Airplane seats are notorious for being less than comfortable. Being crammed between two strangers in a seat that doesn’t recline more than a few inches is not anyone’s ideal way to spend a few hours, so most of us do what we can to find some semblance of comfort when flying.
But after one woman seated between two plus-sized passengers politely asked if she could relocate, she ended up being accused of fatphobia. Below, you’ll find the flyer’s full story, which she recently shared on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit, as well as a conversation between her and Bored Panda.
After being seated between two plus-sized passengers on a flight, this woman decided to politely find a more comfortable seat
Image credits: Darina Belonogova (not the actual image)
Upon arrival, however, one of her former seat neighbors made it clear that she was offended by her relocation
Image credits: Pew Nguyen (not the actual image)
Image credits: Kostiantyn Voitenko (not the actual image)
Image credits: Mason McCall (not the actual image)
Image credits: throwawayonaplane
Later, the passenger clarified some details about the situation
“I would imagine that the confrontation was a result of her feeling anxious about other people having seen me move”
To learn more about this specific situation, we reached out to the Reddit user who shared this story, Throwawayonaplane, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. As far as how she relocated on the plane, the woman explained that she tried to do it as discreetly as possible, but there wasn’t much privacy in the cabin. “It’s entirely possible that a couple people saw and could assume why I moved, but nobody was told anything about the situation except for the flight attendant,” the OP shared. “I would imagine that the confrontation was a result of her feeling anxious about other people having seen me move, and as some commenters might have pointed out, it might have just been her way of venting out a frustrating day of travel.”
We also asked the OP what her thoughts were on the reactions her post received. Throwawayonaplane shared that she was relieved to hear that most commenters didn’t think she had done anything wrong, but a lot of the replies were upsetting. “I had posted this situation for some insight on if or how I could have handled the situation better or what other people would have done, but far too many people in the comments took my story as an excuse to generalize and bully all larger people. I’m unable to delete the post because of AITA’s rule on active discussions, but I truly feel terrible about the nature of so many of the comments,” she explained, adding that she is grateful for the nicer, helpful replies.
Image credits: reisetopia (not the actual image)
“While it’s not fair to take that stress out on the people around you, in situations like those, it’s best to just be patient and understanding”
We were also curious how the OP might handle a situation like this again in the future. “The biggest thing I might change is to say something like, ‘Sorry, I just have to grab my bag, there’s an available seat next to my friend’ or a similar white lie to avoid any additional stress,” she told Bored Panda, adding that her biggest tip for handling situations like these is to be compassionate. “Flying is so stressful for so many people and for so many reasons, and you never know what someone might have gone through before or during their flight,” she noted. “While it’s not fair to take that stress out on the people around you, in situations like those, it’s best to just be patient and understanding.”
The OP also urges readers not to take what happened to her as an example of all plus-sized people. “It’s not fair to generalize or use this one story about this one person to ‘prove’ that all larger people are lazy, entitled, or whatever else some people have been saying,” she noted. “This same situation could have happened with a tall person in behind me or the parent of a fussy child across from me, or the plus-sized person next to me could have been super nice. What a person’s body looks like has absolutely zero to do with their character.”
Airplane seats have only gotten smaller over the past few decades, making them increasingly more uncomfortable
Flying on an airplane is uncomfortable for everyone. Whether you’re tall, short, skinny, plus-sized, young or old, nobody enjoys those narrow seats with minimal leg room and barely any room to recline. That’s why most passengers go out of their way to snag a row to themselves, or at least one open seat next to them, any chance they get. Plus, we all know that the dreaded middle seat is widely considered the worst seat on a plane. As many of the commenters mentioned, this woman was not being prejudiced towards her fellow passengers in trying to seek comfort. If anyone in this situation was fatphobic, it was the airline. Have you ever heard your parents talk about how pleasant and luxurious flying used to be? Well, it was! In fact, seats today have on average 2-5 inches less leg room and are 2 inches narrower than airplane seats from the 1980s, despite the fact that we’ve gotten bigger.
And according to Paul Hudson, president of passenger advocacy group FlyersRights, these tiny seats can even be a safety issue for the smallest of passengers. “[Airlines] only narrowly define safety as if it has something to do with evacuation speed,” Hudson told CNN. “But they ignore health risks, especially blood clots, which are known to increase dramatically when you’re in a confined space for more than two or three hours. They ignore completely the forced intrusion that you have now on your neighbor.”
Image credits: Sami Aksu (not the actual image)
These tiny seats can make traveling as a plus-sized person particularly difficult
Of course, plus-sized passengers do tend to have a much more difficult time traveling than smaller individuals. Some of the discomforts they might encounter while flying are tight squeezes into tiny seats, seat belts that either don’t fit or need an extender to fit and arm rests jabbing into their sides. “I don’t want to have to ask for a seat belt extender or worry that they’ll make me buy an extra seat,” size-inclusive TikTok star Mary Fran Donnelly told the New York Post. “The traveling industry should outfit planes to suit everybody’s needs without bigger people having to be embarrassed or uncomfortable.”
