“AITA For Asking My Husband To Prioritize Our Family Tradition Over His New Friendship?”

Creating traditions with your partner is a wonderful way to bond. The first time you do something, you have no way of knowing that it will become a necessary outing in the future. But if you decide to turn that special little trip to look at Christmas lights and drink mulled wine into an annual event, it becomes even more magical every single year!

That’s why one woman was looking forward to the beloved outing that she and her husband have been going on every year they’ve been together. But when her husband asked if they could postpone the adventure, she reached out to Reddit for advice. Below, you’ll find the full story, including suggestions that readers chimed in with.    

This woman looks forward to the annual tradition she has with her husband all year long

A couple discussing family traditions and new friendships on a couch in a living room.

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

So when he asked if it could be postponed this year, she was extremely disappointed

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Later, the woman shared an update with a bit more information on the situation

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Image credits: Miserable-Light-3444

She also responded to readers to provide more details

Reddit discussion on family tradition vs. new friendship priorities.

Creating traditions together is a great way for couples to stay connected

Traditions don’t just form overnight. But once you notice that you’ve created one, it feels like a magical creature that you have to keep alive. We must order pizza every time the power goes out in our building, and we have to create a painting together every year on Christmas! If we don’t keep our own traditions alive, who will?

While traditions should be formed organically, rather than forced, they can be a wonderful tool for growing closer to your partner. Dr. William J. Doherty at Boyle Counseling notes that rituals are important for keeping a strong connection with your partner. 

Even small, simple daily rituals like having a cup of coffee together before work or recapping your days to one another in bed before falling asleep can be extremely comforting. The two of you can always look forward to these small moments that say “I love you” without using those exact words.

We can enjoy traditions with our partners year round, but many couples look forward to enjoying these special moments during the holiday season. Kari Rusnak, MA, LPC, CMHC, at Psychology Today shared that enjoying traditions with your partner during this time of year can help alleviate some of the holiday stress. 

Making time to be present with your partner and focusing only on enjoying a Christmas film, decorating cookies together, drinking hot chocolate and playing board games or walking around and looking at holiday lights can be extremely relaxing. You don’t have to worry about shopping, decorating or finishing all of your work before New Year’s. You can simply focus on being with the person you love and making new memories.

Even simple, daily rituals can become a way to say “I love you”

Couple embracing happily in a modern living room, symbolizing family tradition versus friendship priorities.

Image credits: lookstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The two of you can enjoy traditions that you used to partake in with each of your families or create your own! It doesn’t matter; as long as you feel connected, the tradition is serving its purpose. But if you’re wondering how to form these rituals with your partner, The Wed recommends starting simple and focusing on your shared values and interests. 

If you both hate arts and crafts, you probably won’t want to go to a pottery class together. And if one of you isn’t into sports, a physical activity might not be ideal. But if you love the same type of music, you might enjoy making playlists for each other every month or so. Or perhaps you can attend a concert every month and turn it into a fun date. 

The Wed also notes that you don’t need to worry about something becoming a ritual or tradition immediately. Feel it out, and see how much you enjoyed the experience. If it wasn’t as much fun as you expected, you don’t have to repeat it. But if you find that you’re always craving pizza on Sunday evenings, making pizza with your partner might be the perfect way to welcome in each new week.

And if you do have a special experience, don’t hesitate to snap a few photos or take a video of the occasion. You don’t want to spend the entire time on your phone or behind your camera, of course, but it can be extremely special to have photos to look back on to remind you of the experience.   

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think it was reasonable for this woman to ask her husband to postpone his trip instead of their annual tradition? Feel free to share, and then if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda article discussing traditions, look no further than right here!   

Some readers took the woman’s side, noting that it’s understandable why she didn’t want to postpone the special tradition

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Reddit comment discussing family tradition over new friendship.

And others noted that neither party was in the wrong, while suggesting that the wife try to be more flexible

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Reddit comment discussing prioritizing family traditions over forming new friendships.

However, some readers thought that the woman was being unreasonable

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Finally, the author shared another update after talking everything through with her husband

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Image credits: katemangostar / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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