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30 Social Cues Indicating That Someone Might Be Flirting With You, As Pointed Out By Folks In This Online Group
It might seem that there are quite a few tips and tricks on how to flirt with someone and this way express your interest towards that person. Some might feel that this is quite a hard thing to do knowing that there is always a risk of crossing a line, creating a wrong impression, or finding out that the person is not interested in you. But sometimes people tend to miss out on someone having their eye on them. Having this in mind, one Reddit user decided to ask those who believe that they are good at flirting “what are some social cues us oblivious people should watch out for?”
The question that received almost 59K upvotes was answered by people sharing their own experiences, revealing what actions show that a person is interested in you. Which one of these signs do you believe in? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
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Good at flirting also means recognizing when the other party isn't receptive.
If they're answering briskly and killing conversation, cut your losses and move on.
Everyone is giving good advice, but flirting didn't click for me until i heard it described not as a set of behaviors to look out for, but as an escalation of suggestive behaviors couched in plausible deniability.
Put practically, if someone is doing something to engage you that feels extra (lots of touching, looking at you in a way that feels a bit to long, or doing a lot of poking fun and complimenting you), then that might be flirting or it might not. That's the whole point. Plausible deniability. They can safely disengage at any time.
If you want to know if someone's flirting, you need to test it. You do that by escalating things, but just a bit, so that now you have plausible deniability (touch them back in a comfortable way, maintain eye contact, or joke-compliment them back). If they escalate back and continue to do so as you escalate in turn, that is flirting. Eventually one of you will break cover and do something with clear intent (a kiss, an approach + ask for a number, or straight up telling them what you think of them and that you're interested). Otherwise, if you escalate and they don't change their behavior or they back off, then they were probably just being friendly and you should take the hint and do the same.
Dunno if that's something obvious to people, but it was definitely not for me, and college parties would have been way less fun had i not known. Hopefully this can help someone else too :)
I read once that if someone looks at you after someone (doesn't have to be you) said something funny and everyone is laughing, they like you. From personal experience, it's true
Be wary of a one-sided conversation. If your responses are met with mostly "yeps" and "uh huh" and nothing without meat, its probably not going well.
Does their body turn toward you or away from you when you talk? Do they mirror your body language?
This one actually makes sense, but you have to read it carefully. If they're genuinely moving towards you closer and closer, that's different than just standing there and accidentally making a random movement that just happened to bring you closer together for a moment. They probably just readjusted their muscles, clothes, or had an itch.
It’s the 2nd glance. They look once, look away & then look at you again. Not staring, not aggressive, this 2nd look denotes interest. Finally I get to use something I learned at uni
And when their dog winks at you that's a definite clue. They may not be interested, but their dog thinks you're pretty cool.
According to Sherlock: licking lips, eyes cast down towards the other persons lips, quirky smile of the lips, dilated eyes. And if the person has long hair, tucking it behind their ear or other fidgety behavior.
Please note I’m not Sherlock and I suck at flirting
When you're bad at flirting, it's not that you don't see the signals. It's that you don't interpret the signals correctly, or convince yourself that it cannot possibly mean that when you see the signal for what it is. At its root, it's a confidence issue. So it's not fixable by other people being more obvious or knowing what to look for. You gotta fix yourself.
If you're in a group of friends (new or old), find a natural opportunity to hang back. Someone who's interested in you will notice and take the opportunity to talk to you in private. Now this isn't full proof but it'll at least give you the opportunity to feel for any chemistry between you.
I've noticed that women will do a little adjustment to you, like brushing off a little piece of lint off your lapel or moving a stray hair off your face while talking to you. At least they did back in my rogue days.
Funny this is called 'Nitpicking'. Comes from apes who when they love each other, remove the "nits" caught in their fur. Good indicator bc it's subconscious sign of caring.
Seriously tell a bad joke - look for laughter and smiles that should not be there but are. Then it’s you they are into, definitely not what you said.
When people go out of their way to do something for you or say they really like spending time with you.
Physical contact. Granted, not everyone flirts the same way but a good sign is if they touch your arm (or the like) or you find them smiling the whole time that you’re talking to them.
If they start taking clothes off it's generally a good sign.
If they look directly at you while talking to their friend it's a good sign
Some people with anxiety tend not to make eye contact. It's nervousness or my counselor said it can be a dominance thing.
Does someone spend a lot of time around you?
I'm terrible at flirting but that's my method. Hang out. Be with this person. See if you vibe.
I know this sounds ridiculous, but something I used to do was force a yawn to see if anyone was looking at me because of that sympathetic response thingy. This is more of a trick than a cue to watch out for
"Good at flirting" is sort of a Schrodinger's cat. If they like you, and it works, it's flirting. If it doesn't, you're a creep and you fail. You have no control over this, and no way to prove it without trying.