Thankfully, however, there are ways plus-sized people can travel just as much as their hearts’ desire. They just need to know the tricks of the trade, until the airline industry becomes more inclusive. When it comes to which companies plus-sized passengers trust the most, Southwest Airlines seems to be the fan favorite. The airline encourages larger passengers to purchase an extra seat prior to boarding, which they can be reimbursed for after their journey has been completed. Or, if there are still seats available for purchase, they can simply request an extra seat at no additional cost once they’re at the airport.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
But there are ways plus-sized flyers can ensure that they, and their fellow passengers, are as comfortable as possible
“We are very proud of our policy, as we feel it provides comfort and hospitality for all of our customers,” a Southwest spokesperson told the New York Post. “It was a creative solution to what can be a sensitive topic, and we’ve found that our customers appreciate it.” And if you’re a plus-sized traveler who is looking for even more tips on how to have the best flying experience possible, Halee and Jeff at Plus Size Travel Guide recommend researching the airplane ahead of time to know exactly what you’re getting yourself into, asking for seat belt extenders upon boarding, picking the right shoes and socks to keep you as comfortable as possible, doing your research on whether a first class seat is worth it or if two economy seats would be better, and having all of your inflight items ready and accessible to limit how often you have to bend over or move around in-flight.
We all just want to find comfort in any way we can when on a plane, and that can be difficult to accomplish, regardless of your body size. It’s never appropriate to shame others, and fatphobia is a real issue. But in this particular case, the consensus of readers was that the woman was simply trying to help herself, not judge anyone else. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments, pandas, but please remember to be respectful of all parties involved in the story. Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article featuring airplane seat drama, look no further than right here!
Readers assured the woman that she had done nothing wrong, and some plus-sized folks noted that having more space benefits everyone
I din't care if you are a 10kg child or a 250kg adult. If you enter my personal space or touch I am either getting you to move or move myself. That has nothing to do with fat shaming.
I have always been phobic about human contact. It makes me feel anxious so I would definitely move if I could. And having a plus sized person on both sides would make me feel claustrophobic and trapped. Not fat shaming but those seats aren’t spacious even without being encroached upon. I really wouldn’t want to have a panic attack whilst stuck on a plane.
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I am plus sized. This would not offend me. Hey folks who are offended - no one can change the laws of physics.
20 yo me would have flown squeezed for fear of offending them in that situation. Much older me would change seats in the blink of an eye because MY comfort is as important as theirs. Those little things you learn with time.
It will also increase the comfort of the two plus sized passengers, they now have more space themselves. It's a win-win for everyone.
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Airplane seats should not have armrests. They should have partitions that you can pull out that go from knees to shoulder so you have your own space, once everyone is sitting down.
That IS genius. Airlines, pleeeease implement this.
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I am fat and I don't see this young lady as the a-hole. She didn't say anything out loud, she just got her bag and sat in her new seat. If the other passenger was embarrassed, that's on them.
I was in the middle seat between a large couple who were mad my seat was booked. Full flight, cross country, Friday evening, and I'm going home from a work trip finally. I was forgiving when they took both arm rests. Then they lifted the arm rests a few minutes from each other once we were airborne. I was thin then. Y'all, once each arm rest went up their bellies were touching mine. I couldn't take it. I said loudly to each REALLY!?!? Ignored. Ringed the flight attendant and asked if I was allowed to require the arm rests down. She looked at them and said absolutely. Then brought me snacks and a cocktail. 9 hrs. I'm fat now, and I still consider that a violation of human decency.
Alas, these days she would have side£ with the entitled jerks.
Load More Replies... I have had this happen MANY times and it's always an overweight dude next to me who doesn't seem to mind letting his parts get into my space. I'll let it go for a few minutes (cuz maybe they're just shifting and trying to get comfy too) but, nope, they just leave their elbows in my ribs or their thigh rubbing against mine. And they're always offended, that god forbid, I ask them to please stop touching me. I was once at a orchestra performance and this HUGE man was unabashed at his body overflowing into my seat.... magically, when during intermission my husband and I switched seats, the man could suddenly squeeze himself into just his seat. Coincidence that when a woman was sitting next to him, he couldn't keep himself contained to his own seat but when a man was next to him, his body suddenly wasn't rubbing up on his seatmate?
I am neurodivergent and I have sensory issues. Touching, let alone being pressed against a stranger's body the way OP was is distressing to me. I can handle it for 20 minutes on a public transport, even on a shorter flight, but Vegas to NY is by no means a short flight.
Right there with you. I don't even want my husband or kids rubbing up against me that long. Infants were a challenge, but strangers? No way!
