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80 Painful But Necessary Stories Of Going No Contact With A Parent
How many times as a kid did you slam your bedroom door and announce, with complete conviction, that you were running away? The reasons were always catastrophic. No more screen time, a bedtime that felt unconstitutional, the broccoli situation. You'd make it to the end of the driveway, remember that you had no money and nowhere to go, and return to the house pretending the whole thing hadn't happened. The big wide world was significantly scarier than whatever was happening at dinner.
But for a lot of people, the equation flips as they get older. The world stops being the scary thing. Home is the scary thing. And the dramatic childhood exit becomes, in adulthood, a carefully considered decision to simply stop going back. Going no contact with a parent is one of the hardest things a person can do. It is also, for the people in this thread, one of the best things they ever did for themselves.
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#1
My mother THREW my nine month old baby at me in the middle of restaurant, and then stormed out knocking over chairs and cursing me out. She did all this because I wouldn't let her take my baby to her workplace to show off to her friends, because I had already made plans.
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#2
My mom sent me an email saying I wasn’t welcome in her home ever again after I came out. I gave her what she asked for and told her to forget my email and number and not to contact me again.
#3
For my mom: long story as short as I can get it is that I had made my bank account as a minor so she was a co-signer on it. I didn’t know that the co-signer didn’t automatically get removed when you turned 18. Leading to a very costly mistake. She had suddenly closed down her bank account a week prior, which I didn’t think anything of until every cent I owned was taken out of my bank account to pay for her debt she had been dodging for years.
She refused to pay it back, saying it wasn’t her fault. Which was bad, but then I began hearing nasty things she was saying about me around town calling me all sorts of things saying that she was paying all my bills and I was just a money hungry b***h. I had been paying my parents bills since I could work. Literally gave them over $10,000. The most they ever gave me was a microwave and that’s it. That was the last straw for my mom. Everything I had done and given meant nothing to her.
For my dad: growing up he said he had terminal cancer and was going to d*e, leaving behind kids he didn’t like and wasn’t proud of. When my sister d**d of cancer, and I saw the massive difference between his ‘cancer’ and her cancer I knew he had been lying to our faces for decades. Guilt tripping us with his rapidly approaching d***h for sympathy and money. He’s still very much alive despite swearing he’d be d**d by 2003. I was already low to no contact with him (he was already an a*****e alcoholic) but seeing terminal cancer play out in real life really sealed the deal on no contact, permanently.
There is very specific data on family estrangement that tells us a lot more than a psychologist ever could. According to a longitudinal study published in 2023, people are significantly more likely to be estranged from their fathers than their mothers, 26% versus 6%. So there is no surprise why a whole mental health industry has been built around "daddy issues."
Daughters are slightly more likely to be estranged from their fathers than sons, and gay, lesbian, and bisexual respondents are between 10% and 14% more likely to be estranged from their fathers than heterosexual respondents. The pattern, across almost every demographic measured, points consistently in the same direction. Dad has some work to do.
#4
I had two dogs (on two separate time periods) growing up that my father beat up, and eventually got rid of because I wasn’t taking care of them. Mind you I was like 6. It was traumatic, but I kept telling myself that raising a dog is hard and I should wait till I can financially support a dog to get my own.
25-ish years later. I have a good job. Built enough savings that whatever happens, my dog will not end up in a shelter. Got a puppy from shelter. Raised and trained the puppy all on my own. I got good enough with this dog training thing that I volunteer at an animal shelter as a dog behavior rehabilitation trainer. I do it for the two dogs I failed cuz I was a f*****g kid.
Turned out I have an actual gift to connect with traumatized dogs, and generally good with animals…something they robbed me for decades.
Somewhere in there I realized my parents were just lazy narcissistic a*****s incapable of loving another living creature. Cut them off when they pulled a “you do as I say cuz I’m your parent, else you are disowned” card again and I told them that their wish to disown me is granted.
Did I pick dogs over my parents? Yes. Yes I did. Zero regrets.
Edit: There are loads of emotional, physical, and financial a***e they put me through. But yeah, this was the final straw.
#5
I told them what my therapist advised me to say and communicate, that they were not putting in any effort to improve our relationship. I was told in response (by my mother) that maybe she will seek out therapy so she can tell them lies “like I do” and have her version of the story affirmed “like I do”. Lol.
#6
They refused to apologize for deceiving me about my biological father. I said that I understood they did what they thought was best but that it was harmful and I believe they owed me an apology.
Mom went nuclear and said (the same ol’) ugly things about me. I calmly walked out the door and will never see either of them unless they apologize, which means I won’t see them.
Therapist Rachel Haack has a theory about why no contact is on the rise, and it is not entirely flattering to contemporary culture. She argues that postmodernism and critical theory (frameworks that taught us to question authority and identify power imbalances) have trickled down from academia into the family unit, where they have reframed relational dynamics in ways that aren't always helpful.
Parents become oppressors. Children become liberators. Love becomes suspect. Forgiveness starts to look like a betrayal of the self. These are useful lenses in certain contexts. As the only lens through which every family interaction is filtered, they create a framework where reconciliation is recast as weakness and estrangement as the only authentic response to imperfection.
#7
She picked a fight when I was with her in the car, refused to let me out, and escalated our "discussion" to a fully blown out screaming match. She basically trapped me in her car and yelled at me for 20 minutes. I couldn't get out because she refused to pull over.
I am slow to forgive but I love my mom. I hate having to defend the choice to cut her out (even if it's just for now), because most people don't seem to understand how inappropriate and horrible that is to experience since it's not physical.
#8
After a lifetime of emotional neglect, my mum suddenly decided to hug me every time we met.
The pain and and anger from all the years of neglect broke me.
For context, my Mum never hugged or comforted me even when upset or in distress.
If I cried, she wouldn't ask me why, she would just tell me to stop.
I've had years of therapy and still have attachment issues to this day.
#9
When I asked her for help for something for my kids. Said she should and then went back on her word the day of. It's not the first time she's done it. She's been doing it all my life. I thought I could go to her for help one last time. You know give her one last chance. And nope. Although she says she can't afford it, she can afford to go to Mexico back to back. Give ny sister 160k for a down payment but not co sign for me. Pay my sisters student loans off so they have no debt but nothing to help me. Pandemic starts up and she helps my sisters with there rent and I get looked over. So I'm done. Went low contact and only talk to her when I have to.
