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“Most Were Also Flabbergasted When I Told Them No”: People Share The Dumbest Customer Questions
Few things test your limits as much as working with clients. Even one workday can bring so many bizarre moments that you might start doubting the brightness of humanity's future.
So Reddit user Dashigos decided to dig further and asked people to share the silliest questions customers have ever thrown at them.
From pizza chefs to park rangers and call center employees, continue scrolling to check out what these and other professions have to deal with—whatever they're getting paid, it's probably not enough.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I used to work at the UPS store in high school. Our last pickup was at 7:00 and we closed at 8:00 pm. Since we had private information and people’s personal mailboxes in the store, security was a big deal.
It was 8:30. Our tills were counted down, the alarm was set, our copiers, fax machine, and computers were shut down, our lights were off, and we had closed and locked a ginormous red gate that separated the entrance from the rest of the store.
Some woman ran up to the door, and like some demon in a horror movie, she hurled herself against the glass and screeched like a banshee.
Keep in mind, we are very obviously closed with a sign saying we are closed, no lights on, and a giant red gate drawn down over the store.
She began pounding on the glass and frantically yelling at us. My coworker worried something was wrong, like maybe she was being chased and needed help.
He carefully opened the door just a crack to ask what was wrong. She immediately tried to wedge her hands and head in the crack and asked “Are ya’ll open?” We informed her that we obviously weren’t.
Her logic was “well you opened the door so now you have to help me”.
She began wailing and crying that she had to mail a package. We explained that even if we were open, our last pick up was an hour and a half ago and we couldn’t even mail it until tomorrow.
She protested and protested and we eventually got the door shut and locked. So we just stood there awkwardly in the dark, hoping she would leave. She kept pounding on the glass and saying “I know you’re open!!!!”
As we debated what to do and if we should call the cops, this lady pulled out her cell phone and called the cops herself!
The cops arrived, we explained the situation, and the woman accused us of lying, despite the sign on the door saying we closed an hour ago at this point.
Then, in front of the officer and on security camera, the woman launched herself at my coworker and hit him in the face. She immediately jumped back and began fake crying that he had assaulted her.
We were dumbfounded. She ended up getting arrested and my coworker pressed charges.
So the stupidest question I got was “Are you open?”.
RELATED:
#2
I used to work at Enterprise Rent-A-Car (We'll pick you up!). I went to pick up a customer (worth noting she was renting a car for a weekend getaway), called her when I got to her apt, and she came downstairs and had this conversation:
Lady: Ok, I'll follow you back to the office
Me (confused): I'm here to pick you up and drive you back to the office.
Lady: What am I supposed to do with my car?
Me: Were you planning on leaving your car at our lot over the weekend?
Lady: No
Me (more confused): Why are you going to follow me in your car? I can drive you back to the office, finish the paperwork, and you can take the rental car from there.
Lady (not grasping the concept): Well how are you going to get back?
Me: I'll drive us both, in this rental car, back to the office, where we can do the paperwork and you can take the rental car from there. That way, your personal car is still at your apt. And when you return the car on Monday, you can drive the rental car back to us, we'll close out the paperwork, and we'll give you a ride home. Sound like a plan?
Lady: That doesn't make sense. You're making this way too difficult. I'll just follow you in my car.
Me (thinking the customer is always right!): Ok!
We get back to the office, I finish the paperwork (still astonished she qualified to rent a car), and hand her the keys to the car.
Lady: Ok, how do I get my car back to my apt?
Me: ...
Lady: Can you drive my car back to my apt?
Me: I'm not authorized to drive your car. You're welcome to leave it here on the lot over the weekend if you want.
Lady: Ok, can you drive the rental car and follow me back to my house so I can drop off my car?
Me: This is what I was trying to do when I picked you up! There was no need to take 2 cars.
Lady: I'd like to speak to your manager.
#3
This will be buried but hopefully it makes someone laugh. Worked at an animal hospital and a woman made an appointment for her dog for lumps on his stomach.
She comes in, sees the doctor, only to be told that the strange lumps were the dogs NIPPLES.
She dead a*s said, "But he's a boy!"
