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143
‘Hardcore Vegan’ Thinks She Can Shame Everyone At BBQ, Gets A Reality Check That Drives Her Mad
Healthy eating and nutrition are very sensitive topics, and nearly everyone seems to have an opinion on them. If you want to change someone’s mind about embracing a healthier diet, you have to be respectful and see them as your equal. A holier-than-thou attitude and insults will only drive the other person away. Besides, nobody wants to be angrily talked at during a social event or family gathering.
Internet user u/IFeelBad95 asked the AITA online group for a verdict on whether they were in the wrong for leaving their vegan sister-in-law ‘Erin’ out of the family barbeque. The reason? The woman’s incredibly aggressive attitude and non-stop shaming of her relatives. Scroll down for the full story, two very important updates, and to see how the net reacted to the spot of family drama. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from them.
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A good rule of thumb is to avoid intentionally causing a scene at family get-togethers. The dinner table isn’t the place for hardcore fights
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
A person asked the internet whether they were wrong not to invite their relative to a barbeque due to their over-the-top and militant vegan beliefs
Image credits: Sigmund / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Blake Cheek / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Nathan Dumlao / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The host shared more information about the family drama later
Image credits: IFeelBad95
Before you start making radical changes to your diet, talk to a healthcare professional. And always be aware of what your body needs
There are lots of general health, diet, and fitness guidelines that you can (and should!) follow to live a better, longer, and higher-quality life. That being said, you also have to take into consideration that your body’s needs may not be quite the same as someone else’s.
Different people have different lifestyles, allergies, genes, nutritional deficiencies, etc. Just like you wouldn’t encourage a person with lactose intolerance or a nut allergy to drink milk or eat peanuts, you wouldn’t push one particular diet on people who have very different relationships with exercise.
Similarly, someone with a vitamin B12 or iron deficiency would focus on certain foods far more than an individual who has healthy levels of both in their system. Supplements work, but they have to be taken in conjunction with a balanced and nutritious diet. Sometimes, giving up red meat or seafood isn’t an option from a dietary perspective, even if you support veganism ethically.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach, though it’s definitely a good idea to try to eat healthier, move more, stay hydrated, get plenty of sleep, and invest in your positive relationships.
So, not only is it vital that you listen to what your body is telling you, but you also shouldn’t make any drastic changes in your lifestyle and diet without consulting your doctor or a health specialist. What changes you make and how quickly you can introduce them into your life will depend on your goals.
Introducing a few more greens, legumes, seafood, and fiber into your life while eating slightly less junk food is fairly easy to do. Meanwhile, moving past any deep-seated addictions to sugar, caffeine, processed foods, nicotine, and alcohol will require far more time and effort to make your healthier habits stick.
And, in some more serious cases, you may need to make your lifestyle changes in sync with therapy so you can reframe your relationship with what you consume.
Generally, omnivores are more accepting of vegans who avoid animal products due to to health concerns rather than ethical reasons
Image credits: Lauris Rozentāls / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The psychology behind the relationships between vegans, omnivores, and vegetarians is fascinating. The BBC reports that many meat-eaters find explanations for why eating animals is ‘correct,’ and part of their chain of thought is that they view vegans in a negative light.
Psychologist Julia Minson from the University of Pennsylvania studied attitudes towards vegans. 45% of participants had something negative to say about vegans’ social characteristics and included descriptions using words like weird, arrogant, preachy, militant, uptight, stupid, and (somewhat bizarrely) sadistic.
Meanwhile, the BBC writes that non-meat-eaters tend to think they’re better than other people. For instance, vegetarians tend to rate other vegetarians as more virtuous than non-vegetarians. And both omnivores and vegetarians tend to rate vegetarians as more virtuous yet less masculine than omnivores.
However, the relationship between vegans and vegetarians can be quite tense, too. The former can think that the latter group is hypocritical.
Psychologist Benoit Monin from Stanford University said that vegetarians tend to be more threatened by vegans than non-vegetarians actually are. “They [vegetarians] agree that there is something wrong about raising animals for food, and now they’re faced with someone who’s putting their money where their mouth is, more than they do.”
Omnivores tend to find ethical vegans and vegetarians more irritating than people who avoid animal products for health reasons. Meanwhile, faced with cognitive dissonance and discomfort, omnivores can react to pro-vegan adverts that focus on animal suffering by eating more meat to justify their actions and lifestyles.
Cognitive dissonance is what happens when someone has two incompatible views in their head (for instance, eating meat but also caring about animals) and acts in one way but not the other. It can make the present feel stressed, irritated, and unhappy, so they might lash out by blaming others.