Haack also points to something that feels counterintuitive — the idea that being too connected to our parents might actually be making relationships worse. In 1960, a college student might have called home once a month. Letters were the norm. Distance was assumed and nobody read anything into a slow response time because the response time was always slow.
Now, parents and adult children can be in contact multiple times a day, and when they're not, someone starts wondering what it means.This constant accessibility has raised the relational temperature for everyone. The guilt of not keeping up, of failing to respond quickly enough, of not being present across every platform simultaneously, becomes exhausting. Haack calls it 'the age of too much para-connection' — everyone feeling simultaneously crowded and lonely.
#10
My mother, knowing when my daughter’s first birthday was (and forgetting or possibly not caring, honestly could be either or both), chose to go to a wedding of some lady whom she only knew for about 6 months at the time, and was getting married for the 2nd or 3rd time instead of coming to her grandchild’s 1st birthday party. It wasn’t just that it was the fact that this was a d***h by a thousand cuts. After she called to tell me she wanted me to change the whole party date (a few days before) so she could have her cake and eat it too I said no. She called me selfish, told me I’ve always been selfish. And I had it. Everything I have ever celebrated that has been remotely about me I could never ever have anything my way without being called selfish or a selfish b***h because she wanted her way. Even on my wedding day I was told I was selfish because I didn’t want country music and it was her music and she forced her way to the dj and got her way anyway. All my graduations all important dates, calling me fat when I picked out my wedding dress. In that moment I snapped. You wanna push me around? Fine, but I will never have my child experience this.
I was done. .
#11
After my beloved grandmother’s d***h, my mother refused to continue subsidizing my disabled, mentally ill brother’s rent. He has congestive heart failure and end-stage renal failure that requires dialysis three times a week. The extra cash amount, which I offered to split with her many times, was less than $250 a month. She refused my offer every time. As a result he became homeless in July of 2020, at the height of the pandemic. It was a catastrophic situation that ended up costing me over $20,000 for his travel and hotel costs. He was homeless for ten months, most of the time living outdoors.
When I told her that I was upset with her for causing him to become homeless and endangering his life, she screamed that I would eventually have to take care of him anyway and she deserves to enjoy the remainder of her life. It was then that I realized that she had planned the entire scenario. She literally sandbagged me with the responsibility caring for an acutely ill person from across the country. Mind you, I was the only one of her children with a career and I also have a disabled adult child of my own to care for. I was furious to the point that my body was on fire. That was the last time that I spoke to her.
All told, I’ve spent over a third of my life not speaking to her. I hope she enjoys her beautiful house on the bay in Florida while she ages and d**s alone.
#12
My father - it was over politics, but at that point, we were effectively NC for about 15 years.
My mother - I was on LC with her. I was getting married, and tried multiple times to have her attend, at which she kept refusing... even after I told her I would pay for everything.
But that wasn't the final straw.
Right before I got married, I saw my extended family so they could meet my husband. One of my Aunt's had a long term disease that was incurable, so being able to see her was really special. I asked her if I could have a photo with her, and she said yes - on the promise that I not share the photo online as she was physically not at her best and she was sheepish. I promised her that I would only share with my mother (as she had asked multiple times for the photo.)
She said that was alright.
A couple of weeks later, I got married, and a week after that, my Aunt suddenly passed (there was no indication anything was wrong.) I was on my honeymoon.
My sister called me to let me know, and she told me that mom posted the photo on Facebook.
I go to her Facebook and there was my Aunt in the photo... AND... my mother cut me out of the photo. The whole post was about how devastated she was that her older sister is gone, and how special this final photo of her was to her, and that she had to share it.
I cannot tell you the rage and anger I felt. This Aunt was my mothers closest sibling, and the moment she d**d, any promise she had to my aunt d**d, and from that point, it was only about my mother and her trauma. At that point, I went (effectively) NC. I filtered her off my FB and stopped actively interacting with her... seeing how long it would take for her to notice.
It took 9 months.
By the time she realised, I gave her a very direct message, and that was that. She isn't aware of "the incident" that broke the camel's back, and even *if* we speak again on this subject, I won't focus on it, but rather the decades of a***e and a*****e patterns she goes through.
I have had 3 interactions with her in the intervening 10 years and all were shut down immediately by me.
Clinical psychologist Joshua Coleman points to rising individualism as another significant driver. When a culture becomes preoccupied with personal identity, personal happiness, and personal fulfilment, relationships with other people (including parents) become secondary to the pursuit of self.
He says that older parents in the US are more than twice as likely to have a poor relationship with their adult children as parents in slightly less individualistic countries like Germany, Israel, and the UK. The more the self becomes the primary project, the more complicated everything else gets.
#13
When I was excluded from a family vacation, again, I realized it was never going to change. I was letting him/them walk all over my feelings, and even when I express my feelings, nothing changes.
#14
She told me I looked horrid in my new hair colour.
I know it sounds like the dumbest reason without context. But I spent my entire childhood getting told by her how worthless, ugly and dumb I was, how no one could ever love me, and how she wished she'd left me on the street when I was a newborn so she could've had another, "better" child to replace me instead. Screaming and cursing and throwing s**t at me for every single thing I did, or didn't do. And if I dared say a word back, she'd break down crying and lock herself in the bedroom, crying about how everyone/I was mean to *her*. Just constant verbal and emotional a***e.
So after a several year long break from her, I was supposed to meet her and my dad (whom I love and have a great relationship with btw - no shade on him, he always stood up for me and supported me while being verbally a****d himself), hoping maybe we at least could be civil with each other. Hoping that she finally might have changed. And the first words that came out of her mouth was "you look hideous, why would you wanna walk around like that? Why do you make yourself uglier each time I see you?".
I just turned around and walked home.
We have not spoken since and will never speak again.
#15
She told me that I should forget how she treated me when I was a child. this included:
- leaving me with my grandparents until I was 7
- taking me from my grandparents as soon as my brother was born at the ago of 7
- putting my brothers crib in my room and expecting me to look after him during the night, before school, and after school
- beating me for any grades below an A
- expecting me to take my brother to the nursery before school and then pick him up
- attend his parents conferences.
My father never got involved so I left home at 16, put myself through school, left the country to go to University.i havent seen my parents for 16 years and not planning to.
He also mentions therapy as a big driving force. While therapy has been enormously beneficial for many people navigating difficult family relationships, Coleman argues that some therapists have contributed to estrangements by effectively diagnosing family members with personality disorders like narcissism, borderline personality disorder, emotional mistreatment etc.
