Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
“Apparently He’s Into Men Now”: 30 People Who Regret Not Leaving Their SO Sooner
Happily-ever-afters are rarer than you might think. According to research, 85% of people will experience a breakup in their lifetime, while two-thirds of couples end up breaking up within half a year of becoming parents for the first time. The reality is that not everyone is compatible, nor is everyone willing to work hard on their flaws. And sometimes, the signs are clear for everyone to see.
Internet user u/peachsnatch sparked a vulnerable online discussion on r/AskReddit after asking everyone to share what their exes have done that should’ve made them leave right then and there. Scroll down for their stories and what major relationship red flags look like.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
She hit me. A lot. She was also verbally abusive and made fun of my PTSD from military service. I finally worked up the courage to leave a few months ago.
Papa 1 year ago
What do you mean "man or woman"? OP clearly said "she." Twice, as a matter of fact.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 1 year ago
So glad you got away from her, I can only guess that she made the PTSD worse with her abuse.
RELATED:
#2
Told me “he’s just a cat, you’ll be okay.” When my best friend died.
WindySwede 1 year ago
Found the boyfriend at the bottom of these comments..
Load More Replies...
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
Ain't no such thing as "just a cat", or "just a dog" or "just a rat" for that matter.
Lady Miss Pie 1 year ago
Losing a pet is literally losing a family member. We don’t say “It’s just your aunt” or whatever. People who don’t love animals are missing a soul.
#3
She was at my place, said she had to go home. I said something along the lines of "okay, have a safe trip back." She got mad at me for not fighting for her to stay longer. It felt so immature. I have no interest in games, only clear and open communication. I dumped her the next day.
Adam Chang 1 year ago
Dodge a bullet, more test would come..."Just want to see if you cheat", "Just want to see if you saved me first"
Papa 1 year ago
You forgot about "Would you still love me if I was a worm?"
Load More Replies...
No relationship is perfect, sure, but they’re not all made equal. Happy and healthy relationships require a ton of consistent effort to maintain, as well as a lot of compatibility between the partners. Good communication, transparency, trust, honesty, mutual respect, a willingness to compromise—without these things, the relationship might not last very long.
There’s a difference between yellow flags (which tell you to slow down in the relationship) and red flags (which tell you to get out of the relationship ASAP). Clinical psychologist Wendy Walsh, PhD, told Verywell Mind that some examples of red flags include a history of violence, chronic cheating, or substance abuse. Meanwhile, a yellow flag “might include difficulty with emotional communication that the person is aware of and working on.”
#4
Chasing me down the highway after a fight, passing and braking in front of me until I pulled over. The knots you can tie yourself into at 20 to convince yourself that reckless and abusive behaviour is somehow romantic is absolutely insane.
Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
Not only at 20...an ex and good friend of mine was chased in the highway by an ex who couldn't let go...at 40 🙄. I was dating him then and told him l didn't want his past to affect my present, so he either had a stern talk, or press charges, or whatever needed to be done.
Amanda Fondaumiere 1 year ago
We see some of these crazy things in movies and television. While it’s not the entire problem it normalizes that behavior for some. Who wouldn't want big grand gestures made for them in some sweeping love story? Unfortunately, we don’t always see the toxic conduct or it’s hard to break away from. (Generally speaking)
TruthoftheHeart 1 year ago
Yes and then if you're not careful you'll end up pregnant and under his thumb for longer, if so, do what I did take the kid and run.
#5
When I got the call that my grandmother had unexpectedly passed, I was understandably distraught. The usual meltdown with tears and wailing from the utter shock of the whole thing.
He apparently “couldn’t handle” the state I was in and was very upset at my reaction. So I ended up comforting him the whole night/day after instead of properly grieving the loss of someone who was essentially my second mother.
TMcG 1 year ago
I had to fly overseas when my dad unexpectedly died and when I came back a week later exhausted one of the first things he said to me was just that I looked really ugly when I was asleep.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
Yeah, well, he had an ugly soul and that's what counts where ugliness is concerned.
Load More Replies...
Milady Blue 1 year ago
OP comforted this idiot? That must have been interesting, "I'm SO SORRY that my beloved Grandma decided to die, and I selfishly cried for her and hurt your itty bitty widdle feewings."
#6
Disrespected me only "joking".
Some other major signs that your relationship probably won’t work out is if you and your partner have extremely mismatched life goals. For example, if you want to get married and have kids while they don’t, there’s not much of a future there. Similarly, if you dream about living in the suburbs or on a ranch in the countryside while your partner wants to stay in the city, you might have a hard time moving forward. (Unless you sacrifice all of your hopes, dreams, and goals for them, but that’d only lead to resentment and frustration from your side.)