If your goal is to change someone’s perspective about food and health, you can’t act judgmental and holier-than-thou
Image credits: Nini FromParis / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That being said, you won’t change many people’s minds by being preachy or judging them. Any good diplomat knows that you have to create a genuine connection with the other person. Actively listen to them, consider their perspective, and be open to having an actual discussion with them.
If you blame someone for (not) eating meat or any other product, they’ll get defensive, ignore you, or lash out at you. What you want is a genuine dialogue, not a monologue where you show off how much ‘better’ and morally upstanding you are than the people you supposedly care about. Nobody likes a show-off.
Then there’s the issue of timing. Shaming people about what they’re eating at a family barbeque is ridiculous. It’s a get-together that’s meant to bring people closer, not push them away. If you have genuinely good recommendations for how someone can live longer and feel healthier, you can always find a less public way of approaching those topics.
And in many cases, actions speak far louder than words. If you want to show off the benefits of veganism, you can start to convince your family by cooking up some amazing dishes at the family barbeque. To be blunt, people love tasty food. If it’s nutritious on top of that, it’s a plus!
What are your thoughts about the entire family drama, dear Pandas? Have you ever not invited a relative or friend because they’re overly passionate about one cause or another? What do you think is a good way to broach the topic of healthier eating and living in the first place?
Has anyone, whether a passionate vegan or over-the-top carnivore, ever tried to browbeat you into changing your diet without caring what you think? Grab a snack or a hot beverage and tell us what you think and what you’ve experienced in the comments!
The author added even more context as the story started going viral
Overwhelmingly, the internet thought the author did the right thing by excluding their sister-in-law
A large chunk of readers thought that everyone was to blame and could have handled things far better
Not everyone was on the same page. A handful of internet users called the author out
A bit later, the author of the story shared a couple of important updates
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What do you think ?
L. Murphy 11 months ago (edited)
I am a vegan and if I say another vegan act like this at a BBQ that they chose to attend, I would b***h slap her with a cutlet. The pic they used to depict this twat was perfect btw. Tattooed, ear gauges, butch haircut, and pierced looks like every other weirdo in Seattle. So attention seeking and insecure.
Suzie 11 months ago
If someone wants to be vegan, more power to them. I draw the line when they want to criticize everyone else for their dietary choices.
Hell Iz 11 months ago
I’ve been called a « stupid hypocrite” by vegans because I’m vegetarian. So yeah.
Load More Replies...
Scott Rackley 11 months ago
So she ate a vegan patty that had been cooked on a BBQ grill? lol. Actually, I found a unicorn IRL. We hired this woman to be our toolroom crib manager at work. Took me a couple of weeks to notice she never ate animal products at lunch. So I did ask her if she was vegetarian and she replied with "Vegan." I was surprised because usually that's the first thing out of their mouth after you meet them. Nice girl, great crib manager.
L. Murphy 11 months ago
The nice vegans don't talk about their diet because we don't want to be lectured or asked dumb questions.
Load More Replies...
Nice Beast Ludo 11 months ago
"both omnivores and vegetarians tend to rate omnivores as more virtuous yet less masculine than vegetarians " what in the world do those two things have to do with each other? I know the author was quoting a poll but that is one of the strangest sentences I have read in awhile
Ben Aziza 11 months ago (edited)
AHh yes, that is exactly how masculinity is rated! There is a sacred text passed down the generations to every man when they become of age. In it there is the manliness formula. This exact situation is mentioned in line 14 of section 12.2 (Food and manliness). "Ye who shall decide to partake in the consumption of animal flesh all their products or ye who refrains from it all together, shall point and laugh at the lack of masculine of those who do not. Once done your total masculine is herby worth one and a third of its original value. As for the lesser men their masculinity is reduced by a third" Basically a 1.3 or 0.7 multiplier! I hear there is talk of adding it into the DNA, so the rules just manifest at an instinctual level! Nothing strange about the sentences at all.
Load More Replies...
Mr.Mister 11 months ago
Done that. In my friendsgroup, there was this dude who decided to become vegan. Ok his life his choice. But he became the aggresive kind of vegan who annoys everyone with speech like " Eww how can you eat that?" Or "The poor animal" and stuff like that. Well one sjmmer we decided to have a BBQ party in a public park, that was a good way away from him. But somehow he showed up by coincidence. And when he started to rant about us devouring meat everyone just shouted "SHUT UP [NAME]!!! " in unison. He fu(ked off and we had our fun
geezeronthehill 11 months ago
To Erin's claim about fat: fat consumption is not connected to adult (type 2) diabetes. Over refined carbohydrates and sugars are the usual contributing factors.
iseefractals 11 months ago
That's mostly true, but not completely. Refined sugar and carbohydrates (which are metabolized into sugar) are the primary underlying factor simply because those are present in so many aspects of the modern diet. Trans fat however has been shown to have an impact on insulin resistance, while saturated fats, which is the animal fats being discussed here, do not.
