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Woman Sick Of Begging Partner To Take Step Towards Their Future, Sparks Heated Debate Online
In fact, life priorities don’t really depend on age at all. My 40-year-old friend, for instance, has no plans to start a family, spending all his free time drinking beer and playing PlayStation, and another acquaintance of mine already has two kids, while being in his mid-20s. The main thing is to find a partner who shares your values.
And this is where problems often begin. For example, happened to the user 5599katherine, whose story we are going to tell you today. With a woman who, after a year and a half of a relationship, seriously thought, “Is it actually worth wasting her time on this man?”. However, let’s go into more detail.
More info: Mumsnet
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The author of the post is in her 30s, she has a decent job, and dreams of having her own house and family
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, her boyfriend of 1.5 years apparently doesn’t share these values at all
Image credits: 5599katherine
Image credits: katemangostar / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The guy is 10 years older than the author, but he still enjoys partying with friends, drinking, and whatnot
Image credits: 5599katherine
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author plans to move to the countryside in a few years and have kids, but the man doesn’t want anything to do with this
Image credits: 5599katherine
So, the woman started considering parting ways with this man, who clearly doesn’t want to meet her halfway, and to make the next step
So, the Original Poster (OP), in her own words, is in her 30s. She has a decent job and is focused on building her career in leadership. She has a boyfriend, ten years older, with whom she has known each other for more than six years and has been dating for about a year and a half. The woman says she really does care about this guy, but now she can’t say the same about him for sure.
And here’s the thing – the man has never shown that he’s ready to take the next step, start a family, which is what our heroine clearly desires. All he wants is to have fun, hang out with his pals, drink, and even use substances. The author says that they had several conversations on this, and the guy swore every time that it was the last time. But after some time, everything went over and over…
The original poster dreams of getting her own house in the countryside (and she’s saving money for this), about kids, and just having calm, warm evenings with tea, hugs, and TV. In turn, the man doesn’t hide the fact that he absolutely doesn’t want to leave the city, and he is quite happy with the life he’s having now. And yes, over the past 18 months, according to the OP’s words, he’s never once said he loves her.
Perhaps the last straw for the woman was a recent night when the guy came to her late (they live separately), since he came home first to get high. They had intimacy, but the guy rather rudely pulled away at a key moment, so that she wouldn’t get pregnant. The OP says she’s on protection, but this reaction literally devastated her. She decided to ask netizens – is it worth going on with a person not ready to meet her halfway?
Image credits: DC Studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“Everything is quite simple – any relationship is a two-way street, and if you take steps towards your partner, then you have every right to expect similar steps from them,” says Maria Kryvosheeva, a psychologist and NLP coach, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. “And the unwillingness to make any compromises in a relationship actually says a lot.”
“It seems like this man is just happy with the way things are now – and he doesn’t want to change anything, doesn’t want to take on any additional responsibility. No, there’s nothing wrong with that – but it’s obvious that his partner should think about the future of this relationship. Especially since he has never said he loves her.”
“If she’s so serious about starting a family and having kids, and her boyfriend isn’t, that looks like a critical difference of opinion. And either way, one of them is going to be unhappy here. So wouldn’t it be better to be completely honest and reconsider this partnership?” Maria wonders.
People in the comments also completely agreed with the author that she should end this relationship if she sees that not only can they not reach a compromise with her boyfriend, but they also obviously have different life values. “Move on. You aren’t well matched and it’s never going to work,” someone concluded quite wisely. So do you, our dear readers, also agree with this point?
Most commenters sided with the author, claiming that this was just a bad match, so the breakup could be a matter of time only
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What do you think ?
sweet emotion 6 months ago
She's a booty call, period. Does she really need a sledgehammer upside the head to realize that?
FreeTheUnicorn 6 months ago
OP says she doesn't want to change him except to have him move to the countryside, have a family immediately and be excited about it, and also give up d***s. Doesn't sound like she's being honest about what she wants or needs. Even if he changed, which he won't, you're not fit for a relationship if you can't be honest with yourself and your partner. If you can't do that, get some therapy. But you're never going to have a healthy relationship without some self awareness and honesty.
arthbach 6 months ago
The items you mention are where he lives, and some things he does. I suspect she is talking about him as a person, who he is, not what he does. She has been totally honest and clear about what she wants. Sadly it sounds as if she has taken his silence on the matter to be acquiescence. - - - She knows what she wants and needs. He is not it, and she needs to move on.
Load More Replies... sweet emotion 6 months ago
She's a booty call, period. Does she really need a sledgehammer upside the head to realize that?
FreeTheUnicorn 6 months ago
OP says she doesn't want to change him except to have him move to the countryside, have a family immediately and be excited about it, and also give up d***s. Doesn't sound like she's being honest about what she wants or needs. Even if he changed, which he won't, you're not fit for a relationship if you can't be honest with yourself and your partner. If you can't do that, get some therapy. But you're never going to have a healthy relationship without some self awareness and honesty.
arthbach 6 months ago
The items you mention are where he lives, and some things he does. I suspect she is talking about him as a person, who he is, not what he does. She has been totally honest and clear about what she wants. Sadly it sounds as if she has taken his silence on the matter to be acquiescence. - - - She knows what she wants and needs. He is not it, and she needs to move on.
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