This all happens without ever meeting them, based solely on one person's account. He has met many adult children who, following therapy, have applied clinical labels to parents in ways that make reconciliation significantly harder. This flies in the face of professional ethics in psychiatry and psychology, but it happens. Labels, once applied, are difficult to remove.
#16
My mother started dating a new man. And it really changed her. She used to be the sweetest person I knew. I looked up to her and she was my best friend. Until she met this man. The last straw for me was when she told me that she regretted how much time she had wasted raising me and my brothers. Within a year, she went from being the person I talked to about everything to being someone I don’t know.
#17
She made me cry on my birthday. She had always been a bully and a mean girl but it finally became clear just how insensitive she was.
I used to defend her against my father since he was an obvious monster. But she had so many chances to protect us from him and chose to bully us emotionally instead.
#18
She abandoned me when I was a baby, then when I was a teenager she reached out to me asking for money. (I was 15).
A YouGov survey tells us the actual reasons people cite for estrangement. Among people estranged from a parent, the most common reasons given are manipulative behaviour, physical or emotional mistreatment, and lies or betrayal. There were all cited by roughly a third of respondents.
What's also worth noting is the reconciliation data. Among parents estranged from their adult children, 70% say they would be willing to reconcile. Among adult children estranged from a parent, only 35% say the same. The gap between those two numbers tells its own story about who is carrying more of the pain from the original relationship, and who has done more of the work of moving on from it.
#19
My mother had an internet romance behind my father's back. When i confronted her, she tried to get me to keep it a secret and said that if I were to tell him about the affair that I would be "ruining the family" and it would be my fault.
The next day, she stalked my brother at work to try get him on her side. She refused to leave his office and she sent him into a full blown panic attack.
Next, she decided to make a big cover-up. She deleted all the messages (but I had copies of them), and tried to gaslight me into thinking I had "misunderstood an innocent friendship". I insisted she tell me the truth, and she just lied more. My brother showed her the evidence, and she backtracked saying she hadn't lied, she had only told "partial truths".
I wrote her a long letter telling her that I have a real problem with how she treats people. I told her that she lacks integrity, and that kind people don't do the things she has done. I asked her "What do you value? How do you convince yourself that the hurtful things you say and do don't really matter?"
The only response I ever got was her telling me how disappointed she was in me and that I had "put a knife in her heart".
#20
It was my birthday. I got a text from nmom wishing me a happy birthday and it ended with "we'll call you tonight." As I was reading it, I started crying realizing I had two choices that evening. Cancel plans I had with friends to talk to her or endure her calling my phone every 10 minutes until my voicemail filled with guilt and self-pity messages. And then I started thinking back about all the birthdays she had ruined over my 40 years of life. So I decided my gift to myself was going to be ending the cycle. It's been 7 months and I haven't regretted a moment of it.
#21
This was during my parents divorce. I was 16. My mom had been physically/emotionally/mentally mistreating me for like 8 years already at this point.
I got tired of her calling me feminine slurs, and accusing me of having s*x with my own father because *she wasn't, so I MUST be* (I wasn't, for the record) I told her to SHUT UP, I wasn't having s*x with dad, and walked away.
She came into my room that night when I was laying on my stomach on my bed, and she grabbed my long hair and started ripping my head back and forth saying "STOP DEFENDING YOUR BOYFRIEND!"
I broke free and reached next to my bed for my baseball bat that I kept for this exact reason, and I swung it behind me as hard as I could. She had jumped out of the way *just* in time and backed up.
I screamed at her, enraged, that if she ever touched me again, I'd hurt her. She let out a little giggle and said "No, you won't."
She never did, tho. We never spoke again, either.
No contact is not, it turns out, a single binary decision. According to Simply Psychology, it exists on a spectrum with several distinct positions. Full no contact means exactly what it says: no calls, no visits, no messages, nothing. It is usually reached after repeated attempts to set boundaries have failed. Low contact maintains only minimal surface-level interaction like a phone call on a birthday, small talk at a family event, nothing more.
The 'grey rock' method is for situations where contact is unavoidable. The goal is to become as emotionally unresponsive and unremarkable as possible, depriving a difficult parent of the drama or reaction they're seeking. And a timeout is a temporary break, taken with the intention of creating space to heal before deciding whether reconciliation is possible.
#22
She ripped apart my passport (which later turned out to be a lie but she hid it for a long time - important to add i was eligible for a specific kind of passport due to her job and me being her legal dependent at the time) right before i was going to visit my best friend who moved abroad and only comes back home once a year (funded the whole trip myself by saving money from summer jobs) just because i told the truth (which went against her wishes bc she believes she's entitled to getting her way all the time) in court during their divorce hearing.
been a decade ever since, my life only got better each year. (no kids or plans/desire to have any ever so can't comment on that part.).
#23
She applied for two credit cards under my name and spent $500 on each one. tanked my credit 175 points. my whole childhood has been her doing s**t like that but this was finally the last straw.
#24
Just broke off communication last month. Found out from my sibling that she was participating in talking about my appearance extremely negatively and shaming how I parent my two kids. I’m more of a “gentle” parent after growing up in a very emotionally a*****e household and am trying better for my kids. She’s always made excuses for my dad and how he treats all three kids and her. I’ve noticed it start to bleed over into my kids now and I can’t allow it. It hurts so much but I can’t continue to be hurt and risk my kids at this point.
Scientific American offers a different perspective. Cutting off a parent is sometimes an act of genuine courage and necessary self-protection. It is also, sometimes, a way of avoiding the vulnerability required to express hurt, misunderstanding, or the need for change. The two are not always easy to distinguish from the inside.
Conversations, the publication notes, tend to end the way they begin. Starting with accusations and clinical labels creates defensiveness and shuts down the possibility of repair. Starting with what you value in the relationship, and then carefully describing the specific behaviours that cause pain, creates at least the conditions for something different. Listening to a parent's perspective, even one you ultimately disagree with, doesn't make you weak. Accepting that you won't agree on everything is not the same as accepting behaviour that harms you.
#25
Talked s**t about my kids in an attempt to hurt me when grey rocking didn't get her what she wanted. That was it for me. Told her if that's the way she felt about them she never needed to see any of us again. 2 years and counting. No regrets. Who talks s**t about their grandkids? They were under 10! W*F.
#26
My father ignored all of my calls, voicemails, and cards for over a year.
