23 Y.O. Son Tells His Parents He’ll Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out They’re Paying For Sister’s Education Yet Didn’t Pay For His
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Receiving proper education is one of the major achievements in a person’s life. For a lot of young people, especially those who are academically gifted, it is very important to be able to get into a college or university that can provide them with high-quality education, challenge them, and offer plenty of opportunities. Very often one of the upcoming challenges in this path is finding enough funds to cover university tuition and other expenses. Sometimes parents are the ones that offer to lend a helping hand as they are very concerned about their kids getting a proper education. One Reddit user decided to share his painful experience by revealing that not all parents are willing to provide their kids with the necessary means to start their academic journey.
More Info: Reddit
Getting into your dream school or university is one of the greatest achievements
Image credits: University of Essex (not the actual photo)
The narrator started his story by stating that his parents always emphasized the importance of hard work and getting good grades. Often times they would mention someone who was studying at an Ivy League school, and how he should take these people as a good example. The man did his best in school and was accepted to one of the top universities that are on the Ivy League list. The user who is now a 23-year-old man remembered the day he got accepted and how emotional he was knowing that he made it to the top. Having in mind how important education is for his parents, the man was sure that they would be very happy with the news.
One Reddit user decided to share how his family made him to decline his offer received from one of the Ivy League schools because they couldn’t afford it
Image credits: parents_lied__
What happened next shocked the man as his parents told him that he would have to decline his invitation as they had no means to pay for his tuition. The user remembers that his parents even showed him their budget so that he could see for himself that they would not be able to afford his school expenses. The man shared that this happened back in 2016 when he was a 17-year-old who, even at that young age, realized that they really couldn’t cover his tuition.
Image credits: parents_lied__
This situation led him to go to a state university where he received his bachelor’s and master’s degree in computer science, after which he ended up getting a job at one of the FAANG companies. It’s fair to say that the narrator’s hard work paid off even without him getting into a prestigious university. But what enraged him was the situation he found himself in recently.
After finding out that his parents couldn’t pay for the university, he had to apply to one of the state schools as it was cheaper
Image credits: parents_lied__
Through the years, the man successfully finished his studies and landed a job at one of the FAANG companies
Image credits: parents_lied__
The man has a 17-year-old sister who called him one day with good news. She was also accepted into one of the Ivy League schools. The brother congratulated the sister but asked her if their parents also made her decline the acceptance as it happened to him. The young woman shared that the dad told her not to worry about it as they would pay for her education. The brother was devastated to hear this after being told that they couldn’t afford to pay for his school.
Recently, the man found out that his sister was also accepted to one of the Ivy League schools
Image credits: parents_lied__
The man was in shock after finding out that parents decided to pay for her education after they made him decline the offer
Image credits: parents_lied__
It might seem that now the parents are in a better position financially to be able to provide their daughter with the possibility to go to her dream school. But the man soon understood that back in 2016, his dad already worked for one of the FAANG companies and also had the financials to allow him to go to the university of his choice. This made him really upset, especially when he confronted his parents about this. This all ended in an argument and the narrator’s threat to never speak with them again.
Image credits: parents_lied__
This situation resulted in an argument after which the narrator threatened not to speak with his parents ever again
Image credits: parents_lied__
A lot of people online tried to come up with a possible explanation for why his parents decided to help his sister but not him. Some needed more information about the situation as they couldn’t understand why some other options of getting into the university weren’t thought of. Others online suggested that the man should’ve known about their financial situation because they had to provide this information when he was applying for a federal loan to attend a state university. The narrator replied by saying that at that time, he didn’t think about it too much and that his parents took care of that part of the documentation.
What is your opinion on this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
People online became very involved in the story as they were trying to understand the reason why the parents did this to their son
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The real AH here is the American education system and the fact that you need to pay that much for an education in the first place.
Yea. Education should be free. We have No problems with it being free in Denmark... and we get paid to attend...
Hurdle number one Denmark population: 5.5 million US population: 330 million
@Shane Little: The greater amount of people paying in to help each other, be it medical or school, the less they have to pay. Two people dividing $100 is $50 each. Five people dividing $100 is $20 each. So it's not a hurdle. It's actually much more affordable
A large percentage of the population in the US pays little or no taxes.
So five people have to pay for a service - but only one person gets the benefit? Would you be willing to pay for my house while you live in the street? Would you be willing to pay for my car while you have to ride the bus?
Like roads, fire departments, k-12 schools, environmental protections, ports, etc. They benefit us all! You will make use of tax supported things others don't use. What things do you use that you should give up to not be hypocrite? a
Not a hurdle. Fewer people means fewer taxpayers.
Fewer people means also fewer expenses that would require that tax money... it all evens out regardless of how many people there are.
And? It's all about taxes, Americans don't care about anyone but themselves.
You are paying for it with your taxes. Nothing is free. Even in Denmark.
But @Pernille Dyre - Are private institutions in Denmark also free, or just the state ones? The Ivy League schools here are private institutions.
How much are your taxes? You're still paying forit, just not up front.
Wrong. It should be cheaper but not free. 90% of people pursue an education to get a better paying job. That should cost money unless non educated jobs payed the same and then I would agree with you.
It does cost them money. When the person gets a higher paying job they end up paying more in taxes.
You... You get what? I need to move there no matter the cost!