Other red flags include excessive jealousy and distrust, which indicate that your partner is very insecure and has issues with control. A good rule of thumb is to rethink your relationship if your partner is excessively controlling. If your partner tries to control who you meet, where you go, what you wear, how you spend your hard-earned money, and what you do online, it’s definitely not healthy.
#7
Making me feel bad for bringing up something that made me uncomfortable, insecure, sad, angry, or any other emotion.
Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
Yup. Apparently l should have suck his infidelity up and not bring it up because it was "tiresome". He topped it all off insinuating l had mental health problems for not getting over it. After a lot of therapy, turns out HE was my mental health problem. So much so that l'm cured 😀. F**k you, JD
#8
Manipulating me into not going out, seeing friends, meeting new people, having hobbies on my own. Basically anything that caused us to not be together 24/7.
Squashie 1 year ago
This is isolation. "Isolation tactics are forms of emotional abuse and include such behaviors as restricting a person's contact with family and friends or physically confining a person. Isolation aims to undermine the victim's life and identity outside the relationship and foster a sense of dependency."
Steve Robert 1 year ago
None of the outside interests should ever threaten the exclusive bond between committed couples. And , without 100% trust, a marriage will not succeed.
Just stopping by 1 year ago
I don't understand why people do this. I encourage my husband to go out with his friends whether I go or not. Go be free and have some space from me. I adore my own me time as well😊
brandyy17 1 year ago
i had an ex like this. wen i said i wanted to break up he got kinda violent. it made me feel bad eventually i was afraid to leave bc of his violent outbursts. thankfully one of the few times my parents wanted me home and he allowed it i slipped down the stairs breaking my ankle. i told him i wouldnt b able to hang out for awhile and he flipped out. said i can stay at his house while i recover. i said no and told him i wanted to end things. he flipped out again. i said we r done and ignored all texts and calls. i lived in a gated community so he couldnt come to my house to bother me since every time the guard called we told him not to let my ex in. it wasnt until i started going for walks doing laps around a hotel parking lot right near my community that i met my now husband. however a week later i noticed my exs car in the parking lot. he had been following me since the break up. he watched me get to kno my now husband. ended up getting a restraining order which he broke by coming up to me wen i was with a friend. my friend punched him asked mall security to hold him while she called the police. not only did he get time for going against the restraining order but he had a knife, gun and date rape d***s in his car. cops later told me he admitted to wanting to kill me bc if he couldnt have me no one could.
#9
Ex number 1 (wife) - Banging other dudes
Ex number 2 - Ambushing me in my sleep and beating the s**t out of me
Ex number 3 - The third or fourth time I had to make sure she stayed dressed while carrying her out of a formal work event
I got myself into counselling after seeing a pattern.
Melissa Harris 1 year ago
Some people are attracted to self-destructive people. Hope the OP made progress in therapy.
Broadredpanda 1 year ago
Wow! Sorry! I hope you know there's someone out there that will appreciate you. I don't know why I'm saying this tbf because I've been on my own a long time and I plan to stay that way, but it seems you want to be with someone. You'll find her or she'll find you!
At what point did you realize that you had to leave your exes, dear Pandas? What were the biggest red flags that you saw in their behavior?
What advice would you give someone who is in a toxic relationship but is scared of breaking things off? Share your thoughts in the comments.
#10
She spat in my face during an argument. I should have ended it there, but I was dumb enough to stick around a couple of weeks more, when she did it again.
Scott Rackley 1 year ago
Spitting on someone is assault, you are allowed to defend yourself from assault.
XenoMurph 1 year ago
Physical violence is never acceptable. Being female doesn't excuse it.
Load More Replies...
#11
Consistent disrespect, belittling or talking down, especially in front of others.
#12
One night my cat was dying and I had organised to go and take him to be euthanised. He said why spend money when he could just hit him over the head?
In the same night I came back from the vets to bury my beloved kit cat, he thought I was being unfaithful (I now know projecting) and went through my phone as I sat and cried.
He didn’t find anything except contacts he didn’t know- he created a group what’s app thread on my phone, with all male contacts (my bosses, colleagues, my brothers, cousins, etc) and sent nude photos he’d taken of me and posted in that chat.
I feel one of my brothers has never been the same with me & the horror of having to go to work the next day is something I’ll always carry.
Slowdown 1 year ago
I used to be that brother, but when my sister insisted on choosing multiple violent men over her own safety, I just couldn't be that guy anymore.
