If Your Friendships Feel Strained Lately, Here’s What Might Be Going On, And How To Stay Close

There was a time when seeing your closest friends barely required planning. Someone would text “What are you doing tonight?” and, a few hours later, everyone would be sitting around the same table, giggling and having a good time. You knew who was always up for a late-night call to vent, who would never say no to a last-minute plan, and whose house you could sleep over at without any heads-up.

Then adulthood started handing everyone different schedules. One friend got married, another had a baby, someone stopped drinking, someone became obsessed with running, and another started going to bed at 9 p.m.

Now, when the things that once brought friends together start disappearing, the friendship might be a little harder to maintain. There may still be plenty of love, history, and affection, but finding the time or an activity that works for both people can be difficult.

This is where the so-called “wellness gap” gets interesting. The question isn’t whether friends need to live the same way to stay close. It’s what happens when your lives start moving in different directions, and how you can find new ways to make the friendship work anyway.