“She’s 38”: 60 Times Coworkers Said Something Dumb And Left People Wondering How They Got The Job
It’s fair to think that most of us want smart people on our team at work. Or let’s rather say we’d prefer not to have dimwits. Quite frankly, it’s just easier to get the job done when the pencils are all sharpened properly, and none of the tires are flat, if you know what we mean…
Sadly, we can’t always get what we want. And while we can choose our friends, we cannot choose our coworkers. From the one who asked whether the stairs go up or down, to another 38-year-old who admitted to playing Barbie in her head, people have been outing their not-so-bright colleagues for all the world to see.
Bored Panda has compiled a list of shockingly stupid things to come out of the mouths of the gainfully employed. And even HR might be stumped. May these stories give you a newfound appreciation for any of your coworkers who have more than half a brain cell.
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Nope. Your email did not find me well today. In fact, it finds me wondering how I ended up working with an imbecile… If you’ve ever found yourself thinking something along those lines, you might be dealing with someone who is not the sharpest tool in your company’s proverbial shed.
Whether they just don’t follow instructions, refuse to listen, make the same stupid mistakes over and over again, or simply do not think before allowing the verbal diarrhea to come spewing out of their mouth, it can be frustrating to know that this person somehow got an adult job when it seems they'd be better off going back to school.
As tempting as it may be to blow a gasket or scream “shut up!” this isn’t the professional way to go about dealing with idiots in the workplace. A guy called Michael Cauchon has provided some pretty solid and helpful one-liners to use in certain situations where dumb reigns supreme.
For example, do you work with someone who seemingly failed comprehension at school, or won’t take the time to read the whole email? Here’s what he suggests you say:
“The previous communications contain the information you are looking for, but I will paste it here for clarity.”
“Reattaching my email to provide further clarity. I have highlighted the part that concerns this the most.”
“I have included my initial email below which contains all of the details you are looking for.”
“I previously sent you an email regarding that, but please let me know if something went wrong in transit.”
“Try problem-solving on your own before you come to me.”
“I encourage you to brainstorm possible solutions prior to looping me in for additional support.”
Imagine having to physically look through encyclopedias and reference books.
You gave your coworker advice, or warned them that something wasn't going to work, but surprise, surprise, they didn't listen. Now everything has gone south. Instead of the good old "I told you so" jab, Cauchon suggests responding with this gem:
"As per my prediction, this outcome does not come as a surprise…"
And what if said coworker now wants you to fix their mess? Cauchon, a copywriter by day and apparently a guru of comebacks by day and night, advises that you throw it right back at them. Politely, of course.
You could say, "I did previously note that this was a likely outcome, how do you plan to resolve this?" or you could try, "As I mentioned something of this effect may happen, so moving forward, what do you believe would be the best solution to remedy this?"
Wait till she finds out that euthanasia does not refer to the young people there.
🤬 this is why people don' get the help they need! My father would tell me I didn't have a reason to be depressed, get over it. He's not a bad person, he was told this his whole life by his toxic mom. He has severe PTSD and wouldn't get help because it wasn't acceptable. I DID get help, after a complete meltdown.
Of course, it has to be said that sometimes when we think we're dealing with a dumb coworker, the call might be coming from inside the house. In other words, we are the problem. Not them.
For example, if you have shown someone how to do something several times and they still don't get it, it's possible that you're a bad teacher.
"Don't assume that the problem belongs to them. This is part of how you come to see the full picture. They might just be dumb, poor learners, but they also might not understand what you keep telling them and fear your reaction if they tell you. By not blaming them, you give them a chance to offer an explanation," explains the Lifehacker site in response to a reader seeking advice on a frustratingly dumb coworker.
Lifehacker's experts go on to say that if you're a terrible teacher, this so-called dumb coworker can help you learn to be better. "Maybe they just struggle with certain tasks and don't know what to do. In this case, you can ask how to teach them and work with them a little more closely," they suggest.
If that doesn't work, you may want to call in the help of a few other colleagues. "In the event you're alone in dealing with a coworker of deficient intelligence, make sure other people know the problem as well," notes Lifehacker. "Ask someone on your level or above you to work with this problematic coworker for a little while and assess the situation."
... and these people vote, and breed, and hold positions of authority ...
If your smarter coworkers don't find a problem with the person you're complaining about, you might very well be the problem.