Apparently she has either never seen a man without a shirt or forgot that males also have nipples.
#4
A woman came to the check out and handed me a bag of mozzarella. She asked me what the ingredients were and if there were any chemicals in it. I turned the bag around and started to read the ingredients out to her. She grabbed the bag out of my hand, angrily said "I could have done that myself " and stormed off.
Panda-sized Potato 11 months ago
Too bad for the lady, it has a lot of chemicals. Pretty much all of it. Everything made of matter is a chemical.
#5
I worked at a convenience store while in college. This married couple comes in and they go get drinks. The lady asks me if the bottle water is fat free. I smile and just, yes and that brand is also calorie free. She smiled and said thanks. Her husband gets out his wallet, shakes his head, and pays.
#6
When I was a teenager I had a customer try to fight me because we didn't do the taco Tuesday discount for him.
It was the weekend.
quentariel 11 months ago
This reminds me how our once health inspector wrote us up for not measuring our temperatures properly (we have to take daily temps inside of every fridge, freezer, cold table and so on). Apparently we were not taking temperatures on weekends and also didn't mark the dates properly on the report paper. Well, obviously we haven't gotten weekends temperatures on our weekly report as it was currently friday. Also, the reason there wasn't exact dates, was because there was a huge week number, meaning that it was the current week. All then previous weeks' reports would be found in a file if he bothered to ask.
#7
Customer: Aren't those apples $2.49 a pound? Why are you charging me more than that?
Me: *motions to screen* Yep. They're $2.49 a pound and you bought 2.3 pounds and so, the price is correct because that's how multiplication works.
#8
No lie, I volunteer at Stonehenge and was asked when in the Bible it was created. That was more perplexing than the usual UFO questions.
SheamusFanFrom1987 11 months ago
Just tell them to look it up in the chapter in which punishment by stoning was involved...
#9
I used to work in IKEA in the section which sold wardrobes. Big behemoths of things. Normally around 6 foot long and 60kg in boxes. Customers would regularly ask me would it fit in their car. After being polite the first few times asking them about the size of their car and guessing, I then just started asking them what colour their car was. The amount of people who'd answer unphased was amazing.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 11 months ago
Oh, you have a white car. No, sorry, they only fit in blue cars
#10
I once had a customer ask me if our wine was on sale because it was about to expire. Our good, aged red wine.
EDIT: the customer also insisted that she get a discount because the wine bottle did not have an exp. Date..
#11
I had a customer take up 10 minutes of my time saying that I didn't know how to do my job because I couldn't find the "nutritional facts" placard on a carton of cigarettes.
Why, you who walk around with your head full of brains, may ask?
She needed, NEEDED, to know if these Timeless Times pieceoshit cigarettes contained corn syrup in them. Because, dontchaknow, the corn syrup in bad for her.
SheamusFanFrom1987 11 months ago (edited)
Just tell her: Oh they are bad indeed. They contain ni-corn-tine, cob-on monoxide, maize-thanol and many other corn syrup side products -_-"
#12
Many years ago managing a pet store, a customer came in with an empty bottle of oral skin and coat supplement. He wanted a refund because it made his dog's coat really greasy. So as I start working on his refund I ask a few questions, trying to find out why the product failed. I ask the standard questions, did you use too much, how often. Stuff like that.
As we are conversing it started to click that he didn't use this on his dogs food he used it like a shampoo and rubbed it on his coat. So I nicely explain that it is *oral* skin and coat supplement and it's intended to be put on the dog's food.
He was embarrassed and apologized and started to leave refusing the refund. I gave him a new bottle in exchange for the now empty one and told him to give it another shot.
The guy was really nice and understanding about it, but come on. The instructions tell you how much to put ON THE FOOD, and it's called *oral* skin and coat.
#13
When I worked in a call center for home phone service, I had a guy call and angrily ask why we were still charging him for his phone service, since he had unplugged his phone from the wall a month ago.
#14
Worked in retail.
Regularly had customers ask to take the clothes out of the store and come back and pay later.
Like... absolutely not? Most were also flabbergasted when I told them no.