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I would have been happy to not be pressed against a stranger and have a free seat next to me. That woman just wanted to be offended. Being fat is no shame on itself. Often people can't help themselves. But still it's an inconvenience and presents real life problems and no one has to endure them and be uncomfortable just to pretend those problems don't exist.
This wasn't about the other passenger, it was about op feeling uncomfortable and wanting another seat. If the plus-sized passenger had an issue an with that then I would question what that issue is, it's certainly not right making someone feel guilty for not wanting to be uncomfortable.
It was only a public demonstration in the mind of the plus sized woman. Hell, the only people who could actually see what was going on where the three of them and possibly the person in the isle seat directly across. Besides that, the vast majority of people on a plane aren't actively watching what anyone else is doing.
NTA. I don't like how everything is being spun towards body shaming. If there are other seats available, I would ask for 1 too, for everyone's comfort. They have more room, and I don't have someone constantly touching/coming into contact with me, which I have an issue with. I have ptsd and social anxiety due to it; being trapped in the middle, with constant contact by strangers, would be an issue for me! You did this is a very polite way, and ultimatelygave everyone more comfort in those tiny seats. I feel like it was a win for everyone with you moving, but dialogue is important. I would just explain that "I have issues due to anxiety, and had everyone's comfort in mind!" Sometimes people will realize that they are capable of empathy, and that others have needs as well, rather than feel victimized without merit.
Tell the one who got nasty "The problem was your breath, not your breadth."
I would be extremely relieved if the person next to me did this because I would be embarrassed that I was squashing that person. And it would mean I had more room.
As someone clocking in at over 320lbs I would have honestly been apologizing for possibly encroaching on someone else's space and glad OP was able to find a more comfortable spot.
I used to be the fat person who needed the extension belt, but embarrassing situations and being asked to move by the flight attendant I did something about it and lost 140lbs. If you want to be large and make others around you uncomfortable, you need to have a long hard look in the mirror. I'm not fat shaming but your health is more important than your feelings.
Preach it, sis. I've been fighting for five years to get the weight off. It's slowly coming through a lot of hard work and battling genetics, trauma, and health issues. It's not fun at all. But I was always mortified to squish someone else. I hated doing that to people. And I want to be active and mobile through the second half of my life. So I'm doing the work.
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I must admit, going into this article I was thinking you were the AH, a little bit, but after reading it, you're definitely not! I would do the exact same thing as you did! And I am also fat, I'm about a UK size 20, I don't know if that's considered obese or what! But I'm comfortable, most of the time, with my size. I feel very uncomfortable if I am on a bus with those slightly moulded seats because I can definitely feel it pressing into my thigh so I know at least some of my fat is hanging over into the other seat a bit and that makes me feel self-conscious, more so than normal! And I do dread the bus being busy and having someone sit beside me! So I just KNOW I'd feel a lot worse if I was on a plane, and I would be so embarrassed if my fat a**e and thighs were resting on someone else's body parts and invading their space! I definitely think that she was projecting her own body issues onto you though! So NTA in my opinion!
I’m over six feet tall and most of it is legs. Economy class is rather unpleasant for me, but I still have no right to make it anyone else’s problem by reclining my seat too far. Unlike being fat, being tall isn’t anything I can control, but it’s still my problem and no one else’s. Either splurge for business class or shut up.
chubby man here: if you for any reason think that any normal behavior from someone else, just to preserve their comfort, is phat shaming, go on a diet and loose weight. being fat is not irreversible as being tall, and them too are an inconvenience in flights. this stupid behavior of blaming the wrong person is as idiotic as taking it with the person your partner cheats you on.
Don't be upset, you're correct. Their personal choices affect your comfort. It would be the same if they were really smelly.
I'm a fat person. I understand the move. I would. Be uncomfortable too and if you moved away from the seat next to me it would give me room to stretch out. The lady that confronted you has more of a problem with weight then you do. She was rude, if she feels do much shame weight watchers can help her.
I'm fat. I used to be skinny, then athletic - I played hockey 5-6 times a week. I lucked into a couple of rare diseases that changed that. Between the inability to exercise and the massive doses of steroids (medical), I gained over 100 lbs and have only managed to drop 30... my size is an inconvenience to me and occasionally others. If there is a way to mitigate it by them or I moving, it is better for all concerned. I don't understand getting offended that others don't want to be crowded.
This is just stupid. I'm fat - 4'11" and around 113kilo so about 250 pounds. I'm in Europe but I fly quite a bit, and the middle seat absolutely sucks no matter what you weigh. I'm always super self conscious of my excess girth touching people. The lady that scolded her was being way too melodramatic. it's not fatphobia to discreetly ask for a different seat. It's not as if she was calling the heavy people gross or anything. I'd have offered to switch seats with her since there's a negligible amount of extra room at the window seat and a decent amount on the aisle side, but if she could move entirely, good for her! Sounds like everyone was more comfortable.
