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Family Vacation Ends On A Sour Note After Mom Gets Humbled For Her Parenting Style
Unless it’s of a benevolent nature, prejudice is often ugly and potentially destructive. Having preconceived judgments about a person because of their race, religion, or where they came from only enforces division, which is never a good thing.
This was an unfortunate experience a woman had while on vacation in France. Her visit to a local souvenir shop quickly turned unpleasant when the owner began throwing negative stereotypes at her and her children.
She was understandably left stunned by the encounter, as she wondered whether the reputation of her people in other countries was warranted.
RELATED:
A woman vacationing in France was unfairly stereotyped during a holiday in France
Image credits: ORION_production / envato (not the actual photo)
It all began during a visit to a local souvenir shop with her children
Image credits: LightFieldStudios
According to her, the owner didn’t like how the kids “left the place a mess”
Image credits: Turquoiseforever
Negative biases towards others may point to a person’s deep-seated trauma
Image credits: Michael Morse / pexels (not the actual photo)
The shop owner may have had her reasons for stereotyping the woman, which were likely formed from previous unpleasant experiences. However, it does not excuse her behavior at all.
According to the American Psychological Association, having negative biases toward other people could be a byproduct of post-traumatic stress disorder. The United States Department of Veterans Affairs also noted that racial trauma may, indeed, lead to PTSD, especially if the individual involved experienced some form of violence.
According to Very Well Mind, it may also be rooted in the general fear of anything unfamiliar. In most cases, it could be a bias against both a person’s physical appearance and cultural differences.
Dealing with a person who judges others based on their background is a losing battle. Trying to change their mind would be a futile effort. So, what would be the best way to handle a person with such prejudices?
The International Organization for Migration advises against responding to avoid giving the hateful person more fuel to spread their vitriol. This applies to both the online world and in real life.
The woman’s bewilderment at what happened was a natural response, considering it may have been a first-time experience for her. However, she did take the high road and handled the situation calmly, which was highly commendable of her.
People in the comments were vocal about their thoughts
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What do you think ?
Trillian 3 months ago
A stand doesn't fall over when a kid gently points at it and twisting the ears is not part of 'sitting with the stuffed rabbit on their lap'. The way she downplays all this makes me think the kids went through the store like a grabby-fingered hurricane.
Ivona 2 months ago
Exactly! They almost toppled over a delicate stand with a necklace on it, almost broke a delicate cup, and played with toys that don't belong to them. That speaks of poor manners and poor parenting on OP's part.
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Nils Skirnir 3 months ago
Kids shouldn’t be playing w/things they haven’t bought, unless they’re samples. I don’t know about England or France, but in the US toys are frequently destroyed by kids and unpaid for - it’s a good part of shrinkage. As far as being racist, aren’t France and England primarily the same race?
Janissary35680 3 months ago
Pulling the "Racist" card really destroyed the OP's whole case in my opinion. The word has become virtually meaningless nowadays because of this sort of misuse.
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Cee Cee 3 months ago
OP saw the shop contained valuable things but still allowed her kids to mess with items on display. Her post is desperately trying to exonerate her poor parenting by deflecting. Still I reckon she'll keep a much closer eye on her kids now.
Auntriarch 3 months ago (edited)
Absolutely. At 3 my mother wouldn't have let go of my hand. At 6 it was very much "you don't look with your fingers". And this woman honestly doesn't see what's wrong with small children sitting on chairs and playing with articles meant for sale?
Load More Replies... Nadine Debard 3 months ago
I'm French and I see all kinds of behaviours but in general the rule is children don't touch anything except if you buy it.
Deborah B 3 months ago
There's a big difference between you picking something up because you are considering buying it, and you letting your 3 year old maul something you have no intention of buying. Handcrafted fabric items will quickly get shopworn with handling, they're not child-proof. This was poor parenting and poor etiquette, and if you didn't pay for the soft toys, you are 100% in the wrong. Teach your kids "we look with our eyes, not our hands" or don't take them into any shop that doesn't have shopping carts.