Denmark is not America. Nothing is free. Someone is always paying.
The real issue is who will pay for the education. In Denmark, huge taxes on the middle class enables this eucational benefit. In one Scandinavian couintry, the marginal tax rate on $35,000 income is 75%. Imagine the uproar if the U.S. tried to impose that tax system. BTW, the typical marginal tax rate in the US is effectively zero for 35K after dedcutions and credits.
@david buller; Maybe I'm not understanding correctly but 75% tax on a 35.000 income is a lie. I live in the Netherlands, middle income and I pay 32%
Nothing is free. Someone(s) are paying for it. Your delusional if you believe its free.
if nothing is free why is free even a word?-my 6yo brother.
Misnomer, look it up
Absolutely not. Anything free in North America is not appreciated. I’ve been to 3 universities at different times and you could see who was paying their own way and who had mommy and daddy paying.
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You got that right. Pay your way and quit expecting free ride!
It's not free - you pay for it with taxes (which are 41% higher than taxes in America)
Not really Add in state taxes, sales taxes, fees and 99% of all healthcare & dental expenses including premiums & all co-pays. At that point we actually pay FAR more! Don't lie to yourself. Go compare budgets to someone with your job in nearly any other OECD country.
Forgot you need to self fund insurance too--huge!
what you call paid is barely covering the rent, if you were so lucky to score a dorm room after you passed the first semester and we have a ton of problems with budget cuts at the universities and the craziness to outsource education to the countryside and then forcing the established institutions to cut back on students that can get into the education they wish does not make Denmark look better then we are. By the way, American collages do way more to help students who struggle for various reasons
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Free just equals higher taxes for all, I don't have kids, and I am not paying for everyone else to go to college. NOPE. You want college, you pay. People need to stop expecting everyone else to pay for them. NOTHING IS FREE PEOPLE. IT COMES FROM TAXES. Get that through your thick ass skulls. NOTHING IS FREE, it's paid for through TAXES!!
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Yeah you get free education, I've been all over the world with the military and I've seen all these countries with free education. Know what I've noticed? All these people with degrees who can't find jobs in their field of study. As for American education. Yes it should be cheaper. The schools are as corrupt as the medical fields and government. But if so many people weren't taking useless fields of study in an already saturated field they wouldn't be having so many problems finding employment and paying for their education. The problem isn't really the cost it's that they choose to study something they have virtually no chance of finding gainful employment in because there are already to many people in that field.
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Its funny that people cry & whine about free education but don't realize it has to be paid by someone. Hence, thats why taxes are much higher in Europe ( has much as 60%);. The trade off is lower taxes or higher taxes. Free education or paying for education.
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You won't think so after you graduate and start paying 75% of your paycheck in taxes.
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That's why you flip burgers. Moron.
I agreed! OP sounds Asian, I am one and they didn't pay for my younger brother's tuition either but they did pay mine when I went 20 years ago. He didn't take any offence to it as he ended up being successful Manager himself and proudly I'd say he's much more responsible financially than I am.
This comment is stupid. This is for Ivy League college... people from around the world come to those schools and they aren't free for anyone. UK has Oxford and that's not free either. If I could think of a school in ANY other country that were half as prestigious, that wouldn't be free either.
In Germany RWTH Aachen and TU Munich are free to attend and certainly comparable to Ivy League in the US
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Umm... No they're not. 🤣🤣🤣
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Lol that's because Germany can afford the butter cause the US taxpayers pay for Germany's guns. 🤣
the education is free but not the paperwork or name of the school
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The cost is not for the education. The cost at most is for the four year pleasure cruise the schools are selling to entice students. In the Ivys, the cost is for the connections with the right people, and keeping out the rabble. Just look at who any famous Ivy Leaguer's roommate was in college. You'll know them, too.
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Who should pay for it instead?
The economy that benefits from it.
There is no guarantee that a person will stay in the country they are educated in. In SA tertiary education is not free, but we also have a vast population who feel they are entitled to have everything given to them on a silver platter, even if they can afford it.
Canada charges international students about double what citizens pay to attend postsecondary here, but you're basically guaranteed Canadian permanent residency upon graduation if you want it. It's by far the easiest way to immigrate to Canada, IMO, and it means we tend to attract students who already want to stay. It's really a huge win all around.
R L When you write SA are you talking about South America or South Australia?
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Punk bitches.
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high taxes then
The amount of debt that we take on as Americas for college is not a worldwide thing. I believe it is Norway.... Google Norway's college costs
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Well, here in Argentina everyone can go to college and the top universities from the whole country are public and free:) private universities are subpar compared to our public ones. USA is still s**t with their education
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Name ONE school in Argentina that anyone has heard of.... right. Good luck with that terrifying govt of yours.
You should be a lot more terrified of your own government (with either party in power). America incarcerates more of its own people (by percentage of the population) than any other country in the world, and that includes North Korea, China, Saudi Arabia and Iraq. And lack of decent education is a major reason why.
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Which is why USA bails you idiots out of your most recent screw up. And they're stupid. Argentina...a garbage can.
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I will take the education in the US anyday over living in a socialist s**t hole country. Why is 25% of your population below poverty level? Nobodys education is gonna be worth anything, if they are dead from chemical warfare. Who is protecting you? Your army? Covid is just the tip of the iceberg.