Oh fir petes sake she asked discreetly and moved you think the two oversized would be grateful for extra room.man people always gotta be puttibg their misery as someone elses.Yeah i wanted to mive asi was unconfortable just like if i hsd a screaming baby or squirming toddler,yeah im outta there if i can as i didnt pay may hard earned money to be a martyr so if another seat available yeah im getting it and what im going to be called baby/toddler shaming,childaphobic.god give me a break
This is bloody ridiculous. Unless you have one of the very few medical conditions that cause actual obesity (instead of merely mild weight gain), your own choices are what shamed you. I paid for my seat and you're taking up half of it, ffs. If I were still a smoker and blew smoke into your face, you'd shame the fück out of me. Rightfully so. You are NOT entitled to force others to suffer for your poor choices. (Hell, I'm disabled and I don't even use handicap parking because I can still walk and someone else might actually need that spot.)
And I always say that the things other people accuse others of doing, saying, etc is because that's the kind of things that they themselves are capable, or guilty, of doing, saying, etc.
Once that was this very tall guy seated next to me. He was so tall he basically had to spread his legs beyond his space to not touch the seat in front of him. He was clearly uncomfortable as the space between rows was tight. In doing so he was touching my legs and clearly he didn't want to. The plane was a small one and full though so no possibility for him or me to move so I gave him permission to "touch" my leg and we had a good laugh. I told him that, had I had the chance, I would have moved. He told me that he would have helped me with my things. No hard feelings.
NTA, I say this as someone who has been plus sized before. If they're that bothered by things like this, the answer to their issues is blaringly obvious. Lose some weight, book the extra seat of space you require in advance, and realise that maybe, just maybe, that the person between you would like some space to stretch out on a 5+ hour flight and not be squashed between two people with no breathing room.
I am 6 foot 1 (1.85m) tall, and I am a plus sized woman but there was a time when I was very ill and I lost a massive (unhealthy) amount of weight and it was the first time in a long time that I did not need a seat belt extender when I took a flight. However, even though I was much thinner than my normal body weight, my shoulders were still too broad for the seat and still spilled over into my neighbour's seats. Also there was absolutely no leg room and I really struggled: I have very long legs! Even being the size I am now my hips are still the same width because my weight does not sit on my hips; I have fibromyalgia and two of the most sensitive tender spots I have are on my hips so sitting in a tight seat can really cause me a massive amount of pain. Basically what I'm trying to say is, seats are getting smaller and narrower and not just on airplanes, I have noticed this in restaurants and furniture stores too.
What people should be doing is complaining how airlines and aircraft designers are cramming more and more people in to aircraft, making seats smaller all in the name of chasing money.
"You, a teenager, were being cruel to us two grown a*s adults because you wouldn't allow us to physically smother you for eight hours!" The most motivating factor in my weight loss journey has been to never want to suffer the humiliation of squishing someone ever again. I think that woman was covering up her embarrassment by lashing out at the OP (teenagers are easy targets for nasty adults) because it's easier to make yourself into a victim than acknowledge that you were the problem.
I agree, NTA. I am fat and always try to make myself as small as possible so I don't encroach on other people's space. I get a window seat and lean towards the wall. I don't use the arm rest, instead I cross my arms. I've started upgrading to "comfort class" roomier seats to help with this. I always hope the person next to me isn't annoyed or uncomfortable. Though I have sat next to many manspreaders and elbowers who don't seem to care about my space.
This was handled beautifully. I've been plus sized for about 2 years now from medication, before this was absolutely tiny (a size zero) and sometimes I accidentally infringe on people's personal space at work because I forget I'm fat. That said, thighs and shoulders sitting over another person should be quite obvious and uncomfortable to both parties. It sounds like the plus sized woman has not come to terms with her curves and if her attitude wasn't so horrible I'd feel bad for her. Noone else on the plane gave these people a second thought, there was zero secondhand embarrassment.
The reason they are plus size is because they eat too much. I lost 70kgs due to being embarrassed by a flight attendant, best wake up call I ever had.
I am INCREDIBLY anxious and claustrophobic in certain situations, if someone who (no offense at all meant) is relatively skinny but I still have no way to get out easily, you're asking for a panic attack, but a plus-sized person? Oh heck no I'll be done the first minute especially how small the seats are anyway. And I get even more anxiety when someone I don't know is literally *on me* even unintentionally it's really small and uncomfortable for me so I'd do the same and probably be having a hard time talking anyway now paying attention to how small everything is
I am a normal sized person but have really broad shoulders. I have dealt with this when traveling my whole life. I always ask for an aisle seat , but they're not always available. So I sit there scrunched... As far as the fat lady... I would have just said, "I moved because you have bad breath.... 😂
I know how that woman felt, because people often move away when I ask to sit beside them on a double seat even though I am not more than 3 or 4 kg overweight, but I know that is silly, and that in fact they move to be kind.
