Home To When He Was Drunk. Even The Police Are Classy Gentlemen Over There
Echo 8 years ago
Naw it's just cause he hadn't charged it from the night before when he passed out on his floor.
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James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
Maybe not drink yourself into the country either. Caring law enforcement though.
Sharon Palmer 8 years ago
Nice to see a police officer with a sense of humour, in this case the toe curling shame and the next day flashbacks of bits and pieces of the night might be more of a lesson learned than a night in the cells!
#4
I'm Drunk
Black Dahlia 8 years ago
Not only would I have given him a ride, I would have shaved his eyebrows and drawn d***s on his face.
Jadey Babey (Music Lover) 7 years ago
this is so weird, LOL. She is a nice friend. Yes you do know when a friend is drunk by their text messages LOL
#5
Gurl U Got Da Wrong Number
#6
Hagrid!!
Laura Sherman 8 years ago
This is beautiful! I don't know what i like more The person finding "RL Hagrid" or the bearded guy going with it and hugging them XD
Zori the degu 8 years ago
I'm not sure if this one is real. I know a version when the drunk person hugs a beggar, thinking he was Dumbledore.
Shauday Smith 8 years ago
by the looks of the interface on this text window... harry potter must have just came out in theaters... seriously, how old is this message if the text bubbles are still in shiny bubble style windows.
#7
Mom Is Happy
Black Dahlia 8 years ago
I think it has more to do with, you know, abortion.
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#8
How Drunk Was I Last Night?
Ehren Thomsen 8 years ago
Of course you cannot brain this. You're too sober to.
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Phoebe Bean 8 years ago
So... the nose won by a nose? That's more exciting than horse racing!!
#9
Drunk Jess
#10
Last Night I Was So Drunk I Replied To My Own Text
#11
There's No Way In Hell I Was That Drunk
partly_Vloger life 6 years ago
If only your dad said "yes." and you and your dad had to star on "Are you the father!" XDDDD
#12
Drunk Text
frederic eeckman 8 years ago
"He tried to pee in a chow mein and is chatting to himself", that's gold :D
Sheena Leversedge Wood 8 years ago
I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand he was trying to p**s in the chow mein
StrangerThings 1983 4 years ago
chow is not spelled like that is ciao not chow =\ but vry funneh
#13
Dating An Idiot
StrangerThings 1983 4 years ago
have you ever like had sumthing in ur hand then lost it 0.2 seconds after...LOL me 2
#14
Apparently I Tried To Log In To My Online Banking When I Was Drunk
#15
Best Friend And A Drunk Me Text
#16
FarmVille FTW
Black Dahlia 8 years ago
Everyone has been getting too many Farmville requests on Facebook.
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#17
Just Got A Drunk Message From My Dad
Reine Watson 6 years ago
You are his little fluff. Don't take the honor lightly. Buy you father a freakin twinkie.
#18
Remind Me Never To Go On Carousell When I'm Drunk And High Ever Again
#19
Liquid Clearly Did Something To Be Last Night. Sorry Boohoo Customer Service
#20
How Not To Drunk Text Your Friends That Like Cats
#21
An Obese Penguin
#22
I Am The Batman
#23
Why Can't I Just Drunk Text Like Normal People?
EvieNiffler 8 years ago
Agree with 'So much pandamonium' in that it's an insult, but where I'm from it's used playfully (without malice) between friends.
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Bobbi Newell 8 years ago
One of the more creative drunk texts, really. This is the kind of silliness my chat group will engage in while sober!
#24
I Love Alcohol
Happy RubberDuckie 7 months ago
me when I forget to take lactaid. (lactose intolerant) me the next day: oh s**t! ONLY AM ON S******G THRONE 24/7! NO ONE SHALL GET A TURN!
Happy RubberDuckie 7 months ago
me when I forget to take lactaid! LOL! I always forget. pov me the next day: NO ONE GETS A TURN ON THE S******G THRONE!!!!!!!!!!