Load More Replies...
Peter Griffin 11 months ago
What’s funny is that veganism isn’t even the healthiest diet to be on lol
DC 11 months ago
Most often, it's an ethical rather than a dietary choice. That just is the most obvious, most impactful outcome in daily life.
Load More Replies... kkrq2vk4tm 11 months ago
It's not a difficult situation to fix, people like this need an argument so just don't giver her one, I'd invited her to the family barbecue, I'd provide her with a disposable barbecue and tell her to get on with it, there would be plenty of salad stuff around that's naturally vegan and I'd tell others to just not engage if you just don't respond to someone who is ranting they run out of stuff to say
L. Murphy 11 months ago (edited)
I am a vegan and if I say another vegan act like this at a BBQ that they chose to attend, I would b***h slap her with a cutlet. The pic they used to depict this twat was perfect btw. Tattooed, ear gauges, butch haircut, and pierced looks like every other weirdo in Seattle. So attention seeking and insecure.
Suzie 11 months ago
If someone wants to be vegan, more power to them. I draw the line when they want to criticize everyone else for their dietary choices.
Hell Iz 11 months ago
I’ve been called a « stupid hypocrite” by vegans because I’m vegetarian. So yeah.
Load More Replies... Scott Rackley 11 months ago
So she ate a vegan patty that had been cooked on a BBQ grill? lol. Actually, I found a unicorn IRL. We hired this woman to be our toolroom crib manager at work. Took me a couple of weeks to notice she never ate animal products at lunch. So I did ask her if she was vegetarian and she replied with "Vegan." I was surprised because usually that's the first thing out of their mouth after you meet them. Nice girl, great crib manager.
L. Murphy 11 months ago
The nice vegans don't talk about their diet because we don't want to be lectured or asked dumb questions.
Load More Replies... Nice Beast Ludo 11 months ago
"both omnivores and vegetarians tend to rate omnivores as more virtuous yet less masculine than vegetarians " what in the world do those two things have to do with each other? I know the author was quoting a poll but that is one of the strangest sentences I have read in awhile
Ben Aziza 11 months ago (edited)
AHh yes, that is exactly how masculinity is rated! There is a sacred text passed down the generations to every man when they become of age. In it there is the manliness formula. This exact situation is mentioned in line 14 of section 12.2 (Food and manliness). "Ye who shall decide to partake in the consumption of animal flesh all their products or ye who refrains from it all together, shall point and laugh at the lack of masculine of those who do not. Once done your total masculine is herby worth one and a third of its original value. As for the lesser men their masculinity is reduced by a third" Basically a 1.3 or 0.7 multiplier! I hear there is talk of adding it into the DNA, so the rules just manifest at an instinctual level! Nothing strange about the sentences at all.
Load More Replies... Mr.Mister 11 months ago
Done that. In my friendsgroup, there was this dude who decided to become vegan. Ok his life his choice. But he became the aggresive kind of vegan who annoys everyone with speech like " Eww how can you eat that?" Or "The poor animal" and stuff like that. Well one sjmmer we decided to have a BBQ party in a public park, that was a good way away from him. But somehow he showed up by coincidence. And when he started to rant about us devouring meat everyone just shouted "SHUT UP [NAME]!!! " in unison. He fu(ked off and we had our fun
geezeronthehill 11 months ago
To Erin's claim about fat: fat consumption is not connected to adult (type 2) diabetes. Over refined carbohydrates and sugars are the usual contributing factors.
iseefractals 11 months ago
That's mostly true, but not completely. Refined sugar and carbohydrates (which are metabolized into sugar) are the primary underlying factor simply because those are present in so many aspects of the modern diet. Trans fat however has been shown to have an impact on insulin resistance, while saturated fats, which is the animal fats being discussed here, do not.
Load More Replies... Peter Griffin 11 months ago
What’s funny is that veganism isn’t even the healthiest diet to be on lol
DC 11 months ago
Most often, it's an ethical rather than a dietary choice. That just is the most obvious, most impactful outcome in daily life.
Load More Replies... kkrq2vk4tm 11 months ago
It's not a difficult situation to fix, people like this need an argument so just don't giver her one, I'd invited her to the family barbecue, I'd provide her with a disposable barbecue and tell her to get on with it, there would be plenty of salad stuff around that's naturally vegan and I'd tell others to just not engage if you just don't respond to someone who is ranting they run out of stuff to say
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