I sat next to a hugely fat woman on a flight a few years back. She was a lovely person & kept trying to lean as far to her left as she could so she wasn't crowding me. Not wanting to be uncomfortably squished between two strangers is NOT fat shaming. If you're fat, I'm sure you're aware of it and you need to just own it.
The woman should have thanked her for moving, not shamed her. She basically made their flight more comfortable too! Not the AH
She did not fat shame that lady. That lady better be lucky my fat self wasn't sitting next to her. I would have fallen asleep one her. NP. Then when she complained I would say we are all fat and comfortable here. Lol. I would have been making jokes. Then I would just tell her to love herself. Who the F***k cares about anybody else's opinion!!!!
How fair is it for the normal weighted fare paying customer to have to be squished between two people who really should have purchased two seats To make room.
They're fat, not plus sized. If they don't want to be embarrassed they can act like adults and learn how to manage calories intake, period.
Fat too here. Last time I was in a long flight, the woman who was to sit next to me stopped in the aisle, said "No way!" & went to get a stewardess. I expect she got to switch (the flight was full) because someone else ended up taking that seat. We had a great time & neither was uncomfortable beyond the usual. I found her outburst funny rather than offensive. I avoid flying though. Even when people are polite, it's an uncomforable hassle to spend so long squeezed in against the window (the seat I always pay for).
I buy two seats (arthritis) so that I can be comfortable. I don't care what other people do or want to do since I'll likely never see them again anyway.
I don't think she did anything wrong. There is no reason why someone else should be spilling in to your space on a plane. I once had to sit next to a lady whose stomach was hanging over on the seat divider, her thugs went into my space. I literally was pressed against the window. People like that should have to pay for two seats!
NTA at all! You’re also not fatfobic and neither are airlines. Fat people can’t expect everyone else around accommodates to their body dimensions and remain silent if uncomfortable. The airline charges a fee for that much space. If you can’t fit in that space you should consider purchasing some extra space. And I say purchasing because you’re not entitled to make everyone else pay for consequences of your poor choices .
LOL as if people are BORN plus sized and have no influence whatsoever on what they inflict on their surroundings. Unbelievable.
"Fatphobia"? Dear lawd... 2023 when we make up words to cover for someone else's issue being your problem...
How about this: For people who can't fit into the airline seat, why not make them split the cost of a middle seat with ANOTHER, uhhh, plus-sized person ? After all, if they're bigger, then they're heavier, too, and weight is cost to the airline. And by the way, it's not the airline's fault for the smaller seats, it's the flying public's for demanding low fares and being willing to put up with a short-term inconvenience. How come I never see a corporate point of view on these pages ?
Based on the numerous buxom statuettes that have been discovered all over the world over the last few decades, I call curvy women Goddess-shaped.
Lol @ presenting a non-controversial incident and then asking AITA. "My neighbor slapped me and then took away my four-year-old's toys and then pooped in my driveway, I politely asked him not to do that again, and he got mad. AITA???"
But you're fine with hearing from entitled thin people? Entitlement sucks regardless of what the person looks like, so I'm curious why you had to stick that qualifier in there.
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I was with you for the first sentence. Indeed, it shouldn't be normal that - in general - people are getting a lot bigger than is healthy for them. Unfortunately, it went downhill very fast after that.
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Nobody made fun of anybody, but is it okay to make fun of someone who admits they haven't read the article but who feels qualified to make an erroneous response? 🤔
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I din't care if you are a 10kg child or a 250kg adult. If you enter my personal space or touch I am either getting you to move or move myself. That has nothing to do with fat shaming.
I have always been phobic about human contact. It makes me feel anxious so I would definitely move if I could. And having a plus sized person on both sides would make me feel claustrophobic and trapped. Not fat shaming but those seats aren’t spacious even without being encroached upon. I really wouldn’t want to have a panic attack whilst stuck on a plane.
Load More Replies... I am plus sized. This would not offend me. Hey folks who are offended - no one can change the laws of physics.
20 yo me would have flown squeezed for fear of offending them in that situation. Much older me would change seats in the blink of an eye because MY comfort is as important as theirs. Those little things you learn with time.
It will also increase the comfort of the two plus sized passengers, they now have more space themselves. It's a win-win for everyone.
Load More Replies... Airplane seats should not have armrests. They should have partitions that you can pull out that go from knees to shoulder so you have your own space, once everyone is sitting down.
That IS genius. Airlines, pleeeease implement this.
Load More Replies... I am fat and I don't see this young lady as the a-hole. She didn't say anything out loud, she just got her bag and sat in her new seat. If the other passenger was embarrassed, that's on them.
I was in the middle seat between a large couple who were mad my seat was booked. Full flight, cross country, Friday evening, and I'm going home from a work trip finally. I was forgiving when they took both arm rests. Then they lifted the arm rests a few minutes from each other once we were airborne. I was thin then. Y'all, once each arm rest went up their bellies were touching mine. I couldn't take it. I said loudly to each REALLY!?!? Ignored. Ringed the flight attendant and asked if I was allowed to require the arm rests down. She looked at them and said absolutely. Then brought me snacks and a cocktail. 9 hrs. I'm fat now, and I still consider that a violation of human decency.