#15
I thought it was the dumbest thing but it turned out not to be.
I was working at a department store and this guy comes up to me and he shows me two of the exact same sweater. He's like, "Which one is burgundy?" They were both burgundy because they are the exact same sweater and I'm like... what is this dude smoking? Or I thought I was being punked or something. And he sees me hesitating and he's like, "Like... which one is more wine-red?" So finally I just point at one and he's like, "Oh, thank you so much. I'm colorblind and I can't really distinguish this range of color.".
Manic Mama 11 months ago (edited)
That's why I START by telling people I'm colorblind, and yes it's a serious question ...
#16
Working at a famous Mouse-based theme park "Can you shut off the rain now", "is there pork in the pulled pork sandwich?"
#17
Years ago, before the Internet was a thing, I worked in a small electronics shop. One day I got a phone call and it went like this:
Him: Yeah, hi. I was just wondering...how far is it to your shop?
Me: (Long pause, calculating how galactically stupid this question was, whether I was being pranked, and how a professional business person would handle this.)
Me: Oh, it's just a few miles away. Come on down.
Him: OK. See you soon.
Follow-up: No idea if he ever actually arrived. I got busy and people came and went all day. But it was still the dumbest question I've ever received.
#18
Web developer here.
I had a client who was absolutely *livid* -- literally screaming at me -- when I told her she couldn't take the hyperlinked words from her webpage, transfer them over to her print ad, and still have them function like a link.
#19
I used to work in a phone shop.
Had someone come in asking why their phone wasn't working properly. It was visibly scorched and melty. I asked why it looked that way. They said, it came up with an error message saying it had been too cold (not an error message I had heard of before, but I know phones can bring up errors for being too hot, so who knows) and so they had put it under the grill to heat it up.
The grill.
Their first point of call was to cook it.
I said, that's why their phone wasn't working, and no it was not covered under the guarantee.
#20
Working at a state park in Maine:
When do deer turn into moose?
#21
I sell stamps from my register at work. This was just a few days ago, actually. I had a lady come up and ask to buy some postal stamps.
I asked her, “how many stamps would you like? We sell them in books of 2, 10, and 20.”
Her: “...what? What does that mean?”
Me: “it’s just the number of stamps in the book. Do you want 2, 10, or 20 stamps?”
Her: (suddenly getting angry) “I don’t know what that means. What is a stamp? I don’t know what a stamp is”
Me: ???
I eventually sold 20 stamps to her while she was vaguely hostile and suspicious about the entire concept of stamps and stamp quantities? I don’t know how to explain this to you, lady, you’re the one who came to me for stamps.
SheamusFanFrom1987 11 months ago
Anymore hostility and I hope OP would've been allowed to stamp her out. Talk about going postal...
#22
Used to work at a movie store in the early 2000s, this dude with a thick accent kept calling in every other few weeks or so asking if we had this movie on DVD called "Churro Man"
I mean this guy called a lot, and I told him that no such movie existed in our system but he was adamant he'd seen it on a release schedule.
Finally a couple of months later, some guy walked up to me and asks me for the movie. I immediately recognize the voice and know who it is, after a few questions in person I realized what the movie was all along. The whole time he'd been looking for True Romance and it had indeed just come out on DVD, the accent threw me off.
Turns out it wasn't a dumb question and that I in fact was the dumb one.
SheamusFanFrom1987 11 months ago
Churro Man sounds like the sequel to Nacho Libre that I want XD
#23
I used to work in a pet store. One night a woman came in and said she had ordered a puppy off the internet and he would be arriving in the next few days. She had never owned a pet and asked several dumb questions, but the one that I'll always remember is "Do puppies need water?".
#24
Karen - "I'd like to speak to the manager"
Me - "I am the manager.....and the only person working here today"
Karen - "I don't like this policy. I want to speak to the owner"
Me - "Good luck with that. Their email is on the company cards available on the desk. And I'll include my cell number.....just because I'm interested to hear how it goes for you"
Oh boy did I get a pissed off text from her later that night hahaha.
#25
"What time do you close today?"
"We're open 24/7."
"Oh great! And what time do you close tomorrow?".