Load More Replies...
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago (edited)
Can I hit the twatbasket (credits to Nat) over the head instead? Would be worth spending the night in the slammer for >:-(
Gen X Feral 1 year ago (edited)
I'll bail you out, no problemo. 😬 We can even stop for waffles otw home
Load More Replies... Papa 1 year ago
I will preface this by saying I am by no means victim blaming, or making excuses for this man's despicable behavior. Now they I've made that clear, hopefully this will make other women cautious about letting a male acquaintance, even one you've known and trusted for a long time, take photos of you that you wouldn't want other people to see.
Niamh Gallagher 1 year ago
There's no guarantee she consented to them. However you are also victim blaming. Nasty people will find a way. It's amazing how perfectly innocent pictures look very different when cropped.
Load More Replies...
MoMcB 1 year ago
Mine used to unscrew the lock on the bathroom door, and take photos of me showering "for a laugh". One day I was on the shared laptop, and he hadn't deleted his browsing history, and there was a website, obviously an adult website. I clicked on it, there was the photos he'd taken. That was the very last straw.
Kalikima 1 year ago
That's terrible, I'm so sorry that happened to you.. what did you do? Were you able to get them down?
Load More Replies...
Disgruntled Pelican 1 year ago
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the revenge pörn at the very least? Defamation even?
BROmanicus85 1 year ago
One of my brother's ex friend had once tried to hit a cat in the head with a hammer... I just remember seeing him with the kitty in one hand and the hammer in the other hand, trying to leave. When asked what he's doing, he just said the kitty's not gonna make it and he would end her suffering. I got so enraged that I yelled at him to put the kitty down otherwise I'd take the hammer and whack him in the head with it!!! He finally stood down... The kitty lived for more than 10 years more while we broke ties with him.... Can't be friends with someone that could to such a thing and talk about doing it so calmly!
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
How is that psycho not beaten into a coma before being arrested?
Valerie Brillhart 1 year ago
Why are WOMEN an MEN so stupid to let someone take nude pictures of you. Stop they see you NUDE they DO NOT NEED A PICTURE TOO.Then you get pissed they sent them to other when they get mad. STOP TAKING NUDES, it's not Rocket science
#13
Threw my phone off a 7th story balcony while raging drunk, convinced that I was cheating on her....yeah kept dating her for another two years RIP me.
Alexandra 1 year ago
Sorry what? Two years?? Two years that could have seen you meeting a nice gf, becoming engaged to her and then married. What a waste!
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
It must be so awful looking back and realising that POS took X number of years of your life they didn't deserve.
Load More Replies... #14
In my first serious relationship, there was a lot of s**t he did that I turned a blind eye to because I was desperate to be loved. I think a major one was that he would grab and jerk my steering wheel around at high speeds and laugh that I was scared. People who do that do not care about you. I should've left before it even started, but when you grow up with abuse, it looks like love. It takes a lot to realize it's not normal and that you deserve better.
whodunnitfan2013 1 year ago
I'm very thankful that I'm healing from my childhood trauma before major life events and entering into new relationships.
Momo ONeil 1 year ago
Those last two sentences are so true. I grew up in disfunction, neglect, chaos, and fear. I didn't know what a healthy relationship felt like. Disfunction was familiar, and anything that was healthy felt wrong. It took way too long for me to want something that was good for me. To feel like I deserved something good. I finally have that and I can't believe how much better life is when you have a partner who loves you in a healthy way.
woodswhispers 1 year ago
I know this isn't the point of this post, and I'm so glad you were able to get past this relationship, but the sentence "when you grow up with abuse, it looks like love" made me realize a lot of things about myself and what I consider the "love" I receive to be..
#15
Man. Where to start. No didn't mean no. She cheated on me. Threw knives at me. Held a knife to my throat in a argument. Tried to run me over a couple times. Lied. A lot. Spilled personal secrets like they meant nothing.
Steve Robert 1 year ago
Should have left when you found out she was cheating. I personally know how hard this is, but frankly you don't really have a choice.
#16
When he broke my ribs and my hand. But instead I forgave him... that time.
#17
She wouldn’t get divorced… Her and her husband were separated and living separate lives but she was still legally married. I asked and pleaded for to get divorced for years. By year 5 along with other problems we had i bailed. I should have never of stayed as long as i did. Lesson learned.
Alexandra 1 year ago
Never trust a man or a woman who tells you that yes, they will get divorced but first........ No. Wait until they actually are divorced, because if you don't, you're just the affair partner and you should have too much self-respect for that.