He told my brother that he “saw something in me that he didn’t like”. He even claimed his estrangement was because he didn’t have my phone number, as if he incapable of asking my brother for my phone number. I’ve ALWAYS had the same phone number; it’s never changed.
Twenty years later, and I don’t care if he’s happy, sad, alive, or d**d.
He was a racist, bigoted, self-important loser who let his wife at the time inflict sustained a***e and humiliation on me.
The BEST thing he ever did for me was estrange himself from me.
#27
When my Dad didn't speak up against my Sister's nasty comments after my Grandparents passed. Being accused of being disrespectful after spending 3 weeks in the Hospital every day and ensuring that they were looked after in the years before their d***h...taking them to A&E, and always checking in on them (not out of duty but because I would have given my life for them)...it was just too much to take.
It was the cherry on the cake after 30+ years of him not stepping up to be the parent I needed, despite being aware and admitting such to my Grandparents in the years after my birth...
And him just generally being royally s**t as a parent. There are ways to handle situations that require clear communication, and sending s****y alcohol-laced emails late at night is not one of them.
I sometimes wonder if I should email him and have the final word on the situation and make it abundantly clear, but then I think, why bother?
Sometimes, my only hope is that there isn't an afterlife because I wouldn't want my Grandparents to be aware of any of this.
Research suggests more than 80% of adult children eventually reconcile with their mothers and 69% with their fathers. Thriveworks offers practical guidance if you have reached that point. Take time to reflect before reaching out and resist the urge to fix things immediately. Write down what you want to say and then set it aside for two weeks, because when you return to it, you will almost always find things you want to rephrase.
If you want to reconnect, say so directly and without ambiguity. Don't hint, don't send vague check-ins, don't wait for the other person to make the first move. Avoid diagnosing or labelling, because "you're a narcissist" is a door-closing statement, not a door-opening one. Use "I" statements to describe your experience rather than their behaviour.
Meet somewhere neutral, somewhere without emotional history attached to the walls. And set clear boundaries from the beginning, because a reconciliation without them tends to reproduce the original problem rather than solve it. Healing is possible. It just requires both people to want it, and to show up for it consistently over time.
#28
My mom is a covert narcissist. She emotionally a****d and physically neglected her grandchild, won’t take responsibility for her actions, and refuses to get therapy to change her behavior. She is unhinged from reality, always has been to some level but it’s escalated since my dad d**d. Therefore, it isn’t safe to be around her.
After months of trying to reconcile, I’m now enjoying my peace. She’s lying about what happened to her friends and our extended family, but thankfully none of them have any bearing on my life. Pretty sure she’s also disinherited my sibling and I which is an insult to our dad’s final wishes. Oh well. We put up with her emotional a***e for 4 decade, but no amount of money is worth the grandkids’ physical safety. We’re the protectors we wish we had when we were children.
#29
To set the stage, as a teenager my mom was emotionally awful to me and clearly had severe, untreated mental health issues. I used to pretend to be asleep at 4pm to avoid talking to her, or I would see her car coming down the road and ride my bike out the other side of the street and stay at my paternal grandparents house until my dad got home. Everything I did was wrong, or not good enough, and I got screamed at for all kinds of dumb things. I never got in real trouble as a teen, it was just things like my backpack (that was in the same place it always was) was suddenly in the wrong place and I guess just moving it would have been too easy. One day I washed some nasty Tupperware my mom had left at work or in her car, because it was in the sink for like a week, and I got yelled at for washing it because it implied that I thought she couldn't/wouldn't do it.
My parents separated and I did my best to avoid my mom, unless forced to interact at holidays. I responded to her only enough to keep her from losing her s**t more. Then she got pregnant and I felt like I needed to be around because both she and her husband were dysfunctional and I didn't want the kid to suffer. Things were somewhat manageable, although still draining, for the next 10 years.
Then I had a kid. She was so invasive, irritating, and entitled. She brought my 9 year old brother to the hospital after I told her not to and didn't leave for 9 hours. She cried that I asked her to take him out of the room while I worked with the lactation consultant. She accused us of hating him for making him wash his hands before holding the baby. She got pissed that we didn't let my very immature brother walk around with the baby. Then she came to my house (with the 9 year old) after we were discharged, which we explicitly told her not to do, and wouldn't f*****g leave. A week later she told me I was just hormonal and that's not really what happened. I spent the first week of my kids life crying because of the terrible messages she sent me. She hasn't seen us since, has never met the second kid, and doesn't have my current address. I don't talk to her parents either because they think I could fix this by being a better daughter.
#30
About six months or so before we stopped speaking to one another entirely, during an argument, my so-called mother told me that she didn't care if she never saw me or spoke to me again. I told her to be careful what she wished for -- she might not want it when she gets it.
The last straw was when she refused to refused to take me to the mechanic's shop when my car caught on fire. She said she was too sick. But she wasn't too sick to be on the internet all day, chatting with the men she was cheating on her husband with. We had a heated argument over the phone, I told her to (expletive) herself, and we haven't spoken to one another since that day -- 18 years ago.
I've always parented my children far different from the way I was raised and not speaking to my so-called mother had nothing to do with that. My so-called mother treated me like garbage throughout my entire life. I chose to be an actual parent to my children. They are not an inconvenience or nuisances to me and I would never treat them as such.
The people in this thread did not make easy decisions. Nobody goes no contact with a parent lightly, regardless of what the cultural conversation around toxic relationships might suggest. Behind every story in this thread is a longer story, years of trying, of hoping, of adjusting expectations downward until there was nothing left to adjust.
What the research, the therapy, and the thread itself all point to is the same thing. Estrangement is sometimes necessary and sometimes premature and often somewhere in the complicated middle. The goal, wherever possible, is not permanent silence but a relationship that doesn't cost more than it gives. Some parents can get there. Some can't.
Have you ever had to make this terribly difficult decision? Share your story with us in the comments!
#31
I think the ultimate final straw (although it was many months before cutting all contact) was discussing a moment of trauma with my mother, which she had enabled. She looked me in the eye as she uttered the words "I could tell your dad was about to do something terrible, so I got out of the way (knowing I would take the a***e in her place)."
She told me that, and she had no lightbulb moment of 'Whoops, the trauma you underwent that day was totally my fault because I didn't try to protect you.' Because she didn't care; she achieved her aim of using me as an a***e shield to make her own life easier.
#32
Me: "I'm afraid you're going to drink yourself to d***h like Mom did and I can't handle it."
Him: "You're just like your mom, you don't care about anyone but yourself!"