FreeTheUnicorn 3 months ago
I've lived in France and the UK and when English people are on holiday, many of them go on holiday from being decent people. They littler, they let kids run riot and then suddenly scream at them, they park badly and take up several spaces, they don't follow skiing etiquette, they get teenager drunk and vomit and p**s in the streets before even 11 pm. This isn't how most behave at home or how they behave in a country they've emmigrated to, but it's a clear pattern when they holiday in the UK or in France. I've worked in tourism in Scotland and the consistently worst behaved tourists are English. I've never heard anything bad about German tourists though, I lived in the French Alps, not on the coast, but the only stereotype about Germans I heard was that a woman travelling alone was probably German. Maybe it's different on the coast.
Lynchamigsakta 3 months ago
As someone that worked summers in a Swedish hotel as a teenager I unfortunately have to agree. I don't want to bunch people together like this but the English tourists where usually awful to deal with. Germans where generally super polite and easy to please
Load More Replies...
Cathy Lemay 3 months ago
This is so entitled. Those toys weren't your children's to m****t. They broke something that the shopkeepers depended on to earn a living. They paid money for the stock. Your children aren't going to learn respect. Who,pray tell, do you think you are?
Multa Nocte 3 months ago
I have been living in France now for almost 4 years and I have observed a definite difference between French children and English children. I live in Nouvelle-Aquitaine (southwest France) and we have a lot of local English people and a lot of English tourists - definitely more English tourists than from any other country. We see LOADS of tourists here, especially in the summer, and French children are definitely better behaved than English children. However, having lived in the US for all of my life previously (and being a doctorate level clinical child psychologist) I can easily say that English children are generally better behaved than American children.
Bartlet for world domination 3 months ago
I'm glad you don't mention the Dutch; I sometimes think we are the Americans of Europe. I was in England this summer and the moment I got off the plane back home, someone was oblivious to their surroundings and in my way again. Wouldn't happen in England, wouldn't happen in France.
Load More Replies... Undercover 3 months ago
Knowing small kids, i never let my niblings touch things I didn't intend to buy in stores. Their hands are always sticky, they drool or put objects in their mouths, they're clumsy and have bad impulse control. No, you don't leave kids alone somewhere to browse a store, especially when they sell delicate and expensive items.
roddy 3 months ago
If you teach them well, they won't do it. My parents (maybe because they were both in the forces) trained me well. Even at three years old, I didn't touch things that didn't belong to me, and waited to be invited before I ate anything set out for our meal. Even toddlers are not stupid, they can understand basic concepts and develop patience and restraint.
Load More Replies...
Craig Reynolds 3 months ago
As long as the parents are willing to take responsibility and PAY for anything their kids damage, I don't see a problem.
Winnie the Moo 3 months ago
My mom always said: kijken doen we niet met onze handen. Which translates to: we don’t look with our hands… I still don’t touch trinkets in shops, and teach my children the same. OP sounds very entitled…
Crissy Newbury 1 week ago
Shop owner should have been pulled up on having soft toys with DANGEROUS bits of wood in their ears where three year olds can just pick them up. That bit horrified me.
roddy 3 months ago
It's not racism to call out a parent for letting their kids play with things in a shop that clearly don't belong to them. This obviously was not a cheap toystore full of plastic things from China, but a place of antiques and artsy pieces. Mother should have taken the kids out as soon as the first one picked up a china teacup. And apologized. Kids can be taught not to handle things that don't belong to them. It's a puzzle why people train their dogs, but not kids, who are much smarter.
JayWantsACat 3 months ago
While I think the shopkeeper was a bit rude, I do understand it's probably from a place of frustration. And while OP doe s a good job of seeing the shopkeepers perspective, I feel like they might be downplaying how their kids were in the shop. Her perception, because she's obviously used to her own kids, maybe downplay how they actually act. She also doesnt mention that she paid for the bunnies her kids broke? Also, kids aren't a monolith in any country or society so the shopkeeper was out of line saying French children are all behaved.
