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Lots of people might say that their mom is their best friend. If they have a close relationship, love spending time together and open up to one another about anything and everything, it might truly feel like they’re BFFs. But being too close with your children can become an issue if it starts to hinder their personal relationships…
One woman recently reached out to Reddit for advice after her fiancé’s mother decided that the bride shouldn’t be wearing white to her own wedding. Below, you’ll find the full story of this family drama, as well as some of the replies readers shared.
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Bride and fiancé holding hands in a field at sunset, highlighting wedding attire and nature.
In-laws aren’t always welcoming towards new members of the family
It’s certainly not uncommon for women to have issues with their mother-in-law. In fact, a study by psychologist Terri Apter found that a whopping 75% of couples admit that they’ve had issues with an in-law. But why exactly is this? Aren’t we supposed to be on our best behavior with people that we’re not technically related to?
Madeleine A. Fugère, PhD, explained in a blog post for Psychology Today that one reason for this family drama might be the fact that parents often have an idea of who they want their child to end up with. If the partner that their child chooses is a freelance artist, rather than a prestigious lawyer, Mom and Dad might have a hard time accepting them into the family.
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Or, perhaps the person chosen to join the family comes from a less affluent background. If your parents have always pictured you ending up with someone who goes to the same country club as them, they might be less than welcoming. But Fugère also notes that their discomfort may have to do with how you look.
If someone is too attractive, their partner’s parents might be intimidated by them. Or perhaps, they’ll wonder if they’re actually going to be faithful to their beloved child. And when it comes to mothers of men in particular, Fugère says that these “boy moms” sometimes discourage romantic relationships without even realizing.
If a mother is close with her son, she might have a hard time accepting the fact that she won’t be the most important woman in his life anymore. She may try to drive a wedge between her son and his partner in an attempt to bring him closer to her once again.
It’s never fair for parents to control their children
While the mom in this story might believe that she’s simply a concerned and loving mother, many commented that her behavior towards her son is inappropriate. And she might be exhibiting signs of a form of emotional manipulation.
According to Charlie Health, it’s unhealthy for parents to overshare details of their romantic relationships with their children, discuss their marital issues with their kids, put their own emotional needs above their child’s needs, become jealous of their child’s relationships and make their child feel guilty for not agreeing with all of their demands.
Why do parents act this way towards their kids? Well, they might be struggling with unresolved mental health issues, have never learned healthy boundaries, have trust issues or not have access to a support system. But those aren’t valid excuses to take advantage of their children or manipulate their emotions.
When parents use their kids in these ways, it can hinder the child’s ability to develop healthy emotional boundaries. So instead of telling his mother “no,” the man in this story may have felt like he had to accept whatever she asked of him, no matter what. Adults might also struggle making their own decisions if they were raised in a household where they were treated this way by Mom and Dad.
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We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this bride was overreacting, or was she right to set boundaries with her fiancé’s mother? Feel free to weigh in. Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar themes right here!
Readers applauded the woman for setting boundaries and wished her luck before her conversation with her fiancé’s mother
Reddit comments discussing a fiancé's request for the bride to avoid a white wedding dress to please his mom.
Text on a forum discussing a fiancé's request regarding a non-white wedding dress to appease his mom.
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Comments discussing a fiancé asking the bride not to wear a white wedding dress for his mom's comfort.
Text exchange about wedding dress color and family comfort.
Reddit thread discussing wedding dress dilemma with concerned comments.
Text conversation about wedding dress color request to make future mother-in-law comfortable.
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Comment about fiancé's decision on wedding dress color to appease his mom.
Text comment discussing support for sticking to one's word and being true to oneself.
Comment discussing a fiancé's request on wedding dress color for comfort.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a fiancé's request for a non-white wedding dress to appease his mother.
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Reddit comment discussing fiancé's request about wedding dress for his mom's comfort.
Text response about fiancé asking bride not to wear a white wedding dress for mom's comfort.
Screenshot of a comment discussing a fiancé's request about the bride's wedding dress for his mother's comfort.
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Screenshot of a comment discussing wedding dress preferences and the suggestion of postponing the wedding.
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Finally, the bride came back with one last update
Couple in a car, wearing seatbelts, discussing wedding attire options for family comfort.
Readers poured out support for the woman in the replies
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Reddit comment addressing emotional dynamics in family related to wedding attire.
Comment supporting John and his marriage, mentioning therapy advocacy and wishing happiness.
Comment discussing wedding dress choice for bride to please fiancé's mom.
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Comment about mothers and daughters creating "debbies," with humor highlighted.
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Reddit comment discussing a fiancé's request for the bride not to wear a white wedding dress for his mom's comfort.
Comment on fiancé's mom being uncomfortable, highlighting tension in wedding dress choice.
Comment discussing a bride's choice of wedding dress color for comfort.
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Reddit comment discussing trust issues and family dynamics related to a fiancé's wedding dress request.
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Comment advising a bride on handling her fiancé's family issues for a peaceful wedding.
Comment praising John for overcoming toxic parents to improve.
Social media post discussing a fiancé's wedding dress request to make his mom comfortable.
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Reddit comment offering advice on handling family dynamics and wedding dress concerns.
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Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about three years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.
Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about three years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.
You just watched John confront every weapon his mother as been throwing at him to flip flop over the years. I was in hospital when I heard one nurse reporting to another that a Covid patient was saying she had difficulty breathing. The senior nurse said "A patient who was really struggling wouldn't be able to say that". Lol. John may find it of comfort to understand that *shouting* "I can't breathe" means that his mother is fine.
Exactly! All these "Karens" that get worked up over nothing and then "I can't breathe!!!" Sure you can! You're talking aren't you?? If you couldn't breathe, you wouldn't be talking!" I have bad asthma... I get it!
dont forget the "you pushed me" after throwing themselves to the ground. happened to my friend the other day. the way she threw herself to the ground was ridiculous. all i could think was how not only did my friend not move at all but if they pushed her she go backwards not drop straight down.
I have cough variant asthma, it feels like I have an elephant sitting on my chest, and I cough and cough and nothing comes up with it, and my oxygen level is usually 98, it drops to 95-96, still "normal" range, and I can talk, but I feel the wheeze, but it's not audible except on a stethoscope. It's one of the least known forms of asthma.
You just watched John confront every weapon his mother as been throwing at him to flip flop over the years. I was in hospital when I heard one nurse reporting to another that a Covid patient was saying she had difficulty breathing. The senior nurse said "A patient who was really struggling wouldn't be able to say that". Lol. John may find it of comfort to understand that *shouting* "I can't breathe" means that his mother is fine.
Exactly! All these "Karens" that get worked up over nothing and then "I can't breathe!!!" Sure you can! You're talking aren't you?? If you couldn't breathe, you wouldn't be talking!" I have bad asthma... I get it!
dont forget the "you pushed me" after throwing themselves to the ground. happened to my friend the other day. the way she threw herself to the ground was ridiculous. all i could think was how not only did my friend not move at all but if they pushed her she go backwards not drop straight down.
I have cough variant asthma, it feels like I have an elephant sitting on my chest, and I cough and cough and nothing comes up with it, and my oxygen level is usually 98, it drops to 95-96, still "normal" range, and I can talk, but I feel the wheeze, but it's not audible except on a stethoscope. It's one of the least known forms of asthma.
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