I guess the American education system has stopped teaching basics like punctuation. I’d ask for my money back if I were you.
Google Norway's population while youre at it.
Oh my... I guess my point still stands that USA is still s**t with education if they don't even teach you basic manners and how to engage with others in conversation. Perhaps i didn't make myself clear since obviously my first language isn't English, but i wasn't insulting your universities but pointing out how shitty the SYSTEM is since you get in huge debts to be properly educated when good education should be available for everyone. And just fyi, a lot of world top architects, doctors and engineers are argentinian and have graduated from our universities.
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All those countries that provide free college education, Google their defense budget and Google the US defense budget. Yes, you will have a lot of money to play with when someone else is shouldering the burden of keeping you and many other nations, safe.
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Quit whining. You pay for an education to make money. Like buying a business. Don't pay 200k for a taco truck, stupid.
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Yer mom
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You guys are weak. Pay your own way, punk bitches.
Mom and dad weren't together, mom had to fight dad to set up an account for me due to excessive bonuses he got each year rather than take him back to court to fight for more support. Dad buys me a junky used car out of said account which neither me nor my mom had access to. Dad refuses to give me remainder of account when I turned 18 so I could pay for school, books, fraternity dues, etc. Refuses to pay for anything else unless I provide receipts, for said books, etc. even though it was supposed to be "my" money. Sister gets a car when she gets license, offered to send second younger sister to Australia for a music program, two younger adopted brothers both get stupidly jacked up and expensive trucks, etc. No I no longer speak to my father. This s**t is real when parents screw you over. Good for you. They didn't treat you fairly, they treated you as lesser than, so cut them out.
Spot on!! Sorry your peeps did not support you, good on you for cutting ties! I did the same, best decision I ever made
Wow. My father refused to spend a dime on me for ANYTHING, including child support (they split when I was 2 months old--they decided I'd live with my mom, my brother with my dad). So I totally get this. I've been in therapy for years over my upbringing, including having a father who refuses to acknowledge the many ways he left me to live in squalor, with tremendous mental and physical abuse and neglect. He refuses to acknowledge ANY OF IT, although he DID say he never bonded with me so that's why he doesn't love me. (As a parent of 3, I can't imagine EVER doing these things to a child--especially a very vulnerable, abused one). So your story really resonates. Ironically, despite it all, I'm quite successful--his other spoiled kids? Meh. But I'm also still in weekly therapy for CPTSD (which includes military trauma and tons of childhood trauma). Parents who don't love and care for the children they brought into this world absolutely deserve to rot in hell.
Dont worry they have a special place for that kind of parents..
I wouldn't have anything to do with him either! What a total jerk
I feel your pain, I was the black sheep of my family and treated like pond scum while my siblings were showered with gifts , trips etc.
Good for you! Stand your ground, you dont need that kind of energy in your life 🦋
I only have a daughter and I can tell you this your father with all due respect to you is the biggest piece of s*** in the f****** world to me bless you I hope you go through this world not letting that weigh heavy on your heart
Parents are just people too Man, i feel your pain and have much of my own, just keep telling myself that they are just people too ya know, helps🤷♂️
Hi
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It's Sad how our youth have gotten so entitled. When you get older you'll see that finances can change drastically in only a span 5 years. Please realize college is not owed to you as you go off at 18 you are legally an adult. Maybe you could have worked and bought your own car. Maybe your Dad disagreed with how your mom or you and your mom spent his portion of the money. He obviously did enough to help you get accepted to school. Realize this the money he may have to have started investing might be worth more to you than college when you don't have to spend your future money trying to raise kids and paying for parent care. Get over yourself he doesn't owe you anything. Your parents don't owe you, the world doesn't owe you anything -make the most of what you have been given, be thankful and do well with your life!
You can talk about entitlement all you want, but when parents pay for everything for one kid and nothing for the other, that's just wrong.
Parents do owe the children they bring into the world. Parents who choose one child over another should not have had a second child.
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Forgive your Dad for your own sake. Bitterness and unforgiveness hurt you more than the other person
Nah, it won't. Those things don't hurt you at all if make good choices with them. I wonder why people buy into that woowoo that having negative experiences that you chose to acknowledged and deal with is bad for you. ALL emotions are valid even bitterness. Assholes need to be cut outta your life. Parents are no exception. They are not gods - they are humans. No human who hadn't repented of their bad way deserves anything - not even forgiveness. We don't owe anyone anything. We only get one life. So it sounds like brainwashing to keep people under the thumb of an abuser when people say to do otherwise like forgive your abuser and keep the relationship.
All emotions are valid, but your logic is very flawed. If you were crying from sadness, would you want to never get over it? Cry yourself to death? Why would you recommend someone holds onto negative feelings? It makes no sense!!
My take on it (learned through therapy) is that all emotions teach us something. Pain and loss teach us that what is gone was valuable, and to value what we have in the present moment. Anger can teach us that something is wrong, and remembering that anger can teach us to make better choices (for example, not trusting someone who has screwed you over). Jealousy, fear, joy, sorrow, no emotion is good or bad, they become good or bad depending on how you handle them. It's not a matter of holding on to negative feelings, but not putting yourself in a situation where you'll have to deal with the same negative feelings as before (example: not putting yourself in a situation where someone abusive has the power to be abusive again). That's all my opinion/experience, and I'm not an expert by far.
