Woman Cuts Off Friends Who Exclude Her From Vacations And Say “It’s Not Their Job”

The friends we surround ourselves with greatly influence our lives, and not always for the better. Unfortunately, this can take quite a bit of time to realize, and even then, we’re faced with the dilemma of whether to try and fix things or finally stop the friendship.

This woman went with the latter, after the last straw, which was her friends once again excluding her from their trip. While it might have been hard, netizens comforted her, saying that it was the right thing to do. 

Not all friendships improve our lives

Woman at airport with luggage looking upset, reflecting feeling of being excluded by friends on trips and travel plans.

Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)

This woman’s didn’t either so she decided to cut them off

Screenshot of a Reddit post discussing a woman telling friends she is not a hotel after they exclude her from trips.

Text excerpt from a woman explaining feeling excluded by friends during trips and saying she is not a hotel.

Text excerpt about woman feeling excluded by friends on trips, expressing she is not a hotel, highlighting travel and friendship issues.

Text excerpt from a woman explaining how friends barely include her in their trips after moving abroad.

Text excerpt showing a woman explaining feeling excluded by friends on trips and hurt by travel plans.

Two women with backpacks sit in a station, one showing the other something on her phone, highlighting travel and friendship moments.

Image credits: pexels (not the actual photo)

Text describing a woman feeling excluded by friends during trips, expressing frustration about being treated like a hotel.

Text excerpt about a woman feeling excluded by friends on trips and expressing frustration about not being included.

Woman expresses frustration after friends barely include her in their trips and treat her like a hotel.

Text excerpt reading about a woman telling friends she is not a hotel after feeling excluded from trips and invitations.

Text excerpt describing a woman feeling excluded by friends during trips, expressing frustration about friendship neglect.

Image credits: Top_Acanthaceae_9714

“It’s easy to mistake proximity for true friendship”

Young woman looking upset and distant while two friends whisper and laugh in the background during a trip outdoors

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

To distinguish good and genuine friends from not-so-good ones or even bad or fake ones nowadays is getting harder and harder. And it all might be thanks to the invention of the Internet. 

“In today’s world of social media and surface-level connections, it’s easy to mistake proximity for true friendship,” Kristin M. Papa, licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and founder of Living Open Hearted, previously told Bored Panda.

One of the signs that your friendship might be inauthentic is one-sidedness. An ingenuine friend doesn’t have your best interests at heart, shows little interest in others’ needs, can’t be compromised with, and doesn’t make the effort to foster a closer bond. 

“Many times a fake friendship feels one-sided and you don’t feel that the relationship is reciprocal,” says Papa. “It may be that the person only reaches out when they need something. Most people know what it feels like to have a friend with whom there is a trust connection. However, a fake friendship often feels surface-level or transactional. In addition, interactions with this person leave you feeling anxious, drained, or insecure after you’ve interacted with them.”

If a person feels this way after communicating with a friend, they should assess whether it’s worth continuing the relationship. “Ultimately, if the friendship is harming your well-being and doesn’t feel like it’s serving you, it can be beneficial to distance yourself or have an honest conversation with the person to help you move forward,” Papa suggests.

“We’re bound to outgrow certain friendships”

Two women sitting apart on a couch, looking upset, illustrating a woman telling friends she is not a hotel after trips.

Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)

Sometimes friends distance themselves from each other without necessarily causing harm to each other, too. Many relationships in our lives have a natural life cycle. As we continue to grow and change, we can gradually drift away from people we once dearly cared about. 

“As we gain a stronger sense of self, what used to matter no longer does, and we’re bound to outgrow certain friendships,” says psychotherapist Dr. Florence Falk. “Once you’re aware of that, without being cruel or feeling guilt-ridden, you can begin to let go of relationships that no longer nourish your most authentic self.”

A lot of friends drift away and ghost each other and there’s really nothing that can be done about that. In fact, one study found that 38.6% of people have been ghosted by a friend. 

Whether you distanced yourself from a harmful relationship or you just grew apart, losing a friendship can be hard in both scenarios. Some even say that friendship breakups are as bad as or even worse than romantic ones. What can help get over a friendship breakup is accepting the negative feelings that come with it and turning to your other relationships that you can rely on. 

“Allow yourself to feel that grief and worry, but then allow it to inform your choices as you move forward into other relationships,” says Kaitlin Flannery, an associate professor in psychology.

“Friendships are important, close relationships, so I think that we should give ourselves grace in understanding that a loss of a friendship is going to be hard. My advice would be to turn to your other relationships, and hopefully, you have other friends that you also value and can rely on,” says Grace Vieth, a researcher in social psychology studying friendship dissolution.

The woman shared more details about the situation in the comments

Reddit conversation discussing a woman telling friends she is not a hotel after being excluded from trips.

Reddit thread discussing a Woman tells friends I’m not a hotel after being excluded from trips frustration.

Screenshot of a conversation discussing a woman addressing friends who barely include her in their trips.

Online discussion about a woman telling friends she’s not a hotel after being excluded from their trips.

Text excerpt from woman telling friends she’s not a hotel after they barely include her in trips discussion.

Commenters were very divided, with some saying no one was in the wrong here

Woman tells friends she is not a hotel after being barely included in their trips, expressing hurt and boundaries frustration.

Some sided with the original poster

Forum discussion about woman telling friends she is not a hotel after being barely included in trips and plans.

Text post discussing a woman telling friends she is not a hotel after being excluded from their trips repeatedly.

Screenshot of a social media comment expressing feelings about unfair treatment by friends during trips and outings.

Screenshot of a user comment supporting a woman feeling excluded by friends on trips, highlighting friendship and inclusion issues.

Screenshot of an online discussion where a woman expresses frustration about friends barely including her in trips.

Screenshot of an online comment advising a woman on friends treating her like a hotel and excluding her from trips.

While others believed that everyone in this situation wasn’t communicating well enough

Screenshot of Reddit comment discussing friendship communication and feeling excluded from group trips, addressing woman not being a hotel.

And some thought it was the OP who did the wrong thing

Text conversation discussing a woman’s travel conflicts with friends and feeling excluded from trips and plans.

Screenshot of Reddit comment discussing challenges of long distance relationships and feeling like not included in friends’ trips.

Screenshot of Reddit comment discussing a woman telling friends she’s not a hotel after being excluded from trips.

Text post discussing feelings of being excluded from friends' trips and not being treated like a hotel by close friends.

Screenshot of a forum comment where a user advises stopping inviting yourself on others’ trips, related to woman not being a hotel.

Comment discussing a woman feeling excluded by friends during trips, saying she is not a hotel.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman telling friends she is not a hotel after being excluded on trips.

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