"Often times a breakdown in communication can make someone seem stupid when they actually have quite a bit of intelligence," cautions the Lifehacker team. They suggest having lunch with the person so you can get to know them a bit better.
"This might sound miserable, given how you feel about them, but it can give you a chance to understand their behavior a little better," they explain. "That can provide insight into how they operate and how you can communicate with them more effectively."
On the other hand, if your coworker truly isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, sometimes it's best to just laugh off their stupidity. As long as it's not costing the company millions, of course.
"If you didn't have to work with them, you'd probably find a lot of their actions funny," Lifehacker's team guesses. "Making a concerted effort to laugh about the dumb things they do rather than conjure up more anger will help you let go of a lot of the frustration."
I hear there's a trail you can take, but you might get dysentery on the way, so be careful.
As Cauchon writes, "It’s not always the workplace clown causing all the issues. We also have our fair share of shortcomings from time to time." And it's important to be kind. Talking about being kind, we had to laugh at his advice (inspired by Dale Carnegie) on what to do when a coworker is not doing what they're being paid to do:
"If someone else isn't doing their job, do it for them and do a really terrible job of it, then send it to them with the likes of 'I noticed you’ve been tied-up with other tasks, so I went ahead and took the lead on this, does it look alright?' Nobody wants their name on bad work, so they'll drop everything and fix it immediately."
Well, I've hung out with stupid people and felt stupid for doing so. So there's that.
Kneecap them and make them park at the back of the lot. That *might* get the point across - but it's not guaranteed.
Being the oldest child is completely irrelevant to the parents' age.
I'm sorry, but what exactly is "concrete" ice cream, which does not sound remotely appetizing? I'm imagining those hard, chalky, foil-wrapped lumps of "astronaut ice cream" sold as a novelty in science museum gift shops.
Only because it precedes Black Friday. (Which is always on a Friday.)
TBF fridge and AC controls are easily confusable, depending on whether they're labelled in degrees or just arbitrary numbers. I have one fridge that can be set between 1 and 10 degrees and another one with a manual control knöb going from 1 to 5, for example. (Edit, who'd have thought BP would censor knöb ?)
"No. I adopted a kid but I don't love him enough for him to be my son, so he's my nephew."
There actually is a lake hereabouts that has a tall cliff on one side and a small town on the other. The cliff was found to have cracks developing and there actually is a danger of the town being swamped if/when it collapses into the lake.
It never occured to the coworker to just look it up? He has so many ways of finding out.
I gotta quit reading lists like this. They're sapping my will to live.
One time I mentioned my desire to convert to Judaism to a coworker. She proceeded to tell me that the Jews today are not the same people as the Jews in the Bible and that the Bible says so. (This is NOT TRUE, to be clear.) Arguing felt unsafe, so I was just like, "Okay..." Maybe I should've gone to HR, but I was the one who'd brought up religion to begin with. Another time, while talking to that coworker and a Guatemalan-American coworker, I mentioned that I'd read that the quesadillas we eat here in the US aren't authentic Mexican quesadillas. So dumb coworker asked Guatemalan-American coworker if they're authentic. I said, "She's Guatemalan." Dumb coworker said, "Yeah, I know. But are they authentic?" So I said, "She's Guatemalan, NOT MEXICAN." Dumb coworker said, "Oh! Really?!" She didn't understand that Guatemala and Mexico are different countries... This was Walmart, btw.
I think that was another boring post on BP with over used outdated stories.
I gotta quit reading lists like this. They're sapping my will to live.
One time I mentioned my desire to convert to Judaism to a coworker. She proceeded to tell me that the Jews today are not the same people as the Jews in the Bible and that the Bible says so. (This is NOT TRUE, to be clear.) Arguing felt unsafe, so I was just like, "Okay..." Maybe I should've gone to HR, but I was the one who'd brought up religion to begin with. Another time, while talking to that coworker and a Guatemalan-American coworker, I mentioned that I'd read that the quesadillas we eat here in the US aren't authentic Mexican quesadillas. So dumb coworker asked Guatemalan-American coworker if they're authentic. I said, "She's Guatemalan." Dumb coworker said, "Yeah, I know. But are they authentic?" So I said, "She's Guatemalan, NOT MEXICAN." Dumb coworker said, "Oh! Really?!" She didn't understand that Guatemala and Mexico are different countries... This was Walmart, btw.
I think that was another boring post on BP with over used outdated stories.
