“I Ended Up Losing My Mind”: Man Asks If He Was Wrong To Yell At His Wife After She Woke Him Up To Help With The Kids

NTA. I know this kind of exhaustion. You can't think straight. You can't function. Everything in your body aches and you don't care where you lay, you're out the moment you close your eyes. Let the guy sleep.

My Dad worked crazy hours like this to provide things for us. He had a massive heart attack at 52 and died. I was 16. Seriously, stop this. Your wife is an a*****e. Gym and yoga are not so important you can't have a day away, or do it at home.

🤯 Sick husband is more important than cleaning, yoga... wife has kids 4 hours a day and when kids usually get home from school der tired and they come to life after 6 when near bedtime... poor man shouldnt have 2 cook family dinner, wife could do it when kids r doin homework... My mother/father had 6 kids, dad worked ft so mam got us up 4 school, had dinner ready after school, cleaned house ect, my dad made her breakie in bed and cleaned house and made dinner sat and sun took us al out 4 dinner.. 50/50 same as myself and my husband...

NTA. Sure, apologise for yelling, but yelling was understandable. You were ordered to take a week of complete rest after being taken to the hospital for exhaustion. The two of you agreed that you would have a day completely off so you could sleep. Then she wakes you at 6.30am to walk the kids to school, so she can do yoga. You aren't "getting a day off from being a parent", you are a parent sick from exhaustion and having a day in bed. She can be a parent who skips yoga class and drops her kids at school on the way to the gym.

This man is sick from exhaustion and desperately needs a break, but because she wants to go to yoga she woke him up and then gets angry when he asks her to just let him sleep. He probably wouldn't have yelled at her if she wasn't acting like an entitled nut. Him being sick is far more important than her going to yoga. If yoga is that important, she could put on a yoga video on YouTube and do that. As far as I understand, this guy pulls his weight at home, so I don't understand why his wife can't cut him some slack.

I felt overwhelmed just by reading that.

NTA, but is this job worth it? Bein so overworked ya burn out to the point of seeking medical care is one ruby red flag. The other is the wife's abject lack of concern for him. IMO OP needs more than a day off & may need psychological help to re-evaluate his life. This is going to end badly.

The more of these I read, the more I realize that a lot of folks should not be breeding.

It is interesting to note that having managed to get back to sleep he slept until 4pm. That's (including the interruption) 19hrs - so his wife disturbed him halfway through the sleep his body needed for his recovery. In that condition, I'm not surprised he shouted at her. He literally had a doctor's demand he rest for a week, he was exhausted to the verge of burn out, needed sleep and yet was expected to walk the kids to school so her normal morning yoga plans weren't affected?!? The only thing I can think of to possibly excuse his wife's actions is, in his extreme exhaustion, he didn't properly articulate the issue before he went to sleep and she didn't understand as he'd thought.

I know I'll get tons of criticism but I'll say it. Being a SAHM, especially with kids that age, it's not a hard work. I've experienced the SAHM life several times: I was a full time nanny for a couple of months, for several summers. I had the kids for the whole week, night and day; the parents only came on the weekend and switched with me (and in the weekend I worked another job, FYI). Usually four kids, aged from 1 to 6 (they obviously got older over the years). I had to clean, cook, help them with their homework, get groceries, invent a new activity everyday to entertain them. And it was the whole day, no school (because it was summertime), all by myself. I have to tell ya, it was not even difficult, it was easy. Sure, I didn't experience the "sick" days, but I got the temper tantrums, the "I miss mommy", "I'm bored"... It's not even remotely tiring as going to work so yeah, the OP is NTA.

NTA.. He should schedule time for himself as business trip or merting abd book a hotel room.oder room service..turn on the tele..get in bed.. take a melatonin and sleep until his body is ready to wake up after it is fully rested. She is a lazy, selfish and entitled wife. The kids are in school for most of the day so she staying with them from 1-5 is really that difficult when you have been working from 8-5 to then spend 4hrs with then til 9pm. How dors she pay for yoga and gym? If you dont work she can't do that and inorder to be productive at work you have to be healthy. Being grumpy and raising your voice at her in the moment when you are mentally frazzled isnt toxic. She is the toxic one being lackadaisical and not willing to compromise just for a few hours. Tell her to go get a real 9-5 , I bet she will sing a different tune when she is burnt out from both ends.