Janissary35680 3 months ago (edited)
Not so much poor parenting as poor judgement. Delicate cup? No. Necklace on flimsy stand? No. Grab kids by hand say in the best French I can muster, "Excuse me, I forgot something outside" and exit shop. It's also possible the shopkeeper may have been having a bad day but that seems to come with the territory.🤷
Multa Nocte 3 months ago
If you treat French shopkeepers with respect, try to remember to greet shop owners when you enter a shop as is an integral part of the culture, keep your children under control, and use manners, you will rarely be treated poorly in a French shop. I am appalled watching tourists come into French shops and I am not even a shop owner.
Load More Replies...
Nadine Debard 3 months ago
I think I misred your comment at first. Do you mean many people give " my child has autism" as an excuse for poor behavior?
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Nadine Debard 3 months ago
In what place do you live? Where exactly did you see that? Or is it a third-hand rumor you heard back in the days?
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Nadine Debard 3 months ago
The French don't give a rat's hat about Jeanne d'Arc
Load More Replies... Trillian 3 months ago
A stand doesn't fall over when a kid gently points at it and twisting the ears is not part of 'sitting with the stuffed rabbit on their lap'. The way she downplays all this makes me think the kids went through the store like a grabby-fingered hurricane.
Ivona 2 months ago
Exactly! They almost toppled over a delicate stand with a necklace on it, almost broke a delicate cup, and played with toys that don't belong to them. That speaks of poor manners and poor parenting on OP's part.
Load More Replies... Nils Skirnir 3 months ago
Kids shouldn’t be playing w/things they haven’t bought, unless they’re samples. I don’t know about England or France, but in the US toys are frequently destroyed by kids and unpaid for - it’s a good part of shrinkage. As far as being racist, aren’t France and England primarily the same race?
Janissary35680 3 months ago
Pulling the "Racist" card really destroyed the OP's whole case in my opinion. The word has become virtually meaningless nowadays because of this sort of misuse.
Load More Replies... Cee Cee 3 months ago
OP saw the shop contained valuable things but still allowed her kids to mess with items on display. Her post is desperately trying to exonerate her poor parenting by deflecting. Still I reckon she'll keep a much closer eye on her kids now.
Auntriarch 3 months ago (edited)
Absolutely. At 3 my mother wouldn't have let go of my hand. At 6 it was very much "you don't look with your fingers". And this woman honestly doesn't see what's wrong with small children sitting on chairs and playing with articles meant for sale?
Load More Replies... Nadine Debard 3 months ago
I'm French and I see all kinds of behaviours but in general the rule is children don't touch anything except if you buy it.
Deborah B 3 months ago
There's a big difference between you picking something up because you are considering buying it, and you letting your 3 year old maul something you have no intention of buying. Handcrafted fabric items will quickly get shopworn with handling, they're not child-proof. This was poor parenting and poor etiquette, and if you didn't pay for the soft toys, you are 100% in the wrong. Teach your kids "we look with our eyes, not our hands" or don't take them into any shop that doesn't have shopping carts.
FreeTheUnicorn 3 months ago
I've lived in France and the UK and when English people are on holiday, many of them go on holiday from being decent people. They littler, they let kids run riot and then suddenly scream at them, they park badly and take up several spaces, they don't follow skiing etiquette, they get teenager drunk and vomit and p**s in the streets before even 11 pm. This isn't how most behave at home or how they behave in a country they've emmigrated to, but it's a clear pattern when they holiday in the UK or in France. I've worked in tourism in Scotland and the consistently worst behaved tourists are English. I've never heard anything bad about German tourists though, I lived in the French Alps, not on the coast, but the only stereotype about Germans I heard was that a woman travelling alone was probably German. Maybe it's different on the coast.
Lynchamigsakta 3 months ago
As someone that worked summers in a Swedish hotel as a teenager I unfortunately have to agree. I don't want to bunch people together like this but the English tourists where usually awful to deal with. Germans where generally super polite and easy to please
Load More Replies... Cathy Lemay 3 months ago
This is so entitled. Those toys weren't your children's to m****t. They broke something that the shopkeepers depended on to earn a living. They paid money for the stock. Your children aren't going to learn respect. Who,pray tell, do you think you are?