You have a great therapist! You're right, feelings aren't inherently good or bad. They are meant to deliver a message, sometimes of needed changes. There's nothing wrong with finding your own happiness, even if it takes distancing yourself from others. Toxic relationships should be treated as the poison they are & steered clear of. It's a sign of maturity to know when to walk away. No one asks for your permission to live their life, why should you ask for theirs? If you truly like/love yourself, you'll do your best to protect yourself from dangerous situations. Society doesn't teach us our emotions are valid simply bcuz we are human beings. We're ostracized if we choose to focus on our own well-being. Men are ridiculed for showing emotions, women are criticized. This is why mental illness is so pervasive in the U.S. You may not be an expert, but you've learned from one. Stay loyal to yourself, you're worth it. Accept you have emotions & act accordingly. You're human, after all.
Mental illness is caused by the reaction to a person's emotions. You have to be kidding, right?
You are twisting everybody's comments around until they mean something completely different than what they actually said. You REALLY need to stop doing that. It's dishonest! The person didn't say that mental illness was caused by reaction to a person's emotions, they indicated that part of the stigma of mental illness is caused by the fact that people aren't allowed to have or show normal emotions. that's much different than what you just said.
Nothing against you but all these platitudes sound great until some real s**t happens. Pain and loss teach what is valuable! Ffs, I buried my only child in August. I already knew his value. It's therapy like this that leaves people unprepared for reality. I don't have the will to go through every scenario but be assured that when sh!t happens those platitudes won't help get you through. At the same time I hope that you will never have chance to test this.
@R I'm so sorry for your loss. That is horrible. But I think you missed the actual point of his comment. Which is that NO emotion or feeling is good or bad. All emotions serve a purpose or teach us something valid.
Just bcuz someone cuts someone who hurt them out of their life, doesn't mean they hold onto negative feelings. Often the opposite. I held resentments for my parents while trying to have healthy relationships w/them. Yet they made me feel inadequate & ashamed. I cut them out of my life, began to understand my worth & learned to love myself. I vowed never to subject myself to their narcissistic abuse again. After years of therapy, I don't harbor negative feelings. Instead, I foster positive feelings for myself & simply don't waste energy on them. As time goes by, I feel no real emotions when I think of them, which isn't often. If anything, I pity them. Being estranged from family members is akin to breaking up with an abuser. You do it bcuz you love yourself & realize you deserve better; you don't stay with them bcuz society might judge you. Life's too short to be miserable. We only get one, & I'm living my life the way I want- free of toxic relationships & happy with myself.
Mmm
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What a sense of entitlement. Didn't your parents worked hard to make their money? If you feel entitled to their money, should they be equally entitled to yours? I never felt my parents should support my higher education, nor anything else I did when I became an adult. I am the oldest and my 'entitled' siblings got more because they expected it. I'm not angry about that; my parents have a right spent their money as they wish. Perhaps what you should be complaining about is your ingratitude, rather than your parents distribution choices; I'll bet you don't want people telling you how to spend your money. I'm not surprised that you've chosen not speak to your parents. I can say, you will regret that choice someday.
That's fine you shouldn't rely on your parents money once you are a adult. However then the parents should have made it clear we are not going to pay for any of our children's educations. It's wrong!
I don't think it's that much about money as it's the fact they lied to him.
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Did they lie? Maybe they are just in a more financially stable position now. Maybe OP needs to consider that.
Read the post. They were not honest with him.
Tell us again about not reading (or understanding? the whole post...)
No. Or they would have said that. They just stiffened up & told him it was none of his business. So yeah, they lied. If they didn't lie they would have explained it to him because they wouldn't want him to go off believing that they lied and that they like his sister better.
I agree. I paid my way, working a variety of part time jobs. The students that didn't have to work were incredibly self centered and oblivious to the struggles of those of us that had to support ourselves.
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Yep been there done that. Except I’m now doing my masters in public health and sibling flunked out of 3 degrees because entitled sibling never had to pay anything
same thing with my husband, they even tried to kick him out while we was in school and working to pay for it. His younger brother, 3 years university fully paid by parents, never finished, kept failing. works in the trades now, my husband works at that university.
The trades are actually an awesome alternative to the traditional path of going to college, although I get your point that he was entitled and didn't use the education that was given to him to his advantage and took it all for granted...but I would say that anyone who doesn't want student debt hanging over their heads, and can physically do the work, to consider an apprenticeship in the trades. Depending on where you are, the wages are amazing (anywhere from $30-$50 per hour or more for the journeyman wage) My niece just started an electrical apprenticeship and her journey wages when she finishes will be $55 an hour! Again, I'm not taking away from why you wrote that comment, I'm just trying to spread awareness about an alternative route. 😃
Agree 100% about considering trades. Also we need qualified trades people in our society. Thanks for bringing this idea into the discussion.
A person shouldn't have to be a plumber when they can be a doctor or scientist just because of money.