#26
Used to work at a car parts store. Customer walks in and asks if vegetable oil was better than regular engine oil and what isle it was on.
#27
Customer: I'll have a gin and tonic.
Me: This is a brewery.
Customer: Oh, can I get a glass of wine then?
Me: This is a brewery.
#28
Context - I was 16 during this
I work at chick fil a and I’m taking orders as you do, guy walks up and asks “Aren’t you supposed to be in school?”. I look down at the clock and see it’s 6 pm. I look at him confused and say “No it’s 6 pm”. He asks again, I say the same thing again.
Then he yells “Alright, F**K YOU” and leaves.
WindySwede 11 months ago
Goes to school at 6pm, knocks in the door "are you open? I see a light, let me in!"
Load More Replies...
Hobby Hopper 11 months ago
That reminds me of the time I pulled up behind an abandoned van at a stop sign. I needed to get around it to turn onto the main road, but just as I was about to pull around them, a car going the opposite way stopped, blocking the one free lane, and rolled down the window to talk to me. The driver started asking me what was going on, but as I had just arrived there literally 2 seconds ago, I had no idea. Furthermore, I was in a hurry. I told him I didn't know, and that I needed to get going. He obliviously plowed on, continuing to ask questions about the van. I reiterated that I didn't know and that I needed to get around it, and I couldn't until he moved his car out of the way. Finally, he drove on, but he yelled something really rude involving a painful act of upon myself. I wanted to tell him to eat a cactus, but he was already gone.
#29
Is the fire of your pizza oven organic?
ynyrhydref56 11 months ago
Like the guy that asked me if the ham was "processed". I know what he meant, but yeah I giggled
#30
Standing next to a pallet of eggs, with boxes of eggs in my hand and freshly unloaded ones on the shelf in front me. "Do you sell eggs?".
Panda-sized Potato 11 months ago
It happens. Sometimes people are more focused on the person and the question to notice the surroundings.
#31
>Do you have Raisin Bran, but without the raisins?
Bran flakes?
>No, that’s not it...
Snazzy Smurf 11 months ago (edited)
That is like asking for a cheeseburger without cheese and explaining what a hamburger is.
#32
IT, got a ticket from a lady saying her screen is blank. I call, because I saw her in orientation and to be honest she seemed to have never used a computer before (despite being 19, and her title as a receptionist).
"Ma'am is your computer on?"
"I don't know, how would I check?"
*coworker next to her grunts and turns on computer for her*
"Oh! Ok it's on, now do I have to type out my username AND password to log on?"
"............................."
No words could properly describe how I felt in that moment.
#33
"Can I return the box for a full refund? The thing was stolen so I don't have any use for it now."
Umm, not here, no. Call your insurance company.
#35
I'm a chef at a grill. We also have a buffet for people who don't want something we grill.
One night, the special was a type of seasoned fish. An old guy came up and asked "is this freshly caught?" I thought he was kidding so I kind of chuckled as I told him that no, we order it and get it frozen. He was pissed and made a scene as he left saying that only a crappy restaurant served frozen fish.
I was in south-central Pennsylvania.
In the realm of client interactions, there's an often unspoken truth about the trials it can impose, much akin to the world of parenting. Just as a mother navigates the complex interactions with her teenage child, professionals face equally challenging and unpredictable scenarios with clients.
This dynamic is reminiscent of the struggles parents face when setting boundaries, as explained in the concept of ensuring enforcing necessary limits for teenagers.
#36
Working for a cable company in tech support - this happened on several occasions: Calls start with report of cable not working. First step is to ask what lights are on the cable box. Reply being none. Next step, ask to make sure everything is completely plugged in. Response, I can't see anything the electricity is out.
The length of time it took on these calls to explain that not only does the cable box need electricity, but so does the TV, still gives me the chills.
#37
I worked at staples and I had a customer ask if the printer toner was 'ethically sourced'.
This lady really thought laser printer toner was squeezed out of squids or some s**t.
Panda-sized Potato 11 months ago
Nope. Child labor from a wartorn village in a third world country.
