“[Am I The Jerk] For Telling My Son’s Girlfriend To Stay Away From Him?”

When you were in high school, what was your priority? Dating and having fun or having good grades? My grandma, for example, always believed that studying was way more important, and I sometimes totally disagreed with her. Well, now, as a father myself, I understand her better, but still, you must admit, some balance is needed.

It seems to me that the author of our story today, the user u/ihopeididnotf**kup, would have found a common language with my granny. At least, in an effort to prevent his son’s grades from slipping, he did what the old lady never did—he lashed out at the son’s girlfriend and even kicked her out of his house.

More info: Reddit

The author of the post is a 50-year-old single dad, and his 15-year-old son has good grades in the high school

Teen couple together, despite dad's ban due to slipping grades, standing in front of a brick wall.

Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The boy is also a great sportsman, so the dad is very proud of him

Dad talks about banning son from seeing girlfriend due to slipping grades and reasons for his decision.

Dad discusses son's new girlfriend and impact on his grades.

Text discussing a father's reaction as his son's grades slip due to seeing his girlfriend.

Text discussing son's grades slipping due to relationship distractions.

Father comments on son's dating priorities, emphasizing academics and activities.

Dad bans son from seeing girlfriend due to slipping grades, conversation text excerpt about the conflict.

Dad catches son with girlfriend after banning them for slipping grades, finds them together on the couch.

Text screenshot of a dad sternly warning son’s girlfriend to stay away due to slipping grades distraction.

Image credits: ihopeididnotf**kup

Man in a distressed pose in living room, with woman on sofa, discussing son's grades and relationship issues.

Image credits: branin / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Recently, the boy started dating a 17-year-old girl, and at first, the dad was just happy for him

Text message shows a dad's frustration as his son's grades slip due to his girlfriend.

Dad frustrated explaining actions after son’s grades slip due to girlfriend distractions.

Father explains decision to ban son from seeing girlfriend due to slipping grades.

Text about seeking an unbiased opinion after a dad bans son from seeing girlfriend due to slipping grades.

Text message expressing gratitude for a much-needed attitude adjustment amid son's grades slipping due to relationship.

Text describing a dad reflecting on banning his son from seeing his girlfriend due to slipping grades.

Text about dad's regret for scolding son's GF after learning son didn't inform her about visitation rules.

Image credits: ihopeididnotf**kup

Teen girl looking concerned with hands on face, brick wall in background.

Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)

But then the student’s grades slip, so the dad figured that his new girlfriend was the reason

Text about stress and trauma due to work and past relationship breakup, expressing a need for therapy.

Text discussing a dad addressing his son's slipping grades, setting fair rules to balance study and relationship.

Text discussing a dad's concerns about his son sneaking around despite a relationship ban.

Dad shows son comments; son laughs at dad being roasted, related to son's grades slipping due to girlfriend.

Text reading an update may be posted this week after dinner, with thanks given.

Son texts dad about girlfriend's dinner acceptance despite ban due to grades slipping.

Text reading: "Hey, folks, thanks for sticking around through this mess, alright so let's get to it.

Text from a dad discussing an apology to his son's girlfriend over dinner after a past dispute.

Text statement about a son’s grades slipping, dad explains the situation to son's girlfriend, who is academically accomplished.

Image credits: ihopeididnotf**kup

Teen couple smiling at a table with coffee, disregarding dad's ban due to grades slipping.

Image credits: drobotdean / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The dad urged the son to break up with her – and the son agreed, but as it turned out later, he just lied

Text: "Turns out my son has been, well, 'downplaying' to her just how bad he's been slacking off to her." Focus on son's slipping grades.

Text discussing a father managing his son's accountability with help from his girlfriend.

Text mentioning helping a son study to improve his grades.

Text about household chores and a son's dirty laundry humor.

Text discussing a son agreeing to do better at household chores.

Text about dad discussing son's grades and girlfriend, emphasizing effective conversation over lecturing.

