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Guy Starts Mansplaining Periods To His Little Sister During Family Dinner, His Fiancée Asks Him A Question That Shuts Him Down
Guy Starts Mansplaining Periods To His Little Sister During Family Dinner, His Fiancée Asks Him A Question That Shuts Him Down
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Guy Starts Mansplaining Periods To His Little Sister During Family Dinner, His Fiancée Asks Him A Question That Shuts Him Down

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Reddit user u/BlueVariety was having dinner with her fiancé, his mom, and his little sister. Everything seemed fine, but the conversation took an unexpected turn.

The guy started “mansplaining” periods and birth control even though he obviously didn’t fully understand what he was talking about and put the entire table in an awkward situation.

u/BlueVariety couldn’t sit still and confronted him, but after everything was said and done, she started having doubts about how she handled the situation, so she turned to the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk]?’ to ask what they thought about the whole ordeal.

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    This family was having a nice dinner at a restaurant, but the guy started teaching his sister about menstruation

    Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)

    And he clearly didn’t know what he was talking about

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    Image credits: seventyfourimages (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: BlueVariety

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    According to Merriam-Webster, mansplaining is the act of explaining something to a woman in a condescending way that assumes she has no knowledge about the topic.

    Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

    Author Kim Goodwin thinks that the “-splaining” part comes down to three factors:

    • Does the person want an explanation? Unsolicited explanations may be fine (within reason) if you’re, for example, someone’s teacher or manager, but explaining after they’ve declined your help is almost always disrespectful, and a normal conversation is a good place to start building the habit of consent.
    • Are you making bad assumptions about competence? Explaining things to knowledgeable people isn’t just a waste of time. Regardless of your intentions, you may undermine them by implying you don’t trust their competence or intelligence. Plus, you run the risk of undermining yourself by looking like you have an inflated opinion of your own knowledge.
    • How does bias affect your interpretation of the above? We are taught gender bias in behavior and communication from an early age, with boys and girls often being criticized and praised for different behaviors in school. We like to think we treat people fairly, but men often assume women are less competent, and white people are likely to assume darker skin equals lower intelligence.

    When it comes to women’s bodies, men generally aren’t the best experts on the subject

    Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)

    A 2019 YouGov survey reveals a widespread lack of anatomical knowledge about female genitalia.

    Respondents were shown a diagram of that part of the body and were asked to label it to the best of their abilities. The researchers accepted misspelled but obviously correct answers, and even euphemistic or descriptive responses when appropriate (e.g. ‘wee hole’ for urethra or ‘lips’ for labia).

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    Even so, half of the people surveyed could not identify or describe the function of the urethra (58%), labia (47%), or vagina (52%).

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    The men did worse, but breaking those results down by gender, we see that women could refresh their knowledge too. While six in ten men (59%) could not even label the vagina, about half of women (45%) weren’t able to do it either. Slightly more didn’t know what the urethra was (61% of men and 55% of women), and around half of both genders failed to label the labia (52% of men and 43% of women).

    YouGov also asked a more practical question: whether it’s necessary to take out a tampon to urinate.

    Respondents had to choose which statement they thought was true in regards to whether a tampon: “used to soak up blood during a period” and “interferes with urination.”

    Six in ten men (57%) and eight in ten women (82%) correctly identified that a tampon does not interfere with how someone urinates (because the blood comes from a different hole), but a total of one in five women (18%) agreed with statements saying the tampon would need to be replaced, though none of the given statements were true, or said they did not know. This total rises to 43% of men.

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    So it sounds like a lot of us should open up a biology book before giving any lectures.

    After the story went viral, the original poster (OP) answered a few questions

    And people shared their take on the situation

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    Some even had similar stories of their own

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Read more »

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    What do you think ?
    Zohar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seems like an all around okay guy - he has a strong enough relationship with his sister to talk about periods. Sounds like he is a bit immature and is capable of growing. Could use resources, besides his girlfriend, to help him mature.

    Brocken Blue
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, having trouble reading a room and over explaining things is something that i *still* struggle with, as a middle aged adult. Is it annoying? Probably. But it doesn’t mean the person is a lost cause.

    Load More Replies...
    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The worst of this was reading far enough to see her defending the guy with "Oh but he used to be worse'".

    Cathy Roberts
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look, nobody is perfect. I'm not, and I'd venture a guess that you're not either. The most we can ask from people is that they try to work on the things they can....and he's doing that. It's too easy to make black and white character judgments on the internet.

    Load More Replies...
    Dizzie D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I assume their Dad, Yellow, also has a say in the matter?

