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“I Went Too Far”: Parent Cancels Thanksgiving After Family Refuses To Follow Simple Rule
As much as we love the holidays and joyful family gatherings, planning them can be incredibly stressful. For this Redditor, the Thanksgiving they were set to host this year started going off the rails well before the big night.
Hoping to protect their child with a medical condition, they asked relatives to follow just one simple rule: don’t come if you’re feeling sick. But when no one took the request seriously, things quickly spiraled into full-blown family drama. Read on for the full story.
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For Thanksgiving this year, the host asked their relatives to skip dinner if they were feeling sick
Image credits: drazenphoto/Envato (not the actual photo)
But when no one took the request seriously, it sparked a full-blown family drama
Image credits: graziegranata/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Laura_antonela
What families fight about when they fight on Thanksgiving
Image credits: anontae2522/Envato (not the actual photo)
On paper, Thanksgiving is supposed to be about giving thanks, but for many Americans, it’s often one of the year’s rowdiest gatherings. Alongside the cheerful conversations and hearty turkey feasts, there’s almost an expectation of being pulled into a family disagreement. And for OP, this holiday season seems to be no exception.
In fact, a USA TODAY Blueprint survey from last year found that out of 2,000 adults, only 12 percent reported never having family arguments on Thanksgiving. Over half (51 percent) said the top trigger for conflicts was “family issues.” Coming in close were politics (48 percent) and money (47 percent). Other tricky topics that tend to stir up tension included children and parenting approaches (37 percent) and religion (29 percent).
The survey also revealed that some family members are more likely to start a quarrel than others. Dads ranked first, with 38 percent of respondents saying they were the most likely to kick off a disagreement. Other likely candidates for starting a fuss were grandma (36 percent), grandpa (32 percent), aunt (31 percent), mom (27 percent), and uncle (23 percent).
How to keep the peace with relatives over the holidays
Image credits: Rawpixel/ Envato (not the actual photo)
If you’d rather skip the holiday squabbles, experts from Business Insider have a few tips. For one, you could give family members a heads-up in advance about which topics to avoid at the table. But if that’s not enough, and if your patience holds, it’s sometimes best to just let certain comments roll off your back.
“You have to understand the importance of the relationship. Is it actually worth winning the argument? Is it even worth hashing out?” says Keisha Saunders-Waldron, a licensed clinical mental health counselor supervisor. “And it could be worth hashing out when we’re talking about things where your value systems and core beliefs start to kick in—but if we know there is no resolution, and it’s not worth ending the relationship over, then we want to agree to disagree.”
If someone keeps pressing you, it’s important to set firm boundaries. “Those boundaries can sound like saying: ‘I’m not willing to continue to be badgered right now. So I have about two more minutes to talk to you before that I’m walking away, and I’m giving you the respect of letting you know that I’m walking away,’” adds Saunders-Waldron.
Humor can also work wonders to ease the situation, or, as radical as it might sound, you can apologize if you feel you crossed a line. And if things reach a point where nothing seems to help, remember you can always make a polite exit.
“I think grace is a big deal in this whole topic because you don’t want to alienate from your family,” says Risha Grant, international speaker, DEI consultant, and best-selling author. “I would still give everybody a hug on the way out—maybe not the person I’m pissed off at—but grandma, grandpa, I’d say ‘I love all of you so much. It was great up until this time, but I refuse to put myself or my loved ones in this situation. Maybe we’ll come back tomorrow and see you.’”
Many commenters supported the parent, saying the other relatives were being incredibly irresponsible
A few, though, argued that it wasn’t wise to plan the dinner in the first place
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What do you think ?
Libstak 1 year ago
The YTA trolls out in force again. Would it kill them to read properly where she pointed out she hosts thanksgiving every year and the expectation that she would again was ingrained before she made the sensible conditions to protect her child's health? This is family, she was simply assuming they would care enough about the welfare of their niece, nephew, cousin, grandchild etc to just appreciate the heads up to do the right thing. But all they cared about was THEIR thanksgiving. No doubt they are peeved they now have to fork out for their own thanksgiving meal themselves too.
Alex Mosby 1 year ago
I will forever look at most of my family differently after the pandemic. Non of them were skeptic or anti vaccines, they just had no regard for social distancing and anytime someone got sick, it was some one else's fault.