Multa Nocte 3 months ago
I have been living in France now for almost 4 years and I have observed a definite difference between French children and English children. I live in Nouvelle-Aquitaine (southwest France) and we have a lot of local English people and a lot of English tourists - definitely more English tourists than from any other country. We see LOADS of tourists here, especially in the summer, and French children are definitely better behaved than English children. However, having lived in the US for all of my life previously (and being a doctorate level clinical child psychologist) I can easily say that English children are generally better behaved than American children.
Bartlet for world domination 3 months ago
I'm glad you don't mention the Dutch; I sometimes think we are the Americans of Europe. I was in England this summer and the moment I got off the plane back home, someone was oblivious to their surroundings and in my way again. Wouldn't happen in England, wouldn't happen in France.
Load More Replies... Undercover 3 months ago
Knowing small kids, i never let my niblings touch things I didn't intend to buy in stores. Their hands are always sticky, they drool or put objects in their mouths, they're clumsy and have bad impulse control. No, you don't leave kids alone somewhere to browse a store, especially when they sell delicate and expensive items.
roddy 3 months ago
If you teach them well, they won't do it. My parents (maybe because they were both in the forces) trained me well. Even at three years old, I didn't touch things that didn't belong to me, and waited to be invited before I ate anything set out for our meal. Even toddlers are not stupid, they can understand basic concepts and develop patience and restraint.
Load More Replies... Craig Reynolds 3 months ago
As long as the parents are willing to take responsibility and PAY for anything their kids damage, I don't see a problem.
Winnie the Moo 3 months ago
My mom always said: kijken doen we niet met onze handen. Which translates to: we don’t look with our hands… I still don’t touch trinkets in shops, and teach my children the same. OP sounds very entitled…
Crissy Newbury 1 week ago
Shop owner should have been pulled up on having soft toys with DANGEROUS bits of wood in their ears where three year olds can just pick them up. That bit horrified me.
roddy 3 months ago
It's not racism to call out a parent for letting their kids play with things in a shop that clearly don't belong to them. This obviously was not a cheap toystore full of plastic things from China, but a place of antiques and artsy pieces. Mother should have taken the kids out as soon as the first one picked up a china teacup. And apologized. Kids can be taught not to handle things that don't belong to them. It's a puzzle why people train their dogs, but not kids, who are much smarter.
JayWantsACat 3 months ago
While I think the shopkeeper was a bit rude, I do understand it's probably from a place of frustration. And while OP doe s a good job of seeing the shopkeepers perspective, I feel like they might be downplaying how their kids were in the shop. Her perception, because she's obviously used to her own kids, maybe downplay how they actually act. She also doesnt mention that she paid for the bunnies her kids broke? Also, kids aren't a monolith in any country or society so the shopkeeper was out of line saying French children are all behaved.
Janissary35680 3 months ago (edited)
Not so much poor parenting as poor judgement. Delicate cup? No. Necklace on flimsy stand? No. Grab kids by hand say in the best French I can muster, "Excuse me, I forgot something outside" and exit shop. It's also possible the shopkeeper may have been having a bad day but that seems to come with the territory.🤷
Multa Nocte 3 months ago
If you treat French shopkeepers with respect, try to remember to greet shop owners when you enter a shop as is an integral part of the culture, keep your children under control, and use manners, you will rarely be treated poorly in a French shop. I am appalled watching tourists come into French shops and I am not even a shop owner.
Load More Replies... Nadine Debard 3 months ago
I think I misred your comment at first. Do you mean many people give " my child has autism" as an excuse for poor behavior?
Load More Replies... Nadine Debard 3 months ago
In what place do you live? Where exactly did you see that? Or is it a third-hand rumor you heard back in the days?
Load More Replies... Nadine Debard 3 months ago
The French don't give a rat's hat about Jeanne d'Arc
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