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Ex Dies Leaving Behind A Baby Mama, A Car Loan, And One Unexpected Insurance Decision
Taking out life insurance can be a great way to guarantee financial safety for your loved ones in a worst-case scenario. In 2023, there were around 134 million individual life insurance policies in the U.S. and 118 million people with group life insurance.
But in a twist of drama, sometimes people choose beneficiaries that might surprise their families. In this story, the man chose his ex, which caused his family to demand she give away the payout to his baby and their mom. Feeling like she “earned” the money and wanting to honor his decision, the woman refused.
RELATED:
A woman received her ex’s life insurance payout but was soon approached by his parents
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / pexels (not the actual photo)
They believed her money should go to them and the man’s child
Image credits: drazenphoto / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwsnsawa
This story shows how important it is to untangle finances with an ex
Image credits: FabrikaPhoto / envato (not the actual photo)
Going through a breakup is hard enough without having to worry about finances. But there are some things all couples should do after breaking up, one of which is to untangle their shared finances. Even if they’re not married – and many couples in this day and age are not.
Recent research shows that around 12% of American couples are cohabiting instead of living in a married household. So, it’s natural that couples in long-term relationships merge their finances. After all, 61% of couples in the U.K. say they share household expenses.
Financial experts generally recommend carefully assessing what belongs to whom after a breakup. And we’re talking about more serious assets than a shared Netflix account. Some advise making a comprehensive list and including everything from credit cards, car loans, and mortgages to jewelry, collectibles, and furniture.
A car that is under one partner’s name but is financed by the other certainly creates serious financial entanglement. It’s then no surprise that the author of this story wanted her name off the car lease.
Figuring out finances after a breakup is hard, so couples should discuss the “what ifs” while still together
This story is like a cautionary tale for others on how important it is to figure out shared finances when you break up with someone. The author details how she asked her ex-boyfriend to refinance the car multiple times, but got nowhere.
The truth is that having conversations about finances is awkward after you’ve broken up. The experts at Patriot Federal Credit Union recommend sorting things out as calmly and rationally as possible. Sometimes, having a neutral third party, like a mediator or a financial advisor, can help.
Some experts even recommend discussing these things while still in the relationship. However, for many, it’s a taboo topic. A study by researchers from the universities of Cornell and Yale found that people often avoid money topics because they think it’ll lead to a fight.
But financial therapist Aja Evans told The New York Times that, ideally, couples should talk about money at least once a month. “I love the ‘money date’ concept,” she said.
For some couples, it might be best to discuss the financial changes after a potential breakup while still together. As family lawyer Catherine Costley told Refinery29, unmerging finances after a breakup is “like shutting the door after the horse has bolted.”
If nothing else works, couples should consider reaching out to a professional. “Emotional support from family is great, but if your finances are tangled, professional advice is key,” personal finance expert Aaron Peake told Stylist. “[They] can help you understand your options and support you through the financial side of things.”
In the comments, the woman detailed how much the car the man left her was worth
Most commenters sided with the woman: “It was HIS decision”
Still, others thought she should act in good faith and give away the insurance payout to the kid’s mom
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What do you think ?
BrownEyedPanda 9 months ago
To the yahoos saying that OP should give the money to the woman who busted up her marriage, I say: go suck a dozen eggs. That money is meant for OP and her alone. To avoid any more harassment about the car, she should sell it and get it off of her credit, then move on with her life. Since her ex's family are so keen on the bang partner having $$ and a car, THEY can provide her with both. OP isn't part of that equation; never was, never will be.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 9 months ago
Yep - the ex's mom can give HER 25% to the baby mama and the baby if she's sooooo concerned about her son's affair child XD
Load More Replies...
Kathrin Pukowsky 9 months ago
I'm amused by the YTA-commenters with their "the money should go to the BABYYY!!1!" I agree with that sentiment, the money should have gone to the baby, but the person who made the decision to NOT give the money to the baby was daddy dearest when he set up the life insurance policy. If they want to point fingers and scream "YTA!", they are pointing in the entirely wrong direction. And I don't believe that baby momma needs the car for work. $23,800 still to pay? That's a nice, new car. If baby momma (or ex' family) can't cough up the money to buy some reliable beater car to get to work, she won't be able to pay the rates for this nice, new car. If OP gave it to her, it would be sold within the week and OP wouldn't see a cent of the money to get rid of the lien in her name.
jasper 9 months ago
Right? And it's not like the baby is going to get it anyway, Mom will probably spend it on c**p she wants but doesn't need. OP is NTA, hard pass on anything else.
Load More Replies...
sturmwesen 9 months ago
I am firmly in the " the deceased decided and that's final" corner as long as there is no coercing/mental issue. The Ex did not forget. He has changed the policy after breakup and baby. Keep the money.
Tabitha 9 months ago (edited)
I think a judge would free with you, after looking at the date of the purchase and naming of beneficiaries on the insurance policy.
Load More Replies... Wild Cream 9 months ago
If he wanted her to have the money, he would have left it to her. Oh, wait 😊 I think she should keep it. It’s what he wanted.
Liserhawkie80 9 months ago
If it was truly a work accident, there's going to be a payout there in the form of a lawsuit or worker's comp that will go to the family/child, so it's not like OP's insurance money and car is the only money available to them. She needs to sell the car and block everyone.
Estelle E. 9 months ago
He was a toxic man. Behaved like an a*****e to his ex. He's exactly the same with the mother of his kid. Some people wonder if he had commit suic*de, perhaps he just chose to split the money that way to p**s everybody off.
