Woman Flips Out When Friend Can’t Come To Her Birthday Because Of A Chemotherapy Session

One of the duties of being a BFF is showing up to support your partner in crime on their very best and worst days. Whether they’re getting married or crying into a tub of ice cream after an unexpected breakup, they’ll need you to be there to lend a hand, dry their tears and do everything that they’d happily do for you.

Unfortunately, there will sometimes be extenuating circumstances that make it impossible for friends to be on call. But does that mean the entire relationship should be thrown away? One woman was recently called selfish for skipping her best friend’s birthday for health reasons. Below, you’ll find the post she made on Reddit detailing the situation, as well as some of the replies readers shared.

This woman has been undergoing chemotherapy to treat lupus

Person receiving chemo treatment, resting on a pillow, wearing a plaid shirt.

Image credits:  Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

But her best friend didn’t think that was a valid excuse for missing her birthday party

Text exchange about missing a friend's 25th birthday due to personal reasons.

Text discussing undergoing chemo for lupus treatment.

Text message about missing a birthday due to chemo, mentions ordering a cake from a local bakery.

Birthday cake with pink icing and raspberries, celebrating a special 25th birthday occasion.

Image credits: Patrycja Jadach / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text conversation about missing a birthday due to rescheduled chemo session.

Here’s the conversation the two women had

Text exchange about missing a birthday due to rescheduled chemotherapy.

Text messages discussing a friend's birthday and conflicting appointment.

Text exchange discussing chemo appointment and missing a birthday event.

Text exchange about missing a 25th birthday due to chemo, highlighting disagreement.

Text message conversation about missing a 25th birthday due to chemo recovery.

Group text exchange about missing a birthday due to chemo, questioning friend's understanding.

Text message exchange about missing birthday with thumbs-up emoji, highlighting a friend's reaction.

Image credits: superspreader90

Later, the author shared a bit more background information about the friendship

Online discussion about missing a birthday due to chemo.

Lupus is an autoimmune disease that can cause extreme fatigue and joint pain

It’s not easy to find a best friend. And it can be even harder to keep one around for over a decade. But when you meet someone that you really mesh with, you’ll never want to let them go. The Survey Center on American Life reports that 59% of Americans have a best friend, and two thirds say they are still close with at least one friend from childhood. 

Women are nearly twice as likely as men to say that they have received emotional support from their friends in the past week, and about half have told a friend that they love them in the past week as well.

So what does it really mean to be a good friend? According to BetterUp, the qualities of a great friend include being trustworthy, honest, loyal, dependable and empathetic. They should also be a good listener and make you feel better after spending time with them. 

True friends aren’t judgmental and are low-maintenance. They should always respect boundaries, encourage you and make time for you. Great friends are communicative, patient, supportive, kind and will always have your back and stand up for you.

But a healthy friendship must go both ways. It’s not fair for the woman described in this story to expect her friend to drop everything for her birthday, while she refuses to show any empathy towards her supposed “best friend’s” health problems.

Lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease that mainly impacts a person’s skin, joints and internal organs. There are several different types, but the vast majority of people diagnosed with lupus, 9 out of 10 people to be exact, are women. Symptoms can vary widely, but they often include intense fatigue, joint pain and a butterfly rash.

Patients should prioritize taking care of their health after undergoing chemo

Woman feeling unwell, wrapped in a white blanket, lying on a couch, representing challenges during chemotherapy.

Image credits:  Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

While chemotherapy is often associated with treating cancer, Medical News Today reports that it’s sometimes used to treat lupus as well. It works by weakening and suppressing the immune system, therefore preventing it from attacking a patient’s healthy cells and tissues. However, there are potential side effects.

The drugs used in chemo for lupus may include methotrexate, belimumab, mycophenolate mofetil and cyclophosphamide. Some of the side effects that these drugs might cause in patients are nausea, headaches, diarrhea, dizziness, upset stomach, vomiting, bladder problems, liver damage and respiratory symptoms.

After receiving chemotherapy treatment, the Advanced Cancer Treatment Centers notes that it’s important for patients to take good care of themselves. They recommend eating healthy, staying hydrated, exercising regularly, getting plenty of rest, practicing stress relieving techniques and practicing good hygiene. 

At the same time, they discourage patients from over-exerting themselves and neglecting self-care and healthy habits. There’s no doubt that attending a friend’s birthday party could be lots of fun, and it’s important to maintain relationships with loved ones while struggling with health issues. But in this author’s case, going out all night partying could be extremely detrimental to her health. 

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation below, pandas. Do you think this woman was overreacting? Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing birthday drama right here. 

Readers were appalled by the friend’s behavior and assured the author that she shouldn’t feel guilty about missing the party

Comment discussing a friend's reaction to missing a birthday due to chemo, suggesting to cut ties with a fake friend.

Comment discussing a friend's selfish behavior regarding birthday vs. chemo priorities.

Reddit comment criticizing a friend's reaction to chemo as an excuse for missing a birthday.

Comment discussing excuses for missing a friend's 25th birthday due to chemo, emphasizing friendship concerns.

Reddit comment expressing disbelief over friendship and criticizing someone in the context of a 25th birthday celebration.

Reddit comment discussing a friendship issue related to missing a birthday due to chemo.

Comment discussing chemo as an excuse for missing a friend's 25th birthday party.

Comment expressing disbelief at a friend's response to chemotherapy excuse, showing support and well-wishes.

Reddit comment discussing birthday plans and chemo excuse, suggesting to eat cake alone and feel better.

Reddit comment questioning the audacity of treating someone on chemo poorly.

Reddit comment expressing frustration about a friend's reaction to missing a birthday due to chemo.

Online comment criticizing friend's reaction to chemo excuse for missing a 25th birthday party.

Screenshot of a comment discussing chemo and not missing obligations.

Comment criticizing a friend's reaction to someone missing a birthday due to chemo, expressing disbelief and sympathy.

Text comment calling someone selfish related to birthday and chemo absence debate.

User's comment suggesting priorities between friendship and health during birthday conflict.

Comment discussing missing a birthday due to chemo, reflecting on using anonymous accounts for privacy.

Comment discusses emotional immaturity regarding missing a friend's 25th birthday due to chemo.

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