Steve Robert 1 year ago
It took me years after breaking up to do the paperwork. Only because I just didn't want to have to deal with it. But when I started making real money, and realized I could still be held financially liable for her, that was the incentive that got the divorce finalized.
Load More Replies... #18
He beat my dogs. That should've been the end of it, but the real end of it was when he threatened to beat my kid. I still feel ashamed that I didn't leave long before that.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
Someone beats my dogs.. they wont be able to walk out under their own when the ambulance shows up.
Melissa Harris 1 year ago (edited)
Abusing animals is an indicator of anti-social personality disorder.
#19
Cheated on me at the start. She said she was sorry and I thought we could move from it. We didn't.
Schmebulock 1 year ago (edited)
Cheating is a deal breaker and should NEVER be forgiven.We have normalized cheating and allowed it to become acceptable.
Steve Robert 1 year ago
Yep. Same situation. So sorry we share the same heartbreak. And what made it worse, was that I had a true lover standing by me, even when I thought I was in love with someone else. I lost my true love to a brain aneurysm, and decided that since I would never find another, that I would have cats instead.
#20
In June of last year I spent nearly a month in hospital. After I finally got discharged I get home and she tells me that she got the guest room set up for me. Her excuse for making me sleep in the guest room was "you're on penicillin and I'm allergic to it". It didn't make sense to me at all and stung so much after almost a month of having very little human interaction.
About six months later I found out that she was cheating on me while I was sick.
Schmebulock 1 year ago (edited)
If it was your house also why would you ever let that happen. I would have been GTFO with that BS.
#21
For context, the first girl I was ever in love with, and in a relationship with had passed away in a housefire at a young age. My ex after showing her a picture of the two of us when we were together when we were young said to me, "damn I thought she would be prettier like me, at least now you got someone who’s pretty though." never have I told someone get the f**k out of my house so fast. When she got out to my front porch she said, "wait can we talk about this." and I slammed the damn door and told her to leave. I spent the rest of the night crying my eyes out because I couldn’t believe that someone was so heartless. I opened up to her something that truly meant the world to me and I was beyond nervous to share with her and she showed me exactly why I should’ve never told her in the first place. It absolutely broke me.
tresgatos72 1 year ago
The one you list would be proud of you for standing up for her. True love never dies.
Bonnie Paige-Louise 1 year ago
Yeah really good riddance! Don't be afraid to share that story with your next GF. A caring person wouldn't feel threatened by anyone from your past who died.
Alexandra 1 year ago
I can only assume that since she's dead, he's somehow still grieving her. Actually, doesn't that sound a bit like a widower?
Load More Replies... #22
When I saw he cared so much about his ex wife and the son they had together, at first I believed he was just a good man who wanted to be a good father and a good ex… and then he started treating me and our daughter as if we were dissposable, but never stopped spoiling his ex. It took me a while to accept it, but I finally left and I’m very happy I did.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 1 year ago
When you have kids and are entering a new relationship, it is imperative to vet the person's attitude toward your kids. Some people are weird about bloodlines.
Dragon mama 1 year ago
Do yóu have references? I'd be interested to read up on that.
Load More Replies... #23
Would lie about the smallest things that didn't matter if she thought I wouldn't like the truth. Surprise surprise she lied about bigger things...
#24
She took the keys out of my car while I was driving on the highway.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
I have questions... It would have had to be either quite an old car to even let that happen. Or a fey fob and throw it out the window.. in which case wtf and why did she have them in the first place
#25
He said that he will hurt me from the beginning, instead of thinking that it won’t be like that or that I am smarter, I simply should have left. They know themselves, sometimes got to listen and hear it and I would have spared a lot of my mental health. Now whenever someone says that they are not a good person, can’t commit or say that it never ends well - it’s more than enough for me to say thanks for the heads up and bye.
Stephanie Barr 1 year ago
Even more, if they show you who they are, believe them.
Load More Replies... #26
Didn't tell other men who hit on her that we were engaged.
#27
He told me i should just k*ll myself when i was having bad thoughts and asking him for help… and then he said if i seriously died he would get over it after 2 weeks..
I stayed with him for 6 more months after that.. those were horrible, he spoke bad of my family, made fun of me, mentally abused me and tried to manipulate me. He even openly admitted to it. I wasn’t myself while i was together with him at all and it seriously f****d me up.
Luckily he broke up with me because apparently he's into men now.
Kim Bailey 1 year ago
Ooof that guy hates himself and just took it out on that poor gal...talk about projecting?!