Libstak 1 year ago
I'm sorry that happened. I had a mixed bag. A crazy sister who had to do it so perfectly, nobody else could ever be a better sanitiser or social distancer than her, and on and on she went on about it. A nephew who thought it was all rubbish but let us follow the rules,Es without making a song and dance of it in his presence. Great nieces and their families and me, caring for 2 elderly that was happy to do what it took to keep them safe and had no time for any dramatics, too busy.
Load More Replies...
T.M.P Janssen 1 year ago
seriously, if I had a child and the doctor said "keep them away from anyone with flu sympoms" during autumn (like rn) and my family would react like THAT, they can go f**k themselves right away. Your every-year returning dinner is not worth my childs safety, go eat your Thanksgiving at a McDonalds then.
Laura Gillette 1 year ago
Growing up, I had a cousin with Cystic Fibrosis. His mom hosted most big holidays (she had the biggest house). Everyone in the extended family was required to have a flu shot at least 2 weeks before Thanksgiving, or you couldn't come. One year, he was sick, so Thanksgiving was canceled. No one complained. We all just had mini Thanksgivings with our respective immediate families that year. What is wrong with this family that they don't care about their family member? And a literal child at that?
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
"host was overreacting"? in what way is protecting an immuno suppressed child an overreaction? Fam are being selfish kuntz and are now pissy because one of them has got to host and cook instead. Gutz.
Michael MacKinnon 1 year ago
This is ***why*** we ended up needing vaccine mandates during the height of the pandemic: because entitled people refused to believe it was ***their*** actions that could put someone's life at risk. It also shows why the Monday-morning quarterbacks (saying "you should have just isolated those at risk, and let the rest of us live our lives") (often the same people) have it so blatantly wrong. The poster is right to be vigilant in the face of all this selfishness.
FluffyDreg 1 year ago
This. Sadly. Yes, you person. You not wearing a mask and no vaccine while shopping means youve left a trail that the private shopper my grandma hires picked up. That cart you used? The private shopper used the same one, meaning all the groceries she's now receiving has YOUR illness. Everyone else did everything they could. Got vaccines, wore masks, washed hands, but because YOU didn't, you killed my grandma.(Not this is an example of what could happen not what actually happened.) It's litterally impossible to 100% isolate people, and even if it was you'd then have to isolate every health care worker who works with the vulnerable. And every private shopper, and everyone who lives in the household of every private shopper. Oh also the people working the stores, so they can't spead it to the shoppers. The family of the workers.
Load More Replies...
Mrs.C 1 year ago
My uncle had a heart transplant after 30 years of bad health. Every year my aunt hosts Thanksgiving for her extended family and every year someone comes "not feeling quite right." Every year my uncle ends up sick for weeks after. It drives me insane! I was newly pregnant with our 1st after years of infertility. We were going to my grandmother's for Thanksgiving. A cousin's husband had cancer and was being treated with radioactive seeds implanted in his body. He could not be within 6 feet of a pregnant woman. Grandma called and asked if we would be comfortable with him there if he stayed away from me. Because it made us nervous, he and his wife decided they'd bring their luxury RV and he could hang out there and people could pop in and out (there were 20+ people- he was not going to be left alone ever). We all thought this was a fantastic compromise, except his MIL (grandma's sister). She shot me dirty looks and flat refused to speak to me all day and for nearly a year after.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
bit of a result when the selfish person opts out of speaking to you really.
Load More Replies...
Guess Undheit 1 year ago
The thousands of deaths from C-19 happened because of selfish ash soles went to events while sick, not telling anyone. Apparently none are smart enough to learn and too selfish to care if they kill a kid, just as long as it's not themselves.
Sathe Wesker 1 year ago
Aurgh! This makes me angry. I am Canadian so our thanksgiving has already passed and we missed it with my partners grandfather because my partner was sick and his grandfather is on a freaking oxygen tank (I’ve also been through this with my own father). It’s common freaking decency!! We just got over a pandemic and this is seriously how people will continue to react?!
Libstak 1 year ago
The YTA trolls out in force again. Would it kill them to read properly where she pointed out she hosts thanksgiving every year and the expectation that she would again was ingrained before she made the sensible conditions to protect her child's health? This is family, she was simply assuming they would care enough about the welfare of their niece, nephew, cousin, grandchild etc to just appreciate the heads up to do the right thing. But all they cared about was THEIR thanksgiving. No doubt they are peeved they now have to fork out for their own thanksgiving meal themselves too.
