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Friendship isn’t just about enjoying the good times; it’s also about being there for your buddies when they need you the most. That’s why besties stick around even when the going gets tough, but sometimes that loyalty of theirs might lead them astray.
This is what happened to a man who wanted to give away a big chunk of his savings to his buddy who got into an accident, much to his fiancée’s displeasure. She felt that it would be a mistake to give away so much cash, which led to a big conflict between them.
The woman didn’t want her partner to give Tom so much money, because she felt that the accident had been his own fault for driving drunk, so she put her foot down
Text discussing fiance wedding friend money issues and addressing questions about shared finances after responses.
Text excerpt about fiance, wedding, and friend money discussing financial expectations and communication to avoid relationship pitfalls.
Text discussing a fiancé choosing a lower paying job for less stress and more time, focusing on money and wedding plans.
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Text discussing fiance, wedding costs, friend’s financial support, and money challenges including student loans and medical expenses.
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Text about creating joint savings accounts for house and wedding expenses managed by fiance with agreed money contributions.
Text excerpt about fiancé managing wedding and personal money, with no disposable income due to spending and reduced work hours.
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Text discussing fiance wedding friend money concerns about balancing payments, loans, retirement, and helping with expenses.
Alt text: Text explaining a personal view on not financially exploiting fiancé in a relationship involving money and wedding planning.
Most people sided with the woman and felt that her fiancé was being unreasonable by wanting to dip into their shared savings to help his irresponsible friend
Reddit user advises fiancé to reconsider friendship over risky behavior affecting wedding and future money plans.
Reddit conversation about fiancé, wedding, and friend asking for money to attend the event despite financial struggles.
Reddit comment discussing fiance, wedding financial responsibility, and lending money to a friend in a relationship issue.
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Comment discussion about fiance wedding fund and friend’s money use for medical and travel expenses.
Couple discussing fiance wedding money issues with a female counselor in a bright, modern living room setting.
Later on, the woman and her partner made up, and she decided to at least cover Tom’s expenses to be at their wedding, and to give him a chance to change
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A young man discussing wedding plans and money with his friend and fiance outdoors during sunset.
Although Tom initially didn’t take things well, he later contacted his friend to apologize and asked if he could still be the best man at their wedding
The poster and her fiancé did their best to stay on the same page about money, especially since his dad worked as a family law attorney and knew how finances could affect relationships. That’s why they collectively made a budget and saved a percentage of each of their incomes for their wedding and home down payment.
Many experts advise couples to have a regular conversation about money so that they can understand each other’s financial perspectives. This is because nearly 44% of people fear getting into a fight with their partner over money, and 32% feel they have opposing views about savings compared to their partner.
That’s exactly what happened with the poster and her partner when she found out that he wanted to give a big chunk of their funds to help his best friend, Tom, out after he got into an accident. The OP didn’t want to use their savings to help the man because she felt that he had gotten himself injured by riding his motorcycle drunk.
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Since the woman was also putting a greater portion of her income aside for their joint funds, she felt annoyed that her partner would be willing to just give it away to his friend. In situations like this, money professionals state that couples should compromise and negotiate so that they can approach the problem as a team rather than as adversaries.
Although the OP and her partner got into a heated argument over whether they should help Tom or not, they eventually apologized to each other and decided to get on the same page. The poster decided that she was uncomfortable paying for the injured man’s bill, but she would be okay covering his expenses for the wedding so that he could still be a part of the big day.
The couple also reached out to Tom’s parents to discuss a plan of action with them, and the older folks agreed to cover his medical expenses if he took responsibility for his actions. They want him to not only set concrete milestones for recovery but also to check into a treatment facility for his drinking.
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Advisors state that when people give consequences like this, it can help the individual understand the gravity of their situation and force them to make a change. This can also be beneficial for their loved ones, as it sets a strong boundary and protects them from getting hurt again and again.
Even though the OP, her partner, and Tom’s parents tried to get him to change his behavior, he refused to listen and ended up ghosting them all. Later on, he contacted his friend, apologized for his actions, and explained how he’d like to be given another chance to be a part of their wedding.
Do you think the couple handled this situation well, and what would you have done differently? We’d love to hear your thoughts on this story.
Folks were glad that the poster and her fiancé were able to resolve their financial differences, and hoped that Tom would be able to make a change
Text message from fiancé’s friend about support and money related to upcoming wedding and treatment facility.
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Comment from an online forum praising a fiancé and wedding friends for having an open discussion about money.
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You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.
You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.
Don't be friends with people who habitually drive when drunk and put other people's lives below their own wants. First of all, they are cvnts and you deserve better. Secondly, what do you think they will do when the choice is between their wants and YOUR life?
Don't be friends with people who habitually drive when drunk and put other people's lives below their own wants. First of all, they are cvnts and you deserve better. Secondly, what do you think they will do when the choice is between their wants and YOUR life?
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