Mary Muir 9 months ago
the larger share of the life insurance was deliberately left to OP as the ex. Probably to make up for the car loan being in her name. She should keep that insurance money, she can pay off the car loan and sell that car. Or sell her regular car and start driving ex's vehicle herself. Letting baby momma drive it? Oh heck no! Fast track to disaster! Baby momma can use her share of the life insurance, and whatever else deceased left her, to buy a reliable second hand honda civic or something similar. She doesn't need anything fancy. It's not OP's fault her ex left as much money to his mother as to the mother of his child! Ex made those decisions, not her.
Tabitha 9 months ago (edited)
I’m sure the ex didn’t ONLY has insurance money to leave to anyone. He probably also had retirement investments, a bank account, and other property to pass on. Not sure who got any of that, but if it was left to his child or their mothers, then baby mama and ex’s mama should just be glad they got something and STFU. OP did her time, it was obvious not easy on her, and she deserves to be reimbursed for it, ffs. So yes, OP should just block the vultures trying to pick the bones clean when the body isn’t hardly even cold yet, and move on.
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 9 months ago (edited)
I think the baby is eligible for his death benefits from Social Security, and that giving the mother of that child the money does literally nothing to guarantee it will be for the benefit of the baby. She should block them, sell the car and probably go to therapy to work through the residual anger indicated by feeling she earned the money through pain and suffering. She is clearly still in pain. Guilt or even potentially sticking it to the affair partner likely led to his decision but she doesn’t owe the girlfriend anything. If she feels at all guilty donate to a children’s charity but she’s morally in the clear on just carrying on with her life. Also, the irony of his family being angry with her because of the baby not receiving the money. The relationship broke up because the girlfriend was pregnant, he made the ex a beneficiary after they broke up. He actively chose to abdicate any responsibility to that baby.
BrownEyedPanda 9 months ago
To the yahoos saying that OP should give the money to the woman who busted up her marriage, I say: go suck a dozen eggs. That money is meant for OP and her alone. To avoid any more harassment about the car, she should sell it and get it off of her credit, then move on with her life. Since her ex's family are so keen on the bang partner having $$ and a car, THEY can provide her with both. OP isn't part of that equation; never was, never will be.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 9 months ago
Yep - the ex's mom can give HER 25% to the baby mama and the baby if she's sooooo concerned about her son's affair child XD
Load More Replies... Kathrin Pukowsky 9 months ago
I'm amused by the YTA-commenters with their "the money should go to the BABYYY!!1!" I agree with that sentiment, the money should have gone to the baby, but the person who made the decision to NOT give the money to the baby was daddy dearest when he set up the life insurance policy. If they want to point fingers and scream "YTA!", they are pointing in the entirely wrong direction. And I don't believe that baby momma needs the car for work. $23,800 still to pay? That's a nice, new car. If baby momma (or ex' family) can't cough up the money to buy some reliable beater car to get to work, she won't be able to pay the rates for this nice, new car. If OP gave it to her, it would be sold within the week and OP wouldn't see a cent of the money to get rid of the lien in her name.
jasper 9 months ago
Right? And it's not like the baby is going to get it anyway, Mom will probably spend it on c**p she wants but doesn't need. OP is NTA, hard pass on anything else.
Load More Replies... sturmwesen 9 months ago
I am firmly in the " the deceased decided and that's final" corner as long as there is no coercing/mental issue. The Ex did not forget. He has changed the policy after breakup and baby. Keep the money.
Tabitha 9 months ago (edited)
I think a judge would free with you, after looking at the date of the purchase and naming of beneficiaries on the insurance policy.
Load More Replies... Wild Cream 9 months ago
If he wanted her to have the money, he would have left it to her. Oh, wait 😊 I think she should keep it. It’s what he wanted.
Liserhawkie80 9 months ago
If it was truly a work accident, there's going to be a payout there in the form of a lawsuit or worker's comp that will go to the family/child, so it's not like OP's insurance money and car is the only money available to them. She needs to sell the car and block everyone.
Estelle E. 9 months ago
He was a toxic man. Behaved like an a*****e to his ex. He's exactly the same with the mother of his kid. Some people wonder if he had commit suic*de, perhaps he just chose to split the money that way to p**s everybody off.
Mary Muir 9 months ago
the larger share of the life insurance was deliberately left to OP as the ex. Probably to make up for the car loan being in her name. She should keep that insurance money, she can pay off the car loan and sell that car. Or sell her regular car and start driving ex's vehicle herself. Letting baby momma drive it? Oh heck no! Fast track to disaster! Baby momma can use her share of the life insurance, and whatever else deceased left her, to buy a reliable second hand honda civic or something similar. She doesn't need anything fancy. It's not OP's fault her ex left as much money to his mother as to the mother of his child! Ex made those decisions, not her.
Tabitha 9 months ago (edited)
I’m sure the ex didn’t ONLY has insurance money to leave to anyone. He probably also had retirement investments, a bank account, and other property to pass on. Not sure who got any of that, but if it was left to his child or their mothers, then baby mama and ex’s mama should just be glad they got something and STFU. OP did her time, it was obvious not easy on her, and she deserves to be reimbursed for it, ffs. So yes, OP should just block the vultures trying to pick the bones clean when the body isn’t hardly even cold yet, and move on.
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 9 months ago (edited)
I think the baby is eligible for his death benefits from Social Security, and that giving the mother of that child the money does literally nothing to guarantee it will be for the benefit of the baby. She should block them, sell the car and probably go to therapy to work through the residual anger indicated by feeling she earned the money through pain and suffering. She is clearly still in pain. Guilt or even potentially sticking it to the affair partner likely led to his decision but she doesn’t owe the girlfriend anything. If she feels at all guilty donate to a children’s charity but she’s morally in the clear on just carrying on with her life. Also, the irony of his family being angry with her because of the baby not receiving the money. The relationship broke up because the girlfriend was pregnant, he made the ex a beneficiary after they broke up. He actively chose to abdicate any responsibility to that baby.
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