Alex Mosby 1 year ago
I will forever look at most of my family differently after the pandemic. Non of them were skeptic or anti vaccines, they just had no regard for social distancing and anytime someone got sick, it was some one else's fault.
Libstak 1 year ago
I'm sorry that happened. I had a mixed bag. A crazy sister who had to do it so perfectly, nobody else could ever be a better sanitiser or social distancer than her, and on and on she went on about it. A nephew who thought it was all rubbish but let us follow the rules,Es without making a song and dance of it in his presence. Great nieces and their families and me, caring for 2 elderly that was happy to do what it took to keep them safe and had no time for any dramatics, too busy.
Load More Replies... T.M.P Janssen 1 year ago
seriously, if I had a child and the doctor said "keep them away from anyone with flu sympoms" during autumn (like rn) and my family would react like THAT, they can go f**k themselves right away. Your every-year returning dinner is not worth my childs safety, go eat your Thanksgiving at a McDonalds then.
Laura Gillette 1 year ago
Growing up, I had a cousin with Cystic Fibrosis. His mom hosted most big holidays (she had the biggest house). Everyone in the extended family was required to have a flu shot at least 2 weeks before Thanksgiving, or you couldn't come. One year, he was sick, so Thanksgiving was canceled. No one complained. We all just had mini Thanksgivings with our respective immediate families that year. What is wrong with this family that they don't care about their family member? And a literal child at that?
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
"host was overreacting"? in what way is protecting an immuno suppressed child an overreaction? Fam are being selfish kuntz and are now pissy because one of them has got to host and cook instead. Gutz.
Michael MacKinnon 1 year ago
This is ***why*** we ended up needing vaccine mandates during the height of the pandemic: because entitled people refused to believe it was ***their*** actions that could put someone's life at risk. It also shows why the Monday-morning quarterbacks (saying "you should have just isolated those at risk, and let the rest of us live our lives") (often the same people) have it so blatantly wrong. The poster is right to be vigilant in the face of all this selfishness.
FluffyDreg 1 year ago
This. Sadly. Yes, you person. You not wearing a mask and no vaccine while shopping means youve left a trail that the private shopper my grandma hires picked up. That cart you used? The private shopper used the same one, meaning all the groceries she's now receiving has YOUR illness. Everyone else did everything they could. Got vaccines, wore masks, washed hands, but because YOU didn't, you killed my grandma.(Not this is an example of what could happen not what actually happened.) It's litterally impossible to 100% isolate people, and even if it was you'd then have to isolate every health care worker who works with the vulnerable. And every private shopper, and everyone who lives in the household of every private shopper. Oh also the people working the stores, so they can't spead it to the shoppers. The family of the workers.
Load More Replies... Mrs.C 1 year ago
My uncle had a heart transplant after 30 years of bad health. Every year my aunt hosts Thanksgiving for her extended family and every year someone comes "not feeling quite right." Every year my uncle ends up sick for weeks after. It drives me insane! I was newly pregnant with our 1st after years of infertility. We were going to my grandmother's for Thanksgiving. A cousin's husband had cancer and was being treated with radioactive seeds implanted in his body. He could not be within 6 feet of a pregnant woman. Grandma called and asked if we would be comfortable with him there if he stayed away from me. Because it made us nervous, he and his wife decided they'd bring their luxury RV and he could hang out there and people could pop in and out (there were 20+ people- he was not going to be left alone ever). We all thought this was a fantastic compromise, except his MIL (grandma's sister). She shot me dirty looks and flat refused to speak to me all day and for nearly a year after.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
bit of a result when the selfish person opts out of speaking to you really.
Load More Replies... Guess Undheit 1 year ago
The thousands of deaths from C-19 happened because of selfish ash soles went to events while sick, not telling anyone. Apparently none are smart enough to learn and too selfish to care if they kill a kid, just as long as it's not themselves.
Sathe Wesker 1 year ago
Aurgh! This makes me angry. I am Canadian so our thanksgiving has already passed and we missed it with my partners grandfather because my partner was sick and his grandfather is on a freaking oxygen tank (I’ve also been through this with my own father). It’s common freaking decency!! We just got over a pandemic and this is seriously how people will continue to react?!
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