Alas, these days she would have side£ with the entitled jerks.
Load More Replies... I have had this happen MANY times and it's always an overweight dude next to me who doesn't seem to mind letting his parts get into my space. I'll let it go for a few minutes (cuz maybe they're just shifting and trying to get comfy too) but, nope, they just leave their elbows in my ribs or their thigh rubbing against mine. And they're always offended, that god forbid, I ask them to please stop touching me. I was once at a orchestra performance and this HUGE man was unabashed at his body overflowing into my seat.... magically, when during intermission my husband and I switched seats, the man could suddenly squeeze himself into just his seat. Coincidence that when a woman was sitting next to him, he couldn't keep himself contained to his own seat but when a man was next to him, his body suddenly wasn't rubbing up on his seatmate?
I am neurodivergent and I have sensory issues. Touching, let alone being pressed against a stranger's body the way OP was is distressing to me. I can handle it for 20 minutes on a public transport, even on a shorter flight, but Vegas to NY is by no means a short flight.
Right there with you. I don't even want my husband or kids rubbing up against me that long. Infants were a challenge, but strangers? No way!
Load More Replies... I would have been happy to not be pressed against a stranger and have a free seat next to me. That woman just wanted to be offended. Being fat is no shame on itself. Often people can't help themselves. But still it's an inconvenience and presents real life problems and no one has to endure them and be uncomfortable just to pretend those problems don't exist.
This wasn't about the other passenger, it was about op feeling uncomfortable and wanting another seat. If the plus-sized passenger had an issue an with that then I would question what that issue is, it's certainly not right making someone feel guilty for not wanting to be uncomfortable.
It was only a public demonstration in the mind of the plus sized woman. Hell, the only people who could actually see what was going on where the three of them and possibly the person in the isle seat directly across. Besides that, the vast majority of people on a plane aren't actively watching what anyone else is doing.
NTA. I don't like how everything is being spun towards body shaming. If there are other seats available, I would ask for 1 too, for everyone's comfort. They have more room, and I don't have someone constantly touching/coming into contact with me, which I have an issue with. I have ptsd and social anxiety due to it; being trapped in the middle, with constant contact by strangers, would be an issue for me! You did this is a very polite way, and ultimatelygave everyone more comfort in those tiny seats. I feel like it was a win for everyone with you moving, but dialogue is important. I would just explain that "I have issues due to anxiety, and had everyone's comfort in mind!" Sometimes people will realize that they are capable of empathy, and that others have needs as well, rather than feel victimized without merit.
Tell the one who got nasty "The problem was your breath, not your breadth."
I would be extremely relieved if the person next to me did this because I would be embarrassed that I was squashing that person. And it would mean I had more room.
As someone clocking in at over 320lbs I would have honestly been apologizing for possibly encroaching on someone else's space and glad OP was able to find a more comfortable spot.
I used to be the fat person who needed the extension belt, but embarrassing situations and being asked to move by the flight attendant I did something about it and lost 140lbs. If you want to be large and make others around you uncomfortable, you need to have a long hard look in the mirror. I'm not fat shaming but your health is more important than your feelings.
Preach it, sis. I've been fighting for five years to get the weight off. It's slowly coming through a lot of hard work and battling genetics, trauma, and health issues. It's not fun at all. But I was always mortified to squish someone else. I hated doing that to people. And I want to be active and mobile through the second half of my life. So I'm doing the work.
Load More Replies... I must admit, going into this article I was thinking you were the AH, a little bit, but after reading it, you're definitely not! I would do the exact same thing as you did! And I am also fat, I'm about a UK size 20, I don't know if that's considered obese or what! But I'm comfortable, most of the time, with my size. I feel very uncomfortable if I am on a bus with those slightly moulded seats because I can definitely feel it pressing into my thigh so I know at least some of my fat is hanging over into the other seat a bit and that makes me feel self-conscious, more so than normal! And I do dread the bus being busy and having someone sit beside me! So I just KNOW I'd feel a lot worse if I was on a plane, and I would be so embarrassed if my fat a**e and thighs were resting on someone else's body parts and invading their space! I definitely think that she was projecting her own body issues onto you though! So NTA in my opinion!
I’m over six feet tall and most of it is legs. Economy class is rather unpleasant for me, but I still have no right to make it anyone else’s problem by reclining my seat too far. Unlike being fat, being tall isn’t anything I can control, but it’s still my problem and no one else’s. Either splurge for business class or shut up.
chubby man here: if you for any reason think that any normal behavior from someone else, just to preserve their comfort, is phat shaming, go on a diet and loose weight. being fat is not irreversible as being tall, and them too are an inconvenience in flights. this stupid behavior of blaming the wrong person is as idiotic as taking it with the person your partner cheats you on.