    Jay Cee
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of when my (ageing male parent) 11 yo daughter snookered me on periods. I'd gone up to see her light was off and wish her goodnight when she said: "About periods . . . " Now my wife and I never shrank from answering questions but waited for them to come. So I sat down and we went through the menstrual cycle, cramps, things to avoid (with her mother it was ice cream!), things you'd need from the chemists and so on. When we'd finished she said: "Yep, that's exactly how Mum explained it!" So I asked why she'd asked me and it seemed it was to "check to see if Mum got it right"! Went downstairs and my wife asked me why I'd been so long so I said: "About periods . . . . . "

    Dawnieangel76
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had 2 periods a month for 20+ years. Never found a doctor or a treatment that could explain and/or fix it. Nobody would let me have a hysterectomy either; I was told "get pregnant; it should reset your body". Yeah, that's great, it'll restart my bank account too! Finally, in my late 40's now, it's fading away. I actually didn't get one at all for like 2 months in a row.

    TheElderNom
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The pill isn't the only thing that can regulate periods, any hormonal thing will. I have a little stick in my arm that I replace every three years.

    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sure, it's not at all embarrassing when you're 14 to have your 27yo uncle loudly talk about your period in a public place. WTactualF? ESH except for the teenager. Menstruation is hardly appropriate dinner conversation, and the two adult women there just let him go on and on being a mansplaining moron? You all suck.

    Pamela24
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The girl (Pink) started the conversation, though. If they're comfortable as a family talking about it during dinner, I don't see an issue, especially if it's been initiated by the person actually affected. Also - he's her brother, not her uncle. A much closer relationship. And the two adult women did stop the mansplainer. I wouldn't be okay talking about periods at the dinner table, but I'm still struggling with period shame. Sounds like you do too.

    Load More Replies...
    Parmeisan
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know it wasn't meant this way, but I'd *like* to think that Agent Sparkles is suggesting that No Uterus No Opinion should be a general rule, like even for topics that have nothing whatsoever to do with women or gender. 😆

    Zohar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seems like an all around okay guy - he has a strong enough relationship with his sister to talk about periods. Sounds like he is a bit immature and is capable of growing. Could use resources, besides his girlfriend, to help him mature.

    Brocken Blue
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, having trouble reading a room and over explaining things is something that i *still* struggle with, as a middle aged adult. Is it annoying? Probably. But it doesn’t mean the person is a lost cause.

    Load More Replies...
    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The worst of this was reading far enough to see her defending the guy with "Oh but he used to be worse'".

    Cathy Roberts
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look, nobody is perfect. I'm not, and I'd venture a guess that you're not either. The most we can ask from people is that they try to work on the things they can....and he's doing that. It's too easy to make black and white character judgments on the internet.

    Load More Replies...
    Dizzie D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I assume their Dad, Yellow, also has a say in the matter?

    Jay Cee
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of when my (ageing male parent) 11 yo daughter snookered me on periods. I'd gone up to see her light was off and wish her goodnight when she said: "About periods . . . " Now my wife and I never shrank from answering questions but waited for them to come. So I sat down and we went through the menstrual cycle, cramps, things to avoid (with her mother it was ice cream!), things you'd need from the chemists and so on. When we'd finished she said: "Yep, that's exactly how Mum explained it!" So I asked why she'd asked me and it seemed it was to "check to see if Mum got it right"! Went downstairs and my wife asked me why I'd been so long so I said: "About periods . . . . . "

    Dawnieangel76
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had 2 periods a month for 20+ years. Never found a doctor or a treatment that could explain and/or fix it. Nobody would let me have a hysterectomy either; I was told "get pregnant; it should reset your body". Yeah, that's great, it'll restart my bank account too! Finally, in my late 40's now, it's fading away. I actually didn't get one at all for like 2 months in a row.

    TheElderNom
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The pill isn't the only thing that can regulate periods, any hormonal thing will. I have a little stick in my arm that I replace every three years.

    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sure, it's not at all embarrassing when you're 14 to have your 27yo uncle loudly talk about your period in a public place. WTactualF? ESH except for the teenager. Menstruation is hardly appropriate dinner conversation, and the two adult women there just let him go on and on being a mansplaining moron? You all suck.

    Pamela24
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The girl (Pink) started the conversation, though. If they're comfortable as a family talking about it during dinner, I don't see an issue, especially if it's been initiated by the person actually affected. Also - he's her brother, not her uncle. A much closer relationship. And the two adult women did stop the mansplainer. I wouldn't be okay talking about periods at the dinner table, but I'm still struggling with period shame. Sounds like you do too.

    Load More Replies...
    Parmeisan
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know it wasn't meant this way, but I'd *like* to think that Agent Sparkles is suggesting that No Uterus No Opinion should be a general rule, like even for topics that have nothing whatsoever to do with women or gender. 😆

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