I think, if you want to be a doctor, you will find a way. If that’s your passion and love, go after that dream! Many financial institutions offer grants, based on a career pathway, or a loan based on the same. You just need to go in to them, and ask. They could have criteria you meet. Like a single black female, wanting to study medicine, music etc. . You get the gist. One bank actually printed out all the grants and loans with all the criteria to get it, for me. One was strictly fora female, to study medicine, nursing or to ne a doctor, go to this institution, and they would cover your tuition for your college career. No debt. And, the woman told my mom and me, there , was money that went unused because kids just didn’t know about these grants etc. it is amazing. So, gotta ask the right questions!
Would have had to take on $200k-$300k in debt. You are either really, really entitled or on better drugs than we get here if you believe that in the US!
Plus, we need more young people in the trades! The education is wonderful, you meet your fair share of butt heads, but also meet some really great people! Plus, you will likely, never be out of a job!
Just saying if you take trades average wages and university workers average wages the trades make more so idk the point your trying to make.
Doesn't it depend on what job you have at the university? And then, if you're in an administrative role, you're definitely going to make more than the average trade worker. Also, depending on which university you're working at and the coursework you're taking on, it easily gets into the hundreds of thousands. Pretty sure since that's literally their brother-in-law they know the pay difference between their husband and the brother.
I will have to agree with the other commenters. You shouldn't use education to mock other people who didn't get it. That's incredibly arrogant and rude.
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"While we was in school"? It looks like your elementary school failed to do its job...
She meant to say "while HE was in school". Typo. Get off the soap box.
Its a typo. I have teeny tiny child sized hands yet if I put my thumb all the way down on my phone keyboard it touches 4 letters at once. Easy af to hit the wrong letters or have autocorrect put in something funky even when youve typed a proper word. Mine keeps trying to change the word "ill" to "I'll" and "hell" to "he'll" when clearly those dont need correcting.
Good on you!!
Good point! Paying for something makes you appreciate it more. Maybe sister wasn't keen on going so they offered to pay as an incentive. First kid is probably more successful as a result. That sucks though! For them to just blow it off instead of explaining was awful.
Not at all surprised Cecily, good on you
The real AH here is the American education system and the fact that you need to pay that much for an education in the first place.
Yea. Education should be free. We have No problems with it being free in Denmark... and we get paid to attend...
Hurdle number one Denmark population: 5.5 million US population: 330 million
@Shane Little: The greater amount of people paying in to help each other, be it medical or school, the less they have to pay. Two people dividing $100 is $50 each. Five people dividing $100 is $20 each. So it's not a hurdle. It's actually much more affordable
A large percentage of the population in the US pays little or no taxes.
So five people have to pay for a service - but only one person gets the benefit? Would you be willing to pay for my house while you live in the street? Would you be willing to pay for my car while you have to ride the bus?
Like roads, fire departments, k-12 schools, environmental protections, ports, etc. They benefit us all! You will make use of tax supported things others don't use. What things do you use that you should give up to not be hypocrite? a
Not a hurdle. Fewer people means fewer taxpayers.
Fewer people means also fewer expenses that would require that tax money... it all evens out regardless of how many people there are.
And? It's all about taxes, Americans don't care about anyone but themselves.
You are paying for it with your taxes. Nothing is free. Even in Denmark.
But @Pernille Dyre - Are private institutions in Denmark also free, or just the state ones? The Ivy League schools here are private institutions.
How much are your taxes? You're still paying forit, just not up front.
Wrong. It should be cheaper but not free. 90% of people pursue an education to get a better paying job. That should cost money unless non educated jobs payed the same and then I would agree with you.
It does cost them money. When the person gets a higher paying job they end up paying more in taxes.
You... You get what? I need to move there no matter the cost!
Denmark is not America. Nothing is free. Someone is always paying.
The real issue is who will pay for the education. In Denmark, huge taxes on the middle class enables this eucational benefit. In one Scandinavian couintry, the marginal tax rate on $35,000 income is 75%. Imagine the uproar if the U.S. tried to impose that tax system. BTW, the typical marginal tax rate in the US is effectively zero for 35K after dedcutions and credits.
@david buller; Maybe I'm not understanding correctly but 75% tax on a 35.000 income is a lie. I live in the Netherlands, middle income and I pay 32%
Nothing is free. Someone(s) are paying for it. Your delusional if you believe its free.
if nothing is free why is free even a word?-my 6yo brother.
Misnomer, look it up
Absolutely not. Anything free in North America is not appreciated. I’ve been to 3 universities at different times and you could see who was paying their own way and who had mommy and daddy paying.
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You got that right. Pay your way and quit expecting free ride!
It's not free - you pay for it with taxes (which are 41% higher than taxes in America)
Not really Add in state taxes, sales taxes, fees and 99% of all healthcare & dental expenses including premiums & all co-pays. At that point we actually pay FAR more! Don't lie to yourself. Go compare budgets to someone with your job in nearly any other OECD country.
Forgot you need to self fund insurance too--huge!
what you call paid is barely covering the rent, if you were so lucky to score a dorm room after you passed the first semester and we have a ton of problems with budget cuts at the universities and the craziness to outsource education to the countryside and then forcing the established institutions to cut back on students that can get into the education they wish does not make Denmark look better then we are. By the way, American collages do way more to help students who struggle for various reasons
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Free just equals higher taxes for all, I don't have kids, and I am not paying for everyone else to go to college. NOPE. You want college, you pay. People need to stop expecting everyone else to pay for them. NOTHING IS FREE PEOPLE. IT COMES FROM TAXES. Get that through your thick ass skulls. NOTHING IS FREE, it's paid for through TAXES!!