#38
I work in IT and one day received a ticket from a customer very angry that a link on our website was broken. When I asked what the link was to or where it was trying to go (because our site has thousands of pages), they were incensed that I dared to ask them questions and wouldn't just fix it immediately. Sure, dude, I'll get right on checking the hundreds of thousands of links on our site and hope I find the one you clicked on in the next 3 minutes because you refuse to give me more information.
They complained to my manager.
WindySwede 11 months ago
"They were trying to help me by asking questions, I do not approve of this..."
#39
Not necessarily a dumb question, per se but by far the most memorable dumb customer encounter. Years ago I worked for an Audi dealership as a greeter/shuttle driver and one blissfully quiet afternoon, a middle aged woman in a beige A6 pulled into the drive. Here's how the exchange went down:
Me: Good afternoon. How can I help you today?
Her: This light came on! (She points to the check engine light with concern in her voice)
Me: Yes. That's the check engine light...
Her (interrupting me): No! It's this one!!! (the CEL was the only light on at this point in time)
Me: Yes. That's the check engine light.
Her: Well what does it mean?
Me: There are literally thousands of different things that can turn that light on but if you go into the office there, one of our service advisors can plug in a little computer and they'll tell you what's wrong.
Her: (scoffs condescendingly) So you don't know what it means...
Me: Ma'am I think they can help you better than I.
WindySwede 11 months ago
"The thingamabob is broken and need an tuning billymahoot, I woll be right with you, don't move the car, or it could ruine the rapturecondensate"
#40
*hands me bag of gummy worms*
Her: are there chemicals in this?
Me: yes
*hands me bag of plantain chips*
Her: what about this? It’s natural!
Me: ma’am, there’s chemicals in everything
Her: fine! I’m just take this then
*hands me a bottle of diet coke*.
#41
It wasn't a question, but I once had a customer threaten that she'd "never shop here again!"... two weeks before the store closed for good. There were signs all over the store and this was pretty big news in the city so there was no way she didn't know how empty her threat was.
Lew k 11 months ago
I don't think customers are really aware of how empty the "I'll take my business elsewhere" threat is to a entry/mid-level employee. Honestly I couldn't care less. In fact i wish you would. If I was allowed to cancel your account for being an unreasonable Karen you'd already be gone. Your threat to leave our company still doesn't change reality and your expectation is still impossible or unreasonable.
#42
I worked at a Dollar Tree on Black Friday. "where are your Black Friday deals?" "We don't have any. Everything is still a Dollar." People were pissed.
#43
Customer: "Why is it so dark outside all of a sudden?!?"
Me: "The sun went down, mam".
quentariel 11 months ago
That's our daily reaction up in Nordic countries. It turns from light into dark in a blink of an eye and sometimes our brain fails to follow up and is left wondering where the hell the sun dissappeared.
#44
"why doesn't my app make any money for me? it is published and people are installing it!"
app price: free
in-app purchases: none
ads: none
gee guy, I f*****g wonder.
Ozymandias 11 months ago
if you are clever enough to create and code an app, I don't think you should spell it out for him
#45
I work as a nurse at a hospital. On multiple occasions during small talk, my patients will ask me what I do for a living.
#46
Many years ago I worked at Home Depot.
One time I had a customer come up and ask me how to access the parking lot that's on the roof.
I told him that we didn't have a parking lot on the roof.
He didn't believe me, got super pissed off, and stormed out of the store to look for the access to the rooftop parking lot.
__
Another time I had a customer looking for a replacement cartridge for a faucet that he didn't have with him. If you don't know, there's literally hundreds of different types of cartridges.
Anyway, I asked him what make and model of faucet he had, and he responded with:
"You're the one that works in the plumbing department. YOU TELL ME."
I told him that there's absolutely no way I could know what type of faucet he had in his home. The guy labelled me as racist and then stormed off.
__
Another time I had a customer come up and ask me where the cat food was.
Joshua Russell 11 months ago (edited)
I'm still annoyed they switched away from those little disk screens that used to be cheap and universal for all faucets. People were using them for drrugs, so I get why they stopped selling them, but still, annoying.