Haven't spoken to the man in 12 years. He's still alive and is allegedly sober now, but that bridge has been demolished.
#33
During a heated text conversation, I asked if she'd felt like she had done anything in the last 6 months to improve our relationship. Instead of answering (the answer would have been no and she would have had to admit to that), she called me and then when I didn't answer, showed up at my house when I wasn't home and waited for me. At that point, I had spent so much emotional energy and I had none to put into a call or face-to-face conversation. I just wanted a solid answer. Not getting an answer to that text said so much and honestly, I did get my answer.
#34
I realize now that there doesn't need to be a "last straw" and that I shouldn't have been waiting for one for so long. Mine was a promise I made to myself that if my dad stopped talking to me on a family trip that I would be done. I was exhausted trying to make a deeply unhappy person happy, which was an impossible task, and I was hating myself for not sticking up for my children out of fear of him.
On the second morning I was giving my daughter simple directions and he interjected, "Yeah, don't be like (son's name)!" I very politely stated that we try not to use the other kids as an example of anything unless it's a positive for both children (i.e. - "You're so kind, just like your brother" and not, "Don't be like your brother and forget to clean the bathroom.") I didn't give him these examples, but that was my point. That was all it took. He wouldn't even look at me that day. Wouldn't interact with my kids. Spoke to me on and off if we were in public and he felt like it, then iced me out later. No goodbye or any acknowledgement of my presence when they left. Deep down I knew it would happen, and I knew my comment would likely trigger it, so it was nice to have a "reason" I could act on. I've been appalled by his words and actions many times, but it was the first time I went into something expecting him to be an a*s, and he delivered.
#35
I mean, the cycle is her being an outrageous b**ch to me, me trying to reason with her, her cutting me off, and me apologizing.
It kept happening over and over again. The last time was because I bought a Honda Civic. This time? Who knows. But since Honda-gate, I had been trying my damndest to play peacemaker, to be graceful, to grow up. I lost my dad after Honda-gate, so I was trying to be on my bestest behavior.
Anyway, one day we were making plans for an afternoon at an art museum. The next, I was cut off with no warning. The usual next steps would be for me to beat down the door, groveling and crying for forgiveness. Once I got confirmation that I was once again cut off, I just stared at the phone in my hand with relief.
It’s going on three years in February. I’m not saying I have never cried about it, but the trash took itself out, as far as I’m concerned.
My final straw was just knowing that if I kept down the road I was at, *nothing would ever change. Ever.* I can’t keep doing this to myself; I can’t keep putting myself in situations that I’m not wanted, I can’t keep trying to stuff myself into a box that I don’t fit in. She just doesn’t like me, doesn’t want to know me, and doesn’t care how I, her child, feel. Why would I want that in my life?
#36
Not invited to my dads 75th birthday dinner. I’d been excluded from events so many times. And when I asked why or expressed sadness about it, I was dismissed or told I deserved to exclude because of mean thing I’d allegedly done to my stepmom. Was excluded from the 70th birthday, which was 2 weeks before my wedding, until I cried and was invited. But since then apparently I’ve been shunned and my stepmoms therapist said she should go NC w me and my sisters. Again, no explanation of what allegedly is done to her other than “we remember things differently.” 🙄. It’s not nearly as bad as what some of y’all have faced, but it’s like they know excluding me hurts me so they do it in purpose, to intentionally hurt me. The 75th was just the last straw, why should I beg for scraps from people who are committed to thinking I’m a bad person to justify their cruel treatment of me. My dad wanted to still see me every so often just wouldn’t be welcome in his home or anywhere his wife is including Father’s Day, holidays, etc. why should I degrade myself to a man who gave no consideration whatsoever to my feelings. They don’t want me around, so I’m not around. I’m better off without them but it still hurts and I’m still angry.
#37
My mom and MIL. Both times they hurt my children and I realized they were at the same risk I/my husband were as children and I had to protect them.
#38
He spoke to me horribly, I tried to talk to him about the way he treated me and it turned into a huge fight. He emailed me months later (no contact prior to that) saying that he would apologise if I did first for what was said during the fight, but that he did not want to discuss it in any way.
I'd been umming and ahhing over it in the intervening months, but his outright refusal to talk about things was just confirmation that he would never change and he didn't want to, so I called it. That was 2019. We've had very low contact since, and he's just popped up recently as he's having health issues. I asked if he wanted to see me and talk about things and he very much said no, with even more bite than the last time.
#39
With my mother it was easy; she hated me and beat me daily and yelled horrible things until I left at 18. W my father I didn't meet him until I was 19 (my mother didn't let me see him after he left when I was like 6) and it was harder to finally break contact w him after he showed me he would always just be the enabler to a woman who a****d his kids and I would always feel like I had to earn his love or even attention.
#40
The mother got her boyfriend to hit me. She has tried apologising over the years, but I refuse to hear it and haven't spoken a word to her since - parents are meant to protect their children and the moment she condoned physical violence against me is the moment she permanently lost me.
#41
I had been low contact with my mother for years. I wanted so badly for things to be fixed, for her to acknowledge the a***e and to apologize, and for us to have the rosy mother daughter relationship I've always wanted.
Then a series of events happened in close succession and I finally decided there was no hope. It was hurting me too much to continue any amount of contact.
1. Wore a white dress to my wedding
2. Asked me to buy her newly published book. I did, read it, and it was a s*x, b**m, s******l ideation book. Horrific for a daughter to read!!
3. Had told me for years that she had kept all my childhood stuff. I finally had time and money to get it back, only for her to tell me she *actually* had gotten rid of it all.
Every day, I have to remind myself that I don't owe my a****r anything, and my mental health needs to be my top priority.
It's all recent, I'm still grieving, and I'm dreading mothers day.
#42
We were visiting my dad and stepmother. They lived three-quarters of the way across the US from us so it was a big deal traveling that far with our (then) 3-year-old. Three days into what was supposed to be a week-long vacation, my stepmother "went ballistic," which is what my father called it when she threw an absolute frothing fit, over what I still do not know to this day (the house was big enough that we could hear her screaming and throwing s**t around, but not actually hear what she was saying). I often wonder what might have happened had they had a gun in the house that night, but thankfully they did not. She eventually stormed outside, stood beneath our bedroom window, and screamed, "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!" Then she got into her car and sped off into the night for a few hours. We waited until sunrise so as not to disturb the sleeping baby, packed up our stuff, and got out of there. I exchanged a few emails with my father 10 years or so later, but otherwise did not have any contact with either of them for the last 20 years of his life.