Text describing a dad's thoughts on banning his son from seeing his girlfriend due to slipping grades.

Text about an angry dad expected on doorstep, reflecting tension over son's grades and girlfriend.

Dad discusses letting son and girlfriend hang out at home under conditions, joking about future plans and safety.

Dad reflects on son's first love, jokingly advises him after girlfriend leaves, expressing pride and happiness.

Text thanking subreddit community for their advice and course correction.

Text discussing forgiveness after a situation involving dad banning son from girlfriend due to grades.

Image credits: ihopeididnotf**kup

After running into them in his own house, the man first lashed out at the girl and then kicked her out

So, it’s all very simple. The Original poster (OP) is a 50-year-old single dad, and his son has rather decent grades for his age of 15 and plays for the school’s baseball team. Well, the dad is simply proud of the boy—the same proud he was when the son recently told him he was dating a girl years older than him. But soon, the dad’s joy turned to disappointment.

Our hero saw that his son’s studies and sports were starting to suffer and demanded that he stop dating this girl. The boy promised, but a couple of days later, the dad found them together on the couch in his own house. The author simply sent the son upstairs and pounced on the girl with reproaches that she was harming the boy’s studies. She burst into tears, and then our hero simply kicked her out.

It seems this is a typical story of a tyrant father, but no. Having published this story on the Internet and quite predictably receiving tons of criticism from netizens, our hero found the strength to admit his mistake and tried to play it all back. He talked to his son, apologized, and invited his girlfriend to visit them. She accepted the invitation – and they talked about everything at the table.

The author admitted that some of his old mental complexes came to the surface and that he was wrong. He apologized to the girl, too—and lo and behold, it turned out that she also had good grades. What’s more, she herself had a car and volunteered to give her boyfriend a ride to baseball. In general, all three parted on good terms, and the man sincerely hopes that the girl no longer holds a grudge against him.

Father discusses grades with son holding a tablet, illustrating tension over son's girlfriend.

Image credits: williamdondyk / Freepik (not the actual photo)

“If this man is raising his son on his own, then it’s quite possible that he is simply doing everything to raise a decent person – and in these attempts, he has purely overdone it,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. “Because such a sharp reaction, no matter how indignant he was at his son’s lies, is completely unjustified.”

“Be that as it may, I am also quite surprised that this father didn’t remember himself in his youth. After all, this age is characterized by non-conformism in almost any area. So the only thing this man would have achieved if he had continued to persist in his anger is literally the opposite of the expected result.”

“To his credit, the man was able to show flexibility and admit his own mistakes. He tried to fix the damage that his outburst of anger did to his son and the relationships. Let’s hope that everything will be fine here. In the end, it’s worth praising more not the person who doesn’t make mistakes, but the one who knows how to admit them and learn from them,” Irina concludes.

As I said, people in the comments initially criticized the original poster, urging him to remember what he was like in his teen years. Responders also assured that the man’s aggression only made things worse. But after the author explained what followed next, the commenters actually changed their wrath to mercy. So what about you, our dear readers?

However, after taking heat from netizens, the man admitted his mistake and did his best to mend fences with the son and his girlfriend

Comments on dad banning son from seeing girlfriend due to slipping grades, and son's reaction to the situation.

Comment discusses challenges of forbidden romance and parental support.

Comment criticizing a dad for banning his son from seeing his girlfriend due to slipping grades.

Comment criticizing dad for banning son's girlfriend and blaming son for grades slipping.

Comment criticizing dad's reaction to son's girlfriend amidst slipping grades.

Screenshot of a comment questioning a dad's actions for banning son's girlfriend and speaking harshly.

Reddit comment criticizing a father for banning his son from seeing his girlfriend due to slipping grades.

Comment by Single_Virgo_of_1978 criticizing a dad for banning son from seeing girlfriend due to slipping grades.

Text comment discussing grades slipping and skipping chores.

Text criticizing a dad's harsh reaction to his son's slipping grades and banning him from seeing his girlfriend.

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