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“[Am I The Jerk] For Telling My Son’s Girlfriend To Stay Away From Him?”
Teenage couple embracing outdoors, illustrating a dad banning 15YO son from seeing his girlfriend amid study distractions.

“[Am I The Jerk] For Telling My Son’s Girlfriend To Stay Away From Him?”

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When you were in high school, what was your priority? Dating and having fun or having good grades? My grandma, for example, always believed that studying was way more important, and I sometimes totally disagreed with her. Well, now, as a father myself, I understand her better, but still, you must admit, some balance is needed.

It seems to me that the author of our story today, the user u/ihopeididnotf**kup, would have found a common language with my granny. At least, in an effort to prevent his son’s grades from slipping, he did what the old lady never did—he lashed out at the son’s girlfriend and even kicked her out of his house.

More info: Reddit

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    The author of the post is a 50-year-old single dad, and his 15-year-old son has good grades in the high school

    Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The boy is also a great sportsman, so the dad is very proud of him

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    Image credits: ihopeididnotf**kup

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    Image credits: branin / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Recently, the boy started dating a 17-year-old girl, and at first, the dad was just happy for him

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    Image credits: ihopeididnotf**kup

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    Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    But then the student’s grades slip, so the dad figured that his new girlfriend was the reason

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    Image credits: ihopeididnotf**kup

    Image credits: drobotdean / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The dad urged the son to break up with her – and the son agreed, but as it turned out later, he just lied

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    Image credits: ihopeididnotf**kup

    After running into them in his own house, the man first lashed out at the girl and then kicked her out

    So, it’s all very simple. The Original poster (OP) is a 50-year-old single dad, and his son has rather decent grades for his age of 15 and plays for the school’s baseball team. Well, the dad is simply proud of the boy—the same proud he was when the son recently told him he was dating a girl years older than him. But soon, the dad’s joy turned to disappointment.

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    Our hero saw that his son’s studies and sports were starting to suffer and demanded that he stop dating this girl. The boy promised, but a couple of days later, the dad found them together on the couch in his own house. The author simply sent the son upstairs and pounced on the girl with reproaches that she was harming the boy’s studies. She burst into tears, and then our hero simply kicked her out.

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    It seems this is a typical story of a tyrant father, but no. Having published this story on the Internet and quite predictably receiving tons of criticism from netizens, our hero found the strength to admit his mistake and tried to play it all back. He talked to his son, apologized, and invited his girlfriend to visit them. She accepted the invitation – and they talked about everything at the table.

    The author admitted that some of his old mental complexes came to the surface and that he was wrong. He apologized to the girl, too—and lo and behold, it turned out that she also had good grades. What’s more, she herself had a car and volunteered to give her boyfriend a ride to baseball. In general, all three parted on good terms, and the man sincerely hopes that the girl no longer holds a grudge against him.

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    Image credits: williamdondyk / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    “If this man is raising his son on his own, then it’s quite possible that he is simply doing everything to raise a decent person – and in these attempts, he has purely overdone it,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. “Because such a sharp reaction, no matter how indignant he was at his son’s lies, is completely unjustified.”

    “Be that as it may, I am also quite surprised that this father didn’t remember himself in his youth. After all, this age is characterized by non-conformism in almost any area. So the only thing this man would have achieved if he had continued to persist in his anger is literally the opposite of the expected result.”

    “To his credit, the man was able to show flexibility and admit his own mistakes. He tried to fix the damage that his outburst of anger did to his son and the relationships. Let’s hope that everything will be fine here. In the end, it’s worth praising more not the person who doesn’t make mistakes, but the one who knows how to admit them and learn from them,” Irina concludes.

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    As I said, people in the comments initially criticized the original poster, urging him to remember what he was like in his teen years. Responders also assured that the man’s aggression only made things worse. But after the author explained what followed next, the commenters actually changed their wrath to mercy. So what about you, our dear readers?

    However, after taking heat from netizens, the man admitted his mistake and did his best to mend fences with the son and his girlfriend

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    Poll Question

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    Oleg Tarasenko

    Oleg Tarasenko

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

    Read less »
    Oleg Tarasenko

    Oleg Tarasenko

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

    What do you think ?
    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This guy's a shining example of what good parenting looks like. Few adults apologize to kids. And it shows - look what the kid's girlfriend is - it shows the caliber of the child he raised. I have little doubt mom and auntie had a great deal to do with the divorce.

    Papa
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I suspect the fact that the mother was a d**g a****t who walked out on them and no longer has contact might have had something to do with the divorce also.

    Load More Replies...
    Ellinor
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's a really good dad. He : realised his mistakes, apologised, listened, communicated, and offered a safe place to this girl and his son... Yep, a really, really good dad.

    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apart from the attitude that he had to correct in the first place.

    Load More Replies...
    Just Another Karen
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i love how this ended. at first he was being an AH, but he managed to talk to everyone and set boundaries. this is important! prohibition won't do any good. you should always talk, listen to, and develop tools. happy to know he is going to look for a psychologist.

    Load More Comments
    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This guy's a shining example of what good parenting looks like. Few adults apologize to kids. And it shows - look what the kid's girlfriend is - it shows the caliber of the child he raised. I have little doubt mom and auntie had a great deal to do with the divorce.

    Papa
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I suspect the fact that the mother was a d**g a****t who walked out on them and no longer has contact might have had something to do with the divorce also.

    Load More Replies...
    Ellinor
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's a really good dad. He : realised his mistakes, apologised, listened, communicated, and offered a safe place to this girl and his son... Yep, a really, really good dad.

    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apart from the attitude that he had to correct in the first place.

    Load More Replies...
    Just Another Karen
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i love how this ended. at first he was being an AH, but he managed to talk to everyone and set boundaries. this is important! prohibition won't do any good. you should always talk, listen to, and develop tools. happy to know he is going to look for a psychologist.

    Load More Comments
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