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Yeah you get free education, I've been all over the world with the military and I've seen all these countries with free education. Know what I've noticed? All these people with degrees who can't find jobs in their field of study. As for American education. Yes it should be cheaper. The schools are as corrupt as the medical fields and government. But if so many people weren't taking useless fields of study in an already saturated field they wouldn't be having so many problems finding employment and paying for their education. The problem isn't really the cost it's that they choose to study something they have virtually no chance of finding gainful employment in because there are already to many people in that field.
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Its funny that people cry & whine about free education but don't realize it has to be paid by someone. Hence, thats why taxes are much higher in Europe ( has much as 60%);. The trade off is lower taxes or higher taxes. Free education or paying for education.
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You won't think so after you graduate and start paying 75% of your paycheck in taxes.
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That's why you flip burgers. Moron.
I agreed! OP sounds Asian, I am one and they didn't pay for my younger brother's tuition either but they did pay mine when I went 20 years ago. He didn't take any offence to it as he ended up being successful Manager himself and proudly I'd say he's much more responsible financially than I am.
This comment is stupid. This is for Ivy League college... people from around the world come to those schools and they aren't free for anyone. UK has Oxford and that's not free either. If I could think of a school in ANY other country that were half as prestigious, that wouldn't be free either.
In Germany RWTH Aachen and TU Munich are free to attend and certainly comparable to Ivy League in the US
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Umm... No they're not. 🤣🤣🤣
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Lol that's because Germany can afford the butter cause the US taxpayers pay for Germany's guns. 🤣
the education is free but not the paperwork or name of the school
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The cost is not for the education. The cost at most is for the four year pleasure cruise the schools are selling to entice students. In the Ivys, the cost is for the connections with the right people, and keeping out the rabble. Just look at who any famous Ivy Leaguer's roommate was in college. You'll know them, too.
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Who should pay for it instead?
The economy that benefits from it.
There is no guarantee that a person will stay in the country they are educated in. In SA tertiary education is not free, but we also have a vast population who feel they are entitled to have everything given to them on a silver platter, even if they can afford it.
Canada charges international students about double what citizens pay to attend postsecondary here, but you're basically guaranteed Canadian permanent residency upon graduation if you want it. It's by far the easiest way to immigrate to Canada, IMO, and it means we tend to attract students who already want to stay. It's really a huge win all around.
R L When you write SA are you talking about South America or South Australia?
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Punk bitches.
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high taxes then
The amount of debt that we take on as Americas for college is not a worldwide thing. I believe it is Norway.... Google Norway's college costs
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Well, here in Argentina everyone can go to college and the top universities from the whole country are public and free:) private universities are subpar compared to our public ones. USA is still s**t with their education
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Name ONE school in Argentina that anyone has heard of.... right. Good luck with that terrifying govt of yours.
You should be a lot more terrified of your own government (with either party in power). America incarcerates more of its own people (by percentage of the population) than any other country in the world, and that includes North Korea, China, Saudi Arabia and Iraq. And lack of decent education is a major reason why.
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Which is why USA bails you idiots out of your most recent screw up. And they're stupid. Argentina...a garbage can.
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I will take the education in the US anyday over living in a socialist s**t hole country. Why is 25% of your population below poverty level? Nobodys education is gonna be worth anything, if they are dead from chemical warfare. Who is protecting you? Your army? Covid is just the tip of the iceberg.
I guess the American education system has stopped teaching basics like punctuation. I’d ask for my money back if I were you.
Google Norway's population while youre at it.
Oh my... I guess my point still stands that USA is still s**t with education if they don't even teach you basic manners and how to engage with others in conversation. Perhaps i didn't make myself clear since obviously my first language isn't English, but i wasn't insulting your universities but pointing out how shitty the SYSTEM is since you get in huge debts to be properly educated when good education should be available for everyone. And just fyi, a lot of world top architects, doctors and engineers are argentinian and have graduated from our universities.
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All those countries that provide free college education, Google their defense budget and Google the US defense budget. Yes, you will have a lot of money to play with when someone else is shouldering the burden of keeping you and many other nations, safe.
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Quit whining. You pay for an education to make money. Like buying a business. Don't pay 200k for a taco truck, stupid.
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Yer mom
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You guys are weak. Pay your own way, punk bitches.
Mom and dad weren't together, mom had to fight dad to set up an account for me due to excessive bonuses he got each year rather than take him back to court to fight for more support. Dad buys me a junky used car out of said account which neither me nor my mom had access to. Dad refuses to give me remainder of account when I turned 18 so I could pay for school, books, fraternity dues, etc. Refuses to pay for anything else unless I provide receipts, for said books, etc. even though it was supposed to be "my" money. Sister gets a car when she gets license, offered to send second younger sister to Australia for a music program, two younger adopted brothers both get stupidly jacked up and expensive trucks, etc. No I no longer speak to my father. This s**t is real when parents screw you over. Good for you. They didn't treat you fairly, they treated you as lesser than, so cut them out.
