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41 Moments In Which It Suddenly Occurred That People’s Friends Actually Hated Them
You will have to be a mind reader to recognize a disingenuous friendship. The person can laugh with you, hang out, and call themselves your “bestie” while also resenting you behind your back. Oftentimes, the hostility is never obvious.
These people seem to have learned that lesson the hard way, as they share their experiences in a recent Threads post. Their stories still carry some pain and regret because, as those who’ve been through it may know, the sting of betrayal tends to linger.
If you’ve gone through similar ordeals, feel free to share them in the comments below.
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#1
When I was trying to get healthy and lose weight and she kept telling me that how I look so bad/ ugly after weight loss. I had to give up alcohol because of fatty liver issues and she would force me to drink and would get upset if I didnt. Eventually I had to let her go.
Brazen 1 month ago
I had a "friend" that used to buy me anywhere between 5 and 10 chocolate bars a day and leave them at my work station when she knew I was trying to diet. I just gave them to another co-worker that had kids. Never told her I did that and just figured she deserved to waste her money for being so petty. lol
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#2
When everyone in the friend group knew my boyfriend was cheating with another girl out of the group and they said it was something I needed to find out on my own so no one told me.
#3
When we'd go out, I'd play wingman and talk to guys and introduce them to her. Often, they'd ask for my number and I noticed her whole attitude would change afterwards. And then she was drunk one night and said I was her "duff" and laughed in my face.
I realized then I wasn't her friend, I was her competition. That ended a 30 year friendship.
#4
When she got engaged I asked her when the wedding was literally every month. She would tell me she hadn’t picked a date. Then one day (appx a week after the last time asking her ) I see a few mutual friends in Vegas for her BACHELORETTE PARTY with her. Her wedding was the following week. This was someone I considered to be one of my closest friends. She was gonna be in MY wedding. I still have no clue why she did this.
#5
When I spent 17 days in the hospital after my appendix burst and went septic. A couple of close friends who knew how serious it was never texted, called, or checked in. That told me everything I needed to know.
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 month ago (edited)
My own family has a tendency to avoid visiting people in the hospital. Including me. Several times I’ve been in the hospital fighting for my life and they haven’t shown up once. They do call and text, but because they are the type of people that don’t like visitors when they are sick, they assume that’s everyone. If I was not so completely out of it from the health issues, I’d chew them out. Because I do like visitors because it takes my mind off how close am I to d***h. But, I’m finally getting that message across. And during my last hospital stay, they finally visited. And were appalled at how poorly I was being treated and spoken to. So now they have a plan in place to make sure I get visitors so it never happens again.
#6
I had a “friend” that told me that I shouldn’t leave my job at the company we worked at together to get a 20K pay increase. Girl, what!
#7
Whenever I’d bring someone over she would tell the most embarrassing stories about me to them.
#8
We were hanging out just chit chatting; it was like 3 couples including my husband and I. We were joking about things we’d add to our homes & I said, “ooh a bookshelf with a wheeled ladder!” Excitedly. This jerk looked at me like I was stupid & said, “calm down belle wannabe!” I knew. And what solidified it was when she minimized my job as a cake decorator cause in her words, that job wasn’t going anywhere innovative. As if cake decorators can’t be creative & make amazing cakes.
#9
After I got married, she (one of my bridesmaids) said she thought my husband only married me because I was light skin and she felt that was the only reason I got married before her. We are celebrating 13 years next month. She’s still single.
#10
Ugh. When I wouldn’t break Covid lockdown rules for her and she told me never to contact her again. Fine. We’ve since moved. No landline. She doesn’t know our address and her mobile is blocked. Made me realise how narcissistic she was.
#11
When I asked them for support after my father passed away and they said I was “looking for a pity party”.
#12
When they accidentally sent me a chat message meant for someone else admitting to hating me.