Agnew Dellinger 8 years ago
And 7hrs 36mins later the truth comes out. Hopefully there is a waste bin within reach.
#25
Dealing With Problems Like
James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
I have had to do this before with my ex. On more than one occasion
#26
I Was Trying To Drunk Text My Gf Last Night But Sent It To My Boss Instead
Pragya Fating 8 years ago
I would probably build a pillow fort ND never get out! I m just too shy.
#27
Best Drunk Text Of 2014 Goes To My Wife
Dan Holman 8 years ago
Is someone trying to avoid talking with a drunk? Time to drop certain "friends".
James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
When you can't tell the difference between your camera and your phone icons, it's time to back off a little lol.
#28
Going Through My Messages After A Night Of Drinking
CoCoTheCat Weiss 6 years ago
trfg5ghbrdefc i banged my face on my keyboard cuz this is just so funny
#29
Most People Drunk Text Their Ex Or Someone They Fancy.... Not Me.... What The Actual Fuck Was Going Through My Drunken Mind
S. 8 years ago
Sometimes, you gotta show love to staff at airports. I mean, they deserve love too.
Deathious_22 3 years ago (edited)
I can't drunk text my ex if I don't drink or know where my ex is. Last I heard he was in California but that came from his church pastor cousin who thought god mad a mistake when I was born. But If I did drink it would be stuff like this.
Chocolate Quente e Biscoitos 8 years ago
They didn't answer... :( Well, not everybody can be as cool as Abul I guess xD
#30
May Or May Not Be Drunk At This Moment In Time
CoCoTheCat Weiss 6 years ago
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Amanda Metzger 8 years ago
they say that glow sticks have the magical ability to cure any hangover
Echo 8 years ago
When you are so drunk correctly spelled works just look wrong... Wrong... darn it W R O N G.
Lazy Panda 8 years ago
lol they did actually have small typos the first two times that it looks correct but it cracks me up they felt the need to fix it
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#31
Friend So Drunk, Replied To Himself
CoCoTheCat Weiss 6 years ago
me: Its 3 am and imma text my friend..... me a few minutes later: WHY U NO ANSWERRRRRRRRRRRRRR
#32
Got So Drunk Last Night I Thought I Was Texting My Friend For A Ride, But I Was Just Texting Myself For The Whole Time
Traritraraful 8 years ago
This is the best. Like when you see a cat or a dog meeting his mirror friend. What goes around comes around..
Beatz Girl (Erica) 8 years ago
The person was texting herself so the messages 'bounces' and comes back as a reply.
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Haajrah Alam 8 years ago
I feel like I would be that one friend who would copy that other person's text like that!
#33
Smooth Move Drunk Me...
Stephen Hutchison 8 years ago
DrunkMe seems to have not just replied to their own text, but apologized to themself.
#34
Crap
Meowton Mewsk 8 years ago
All of these are pretty much. And not even funny.
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#35
This Unfortunate Soul
Jeeves 8 years ago
Hello I reckon anyone with braces has listened to enough orthodontists banging on about teeth roots and s**t but I've remembered some. The roots of the teeth rip up the gums. Gums have blood in them. So it can look like your teeth are bleeding
Load More Replies... John James 8 years ago
Ouch I’ve done that before it hurts more than face planting into a hard wood floor
#36
I Was Rudely Awaken From My Sleep By Drunk Text Messages From The Undergrad I Supervise In My Lab... Let's Just Say Mario Cart Saved Her Ass
Jo Murphy 8 years ago
Torturing mice is what they do in labs. She did mean torturing the mice. Maybe that's why she's drunk. Cognitive dissonance is getting to her.
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Dana Kessler 8 years ago
She's actually trying to say she sat through the movie Totoro for the adorable little animated mice part.
Saima Nisbet 8 years ago
You mean you hope the person on the left is black since they're the one who used the n word and can use it whenever they feel like and in whatever context they wish.
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#37
My Drunk Friend
#38
Going To FBI
Haajrah Alam 8 years ago
I'm a Middle Earth fan but then when the texter mentions elves I think of Santa. I feel like I have been lied to all my life.