Don't be upset, you're correct. Their personal choices affect your comfort. It would be the same if they were really smelly.
I'm a fat person. I understand the move. I would. Be uncomfortable too and if you moved away from the seat next to me it would give me room to stretch out. The lady that confronted you has more of a problem with weight then you do. She was rude, if she feels do much shame weight watchers can help her.
I'm fat. I used to be skinny, then athletic - I played hockey 5-6 times a week. I lucked into a couple of rare diseases that changed that. Between the inability to exercise and the massive doses of steroids (medical), I gained over 100 lbs and have only managed to drop 30... my size is an inconvenience to me and occasionally others. If there is a way to mitigate it by them or I moving, it is better for all concerned. I don't understand getting offended that others don't want to be crowded.
This is just stupid. I'm fat - 4'11" and around 113kilo so about 250 pounds. I'm in Europe but I fly quite a bit, and the middle seat absolutely sucks no matter what you weigh. I'm always super self conscious of my excess girth touching people. The lady that scolded her was being way too melodramatic. it's not fatphobia to discreetly ask for a different seat. It's not as if she was calling the heavy people gross or anything. I'd have offered to switch seats with her since there's a negligible amount of extra room at the window seat and a decent amount on the aisle side, but if she could move entirely, good for her! Sounds like everyone was more comfortable.
Oh fir petes sake she asked discreetly and moved you think the two oversized would be grateful for extra room.man people always gotta be puttibg their misery as someone elses.Yeah i wanted to mive asi was unconfortable just like if i hsd a screaming baby or squirming toddler,yeah im outta there if i can as i didnt pay may hard earned money to be a martyr so if another seat available yeah im getting it and what im going to be called baby/toddler shaming,childaphobic.god give me a break
This is bloody ridiculous. Unless you have one of the very few medical conditions that cause actual obesity (instead of merely mild weight gain), your own choices are what shamed you. I paid for my seat and you're taking up half of it, ffs. If I were still a smoker and blew smoke into your face, you'd shame the fück out of me. Rightfully so. You are NOT entitled to force others to suffer for your poor choices. (Hell, I'm disabled and I don't even use handicap parking because I can still walk and someone else might actually need that spot.)
And I always say that the things other people accuse others of doing, saying, etc is because that's the kind of things that they themselves are capable, or guilty, of doing, saying, etc.
Once that was this very tall guy seated next to me. He was so tall he basically had to spread his legs beyond his space to not touch the seat in front of him. He was clearly uncomfortable as the space between rows was tight. In doing so he was touching my legs and clearly he didn't want to. The plane was a small one and full though so no possibility for him or me to move so I gave him permission to "touch" my leg and we had a good laugh. I told him that, had I had the chance, I would have moved. He told me that he would have helped me with my things. No hard feelings.
NTA, I say this as someone who has been plus sized before. If they're that bothered by things like this, the answer to their issues is blaringly obvious. Lose some weight, book the extra seat of space you require in advance, and realise that maybe, just maybe, that the person between you would like some space to stretch out on a 5+ hour flight and not be squashed between two people with no breathing room.
I am 6 foot 1 (1.85m) tall, and I am a plus sized woman but there was a time when I was very ill and I lost a massive (unhealthy) amount of weight and it was the first time in a long time that I did not need a seat belt extender when I took a flight. However, even though I was much thinner than my normal body weight, my shoulders were still too broad for the seat and still spilled over into my neighbour's seats. Also there was absolutely no leg room and I really struggled: I have very long legs! Even being the size I am now my hips are still the same width because my weight does not sit on my hips; I have fibromyalgia and two of the most sensitive tender spots I have are on my hips so sitting in a tight seat can really cause me a massive amount of pain. Basically what I'm trying to say is, seats are getting smaller and narrower and not just on airplanes, I have noticed this in restaurants and furniture stores too.
What people should be doing is complaining how airlines and aircraft designers are cramming more and more people in to aircraft, making seats smaller all in the name of chasing money.
"You, a teenager, were being cruel to us two grown a*s adults because you wouldn't allow us to physically smother you for eight hours!" The most motivating factor in my weight loss journey has been to never want to suffer the humiliation of squishing someone ever again. I think that woman was covering up her embarrassment by lashing out at the OP (teenagers are easy targets for nasty adults) because it's easier to make yourself into a victim than acknowledge that you were the problem.
I agree, NTA. I am fat and always try to make myself as small as possible so I don't encroach on other people's space. I get a window seat and lean towards the wall. I don't use the arm rest, instead I cross my arms. I've started upgrading to "comfort class" roomier seats to help with this. I always hope the person next to me isn't annoyed or uncomfortable. Though I have sat next to many manspreaders and elbowers who don't seem to care about my space.