#13
My bestie turned into an enemy after 16 years. We were like sisters and even worked together, but I kept catching her talking so much trash about me especially when she didn't get her way. It was always a guilt trip from hell and it was a lot of emotional manipulation because I was a doormat. It took me a long time to actually stand up to her, but I did. Apparently my boundaries made me "fake" because she got too used to me being a pushover. I cut her off 4 years ago and never spoke to her again.
#14
When I told her I didn't want to be her friend anymore. She started bringing up stuff that I had done in my life without her and just ranting about stupid stuff. Then she insisted that we would always be friends. Needless to say I have a restraining order on this crazy chick and I carry my pistol for just in case.
#15
I started losing weight and my “friend” told me I couldn’t lose more weight than her so she went and had surgery. After her surgery she said “Ok big girl. When you gone lose some more weight?” Mind you, she’s always been bigger than me.
#16
Back in 2013, when I was pregnant with my daughter. She told me she’d help throw my baby shower. The day before, I couldn’t reach her. She had blocked me on everything and left me high and dry. I never spoke to her again, figured her jealousy of my relationship (that I am STILL in) was too much for her. Ahh, well.
All Things Vibes 1 month ago
An ex friend got angry when I told her I was pregnant with my third child. Instead of congratulating me, she started complaining that she hadn't even gotten married and now I was having another baby. She went on about how bad she was feeling since she didn't even have a boyfriend. I had a miscarriage before. It was devastating. I was depressed for a long time, and my youngest daughter even used to say I wasn't her mom. That is how bad it got. So when I got pregnant again, it wasn't planned. My husband and I were using birth control, but it happened. I was already over 40 and high risk. I had to go to check ups every two weeks and had many tests to rule out syndromes. I cried almost every day because I was so scared of losing that baby or finding out something was wrong. She knew all of that. Still, she has never asked how my baby is, what their name is, or anything related to my precious child. She is not my friend anymore but just someone that I used to know, I guess.
#17
After I made several attempts to hangout and they cited me being recently married as the reason we don’t spend time together rather than the fact that they simply did not follow through with the plans I attempted to make. But then proceeded to ask for favors including having me and my wife watch their child for a week.
#18
She found out who my crush was (she had never met him) and immediately started messaging him. Its been 20 years. I'm still besties with him. She's apparently still trying to sleep with him.
#19
When they abandoned me and another friend in a forest in the mountains for hours.
#20
When she gained weight, and had trouble shopping for clothes. She told me that her first thought was, “So, this is how it feels to be Molly.” (I’m Molly.)
#21
When we both got degrees and she said “well I actually went and sat in class” My degree was online.
#22
When no one congratulated me on buying my first home nor did they ever visit.
Alexia 1 month ago (edited)
That's my family (mother, father and brother - their golden child, who is still living with them at 41). Not a word of congratulations. They did visit, but only to insult me: "your furniture is old and ugly, you don't have a TV, you haven't cleaned properly in that spot" etc.
#23
When she asked me who I had a crush on, I told her and she then proceeded to say "how do you spell his last name?" And then typed him into Facebook, added him, slept with him and spent the whole relationship with him wearing my clothes and mimicking my personality:).
#24
When she would use our disagreements as her loophole to insult me and say how she really felt about me.
#25
They are quick to befriend people I’m no longer friends with.
Problematic Pangolin 1 month ago
Fast friends make fast enemies. Always be wary of anyone who wants to be "besties" when you first meet them.
#26
When they would never celebrate the highs but were always there for the lows to feed off of my suffering.
#27
when i got invited to a girls trip to be excluded. got my own hotel and everything.
Nizumi 1 month ago
oof - Been there. Actually selected a place big enough for all of us. Made the suggestion to everyone. Queen B said, "Ugh no thank you" So I went and found a smaller place for myself. And then found out Queen B snagged my suggestion for herself so she could host all the gatherings at her convenience. Same thing on another trip - I tried to coordinate just what part of the city they were staying in. Paris FFS - just what arrondissement are you in?! Ugh - We haven't decided yet. yes you f*****g did - you all arranged to be in the same neighbourhood in the 5th and I was left to go off into the 18th. Don't see them any more. Gatekeeping bougie snobs.