Spot on!! Sorry your peeps did not support you, good on you for cutting ties! I did the same, best decision I ever made
Wow. My father refused to spend a dime on me for ANYTHING, including child support (they split when I was 2 months old--they decided I'd live with my mom, my brother with my dad). So I totally get this. I've been in therapy for years over my upbringing, including having a father who refuses to acknowledge the many ways he left me to live in squalor, with tremendous mental and physical abuse and neglect. He refuses to acknowledge ANY OF IT, although he DID say he never bonded with me so that's why he doesn't love me. (As a parent of 3, I can't imagine EVER doing these things to a child--especially a very vulnerable, abused one). So your story really resonates. Ironically, despite it all, I'm quite successful--his other spoiled kids? Meh. But I'm also still in weekly therapy for CPTSD (which includes military trauma and tons of childhood trauma). Parents who don't love and care for the children they brought into this world absolutely deserve to rot in hell.
Dont worry they have a special place for that kind of parents..
I wouldn't have anything to do with him either! What a total jerk
I feel your pain, I was the black sheep of my family and treated like pond scum while my siblings were showered with gifts , trips etc.
Good for you! Stand your ground, you dont need that kind of energy in your life 🦋
I only have a daughter and I can tell you this your father with all due respect to you is the biggest piece of s*** in the f****** world to me bless you I hope you go through this world not letting that weigh heavy on your heart
Parents are just people too Man, i feel your pain and have much of my own, just keep telling myself that they are just people too ya know, helps🤷♂️
Hi
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It's Sad how our youth have gotten so entitled. When you get older you'll see that finances can change drastically in only a span 5 years. Please realize college is not owed to you as you go off at 18 you are legally an adult. Maybe you could have worked and bought your own car. Maybe your Dad disagreed with how your mom or you and your mom spent his portion of the money. He obviously did enough to help you get accepted to school. Realize this the money he may have to have started investing might be worth more to you than college when you don't have to spend your future money trying to raise kids and paying for parent care. Get over yourself he doesn't owe you anything. Your parents don't owe you, the world doesn't owe you anything -make the most of what you have been given, be thankful and do well with your life!
You can talk about entitlement all you want, but when parents pay for everything for one kid and nothing for the other, that's just wrong.
Parents do owe the children they bring into the world. Parents who choose one child over another should not have had a second child.
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Forgive your Dad for your own sake. Bitterness and unforgiveness hurt you more than the other person
Nah, it won't. Those things don't hurt you at all if make good choices with them. I wonder why people buy into that woowoo that having negative experiences that you chose to acknowledged and deal with is bad for you. ALL emotions are valid even bitterness. Assholes need to be cut outta your life. Parents are no exception. They are not gods - they are humans. No human who hadn't repented of their bad way deserves anything - not even forgiveness. We don't owe anyone anything. We only get one life. So it sounds like brainwashing to keep people under the thumb of an abuser when people say to do otherwise like forgive your abuser and keep the relationship.
All emotions are valid, but your logic is very flawed. If you were crying from sadness, would you want to never get over it? Cry yourself to death? Why would you recommend someone holds onto negative feelings? It makes no sense!!
My take on it (learned through therapy) is that all emotions teach us something. Pain and loss teach us that what is gone was valuable, and to value what we have in the present moment. Anger can teach us that something is wrong, and remembering that anger can teach us to make better choices (for example, not trusting someone who has screwed you over). Jealousy, fear, joy, sorrow, no emotion is good or bad, they become good or bad depending on how you handle them. It's not a matter of holding on to negative feelings, but not putting yourself in a situation where you'll have to deal with the same negative feelings as before (example: not putting yourself in a situation where someone abusive has the power to be abusive again). That's all my opinion/experience, and I'm not an expert by far.
You have a great therapist! You're right, feelings aren't inherently good or bad. They are meant to deliver a message, sometimes of needed changes. There's nothing wrong with finding your own happiness, even if it takes distancing yourself from others. Toxic relationships should be treated as the poison they are & steered clear of. It's a sign of maturity to know when to walk away. No one asks for your permission to live their life, why should you ask for theirs? If you truly like/love yourself, you'll do your best to protect yourself from dangerous situations. Society doesn't teach us our emotions are valid simply bcuz we are human beings. We're ostracized if we choose to focus on our own well-being. Men are ridiculed for showing emotions, women are criticized. This is why mental illness is so pervasive in the U.S. You may not be an expert, but you've learned from one. Stay loyal to yourself, you're worth it. Accept you have emotions & act accordingly. You're human, after all.
Mental illness is caused by the reaction to a person's emotions. You have to be kidding, right?
You are twisting everybody's comments around until they mean something completely different than what they actually said. You REALLY need to stop doing that. It's dishonest! The person didn't say that mental illness was caused by reaction to a person's emotions, they indicated that part of the stigma of mental illness is caused by the fact that people aren't allowed to have or show normal emotions. that's much different than what you just said.
Nothing against you but all these platitudes sound great until some real s**t happens. Pain and loss teach what is valuable! Ffs, I buried my only child in August. I already knew his value. It's therapy like this that leaves people unprepared for reality. I don't have the will to go through every scenario but be assured that when sh!t happens those platitudes won't help get you through. At the same time I hope that you will never have chance to test this.
@R I'm so sorry for your loss. That is horrible. But I think you missed the actual point of his comment. Which is that NO emotion or feeling is good or bad. All emotions serve a purpose or teach us something valid.
