“Dinner Got Pretty Quiet”: Dad Keeps Doubting Biologist Daughter, She Tells Him She Knows Better
I believe many of us hate the feeling when we know something for a fact but people still think that they know better. It may be something that you discuss with friends, online with random netizens, or with family. However, probably the most annoying is being doubted by your family members about something that you, in fact, have a few degrees in and are passionate about.
For example, one Reddit user shared her story online after being doubted by her father while she was talking about her work. Despite his concerns, she assured him that she knew better and this caused quite a bit of family drama.
More info: Reddit
In most cases, if the person keeps talking about their work that they are professionals in, they will know better about it than you, so there’s no need to doubt their knowledge
Image credits: August de Richelieu (not the actual photo)
This woman shared that she’s a wildlife biologist, has a Master’s degree in it, and is very passionate about this field
Image credits: Polina Zimmerman (not the actual photo)
When she was visiting her family, her mom asked her to share something about her work and she excitedly started telling them about her current research
Image credits: Marcus Aurelius (not the actual photo)
However, the issue started when her father began replying to almost everything that she said by commenting that he’s not sure about that
Image credits: u/SchemeLong4640
The woman finally lost it and told him that she knows for sure, given her degrees, but ended up being called disrespectful and then was scolded for ‘talking back’
A few days ago, one Reddit user shared her story online asking community members to share their opinions about her situation. After her dad’s constant doubts about her current research, she failed to ignore it and took it personally. The post caught a lot of attention, collecting 21K upvotes and over 3K comments.
The original poster (OP) started her story by sharing that she’s a wildlife biologist, has a Master’s degree in it, and is passionate about it. Recently, she was visiting her family and was asked to share about her work and she happily talked about her current research. However, instead of support or interest, her dad kept responding to everything critically, doubting her knowledge.
OP noted that she tried to ignore it but eventually lost it and responded that she is sure about what she is saying due to her degrees, etc. She emphasized that she said it in a light tone but her dad didn’t take it well. She was immediately accused of being disrespectful. She added that on the way back, she even got a phone call from mom asking why she needed to ‘talk back’ to her dad.
The community members gave the woman the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge in this situation and discussed this family dynamic being pretty common. “NTA, your dad is obviously uncomfortable with the idea of you being an authority. Many older gen folks without education feel threatened by being perceived as ignorant so they posture as compensation,” one user shared. “Your father is an ‘armchair expert’ by the sounds of it. Thinks he knows everything about everything. He obviously didn’t like it that you know more about XYZ than he does,” another added.
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Probably many of us enjoy hearing people say that they are proud of us. It reassures us that all of our hard work is paying off and seeing our family, friends and all of our loved ones’ acknowledgement proves how proud of us they are. And well, this phrase may seem not important to many, but hearing others saying that they are proud of us – trust me, it means a lot to many.
For example, Bryce Shafer, Design Editor of The Collegian wrote that telling people that you are proud of them shows that you value them as a person in addition to their success. A person may remember the phrase long after the actual words have been spoken. Saying this phrase requires almost no effort, but can mean a great deal to someone who might be stagnating.
While all of us have different goals and different achievements, everyone deserves to be praised for their hard work – whether it’s for finally reaching your goal, finishing school, university or getting into your dream college. It can come from your friends, family or employees – it definitely gives us a boost and makes us feel valued.
However, looking a little bit from a different side – it’s no secret that many folks feel pressure to make their parents proud and aim to finally hear it coming from their parents. Mina in Medium emphasized that we put undue pressure on ourselves and make assumptions about what things we have to do in order to please our parents.
“I need to have good grades then they will be proud. I need to go to a good university then they will be proud. I need to get a good job, or their desired job, or even follow in their footsteps then they will be proud. But have we asked ourselves why we want to make our parents proud? “she wrote.
She emphasized that it’s very harmful for children to live by the philosophy that their parents should be proud of them. Parents need to be very clear to their kids that they are not putting any pressure on them in any way; instead, they should embrace them for who they are and be there to watch over the adult that they are becoming.
But what do you guys think about this story? Do you think the woman was in fact rude for talking back to her dad? Share your thoughts below!
Redditors assured the woman that she was not wrong in this situation and scolded her father
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Must have been fun growing up in that house. Dad thinking he knows it all and mom enabling him so he won't feel "disrespected".
I've seen parents where it seemed like the mother resented kids who stirred things up with Dad, because she was left to deal with Dad's anger after the kids left. It's really sad to see that family dynamic
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I have 4 older siblings plus one of my brothers' GF who all think they know better than me in anything. Anything I have several diplomas of, anything in passing (it doesn't take 20/20 to be able to drive a car), anything! The worst is the GF and doesn't believe anything at all, even the simplest stuff like having soft-boiled eggs you just need to cook them less. FFS. I can't bring any facts to the table without me being shut down. I'm tired. Two years before COVID-19, I decided I had enough and I went no contact.
A******s don’t typically like being put in their place. Glad she spoke up for herself
Must have been fun growing up in that house. Dad thinking he knows it all and mom enabling him so he won't feel "disrespected".
I've seen parents where it seemed like the mother resented kids who stirred things up with Dad, because she was left to deal with Dad's anger after the kids left. It's really sad to see that family dynamic
Load More Replies... I have 4 older siblings plus one of my brothers' GF who all think they know better than me in anything. Anything I have several diplomas of, anything in passing (it doesn't take 20/20 to be able to drive a car), anything! The worst is the GF and doesn't believe anything at all, even the simplest stuff like having soft-boiled eggs you just need to cook them less. FFS. I can't bring any facts to the table without me being shut down. I'm tired. Two years before COVID-19, I decided I had enough and I went no contact.
A******s don’t typically like being put in their place. Glad she spoke up for herself
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