#43
Someone got shot in my neighbourhood less than 6 feet from where I was sleeping and my “parent” was walking by. Didn’t check on me. They saw the car but didn’t bother to call the police. Sent me a text the next morning telling me “welcome to the ghetto.” I’ve always been an afterthought and the punching bag. Decided that day I was better off without them. It’s been wonderful.
#44
My former male guardian (a family member, he and his wife raised me) and my aunt visited. My aunt said he was d***g so i needed to let them visit, i believed them cause why would you lie about something like that? He's literally fine, so it starts with me realizing my aunt (who i mostly trusted) would lie to me like my guardians did.
Then they show me a folder which they said was filled with my childhood drawings cause he loves me so much. Some were mine, some weren't. There was random report cards and receipts in the middle for bulk 🙄 they tried to take the folder from me when i started flipping through it, it was totally half a***d lol
Later that day they sit me down and say we need to talk. They proceeded to tell me going to grad school was selfish of me because women (im a trans man...) can't be scientists and I'm wasting my time when i should be serving the family. They listed off a bunch of rules that my therapist said was essentially an indentured servitude agreement, i obviously declined. Then they said that no one will hire me so i can't expect to have a career, and no man would ever love me so i wont have a family of my own. The extra salt in the wound was my aunt, who i used to commiserate with regarding physical a***e from this male guardian, said that i lied about him all these years, he's a poor innocent man, i should be ashamed of myself for treating someone so innocent so shamefully. Like?? And he sat there with his arms crossed pouting like a toddler
It took me time to process, and in the meantime they blew up my phone regularly just to tell me im a failure. Both former guardians threatened to hurt themselves, and me, saying i was causing them anxiety and depression cause im so selfish and awful. They straight up sent me d***h threats. I finally decided to cut contact when they made my uncle call me while i was at work, and i could hear them fake sobbing and screaming in the background. Apparently my guardians and aunt woke him up saying i was ignoring them and they think im d**d. I texted them "im busy" then they send me paragraphs of the same b******t. That was the last communication i ever had with them. They're stalking me now but at least i dont have to talk to them 😒.
#45
Ironically both of them (NM and NGM) decided to pitch a toddler tantrum on the exact call where I was going to tell them that my kiddo was on his way.
NM went incoherent on a rant that her electric recliner had broken, she had something go wrong in her shopping and she was mad that (5 months later) I could prove I had called her on her birthday. Just makes it more incoherent when you realize that I lived 5+ hours away and hadn’t seen her in person for years.
NGM decided to go off that she was too old to listen to anyone, didn’t care what anyone thought of her and she was going to do what she wanted, when she wanted and as soon as she could, she was going to move herself and my brother into my house because she wanted to be there when I had kids because she did so good she was going to raise them as the only great grandparent.
#46
My mother started calling me a w***e and a liar in front of my 2 year old and my two sisters (2,4) there’s many straws before then that should have been final but that one was it. I wanted to protect my siblings from her but ultimately my daughter was my responsibility first and foremost. 10 years laters and my daughter will never know a***e. She broke the cycles and we are happy.
My mother is a monster. I will never be like her.
#47
My final straw was her behaviour when my grandma (her mother) was diagnosed with liver cancer. My mother was anything but a mother figure in my life, and I watched as she took advantage of everyone, but I had no idea that she'd go to such lengths in her selfishness while her own mother was d***g.
#48
After throwing emotional a***e my way for over two years because I wouldn't see them unless they got vaccinated, completely ignoring my birthday, and trying to hold the condo I live in over my head (I pay the mortgage, but they own it) she messaged me to tell me how nice it would be if we could start talking again for her birthday.
#49
Refusing to go to rehab after yet another drunk episode calling me and threatening to hurt herself. I made it clear if she didn’t go I would have to stop talking to her because it was absolutely toxic. Got married, had kids and raising them without her. It’s tough.
#50
My mom told me the truth about a situation I had always thought went another way. When I told her that she knew for years that I thought it was x and not y, she refused to accept that she had lied to me by allowing me to believe the lie because it saved her reputation more.
#51
My nDad has been asked repeatedly to curb the inappropriate s****l talk, language degrading women, and in-general body-negative talk around my 10yo daughter, who is on the autism spectrum.
The last visit (Sept. 2022) he purposefully scheduled it when I had rehearsal so it was mainly just him, my now-fiancé, my daughter and my two stepkids.
He “graciously” took them all out to lunch and then proceeded to tell my very skinny 10yo DAUGHTER that she had a fat belly. Twice.
Y’all, that age for girls (ESPECIALLY very literal neuro-atypical girls) is PRECISELY when eating disorders manifest. I ain’t playing around.
Went NC and it’s the smartest thing I’ve ever done.
#52
I literally ran away from home when I was 19 after my Nmother started making d***h threats towards me. They were passive aggressive comments laced with undertones of further physical harm. At that time, one of her sisters was working at the university I was going to, in student support and I ended up talking to her and a guidance counsellor about what was happening at home and what Nmother was doing to me.
Nmother's sister helped me escape and sheltered me for a few months, until I found a place of my own to rent. Then 6 months later, her and another of Nmother's sisters blackmailed me into giving Nmother my new phone number. They actually threatened me that they would go to Nmother and tell her how they helped me escape and where I was living. I stayed VLC with Nmother's relatives for almost 10 years, until Nmother d**d. It was at her funeral that I realised I will never be a welcomed part of the family. They were all comforting my half-sister while leaving me mostly alone during the entire service and wake.
A few months later, I had a massive falling out with my half-sister (I was living with her and her family at the time, and she was progressively becoming more and more controlling and more hostile and volatile towards me, all traits our Nmother would display) and I decided then that I would cut all contact with my entire Nmother's side.
I have no love or sympathy towards any of them now.
#53
It was the thing where you're explaining something clearly to them - and you get the nonsense back, the random "w*f?" noise that just doesn't relate or is even in the realm of sanity. It's not even that wall of denial, it's just garbage data... like 'the earth is flat and made of purple oranges!' in reply to real pressing issues.
I suppose it wasn't anger in the end, it was just the utter collapse and loss of hope.
#54
Years ago mom had everyone go around the table at thanksgiving to tell me why they don’t visit me or talk to me. After a long line of stupid s**t like this, never regretted blocking her from my life.