Kathrin Pukowsky 1 year ago
I think a word of warning to the local gay community would be in order there.
Valerie Brillhart 1 year ago
Lucky HE Broke up with you??? WTF YOU SHOULD HAVE KICK OUT THAT POS YOUR THE LUCKY ONE
Libstak 1 year ago
So you were clinging out of insecurity? I hope you see a counsellor, that is going to get you into so much pain in life.
Alexandra 1 year ago
I think insecurity is the least of her concerns: this goes way beyond that. But yes, she needs help so that she will never get in this kind of situation again. Life is difficult enough.
Load More Replies...
Aelin Wildfire 1 year ago
This is just about the only time you'll see me say that I feel sorry for those poor men...
Steve Robert 1 year ago
He had to, since no sane woman would even consider going out with him.
#28
Ultimatums. I gave in to the first one not really recognizing the ultimatum. For years after that it was one thing after another until it was one bridge too far.
#30
Made other plans on my birthday.
Doctor Strange 1 year ago
At least she didn't dump you on your birthday like my last girlfriend. Not sure if its better or worse that she didn't intend to dump me on my birthday, she just forgot that it was my birthday.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
Happened to my brother. She said she had been planning to do it for days, so she could have chosen another day.
Load More Replies... #31
My 4ft 11 ex gf broke my nose in my sleep because at a work function she was invited to I talked to the boss's niece. Cool thing about it is when I showed up to work with 2 black eyes everyone laughed at me. Imagine if I a 6ft ex British army boxer broke my 4ft 11 gfs nose in her sleep sure it would be just as hilarious.
#32
When I was told men "aren't allowed to be progressive" from my ex. Put up with a lot more s**t than I should have in that relationship.
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
In that case, should I regress to Unga Bunga Bunga instead? -_-"
#33
When I found out she was cheating. She got a text from a guy (who she said was just a friend) saying "Send me another sexy pic". She swore he was just joking, but I knew the truth. I already had my suspicions. But she and I just had a baby, and I felt like I couldn't break up with her. She cheated on me multiple times afterwards. We ended up breaking up around two years later, and I got full custody of our kid. All's well that ends well.
Sue User 1 year ago
At this point, does it matter. Woman either didnt want the kid or couryd decided she was not good parent. And OP sounds like they are happy raising the kid so.. alls well thst end well
Load More Replies... #34
Cheated. Repeatedly. I lacked the finances, resources and self respect/esteem to leave for a long time.
Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
Don't beat yourself up. Even more so if you were financially dependent.
#35
He was a very possessive guy but at this point we already had a child together. I was in medical school at the time and he was a clerk at a government institution. He was so insecure of all my male friends in medical school. One time he accused me of cheating with one of them and he got so aggressive he started choking me with two hands and put his weight on my neck. I could see his eyes filled with anger and got so scared that he would really k*ll me. I clutched at his arms until he calmed down and he said sorry and that it won’t happen again. I forgave him (IDK why I did, maybe because of our son) but it has never happened again since. There were no further instances of violence but we broke up years later because of his insecurity especially after I became licensed as a doctor.
#36
Freak out and start fights over nothing, put herself in danger or act like she might hurt herself if I left or disengaged, chase me when I tried to leave, block doors with her body to trap me so I couldn't get away, talk in circles for hours over what I did or should have done or could do differently to contribute to a better outcome, bait me into situations that would trigger her, made me feel like everything was always my fault and that we were always one degree away from everything making sense and working perfectly. I was at a low point and in a vulnerable place already. Never again.
#37
We were dating and I found out she was cheating on her husband. I called her husband and we set it up that when she went home I’d call and confront her. So he told me when she was home and I called their house and he answered the phone and immediately handed it to her. Everything was out and on the table. She showed up on my doorstep about an hour later and I let her in. One of my greatest regrets….ugh.
#39
We lived together. Well, she lived in my house. Didn't contribute financially to anything. Groceries, mortgage, cable/internet/house phone, all me. She got offended when I sent out invitations to a fourth of July party and listed the location as "my house" instead of "our house." We did eventually break up, but it took a long time.
Alexandra 1 year ago
It's not romantic at all, but if you want to live together, before you do that, do the financials. What are the outgoings? Who's going to pay for what? Do you split evenly or not? What about household chores? Inviting friends? Does your name get on the deed or the lease? That kind of thing. As I said, perhaps not the first thing you think about when going to live together, but it's so essential.