This was handled beautifully. I've been plus sized for about 2 years now from medication, before this was absolutely tiny (a size zero) and sometimes I accidentally infringe on people's personal space at work because I forget I'm fat. That said, thighs and shoulders sitting over another person should be quite obvious and uncomfortable to both parties. It sounds like the plus sized woman has not come to terms with her curves and if her attitude wasn't so horrible I'd feel bad for her. Noone else on the plane gave these people a second thought, there was zero secondhand embarrassment.
The reason they are plus size is because they eat too much. I lost 70kgs due to being embarrassed by a flight attendant, best wake up call I ever had.
I am INCREDIBLY anxious and claustrophobic in certain situations, if someone who (no offense at all meant) is relatively skinny but I still have no way to get out easily, you're asking for a panic attack, but a plus-sized person? Oh heck no I'll be done the first minute especially how small the seats are anyway. And I get even more anxiety when someone I don't know is literally *on me* even unintentionally it's really small and uncomfortable for me so I'd do the same and probably be having a hard time talking anyway now paying attention to how small everything is
I am a normal sized person but have really broad shoulders. I have dealt with this when traveling my whole life. I always ask for an aisle seat , but they're not always available. So I sit there scrunched... As far as the fat lady... I would have just said, "I moved because you have bad breath.... 😂
I know how that woman felt, because people often move away when I ask to sit beside them on a double seat even though I am not more than 3 or 4 kg overweight, but I know that is silly, and that in fact they move to be kind.
I sat next to a hugely fat woman on a flight a few years back. She was a lovely person & kept trying to lean as far to her left as she could so she wasn't crowding me. Not wanting to be uncomfortably squished between two strangers is NOT fat shaming. If you're fat, I'm sure you're aware of it and you need to just own it.
The woman should have thanked her for moving, not shamed her. She basically made their flight more comfortable too! Not the AH
She did not fat shame that lady. That lady better be lucky my fat self wasn't sitting next to her. I would have fallen asleep one her. NP. Then when she complained I would say we are all fat and comfortable here. Lol. I would have been making jokes. Then I would just tell her to love herself. Who the F***k cares about anybody else's opinion!!!!
How fair is it for the normal weighted fare paying customer to have to be squished between two people who really should have purchased two seats To make room.
They're fat, not plus sized. If they don't want to be embarrassed they can act like adults and learn how to manage calories intake, period.
Fat too here. Last time I was in a long flight, the woman who was to sit next to me stopped in the aisle, said "No way!" & went to get a stewardess. I expect she got to switch (the flight was full) because someone else ended up taking that seat. We had a great time & neither was uncomfortable beyond the usual. I found her outburst funny rather than offensive. I avoid flying though. Even when people are polite, it's an uncomforable hassle to spend so long squeezed in against the window (the seat I always pay for).
I buy two seats (arthritis) so that I can be comfortable. I don't care what other people do or want to do since I'll likely never see them again anyway.
I don't think she did anything wrong. There is no reason why someone else should be spilling in to your space on a plane. I once had to sit next to a lady whose stomach was hanging over on the seat divider, her thugs went into my space. I literally was pressed against the window. People like that should have to pay for two seats!
NTA at all! You’re also not fatfobic and neither are airlines. Fat people can’t expect everyone else around accommodates to their body dimensions and remain silent if uncomfortable. The airline charges a fee for that much space. If you can’t fit in that space you should consider purchasing some extra space. And I say purchasing because you’re not entitled to make everyone else pay for consequences of your poor choices .
LOL as if people are BORN plus sized and have no influence whatsoever on what they inflict on their surroundings. Unbelievable.
"Fatphobia"? Dear lawd... 2023 when we make up words to cover for someone else's issue being your problem...
How about this: For people who can't fit into the airline seat, why not make them split the cost of a middle seat with ANOTHER, uhhh, plus-sized person ? After all, if they're bigger, then they're heavier, too, and weight is cost to the airline. And by the way, it's not the airline's fault for the smaller seats, it's the flying public's for demanding low fares and being willing to put up with a short-term inconvenience. How come I never see a corporate point of view on these pages ?
Based on the numerous buxom statuettes that have been discovered all over the world over the last few decades, I call curvy women Goddess-shaped.
Lol @ presenting a non-controversial incident and then asking AITA. "My neighbor slapped me and then took away my four-year-old's toys and then pooped in my driveway, I politely asked him not to do that again, and he got mad. AITA???"
But you're fine with hearing from entitled thin people? Entitlement sucks regardless of what the person looks like, so I'm curious why you had to stick that qualifier in there.
Load More Replies... I was with you for the first sentence. Indeed, it shouldn't be normal that - in general - people are getting a lot bigger than is healthy for them. Unfortunately, it went downhill very fast after that.
Load More Replies... Nobody made fun of anybody, but is it okay to make fun of someone who admits they haven't read the article but who feels qualified to make an erroneous response? 🤔
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