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![“[Am I The Jerk] For Telling My Elderly Mother She Can’t Bring Her Kittens To Live With Me?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/elderly-mother-kittens-allergic-cover_675.jpg)
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“[Am I The Jerk] For Telling My Elderly Mother She Can’t Bring Her Kittens To Live With Me?”
Is it willful ignorance when a person puts you in a situation that could potentially harm you? And is it selfishness to prevent a person from moving back to their home because you want to ensure your safety?
Today’s Original Poster (OP) is allergic to cats. After having to deal with his mom’s cats for years, he decided he was done living with them. So when his mom announced she was coming back to their place with a bunch of them, he stood firm on saying no to the cats.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Some people believe that the moment you ask a person not to do something, that’s when they start wanting to do it more than ever before
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author bought a house with his mother so she could take care of his son after his wife’s death
Image credits: Mountain-Carob-4297
Image credits: Pixabay / Pexels (not the actual photo)
His mom came with dogs and cats, and it was difficult because he was allergic to the cats, but he endured it for six years
Image credits: Mountain-Carob-4297
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When the mother started seeing someone, she moved out of the house and decided to get more pets, including two kittens
Image credits: Mountain-Carob-4297
She and her boyfriend eventually broke up, and she had to return to her home with the author, but he insisted that he wouldn’t be living with cats
The OP began by explaining that his mother sold her home and decided to move in with him to help care for his infant son following the death of his wife. His mother brought along with her two dogs and two cats that she’d had for years. However, this arrangement was far from easy. Not only was it difficult for the OP in terms of handling them, but he was also allergic to cats.
Six years later, the mother moved across the country to be with a man she had met. Few months after the move, she started talking about getting new pets—two more kittens and a puppy. However, this set off alarm bells in the OP’s head. He then told the mom to think hard about if her new relationship would last because he knew if things went south, his mother would return to the house with the pets.
As for him, he had struggled with her previous pets, so he told his mother that he would never live with a cat again. Despite his firm objections, the mother went ahead and got a puppy and two kittens. Unfortunately, his mother and her boyfriend broke up after two weeks because he couldn’t deal with her pets. This left her without a place to stay, so she had to return to her home.
His mother then began to insist that she would be bringing the puppy and kittens with her when she moved back in; however, the OP said “no cats.” She told the OP that he would be denying her happiness and offered to keep the cats in her room to limit their impact on the house, but the OP’s firm stance remained: no cats.
Image credits: bokodi / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Positive Psychology confirms that pets greatly enhance mental and physical well-being. Pet owners are less likely to experience depression and often have lower blood pressure in stressful situations.
They explain that stroking or hugging pets can ease stress and playing with them boosts serotonin and dopamine. However, these benefits don’t eliminate concerns like allergies, which is at the heart of the OP’s conflict with his mother over her cats.
Contrary to the belief that exposure builds tolerance, Alen explains that prolonged contact with pets when one has an allergy can actually make allergies worse. Instead of adapting, the immune system may become more reactive to allergens in pet dander, saliva, and urine, leading to more severe symptoms or even asthma.
Managing allergies while living with pets requires proactive measures like keeping pet-free zones, using high-efficiency vacuums, and regular grooming. Still, in cases like the son’s, complete avoidance may be the only way to protect his health.
This conflict ties into a broader issue: co-owning a home. According to KKW Solicitors, buying property is a major financial and emotional commitment, especially when sharing ownership. While it has advantages, differing lifestyles and priorities can create friction. Clear agreements on responsibilities, such as pet policies, are essential to prevent disputes.
Netizens were divided on this one, but a significant number of people argued that the OP is in the wrong because his mother co-owns the house. Others sympathized with the son’s struggle, emphasizing that allergies are a serious health concern and that his mother is being selfish by insisting on keeping the cats despite knowing his condition.
What do you think? Do you think the OP is being unfair, or is he justified in refusing to live with the cats despite his mother’s situation? We would love to hear your thoughts!
Netizens were divided as some called the mother selfish for dismissing her son’s allergy, while others maintained she had the right to bring the cats
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What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 9 months ago
Bringing a living thing into the household requires unanimous yes from everyone.
Papa 9 months ago
I hadn't thought of it like that when reading the story, but you're right. It affects everyone in the house, so this is one of those situations where both people need to agree, or it's a no.
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Maisey Myles 9 months ago
Mama needs to choose between her kittens and her grandchild. Even if she owns half the house, she should be respectful of her sons allergies, especially when he said no cats
Uncommon Boston 9 months ago (edited)
No! OP warned her, no cats! Allergies suck. If you don't have them it can be hard to understand. My father lectured me about the horrors of his new wife's celiac disease, over my seafood allergy. I ended up in the Trauma Center after my first allergic reaction. She has never been hospitalized, yet her needs come first. Think of all the people who try to trick people into eating what they are allergic too. I am allergic to cats, it is not my choice. I wish people were more understanding about allergies. Also, he doesn't mention how much of the animal care became his responsibility. Does mom make an effort to clean up pet hair often? Or since it is his allergy, it is his problem?
FreeTheUnicorn 9 months ago
Bringing a living thing into the household requires unanimous yes from everyone.
Papa 9 months ago
I hadn't thought of it like that when reading the story, but you're right. It affects everyone in the house, so this is one of those situations where both people need to agree, or it's a no.
Load More Replies... Maisey Myles 9 months ago
Mama needs to choose between her kittens and her grandchild. Even if she owns half the house, she should be respectful of her sons allergies, especially when he said no cats
Uncommon Boston 9 months ago (edited)
No! OP warned her, no cats! Allergies suck. If you don't have them it can be hard to understand. My father lectured me about the horrors of his new wife's celiac disease, over my seafood allergy. I ended up in the Trauma Center after my first allergic reaction. She has never been hospitalized, yet her needs come first. Think of all the people who try to trick people into eating what they are allergic too. I am allergic to cats, it is not my choice. I wish people were more understanding about allergies. Also, he doesn't mention how much of the animal care became his responsibility. Does mom make an effort to clean up pet hair often? Or since it is his allergy, it is his problem?
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