Couple Get $3000 In Gifts From Their $60k Wedding: “We’re Freaking Out And Really Devastated”
It’s understandable to want an extravagant wedding and have a ceremony everyone would fondly remember. But, of course, it comes with a hefty price tag that may come back to haunt you if you don’t have enough resources.
This couple learned that lesson the hard way when they spent $60,000 on their wedding. They were greatly disappointed after only receiving a twentieth of those expenses in gifts from their guests, ultimately forcing them to cancel their honeymoon.
They are now seeking advice from the internet on how to “move past” their ordeal as they express how “devastated” they felt. Scroll down for the entire text and reader responses.
Some people have extravagant weddings even if they can’t afford them
Image credits: Mesut çiçen / unsplash (not the actual photo)
This couple spent $60,000 on their wedding and ended up canceling their honeymoon after receiving a meager amount in gifts
Image credits: kaylajohnsonatl
Image credits: Yomex Owo / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Weddings are perceived as a status symbol to deflect judgment from others
The couple went above and beyond to have their “perfect” wedding, which cost them much more than the national average in the United States. According to Forbes, the most expensive ceremonies are in New York City, costing an average of $49,866.
San Francisco ranks second on that list, costing an average of $44,229. Boston closes the top three with an average expense of $43,949.
Recent studies have shown that lavish weddings increase the risk of divorce, yet many people still prefer to splurge on their big day. As historian Stephanie Coontz told The Guardian, this practice is rooted in 19th-century traditions where people viewed marriage as a way to expand economic and political power.
“Weddings were their way of underlining power, social connections, and exhibiting how wonderful an alliance this would be,” she said.
Today, some may judge a couple based on their extravagant ceremonies. In turn, people end up spending exorbitant amounts to maintain their status.
“It’s really everyone saying: this is the best, this is my dream, this is what I want to put forth into the world,” wedding writer Elise Taylor told the British publication.
Image credits: Jayson Hinrichsen / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Having a smaller guest list is one of the most significant ways to save money on wedding expenses
It is unclear why the couple decided to have 270 people on their wedding guest list. Hindsight is always 20/20, and having a smaller ceremony would’ve saved them a ton.
According to veteran wedding planner Emily Coyne, it is the easiest way to reduce the budget. In an interview with The Knot, Coyne suggests more intimate gatherings for cost management and enhancing the personal experience.
The couple also expected to receive a specific amount in gifts, which meant they likely didn’t consider the bigger picture. Coyne says this is why many end up overspending.
“Understanding the full scope of costs beforehand will help you allocate your budget wisely and avoid financial strain.”
At this point, there isn’t much the couple can do but look at what happened to them as a learning experience. They have the option to celebrate the honeymoon later, but they must first settle the debts they incurred.
Image credits: Al Elmes / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Most commenters criticized the newlyweds for their decision
However, a few sided with them and blamed the guests for not gifting enough
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How did you even make it through life so far? Seems to me you need a level-headed financial planner. While I get that you wanted to celebrate, I actually congratulate you that by not going in honeymoon you managed to make up for the balance. - Just saying, from one financial planner to the next...
This can't be real. Did they have a p**n shop all lined up for the gifts? Lots of people make a living off weddings, but they are vendors and venue managers not the people booking those services. I can't imagine how many of their acquaintances are celebrating their "hardship" they sound insufferable.
As the host you are responsible for the costs, not your guests. They didn't get to choose how fancy the party is or what food was served, you did. It's nice to bring a gift to show you care and to support new couples starting out. But it's a gift, not an obligation. If you can't afford it without the gifts, don't spend that much!
Imagine blowing 60k$ on a party. In my neck of the woods, that's about 5-6 years worth of pay for the average Joe.
Not only blowing $60,000 on a party, but blowing $60,000 that they didn't have. Extravagant weddings are one thing if you're rich, and can afford it (though I still don't think it's a good idea), but it's the height of foolishness to borrow money to have one.
Load More Replies...How did you even make it through life so far? Seems to me you need a level-headed financial planner. While I get that you wanted to celebrate, I actually congratulate you that by not going in honeymoon you managed to make up for the balance. - Just saying, from one financial planner to the next...
This can't be real. Did they have a p**n shop all lined up for the gifts? Lots of people make a living off weddings, but they are vendors and venue managers not the people booking those services. I can't imagine how many of their acquaintances are celebrating their "hardship" they sound insufferable.
As the host you are responsible for the costs, not your guests. They didn't get to choose how fancy the party is or what food was served, you did. It's nice to bring a gift to show you care and to support new couples starting out. But it's a gift, not an obligation. If you can't afford it without the gifts, don't spend that much!
Imagine blowing 60k$ on a party. In my neck of the woods, that's about 5-6 years worth of pay for the average Joe.
Not only blowing $60,000 on a party, but blowing $60,000 that they didn't have. Extravagant weddings are one thing if you're rich, and can afford it (though I still don't think it's a good idea), but it's the height of foolishness to borrow money to have one.
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