BookFanatic 1 year ago
Wish I did that. Smartest thing I ever did was not marry the guy, and not put anything in both our names. A month after we split, a process server came to visit. She couldn't tell me much, but "a well-known financial organization" was after him. Think I dodged a bullet there.
Load More Replies...
#40
When she told me she couldn't afford to pay me 250 for rent that month, then the next day she bought tickets to go see Wicked for her and her friend for 250.
Kim Bailey 1 year ago
Not that it's an excuse to not pay rent but Wicked IS awesome and I'd 10/10 recommend seeing it if you have the opportunity! :)
#41
Made me work out a lot and told me I was perfectly healthy when I developed an ED. Now he's married and they can share their ED. And I love to cook and eat and work out a normal amount with my partner. Happy end I guess.
#42
Gave up our new puppy because “it was hard”.
Alyssa Phillips 1 year ago
This obviously was a deal breaker for OP, but maybe it's a good thing they recognized their limits and gave the pup a chance at a good life..
Aelin Wildfire 1 year ago
Maybe, but it would have been even better if they'd realized that -before- taking the pup home.... When a dog has been surrendered to a shelter, there's usually a record of it stating why it was surrendered. It makes it harder for those dogs to find homes, especially if they're no longer cute little puppies, and if the shelters aren't the no-kill kind.... That's why I tried to talk my husband out of keeping the puppy that adopted us (we ended up keeping him anyway, but it was just as hard as I thought it would be - there were many tearful and stressful nights mixed in with the fun puppy moments).
Load More Replies... #43
Watched a movie that made me cry because I was abused by a family member as a child.
Cried to her. Inconsolable at points. She tried to make a move on me whilst crying and when I rejected she cried and slept in the spare room. Why didn't I leave.
#44
Got really upset when I refused to go into the bathroom and fetch a towel for her that was literally within arm's reach of the shower, where she was.
This was long before the "orange peel test" and looking back I realize that's what it was. At the time I had no idea, it just seemed like she was spinning a b******t conflict out of thin air, which ofc was also a correct assessment.
It shook me up and I seriously considered ending it then. This was before we moved in together, so I really should have tbh.
BookFanatic 1 year ago
Off to Google "orange peel test." Ok, I'm back. Ask your partner to peel an orange for you. If they do, they're more likely to support you in your relationship. If they don't, they're less likely. Hm. Now I want an orange. Anybody want to peel it for me?
#45
Told me everything she felt i did wrong in the relationship, would not give me the space to say things i didn’t like that she did in the relationship. would literally walk out of the house when i started talking and say she needs space from me.
I had no voice. As soon as i noticed that, i should’ve left.
#46
When he said he talks to mixed/lightskin girls because “white girls are weird/crazy” and “black women are dirty”…then when he doubled back when I asked him what his dream life would be and he said a house in a the mountains or country married to a white woman (he’s a darkskin black man)…I was the biggest pick me.
#47
It's what he didn't do, actually. The neglect was off the chain, like I wasn't even there... but it didn't bother me after 10 years; I became numb to it, and didn't care anymore. I formed a social life, hobbies, etc., had fun without him. I stuck it out for 20 years. I had my reasons. I'm extremely happy now.
#48
Signed me up for a slow pitch team with her and her friends without telling me....just a couple weeks after I asked her to play with my work team and she gave a litany of excuses as to why she couldn't.
great insight to the causes of a lot of unnecessary future arguments.
#49
I was younger and dumber. She was hearting guys pics and I walked out the door to leave and she found a glass shard and sliced up her arm, she also in another instance drank bleach and threw up all over our bathroom. I could go on for days the crazy stuff she did but I made the dumbest decision of all time having a baby with her. The first time we tried she had a miscarriage at work because of an Iron deficiency in which the miscarriage was probably a warning from God saying doing it was a bad idea but I didn’t listen. Now ever since I left her and kicked her out of my house she tells people and posts all over social media about how I constantly got drunk, beat and r*ped her she tells people I punched her and caused the miscarriage and makes visiting with my son very hard every time I go to pick him up to this day. I’ve never vented about this before so it feels good to get this out.
Alexandra 1 year ago
Why would God cause a traumatic event like a miscarriage just to tell you that she's not the one for you? You should have seen that yourself: there were plenty of signs of that. Also, you could sue her for defamation. Apart from all of this, you need to talk to someone about this, get to grips with it before it will consume you.
#50
She broke up with me because she said we are not compatible and I take long( 2 hours was thr maximumi stayed before texting back) sometimes to respond to her texts and that causes her extreme anxiety and that she won't be able to come live in my city anymore because her mother told her to focus on her studies. I said okay and wished her the best then ghosted her. She called and texted me non stop for 5 days so we can get back together and said she was sorry it was a mistake. I was stupid enough to accept.
Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
When you've said your farewell it's not ghosting. It's going no contact, which I think is always in place when a breakup is still raw
#51
Punched me in the eye with a fist full of keys all sticking out from between her knuckles.
Alexandra 1 year ago
I rather hope you punched her back. I don't care that she's a woman: punch me and I'll punch back. No one gets to punch another person, regardless of sex, gender, political conviction, colour of their hair or seat of their pants.
#52
She went through my laptop to check for messages from other women to see if I was cheating - I wasn’t.
#53
She’d go out drinking at college parties every. single. night. for a whole week. Each night had to physically carry her to bed. Where she’d proceed to p**s on everything, all for me to clean up the next day.
Like a chump I hung around for all nearly 7 days before I was like “I think I’m done with dating”.
#54
There was an art exhibit that brought Van Gogh's art to life, I knew she was a big fan of his art. So I bought tickets, along with some like vip goodies for her. She convinced me to give her the tickets for her and her best friend to go. We had just started to date, so I was trying to just be as agreeable as I could...
The worst was seeing her post pics of her and her friend up and said something like "best date ever" with her (the best friend). Because it WOULD have been the best date. It was one of my more romantic ideas, and I should have known better...
#55
"I'm on tinder, *just* looking for friends. They have a friends setting now.".
#56
Told me he dreamt of asserting his dominance by f*****g someone else’s wife someday and that I should be happy to be with an alpha male. Dunno how I stayed with that one for several more years and a ton of b******t later.
Second worst dude I’ve ever been with pulled the ol’ “I live with my girlfriend but we’re not together anymore” after lying to me about the situation for several weeks 😂 should’ve bounced then but I was in a bad place after a breakup and clung on. That ended well, of course.
I’m dumb with men.
#57
Didn’t challenge me intellectually and avoided conflict at all costs, sharing no emotions or being vulnerable ever so I never knew when anything was wrong.
#58
Made me feel like I was just an option. When we broke up she had a baby with someone else so yeah, maybe I was. Should have left earlier.
#59
The patterns of casual emotional abuse disguised as attempts to "better myself" (i.e. do what she wanted and thought was right) that kept on repeating, and repeating, and repeating...
Alexandra 1 year ago
Note to many women: men are not projects. What you see is what you get. If he's abusive, it's not because he's misunderstood and you're the only one who knows him, it's because he's a POS. And yes, this note is meant for many men aswell. Women don't have to cater to you, if they tell you they don't want children don't count on them 'changing their minds', they are not 'naturally the best suitable for taking care of children' and no, they don't need you to explain how they feel.
#60
Straight up told me in so many words he wanted to groom high school girls (we’d gotten together while I was still in high school and he was…. Not in high school - I was still in the stupid “we’re different” mentality but now know that no matter the specifics it’s all a different shade of the same f****d up painting.) I told him it was a f****d up thing to want let alone tell me but for some reason I didn’t leave on the spot. I think this along with a handful of other occasions is what chipped me away. They say women don’t leave all at once. I can attest to that.
#61
In 5 years I went from being a person that I knew and honestly loved. Fast forward to now, I hate I exist. I don’t know myself anymore, I’m so unkind to myself, and I don’t trust myself. Im 33 and I don’t hope for anything spectacular to happen in my life, I just hope for peace one day.
Kim Bailey 1 year ago
I really hope they get the help they need. I also have an overly critical mean girl in my head 24/7 and I've dealt with that b***h since about age 14. Meds and therapy can do wonders. Step one is asking for help. That's the hardest part.
#62
Put us on break then got a hookup… should’ve never talked to her again but she told me after our break was over, if I found out before wanting her back the whole time I wouldn’t of even responded to her. She didn’t think she cheated, but in my opinion she did.
#63
Did not prioritize me or our relationship. Looking back, I carried the relationship for way too long.
#64
I've had my fair share of bad relationships. Cheaters, manipulators, substance abusers. But the one thing I would say is the biggest red flag these days, because it always came up in those other relationships, is saying "I don't deserve someone like you" without a prompt. If you've done something grandiose and lovely, it can be a natural reaction. But when somebody says it when you're just treating them like a normal person? They believe it and will act like it.
#65
Told me not to worry about her new coworker and that he's "just a friend". She dumped me for him a week shy of our 2 year anniversary.
#66
Picked a fight with me when I was sick. I got sick after carring for him while he was ill few days before.