You are only a creep if you don't get the clue soon enough and keep insisting. It's really not that hard. Almost every human is the result of such interaction.
If they start using words/phrases you use, it’s usually a good sign. But that’s if you’re meeting the person constantly in one way or the other (like classes etc.)
Mirroring. Take a look at your text. And see if they try to use the same emojis or same words as you do. They could even mirror some of your mannerisms if you meet up.
Well atleast that's what i tell my self hahaha
Actually, I tend to mirror the capitalization and emojis of anyone I text because I'm too self-conscious to be myself. So this isn't necessarily the case.
If you catch them looking at your mouth they're thinking of kissing you. Saying your name, repeating it during the conversation. Singling you out in a crowd. Asking you personal questions early on
I wouldn't consider myself good but I'll say this.
Just care and show affection to someone and you'll be good to go
No, that's just what a good person does for their friends. It's NOT to be confused with flirting.
When the girl who has a crush on you says “I can play guitar” when you say you like girls who play guitar, then she has a crush on you. I’m not good at flirting at all and honestly neither is my girlfriend but this is a true story that proves how oblivious I am.
If they compliment your physical appearance like your eyes or body, rather than something you chose like your makeup, outfit, ect. Then they're probably hitting on you. Speaking as someone who's both flirted and been flirted with.
Also, if someone DOES compliment something you chose, tell them where you got it. If they seem awkward or uninterested, they were hitting on you. If it was only a compliment then they'll be interested. Sometimes it's both though, so this isn't fool proof.
I'd prefer someone compliment my eyes. Had too many guys compliment my body just to get me into bed.
Girls who are flirting will laugh a lot. We also find a way to touch. Making eye contact and smiling at you is also another good one.
I'm a therapist who worked my way through school as a bartender. One of the clear ques someone is interested in you (and you can look this up) is playing with your their hair, especially if it's longer. It's a subconscious way of "making yourself pretty". You can even notice it in yourself when doing stuff like flirting on the phone or online.
When someone is usually composed in conversation getting nervous and mixes up word when talking with you. For example, I met a girl and her friends (who became my friends too) the night before her birthday, I didnt speak much to her but when we were departing I wished her a happy birthday for tomorrow, she replied "you too" then got all flustered as she left the train. I watched her on the platform get teased by the friends.
That's not flirting. No wonder people are having to share clues on how to spot flirting when clearly you don't actually know what flirting is.
If a woman asks you for tea or coffee late at night. Always say yes! You dont know what the tea or coffee or means but you’re going to find out. Trust me, speaking from experience. Fml.
Body movement or the way u speak , it tells u a lot about the person on Weather they are nervous or confident and they usually change the way they speak when they are flirting like the voice
If you are in a crowded bar or you have been talking for a while, as you talk a little closer.. If they don't turn their face they want to be kissed.
I have been very oblivious but this one stuck with me and never failed
This post is horrific. It's basically men who *think* they know what a woman is thinking. People behave in all different ways. Some people might be flirting when they touch your arm. Some people might just be very tactile in their communication. Some people might fix eye contact with you because they're flirting. Some might just be concentrating or trying hard to listen in a noisy environment. There is something that feels very incel about saying that behaviour X means she's into you and therefore you are good to go. Most of these posts just creeped me out.
Yes I hope nobody actually uses these tips or it could lead to some big misunderstandings.
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Heaven forbid should I remove that piece of hair that’s been stabbing me in the ey for the last 5 minutes while this boring person speaks to me for fear of being stalked/raped
This is the minefield of single men since the dawn of time! Treading the line between expressing interest, seeking feedback of reciprocation or lack thereof and unwanted creepiness. That said, most of these "signs" will get men into embarrassing situations. Especially the physical contact! Personally, I still hold out hope that more women will become more assertive and direct to avoid those uncomfortable situations.
This post is horrific. It's basically men who *think* they know what a woman is thinking. People behave in all different ways. Some people might be flirting when they touch your arm. Some people might just be very tactile in their communication. Some people might fix eye contact with you because they're flirting. Some might just be concentrating or trying hard to listen in a noisy environment. There is something that feels very incel about saying that behaviour X means she's into you and therefore you are good to go. Most of these posts just creeped me out.
Yes I hope nobody actually uses these tips or it could lead to some big misunderstandings.
Load More Replies... Heaven forbid should I remove that piece of hair that’s been stabbing me in the ey for the last 5 minutes while this boring person speaks to me for fear of being stalked/raped
This is the minefield of single men since the dawn of time! Treading the line between expressing interest, seeking feedback of reciprocation or lack thereof and unwanted creepiness. That said, most of these "signs" will get men into embarrassing situations. Especially the physical contact! Personally, I still hold out hope that more women will become more assertive and direct to avoid those uncomfortable situations.