#55
Screaming at me/calling me a b***h while I was holding my 1 year old who had a 103 degree fever. I realized that it wasn’t just hurting me anymore.
#56
My father trying to apologize to me by saying that he wouldn’t have hit me if my mom was a “better wife” to him.
I told him exactly where he could go. That was 17yrs ago.
#57
They were trying to put my children in close contact with my a*****e sibling when I was not with them and without my knowledge, so they could play happy family.
#58
My mom went into a manic state from stress. I asked her to close a door (that apparently she wanted kept open) and she went off on me. Started crying, yelling, drinking, throwing things, slamming doors, stomping around like a toddler. I haven’t seen her do this since I was 12 and I’m 28 now. I thought she had changed but nope, she’s just as dangerous as I remember. I left her house in the middle of the night and haven’t spoken to her since.
#59
It was a two-stage process; I was LC with Nmom as an adult, but still trying to be a good daughter because *'FaAaMiLy'*.
When I got engaged to my N-fiancee, I found myself explaining explicitly to him, how to deal with her irrational outbursts of tears & rage, and guiding him through the process of how to thwart her from trying to take control of our wedding. How she would go behind our backs; how she would guilt-trip and cry;
how she would show up anyway, with her default excuse, 'Oh, I didn't think you'd *mind*!"
...all of which, she did, but we were ready.
After my husband was made *'FaAaMiLy'*; she tried to sink her fangs into him. It was shocking to see it happen from an outside perspective, and I quickly decided, that I WAS *NOT* going to be a flying monkey, and have him go through the same toxic t*****e. We kept our distance, but one Christmas, Nmom exposed herself, and gave us an escape clause at the same time.
We were told to come visit, a few days before, for Holiday Light Viewing, and I was really looking forward to that. We arrive at the *'FaAaMiLy'* home, and Nmom has a change of plan to do something completely different, (She wanted to go shopping instead saying, "You don't mind, do you!?")
I did mind, and I said so. So, she released her second stage manipulation: banishment, and cried, "If you don't like it, you can just leave!"
It was then, that I realized that I *could* leave and that sounded like a great idea!
I left, and never went back, because there never came a time that I liked her a***e.
#60
For the bazillionth time she said "I don't have a daughter " " I never wanted a daughter".
At 65, I FINALLY listened.
#61
Closing my bank account (it was a joint account I opened in middle school and continued to use well into my 30’s), taking the money, and then getting explosively and belligerently angry when I asked if they knew anything about it. I had been on the phone with the bank all day thinking I had been scammed and sent a text that said ‘hey that account was closed, so you know anything about it?’. Cue her scream-blaming me for it somehow and cussing me out when I tried to set the obvious boundary that this event inspired.
No more.
#62
After I loaned her 65 grand as a business investment being told that I would get a cut of the profits when the store got up and running (yes this did actually happen there is a physical store and business.), I was diagnosed with cancer and my POS NSurrogate told her dad (the man I call my dad as well) “I hope the b***h f*****g d**s.”.
#63
I confronted her about her alcoholism. Told her I wanted her to stop drinking and get some help for it. I was told to "grow-up". Honestly the indignance of trying to parent my parent only to be infantalized and told I was being immature was definitely the final straw for me. Like f**k you fine, drink yourself to d***h then.
#64
My first cut-off point was when I kicked her out of the house for having an affair and being an alcoholic who wasn’t capable of looking after her own children. I saw her clearly then, but for the sake of my siblings and trying to make life easier on my dad, I tried to reconnect with her a couple of times.
The last, final straw was very built up, loads of other stuff came in between, but ultimately it was the run-up to my 21st birthday. She wanted to come to my party. We weren’t on speaking terms, I had her blocked on almost everything. She wanted to have access to my Facebook page if she couldn’t come to my party, I said no. I unblocked her on WhatsApp so she’d have my number, saying that she needed to make an effort.
A week passed and after her badgering me for months to have access to me, she never so much as sent a message.
I decided that I was done because I was asking for the absolute bare minimum, regular contact to show she was serious and cared. Instead I got nothing because she doesn’t care at all.
I’m 30 this year and my life is SO much better without her in it, another decade and I’ll have had almost as much time without her than I had to endure her.
#65
The moment I realise I have a nmom and we have zero emotional connection. It's just her bullying and judging me. Working my way to LC. Haven't spoken with her face to face or read her messages since Christmas. She's playing the victim but said she'll never treat me like an adult.
#66
When her actions started to hurt my children's feelings, I was done. I had put up with so much in hopes maybe one day I'd have a mom like everyone else. I kept her at a distance but it came to the point where my kids were getting their feelings hurt by her. I was done at that point.
#67
2020 was a rough year for me. Not just the pandemic, but my dad got caught up in q-anon and became evangelical.
My mom left him in December 2020 after he snapped at her for sleeping in. She told me everything he had done behind closed doors. The a***e was there the whole time, but i was blind to it until she left.
I was on shaky ground with him after that. But I watched how a*****e he became to my younger sister. She always stood up for herself, which he hated. They always had the worst fights, and recently, he shoved her in the middle of a fight.
And for me personally, it was when I met him for a bday get-together. We go to a restaurant and he wants to dine in. He's not vaccinated, and the sign on the door said they had to follow guidelines. He just said to me, "Mom and pop shops dont follow covid regulations." and went in as though it would not be an issue. When she inevitably asked, he stormed put and embarrassed me and my boyfriend in front of the entire restaurant.
And many other similar incidents. This is scratching the surface.
I no longer trusted him nor felt safe in his presence.
#68
When I had my baby and all my past trauma came up and I thought how could anyone do that to their own child and why did no adult in the family protect me.
#69
She asked me how my kids were. Or I should say she asked me how Hudson and Marshmallow were (fake names I promise) marshmallow is actually Mountain.
She never met my kids. She never cared about my kids. And not even knowing one of their names made me realize she doesn’t care and I can’t let her hurt them too. I stopped calling and she never called me.
#70
I had a full blown, years-in-the-making crying meltdown at my grandmother, begging her to acknowledge the a***e her daughter (my mum, and also my mum’s partner) had put me through as a child/teen, because the entire family just pretend none of it happened and black-sheeped me instead. She barely responded, then typed up a document to make me read, detailing all the trauma she (grandmother) had experienced through her life - still not acknowledging mine, basically stating “we ALL have trauma”. STILL not acknowledging my pain and just making it about her own instead 🙃.