Agnew Dellinger 8 years ago
Isn't alcohol illegal in Middle Earth? Asking for a friend.
Load More Replies... #39
Free Queso
Echo 8 years ago
For a robot it is very hard to understand. They do seem to take credit cards, account numbers, passwords really well though.
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What do you think ?
İdil 8 years ago
These "Dude you were so drunk ..." texts are so 2010. I've seen them all in different platforms years ago, since almost each of them are fake, they don't feel so funny. Here comes my downvotes.
Hayley Lightcap 8 years ago
Yeesssss, I haven't even read it yet but I love these things they're so funny!
Bear Trapp 8 years ago
Most of these are painfully obviously fake. You are better than this, Bored Panda.
Marion Friedl 8 years ago
WHO CARES??? They´re freaking hilarious and funny, you don´t seem to have any humor, what a pity....
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Elizabeth Terry 8 years ago
My sister drunk called me with one of her friends. She kept introducing herself and asking if I was, indeed, Elizabeth Terry. There was also some weird stuff about a snowman.
Joyce Brown 2 years ago
I'm so proud and happy to be out here sharing your work Dr. Ogun. I just can't believe that now my ex Husband really came back to me on his knees presenting a ruby rose begging me to take him back and he was feeling regretful and sorry for leaving me and for causing me pains after the divorce which occurred last year. And this whole miracle happened after i ordered an urgent 24hours Dr. Ogun powerful spell which he cast on me and my husband. oguncure1010@gmail.com or whatsapp +2348109506451 Sir I am the happiest woman today. Dr. Ogun you really did it..Yes.. can get to me for more information +14312444499 whatsapp https://www.facebook.com/Dr-OGUN-101126394861404/
Carter Reel 7 years ago
My sister was so drunk one time she just sat in her bed singing the Hannah Montana theme song for 45 m straight then laughed for 1h straight.Then we couldn’t handle her and left her there we came in 20m later and she was upside down on her desk spinning in circles Singing GeNovia’s National anthem so....... I Relate
Michelle Warne 8 years ago
Thank you so much. I was so depressed with no family over the holidays, but these really cheer me up.
İdil 8 years ago
These "Dude you were so drunk ..." texts are so 2010. I've seen them all in different platforms years ago, since almost each of them are fake, they don't feel so funny. Here comes my downvotes.
Hayley Lightcap 8 years ago
Yeesssss, I haven't even read it yet but I love these things they're so funny!
Bear Trapp 8 years ago
Most of these are painfully obviously fake. You are better than this, Bored Panda.
Marion Friedl 8 years ago
WHO CARES??? They´re freaking hilarious and funny, you don´t seem to have any humor, what a pity....
Load More Replies... Elizabeth Terry 8 years ago
My sister drunk called me with one of her friends. She kept introducing herself and asking if I was, indeed, Elizabeth Terry. There was also some weird stuff about a snowman.
Joyce Brown 2 years ago
I'm so proud and happy to be out here sharing your work Dr. Ogun. I just can't believe that now my ex Husband really came back to me on his knees presenting a ruby rose begging me to take him back and he was feeling regretful and sorry for leaving me and for causing me pains after the divorce which occurred last year. And this whole miracle happened after i ordered an urgent 24hours Dr. Ogun powerful spell which he cast on me and my husband. oguncure1010@gmail.com or whatsapp +2348109506451 Sir I am the happiest woman today. Dr. Ogun you really did it..Yes.. can get to me for more information +14312444499 whatsapp https://www.facebook.com/Dr-OGUN-101126394861404/
Carter Reel 7 years ago
My sister was so drunk one time she just sat in her bed singing the Hannah Montana theme song for 45 m straight then laughed for 1h straight.Then we couldn’t handle her and left her there we came in 20m later and she was upside down on her desk spinning in circles Singing GeNovia’s National anthem so....... I Relate
Michelle Warne 8 years ago
Thank you so much. I was so depressed with no family over the holidays, but these really cheer me up.
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