#28
When she conveniently started missing important milestones in my life, hours late to my baby shower, missed my engagement, no call no show at birthday dinners, no acknowledgment when business would succeed. Real weird behavior.
#29
When they told me I didn’t need to go back to school to get to where I wanted to be in life. When they said my freckles were actually scars from shingles and not freckles. They got mad at me for not drinking mimosas early in my pregnancy.
#30
When my husband and I first got together, we moved into my dream condo. She told me it was little & she’s seen better. It was a three bedroom, three bath, floor to ceiling windows & a 30 foot long wraparound balcony overlooking downtown Las Olas ……
#31
Whenever I tried to vent she looked uninterested and only responded with her own personal vent session and never acknowledged what I said.
#32
My dad passed away and she sent a text. That was 5.5 months ago and we haven’t spoken. We were friends for over 20 years.
#33
I had her as maid of honor&she tried to ruin my wedding. I dropped her from wedding party because her baby daddy was making it to where she couldn't participate&he even sent her dress back.She reordered the dress&was having it delivered to my house but when I dropped her from the party, she demanded I pay her for the dress she bought&that I can keep the dress when it arrives to my house but I called the store & was informed she received a full refund 3 days prior while still demanding $140.
#34
One evening at a lounge with friends, I wasn’t feeling talkative but I got out anyway.
I was reading an ebook on my phone, still taking shots with the group. There were some guys that invited themselves over, after while one says “Hey! Anti-social can I buy you a drink?” I said sure. He got up, moved next to me to claim his seat before ordering a bottle.
She yelled “The only reason why you won is because you’re light skinned!”
Naturally, I was able to see the other slights after this.
#35
Lost family members, was exhausted from grief and didn’t have capacity to meet her for lunch. When I told her I didn’t feel safe based on how she was responding she made it about her. Total lack of empathy.
KatSaidThat 1 month ago
Lost 3 people in 4 months in 2024, was supposed to go to Brighton for my own birthday weekend, felt overwhelmed and cancelled. That was the beginning of the end as the response was "ok." It was also the biggest eye opener as to how much behaviour I had been letting pass.
#36
I invited her to my bachelorette party (nothing big, just family at home doing games) she didn't come, invited her, her mom and her brother to my wedding and she uninvited her family and went in jeans. When I invited her to my new home she criticized everything I did. At my babyshower she didn't wanted to interact and wanted that I just sat down with her the whole evening. That's when I decided to stop the "friendship".
#37
When I told her I was worried about her mental health, she agreed and then the next day texted me and told me I attacked her.
#38
When I always made sure she was okay when she got too drunk but, she never did the same for me.
#39
I told a girl her bf cheated on her and showed proof. She hated me since that day n blamed me. Im like i didnt think youd care you spent the past two months flirting with a new guy… but w.e. She just wanted someone to blame.
#40
Putting their significant other before our friendship and then getting jealous of my lifestyle people are weird.
#41
I was blindsided and felt used but… In the middle of planning their wedding for free, I was like, “WTH?” On a flight home, I sat in first class, and she didn’t. The daggers she gave me were the sign. Mind you… the flight was paid for by me for a wedding planning session for them. Never felt any gratitude or appreciation from them. The streets told me she was jealous. Jealous because I blessed you? Make it make sense.
What do you think ?
Fungus John 1 month ago
Notice how with every single entry that mentions the genders it's women being awful? Interesting.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
What is it exactly you're trying to say, John? :D No need to be euphemistic; go ahead and use your words and say what you're thinking!
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Fungus John 1 month ago
Notice how with every single entry that mentions the genders it's women being awful? Interesting.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
What is it exactly you're trying to say, John? :D No need to be euphemistic; go ahead and use your words and say what you're thinking!
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