#67
That she cheated on her ex fiance. Red flag right at the get go, but I thought i was at 6 flags so f**k it we ball.
#68
When he picked me up and threw me on the ground in front of his friends. 13 years later it ended.
#69
We had a plan to sign up for a student dorm apartment together. It was us and 2 other good friends. She changed her mind and signed up with other friends instead when the application opened. I found out a week after the application started because I asked her so when should we apply....
#70
We have NEVER been on a date. Ever. We have been together for two and a half years. I got flowers ONCE for my name day, when we were together for only just 2 weeks. Never again. He never met my friends, always excused himself or just came up with some pathetic excuse. He did not get me anything for our first anniversary -> fight-> solution: “I will do wonders for the second I promise!” Yeah he bought me a wind jacket… gah.
#71
Refused to clean. At best did a subpar job. Got to the pont where i expected her to just clean 1 room each day. Low expectations. But half the time not even that would happen. Couldn't (or at this point I'm thinking wouldn't) hold down a job for more than about a month.
Alexandra 1 year ago
You expected her to clean? What about you? Did you offer to help her? Couldn't you clean together? Did you try to find out what was going on with her?
Papa 1 year ago
Normally I'd agree wholeheartedly, but the part about not keeping a job longer than a month makes me think that it's possible she really wasn't pulling her weight.
Load More Replies... Charles McChristy 1 year ago
Did she contribute to the household in any way since she couldn't hold onto a job for a month, or did she sit on her butt all day reading Bored Panda... Wait a minute! I found the ex-girlfriend!!!!
Load More Replies...Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Bonnie Paige-Louise 1 year ago
I think a lot of men just find a way out and don't report or talk about the abuse because they don't want to be laughed at. It's sad but women can be abusers as well.
Koalafied to komment 1 year ago
Reading this list, it's very obvious I missed a lot of those points being with my ex. I was so insecure and after years of frustrating dating, he was the one I could have a real relationship with, so I put up with so much shîtty behaviour. It's something everyone should know: better stay single than enduring something like that. You are worthy to have a real good relationship ❤️
Liz The Biz 1 year ago
The night he showed his true colours and beat me up over something really trivial. I put up with it for another nine years because he made me feel worthless and I didn't think I deserved anything better.
Ace 1 year ago
When I found out that she read the Daily Express and believed everything it said. Stayed together for a few more months, even talked about getting married (although I was still going through a divorce at the time) but eventually realised that we were never going to be able to make it work.
SCP 4666 1 year ago
I have one...we weren't really a couple, just in the phase of getting to know each other. Whenever we would agree on meeting ( it was in the neighboring city) she would postpone shortly before. Rinse, repeat. Even when. I was practically standing at her door when we agreed on another date. I don't know why I put up with this BS.
Aww but Eww 1 year ago
I can't eat as much as I have to throw up after this post. Terrible people out there
Bonnie Paige-Louise 1 year ago
I think a lot of men just find a way out and don't report or talk about the abuse because they don't want to be laughed at. It's sad but women can be abusers as well.
Koalafied to komment 1 year ago
Reading this list, it's very obvious I missed a lot of those points being with my ex. I was so insecure and after years of frustrating dating, he was the one I could have a real relationship with, so I put up with so much shîtty behaviour. It's something everyone should know: better stay single than enduring something like that. You are worthy to have a real good relationship ❤️
Liz The Biz 1 year ago
The night he showed his true colours and beat me up over something really trivial. I put up with it for another nine years because he made me feel worthless and I didn't think I deserved anything better.
Ace 1 year ago
When I found out that she read the Daily Express and believed everything it said. Stayed together for a few more months, even talked about getting married (although I was still going through a divorce at the time) but eventually realised that we were never going to be able to make it work.
SCP 4666 1 year ago
I have one...we weren't really a couple, just in the phase of getting to know each other. Whenever we would agree on meeting ( it was in the neighboring city) she would postpone shortly before. Rinse, repeat. Even when. I was practically standing at her door when we agreed on another date. I don't know why I put up with this BS.
Aww but Eww 1 year ago
I can't eat as much as I have to throw up after this post. Terrible people out there
You May Like Woman Finds BF’s Post About Her Online Explaining Why He Wants To Dump Her, She Still Doesn’t Understand Man Asks Girlfriend What She Brings To The Table After 4.5 Years Together, Relationship Implodes "What A Jerk": Woman Leaves Date In Less Than 2 Minutes After Catching On To His Plan
Justinas Keturka
Justinas Keturka
Analice Couto
Related on Bored Panda
