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Man Dictates Who Should Be In The Delivery Room With Fiancée, Doesn’t Care She’s Not Comfortable With It
Pregnancy is one of the most intense and challenging experiences a woman can go through, and making sure they feel safe and comfortable should always be at the top of the list.
But a six-month pregnant woman felt anything but supported when her fiancé tried to convince her to let his mother be in the delivery room and watch the birth.
She wasn’t comfortable with the idea and refused to agree, which led to some backlash from her partner and his family.
What should have been a personal choice where she should have been allowed to prioritize herself, instead put her right in the middle of some family drama.
RELATED:
Pregnant woman’s needs clash with family expectations
Image credits: EyeEm / freepik (not the actual photo)
She was made to feel like the villain for setting boundaries
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: zinkevych / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Whole_Plenty9107
Women have the right to choose their own care and support
Research shows that the delivery room itself can shape a woman’s experience — a stressful setting can make the labor harder. “A safe, trusting, and supportive birthing environment is more likely to offer women what has been identified as requirements for a positive birth experience,” one study notes.
Many women also feel that it is their right to choose care providers during childbirth.
“The pregnant person is fully capable of making the decisions that seem best for themselves and their baby, and this freedom of choice and decision-making power must never be taken away from them, regardless of the context,” says licensed practical nurse Emmanuel André.
Experts say that partners should respect the birthing parent’s choices and also support them emotionally during this important moment.
“During labor, birth partners can support the pregnant woman or person by… advocating, supporting decisions, and protecting from intrusions,” National Childbirth Trust experts say.
In this woman’s case, the fiancé clearly fell short. Instead of trying to make her comfortable, he sided with his mother and pressured her to “compromise.” At a time when emotional support should have been his top priority, the fiancé failed to deliver.
Partner support can make a big difference
According to a study, around 5% to 8% of mothers are believed to have an anxiety disorder during pregnancy and postpartum. The pressures of labor and caring for a newborn can make these feelings even stronger.
Another study found that pregnant women who had support from their partners were calmer after delivery, and their infants seemed less distressed.
A quick search on Reddit brings up several women sharing similar stories — where partners demand that their own mothers be present in the delivery room or allow them to interfere with how the pregnancy and birth should be handled.
While some women are able to set clear boundaries, others struggle to do so since they are already physically exhausted and are going through emotional ups and downs during pregnancy.
Experts say this kind of pressure can have severe emotional effects in the long run, especially when the woman feels her comfort is not a priority.
Her story sparked strong reactions
People asked the woman to prioritize her own health and comfort
Many shared their own experiences to support her
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Upstaged75 1 day ago (edited)
There was another story like this and the preggo woman said she'd do it if her husband would let HER mom watch him get a colonoscopy. It's basically the same thing. Frankly I'd leave him and his whole toxic family. It's NOT the MIL's baby to bond with! If he continues to push this boundary I wouldn't even let HIM be there for the birth. Why are people so dang crazy?? My mom waited a month to see her 1st grandchild - and he adores her. No one else has the right to demand what you do with your own body!
winterwidow87 1 day ago (edited)
Why do i feel like he thinks it's no big deal because he has no idea women often shît themselves during child delivery? This guy has seen childbirth in movies, where women with perfect make up deliver perfectly clean kids that are already 2 years old, and thinks "well this isn't that bad, my mum can definitely watch this". The mother in law having gone through child birth herself should know better. Also wťf does it mean she's preventing her from bonding with the child? You have plenty of time to bond, it doesn't have to be when the baby is fresh out of his mother's vägina.
The Starsong Princess 1 day ago
Tell him that you are compromising- you are letting him attend the birth. But if he keeps it up, he won’t be attending either. You need to be very clear to him, his mother and their flying monkeys that this is your baby and you are in charge.
Ace 1 day ago (edited)
I always assumed (when I was younger) that it was the mother who wanted the the father to be present. Only in more recent years did it occur to me that the fathers actually wanted to be there. (Caveat: not a father, never wanted kids, brought up with films displaying expectant fathers waiting outside for a nurse to come tell them when the baby had been delivered). And even when I understood they may actually want to be present, my assumption is not that they'd be down at the end of the bed watching the gory details. Surely they'd be next to mom holding her hand and offering reassuring words (or being there to be cursed at, perhaps)?
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Upstaged75 1 day ago (edited)
There was another story like this and the preggo woman said she'd do it if her husband would let HER mom watch him get a colonoscopy. It's basically the same thing. Frankly I'd leave him and his whole toxic family. It's NOT the MIL's baby to bond with! If he continues to push this boundary I wouldn't even let HIM be there for the birth. Why are people so dang crazy?? My mom waited a month to see her 1st grandchild - and he adores her. No one else has the right to demand what you do with your own body!
winterwidow87 1 day ago (edited)
Why do i feel like he thinks it's no big deal because he has no idea women often shît themselves during child delivery? This guy has seen childbirth in movies, where women with perfect make up deliver perfectly clean kids that are already 2 years old, and thinks "well this isn't that bad, my mum can definitely watch this". The mother in law having gone through child birth herself should know better. Also wťf does it mean she's preventing her from bonding with the child? You have plenty of time to bond, it doesn't have to be when the baby is fresh out of his mother's vägina.
The Starsong Princess 1 day ago
Tell him that you are compromising- you are letting him attend the birth. But if he keeps it up, he won’t be attending either. You need to be very clear to him, his mother and their flying monkeys that this is your baby and you are in charge.
Ace 1 day ago (edited)
I always assumed (when I was younger) that it was the mother who wanted the the father to be present. Only in more recent years did it occur to me that the fathers actually wanted to be there. (Caveat: not a father, never wanted kids, brought up with films displaying expectant fathers waiting outside for a nurse to come tell them when the baby had been delivered). And even when I understood they may actually want to be present, my assumption is not that they'd be down at the end of the bed watching the gory details. Surely they'd be next to mom holding her hand and offering reassuring words (or being there to be cursed at, perhaps)?
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