NTA and his wife is abusing the situation. If her stay at home work is so hard and time-consuming she should not be going to the gym/yoga for TWO HOURS. If her workout time is the same as when he takes the kids to school then she should be dropping them at school. Op is being used and abused as she only has the kids for 4 hours while he works insane hours with little to no sleep. She agreed and then stepped back on the agreement to prioritize her gym/yoga time over his health. Then she gaslighted him by saying he was avoiding parental responsibility and was toxic to her. She sounds an awful lot like a narcissist.

If people at work have noticed and the doctors have recommended he take time off, then he should do it. Go somewhere for a week, I'm sure his wife can manage to look after the children for such a short amount of time, she can follow yoga videos on YouTube and cooking is not hard. The guys going to kill himself otherwise.

NTA for pointing out she was supposed to be dropping off the children at school, BUT unless you determine where she actually is going to when she says she is at the gym and yoga for two hours then you are an 'A*s' . Been there, been the victim of that, (!) per the courtesy of my first (ex-wife) who said she was shopping from 8:00 PM till 10:00 PM until * finally had a friend watch our children and 5he followed in my friend's vehicle to a motel not far from our house where she had been meeting someone who I thought was a friend - her sorry a*s was out the door within a few months, but unfortunately so was my son and daughter. If this is the situation make sure you have your "ducks in a row" and more than enough proof to bury her in the mud before you confront her. For your sake I hope she is going to the gym and yoga, but at the same time she should be more concerned for your health than her gym and yoga classes because if not, then something is still Very Wrong in your relationship.

I think the wife doesn't grasp team work, and he's ill. She should have pursued other options, like "he's ill. Maybe I can find a different yoga class today to go to while the kids are in school. Or maybe skip it this one day because he is ill" I work full time and also had two kids, but that didn't give me a pass on being flexible for my partner's life and schedule.

NTA. It sounds like they have been treating their marriage like a balance sheet. In the normal course of things, when Dad is up to it, he should be looking for ways to love and support his wife. He implies that he does that. When she's able, she should do the same. Then when there is stress on one partner, the other will be more likely to go the extra mile. Take care of the crisis with as much grace as possible. (Mom, step up!) Then get back to being loving partners together. They may need counseling to return to a healthy place in the relationship.

If he normally never sleeps, I can see her misunderstanding that he wasn't fine again after his long nap and a solid 9 hours

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You're close to a physical, mental and emotional breakdown because of overwork and stress and lack of sleep. And your body obviously needs sleep if your coworkers were alarmed enough to take you to the hospital and the doctor to give you a 1week of medical leave to sleep and rest. Your wife could have and should have put your needs over her yoga class. Your wife, sir is TA, not you.

NTA. I went in for a routine check up with my doctor...and she put me on medical leave for a week. My wife...let me rest. Occasionally I would go for a walk and she came along, but didn't force anything on me. She later stated that she was worried, saw how work was taking a toll on me. I eventually changed jobs....which turned out for the worse, but I updated the Resume and now work for someone else. Things got way too toxic at the old place.

I think the conclusion here is... DO NOT HAVE KIDS, THEY F**K UP YOUR LIFE...

Anyone else get the idea the wife might be doing more then Yoga in this scenerio or is it just me?

School starting at 7:15am? No wonder American kids are f*cked up.

From what I read, she asked him to walk the kids to school. So you get yo a*s outta bed, put on comfy pants, walk the kids to school and go right back to bed. Before you all start downvoting, I've had this kind of job. Start at 8, work thru until 3 or 4 then rinse and repeat days on end. U a dad, u got s**t u gotta do. Stop whining.

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I think there's two sides to every story and I want to hear her side. Why is everyone dumping on the mom? Taking care of two small kids, and the house and the shopping and errands and everything else is a lot of work! Also, we only have his word about what she's doing instead of walking the kids to school and even if she is going to yoga, so what?! She needs to take care of herself too, both parents being sick isn't going to help anyone. She is right that you're still a parent even when you're sick and/or tired, I don't trust his take on it alone.