Just bcuz someone cuts someone who hurt them out of their life, doesn't mean they hold onto negative feelings. Often the opposite. I held resentments for my parents while trying to have healthy relationships w/them. Yet they made me feel inadequate & ashamed. I cut them out of my life, began to understand my worth & learned to love myself. I vowed never to subject myself to their narcissistic abuse again. After years of therapy, I don't harbor negative feelings. Instead, I foster positive feelings for myself & simply don't waste energy on them. As time goes by, I feel no real emotions when I think of them, which isn't often. If anything, I pity them. Being estranged from family members is akin to breaking up with an abuser. You do it bcuz you love yourself & realize you deserve better; you don't stay with them bcuz society might judge you. Life's too short to be miserable. We only get one, & I'm living my life the way I want- free of toxic relationships & happy with myself.
Mmm
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What a sense of entitlement. Didn't your parents worked hard to make their money? If you feel entitled to their money, should they be equally entitled to yours? I never felt my parents should support my higher education, nor anything else I did when I became an adult. I am the oldest and my 'entitled' siblings got more because they expected it. I'm not angry about that; my parents have a right spent their money as they wish. Perhaps what you should be complaining about is your ingratitude, rather than your parents distribution choices; I'll bet you don't want people telling you how to spend your money. I'm not surprised that you've chosen not speak to your parents. I can say, you will regret that choice someday.
That's fine you shouldn't rely on your parents money once you are a adult. However then the parents should have made it clear we are not going to pay for any of our children's educations. It's wrong!
I don't think it's that much about money as it's the fact they lied to him.
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Did they lie? Maybe they are just in a more financially stable position now. Maybe OP needs to consider that.
Read the post. They were not honest with him.
Tell us again about not reading (or understanding? the whole post...)
No. Or they would have said that. They just stiffened up & told him it was none of his business. So yeah, they lied. If they didn't lie they would have explained it to him because they wouldn't want him to go off believing that they lied and that they like his sister better.
I agree. I paid my way, working a variety of part time jobs. The students that didn't have to work were incredibly self centered and oblivious to the struggles of those of us that had to support ourselves.
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Yep been there done that. Except I’m now doing my masters in public health and sibling flunked out of 3 degrees because entitled sibling never had to pay anything
same thing with my husband, they even tried to kick him out while we was in school and working to pay for it. His younger brother, 3 years university fully paid by parents, never finished, kept failing. works in the trades now, my husband works at that university.
The trades are actually an awesome alternative to the traditional path of going to college, although I get your point that he was entitled and didn't use the education that was given to him to his advantage and took it all for granted...but I would say that anyone who doesn't want student debt hanging over their heads, and can physically do the work, to consider an apprenticeship in the trades. Depending on where you are, the wages are amazing (anywhere from $30-$50 per hour or more for the journeyman wage) My niece just started an electrical apprenticeship and her journey wages when she finishes will be $55 an hour! Again, I'm not taking away from why you wrote that comment, I'm just trying to spread awareness about an alternative route. 😃
Agree 100% about considering trades. Also we need qualified trades people in our society. Thanks for bringing this idea into the discussion.
A person shouldn't have to be a plumber when they can be a doctor or scientist just because of money.
I think, if you want to be a doctor, you will find a way. If that’s your passion and love, go after that dream! Many financial institutions offer grants, based on a career pathway, or a loan based on the same. You just need to go in to them, and ask. They could have criteria you meet. Like a single black female, wanting to study medicine, music etc. . You get the gist. One bank actually printed out all the grants and loans with all the criteria to get it, for me. One was strictly fora female, to study medicine, nursing or to ne a doctor, go to this institution, and they would cover your tuition for your college career. No debt. And, the woman told my mom and me, there , was money that went unused because kids just didn’t know about these grants etc. it is amazing. So, gotta ask the right questions!
Would have had to take on $200k-$300k in debt. You are either really, really entitled or on better drugs than we get here if you believe that in the US!
Plus, we need more young people in the trades! The education is wonderful, you meet your fair share of butt heads, but also meet some really great people! Plus, you will likely, never be out of a job!
Just saying if you take trades average wages and university workers average wages the trades make more so idk the point your trying to make.
Doesn't it depend on what job you have at the university? And then, if you're in an administrative role, you're definitely going to make more than the average trade worker. Also, depending on which university you're working at and the coursework you're taking on, it easily gets into the hundreds of thousands. Pretty sure since that's literally their brother-in-law they know the pay difference between their husband and the brother.
I will have to agree with the other commenters. You shouldn't use education to mock other people who didn't get it. That's incredibly arrogant and rude.
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"While we was in school"? It looks like your elementary school failed to do its job...
She meant to say "while HE was in school". Typo. Get off the soap box.
Its a typo. I have teeny tiny child sized hands yet if I put my thumb all the way down on my phone keyboard it touches 4 letters at once. Easy af to hit the wrong letters or have autocorrect put in something funky even when youve typed a proper word. Mine keeps trying to change the word "ill" to "I'll" and "hell" to "he'll" when clearly those dont need correcting.
Good on you!!
Good point! Paying for something makes you appreciate it more. Maybe sister wasn't keen on going so they offered to pay as an incentive. First kid is probably more successful as a result. That sucks though! For them to just blow it off instead of explaining was awful.
Not at all surprised Cecily, good on you