#71
When I moved back within a 40 min drive of my dad and step mother’s place (I had previously lived a 6 hour plane ride away.)They invited me to a family dinner at their place. Afterwards, I wrote them a thank you note via email. I said thanks for having me and thanks for a delicious dinner. They responded saying that I was treating them like servants, that I owed them thanks for a lot more than dinner; they had welcomed me provided a home for me and that I owed them thanks for that.
#72
Had a phone conversation and I actually thought it had been going well. We were having a discussion on a topic that I’m passionate about and I thought we’d finally had common ground.
Apparently in my excitement to think it was a productive conversation, she was seething and upset by the whole thing and proceeded to go off on me about how wrong I was and how I was shaming her for “how she had to do things” when I had literally been agreeing with her assessments the entire time and just saying we still have issues today and we (society) really need to fix things.
Apparently me saying there was nothing she could have done back then because she didn’t have those rights was me attacking her and telling her how stupid she was. I get that it was probably her own internal struggle that was actually coming out but that was pretty much every conversation - always had to be about her and she always had to be the victim.
Anyway, she yelled at me and hung up. Like pretty much every single call we had.
I think because I had actually thought the conversation was positive up until that point it just hit differently and I was like “never again.”
I think I was still LC with her for a while because of a preplanned trip but after that I will never speak with her again.
I’m not worried anymore about protecting her feelings by giving up pieces of myself in the process.
#73
When my mother decided to destroy my faith in myself as a mother and decided I wasn’t allowed to be any happier than she had been. She diligently committed to this process, starting with telling me “you’re going to have a d**d baby” on my second day of new motherhood and everything else she said after that at every opportunity. I was told I was a “horribly disconnected mother” when I had to go back to work after my maternity leave ended. She took every opportunity she could to tell my I was an a*****e, terrible mother. Sadly, after years of it I finally believed it, as happens to a***e victims. I truly believed that my daughter would be better off growing up without me, and I tried to k**l myself. She never talked about it with me. Ridiculously, I GAVE her another chance to be in our lives - w*f in hell was I thinking? She switched her constant a***e to my daughter instead. So I went VLC with her for about 4 years after. Then one Christmas she decided to reach out and accuse me of “turning my daughter against her family.” I was f*****g done after that. The last thing I said to her was on the Mothers Day following that, where she sent me her usual “Happy Mothers Day to the best mom ever” b******t that she only says because she wants to hear it in return. I straight up asked her, then why did you say what you said at Christmas? She didn’t respond and after a few months I blocked her and my daughter did too. Best feeling ever when that happened, we are FREE and HAPPIER than ever now that the wicked harpy is gone!
#74
When she sat me down after my grandmother’s funeral (I had gotten out of a mental hospital the same day due to a s*****e attempt to be able to attend) and she told me,
“If you think I’ll ever choose you over God and Jesus then you have another thing coming. You’re gay s**t means nothing to me and I won’t put up with it.”
After years of trying to get her to love and accept me I finally realized that she had never and could never love me, so I spent the next 3 months pretending things were fine and then one day moved 1200 miles away. I blocked her phone number before I left the drive way and never looked back. She’s tried to send me letters telling how much she misses me, and it’s taken every ounce of self control to not make a burner email and tell ask why she’d miss me when her relationship with Jesus should be far more fulfilling than with some dirty queer like me.
#75
'Hurry up and give me another grandchild, I didn't get enough time with the last one!!' after I'd had a stillbirth.
#76
Mine was my mother threatening to harm my kitten. She could harm me, she could say and do whatever she wanted to me and I was so deep in the fog that I would just accept it as deserved treatment, but when she started threatening my tiny little kitten, it broke through to me. I wouldn't protect myself, but I wasn't going to allow her to harm other beings.
My cats and I left shortly afterwards.
It took me a while to unpack it all mentally - my sense of self worth and inner child got workouts over the next few months.
#77
It was her sighing and hemming and hawing over helping me when I had a panic attack that did it. I have multiple traumas with basements and my basement was flooding with Hurricane Jeanne water and I was losing it and SHE was the one who always told me her Boss's son needs money for odd jobs and I asked her to call him to wet vac my basement and she sighed and hemmed and hawed.
#78
Being accused of stealing money from my father and his partner when idiot bank tellers withdrew money from their account instead of mine, then being asked to pay them back 1) in the early stages of the pandemic and 2) the bank reimbursed them.
#79
When I naively shared my psychological evaluation that outlined that I'd been s******l for years under my parents' nose, thinking it would be a chance to clear the air and try to start over, and dad took that opportunity to effectively end our relationship.
#80
Went VLC with my mom after years of her denying my daughter has a hearing disability. “But she seems fine!!”, she’d say. I’d retort “she is fine, she just hears differently from you and me”.
My mother is a hypochondriac, thirty plus surgeries in twenty years - many of them elective. She diagnoses herself with illnesses and has no medical support to back up her claims. When I asked her about her diabetes diagnosis, she hedged for a while getting defensive as I asked about her labs, did she need insulin, was she checking her blood sugar daily, if so what was the trend. I was concerned and wanted to know how advanced it was and she brought it up in the first place. Finally she admitted she’d had no test, it was from a book (thank god she refuses to learn to use the internet because webmd would have her dying on the daily). I mention this because if anyone else is diagnosed with anything, it’s minimized compared to her illnesses/issues. Or she outright won’t believe it even though people questioning her is the most offensive thing a person can do.
She came to visit and while she was with us, she witnessed my daughter’s speech therapy. I want to reiterate that she knows about the hearing disability, hearing aids and speech therapy, she still misheard my daughter say something and made fun of her for how she said it/my mom heard it. She went so far as to give her a nickname mocking the misheard word. I wasn’t present for that exchange but when my mom told me about it she said that she had misheard and my daughter confirmed meaning my daughter didn’t misspeak. My mom also saw a humorous misprint that referred to an item as “dumb”. This also became part of my daughter’s “fun” nickname. Mispronounced/misheard word + dumb item. This was the nickname she gave my 9 year old daughter.
When I asked her not to use it anymore and that I was sure she was trying to create fun memories which I support, I think there are kinder nicknames to give a child, she DARVO’d me. It wasn’t her, she didn’t do it, it was my daughters idea, it wasn’t a nickname, it was my fault for not speaking up sooner.
Growing up, I remember too well the “joking” she’d do and when I said it hurt my feelings, she’d mock me and tell me I needed to learn to take a joke and what was wrong with me?! She did the same to my daughter during that trip. That plus the nickname was the straw for me.
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