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Mom Uses Friend As Free Childcare, Then Melts Down When They Contact Her Emergency Person
Young woman covering her mouth in shock while holding a phone, illustrating babysit and help call stress.

Mom Uses Friend As Free Childcare, Then Melts Down When They Contact Her Emergency Person

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While it’s best to not think of one’s friends as free labor, it’s still nice to have someone to help out every now and then. However, some folks get the unfortunate idea that because someone is their friend, they can really ask them to do anything, without limits.

A “twenty minute” babysitting favor ended up sparking drama. A netizen asked the internet if they were wrong to call their friend’s emergency contact number after being left with her kid for hours, with no end in sight. We reached out to the person who made the post via private message and will update the article when they get back to us.

RELATED:

    Looking after a friend’s child is a normal favor

    Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels (not the actual photo)

    But one woman decided to ghost her friend who was babysitting for hours

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    Image credits: benzoix/Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: QuietDailyRitual

    Friends aren’t just free labor

    Image credits: Mental Health America (MHA)/Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    We have all been there: a friend asks for a “quick favor,” and suddenly your entire Saturday is held hostage by a request that mutated from a twenty-minute errand into a three-hour saga. In the world of social psychology, this is often the starting point for a breakdown in Social Exchange Theory, which suggests that our relationships are essentially built on a subconscious ledger of costs and rewards. When the narrator in this viral story agreed to watch their friend Kayla’s six-year-old for twenty minutes, they were offering a low-cost favor in the spirit of friendship.

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    However, when Kayla disappeared for hours and turned off her phone to go look at a car with a new date, the “cost” shifted from a minor inconvenience to a full-scale emotional hijacking. This isn’t just a case of a friend being “flaky”, it is a calculated use of a common door-to-door sales tactic, the foot-in-the-door technique, where a person secures a small commitment to ensure they can force a much larger, more intrusive one later. Kayla admitted she lied because she knew the narrator would have said no to the truth, which is the ultimate betrayal of the relational transparency required to keep a friendship actually a friendship.

    Without legal guardianship or medical power of attorney, a temporary sitter is in a terrifying limbo if the child gets hurt or needs help. Research into perceived partner responsiveness shows that we value our friends based on how much we believe they have our best interests at heart. By ghosting the narrator, Kayla effectively signaled that her date was more important than the narrator’s time, their plans, and even the peace of mind of her own child. Calling the emergency contact, Kayla’s sister, wasn’t an act of “snitching,” but a standard safety procedure. If a parent is unreachable, the emergency contact is the designated “next in line” to ensure the safety of the minor.

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    Kayla’s reaction was borderline toxic

    Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels (not the actual photo)

    The real fireworks began when Kayla finally resurfaced. Instead of offering an apology, she launched into a classic defensive maneuver, with a 60s sci fi robot’s name, DARVO: Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. She denied she did anything wrong by claiming her phone died, attacked the narrator for being “dramatic,” and reversed the roles by claiming she was the victim of “humiliation.” This type of deflection is a common trait in individuals who struggle with accountability.

    By telling mutual friends that the narrator “overreacted,” Kayla is engaging in social triangulation, trying to shore up her own reputation by painting the narrator as the villain. However, research on prosocial behavior suggests that we are wired to help others, but only when we feel the request is honest. Once a “helper” realizes they were manipulated through a lie, the trust is often permanently severed.

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    It is important to remember that a “favor” given under false pretenses isn’t a favor at all, it’s coercive persuasion. If someone has to lie to get you to say yes, they are not respecting your autonomy or your friendship, they are treating you as a tool. The narrator’s decision to involve the sister was the only logical path to ensuring the child was returned to family care while the primary guardian was MIA. In the long run, friendships thrive on equity and reciprocity. If one person is always the “giver” and the other is a “taker” who uses deception to get their way, the relationship isn’t a bond, it’s a burden. The narrator isn’t being dramatic, they are setting a firm boundary against being used as an unpaid, unappreciated, and lied-to “drop-off zone.”

    Most readers thought the babysitter did the right thing

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    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Read less »
    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    What do you think ?
    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's lucky there was an emergency contact, I would have called the police. W*F are some people thinking? Yes bad mom and horrible "friend"

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are we seeing a rash of posts about people abandoning their kids?! When did this start? I remember my mom failing to pick me up from school ONCE (she’d forgotten it was her week to pick us up) and barely lived it down as it became a joke about her “forgetting” her kid. It was a HUGE deal! Seems it’s a thing now to drop your kid off and go do whatever the hell you want nowadays. Yuck!

    Load More Replies...
    Deborah B
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This "friend" deliberately lied and placed the babysitter in a bind. They were lucky it was a call to their sister, and not a call to report child abandonment or a missing person. It's not just a sucky thing to do to a friend who's helping you, it's cruel to the child.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Erm made her look like a bad mom NOPE THAT WOULD BE THE MOM AS DID THAT , lying to her so called mate , to be with a bloke , what a S K a n k !, and add to that dropping a 6 yr old off with A F KIN TABLET 🤬🤬way way to young to be sat with that constantly ,she’s a lazy mother with loose morals end off , op NTA the mother huge huge a s s hole !

    Load More Comments
    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's lucky there was an emergency contact, I would have called the police. W*F are some people thinking? Yes bad mom and horrible "friend"

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are we seeing a rash of posts about people abandoning their kids?! When did this start? I remember my mom failing to pick me up from school ONCE (she’d forgotten it was her week to pick us up) and barely lived it down as it became a joke about her “forgetting” her kid. It was a HUGE deal! Seems it’s a thing now to drop your kid off and go do whatever the hell you want nowadays. Yuck!

    Load More Replies...
    Deborah B
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This "friend" deliberately lied and placed the babysitter in a bind. They were lucky it was a call to their sister, and not a call to report child abandonment or a missing person. It's not just a sucky thing to do to a friend who's helping you, it's cruel to the child.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Erm made her look like a bad mom NOPE THAT WOULD BE THE MOM AS DID THAT , lying to her so called mate , to be with a bloke , what a S K a n k !, and add to that dropping a 6 yr old off with A F KIN TABLET 🤬🤬way way to young to be sat with that constantly ,she’s a lazy mother with loose morals end off , op NTA the mother huge huge a s s hole !

    Load More Comments
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