#47
“I’d like the sirloin, medium rare with no pink.” Literally my first week on the floor waiting tables.
Also “you charge for drinks from the bar? Why didn’t you tell us?”
My favorite is when a guy asked what we charge per 2oz shot compared to the cost of the bottle and then said we were ripping him off. I really wanted to condescendingly explain capitalism to him but I didn’t have time.
#48
I used to work at a Turkish kebab/fish and chip shop with a wee sandwich cabinet.
A customer asked if she could have a ham sandwich and I told her that we didn't sell pig products as we were a Halal store.
She than said "ok in that case can I have a bacon and egg sandwich?"
No.
#49
I used to work at a retail nursery in the tree and shrub department. I had a customer tell me to extra water a bush he was buying because he didn't want to have to water it until he planted it in two weeks.
#50
**customer walks in the front door (company name on the door he opened), looks around, sees me** "Am I in the right place?"
I don't know buddy; you tell me.
BeesEelsAndPups 11 months ago
I have done and said this, and every time I wasn't asking the worker, I was asking myself.
#51
Customer; "Why can't you honor CVS's sales???"
Me; "Because this a Walgreen's, ma'am."
Customer; " SO??"
Edit: To those mentioning a price match option, you are totally correct, and this was a gross oversimplification of the situation, and I apologize for that.
What I was meaning to get across was the sense of entitlement that some customers could show.
Sometimes a customer got confused, thinking that they were in a CVS and when something wouldn't ring up 'right' they got very irate, very quick. They would ask; "isn't it supposed to be on sale", while rolling their eyes and handing me a CVS sale booklet.
Kinda like that thing where you wear your work shirt to another business and people start asking you questions, only to get mad at you when you say you dont work there lol.
cadena kuhn 11 months ago
Had an irate woman screaming at me, fist pounding on the counter "on the barnes and noble website" "Mam this is not Barnes and Noble" "What where am I" It was booksamillion
#52
Absolute dumbest thing I've ever heard from a customer. (obviously this is pre-GPS)
Worked at a convenience store that was the first gas station once you reached an island. This was at the end of I40, so it wasn't too uncommon for people to miss a turn onto 17, realize they'd just crossed a bridge onto an island and stop for directions.
1st Lady came in, asked directions to Island B. Told her to go back across the bridge.
"What Bridge?"
"The one you came across to get here."
"I didn't cross a bridge."
"Uh, okay, so you came across by ferry?"
"No. I didn't come on a ferry, and I didn't cross a bridge, and I'm NOT on an Island!!!"
... We sent her 10 miles to the end of the island to make her take the ferry that wouldn't start running for another 2 hours. It was the only answer she'd accept.
2nd one.
Poor guy came in looking for 95 South. Told him how to get to it. Raised an eyebrow . . . asked him where he'd come from. He answered with a town an hour on the OTHER side of 95. He'd missed his turn by 2 hours. And had to go tell his girlfriend/SO in the car. You could hear her screaming through the car and store windows.
#53
My first Christmas Eve working retail I had a customer ask for a LEGO set that the store was out of. I politely told him this and he followed up with does another store have it and I informed him that no store within 150 mile had it. His finale question was if we were going to be getting anymore before Christmas and I told him no again. Now, this wouldn’t have been so bad, except, he came back and repeated the three questions every half hour.
Michael Largey 11 months ago
By any chance, was this Christmas Eve visitor in chains and go by the name of Jacob Marley?
#54
Lady walks into the empty restaurant, looks around, asks "is this a furniture store?".
#55
(Answering phone calls at local zoo)
"So what do ya do, come in and look at animals?".
#56
"Do i need electricity for the internet to work?" Specifically when refering to cable internet.
Panda-sized Potato 11 months ago
That's a legitimate question. Not everyone is technologically savvy, particularly the older generation. Telephone wire didn't need power to work back in ye olden days, so it's not far for people who don't know to wonder if Cat cables do the same.
#57
I worked as a cashier at a supermarket and someone said that the prices in the store are high. She then asked if I could do something about it.
char 11 months ago
I work register at a pizza place, and I often get "why does it cost so much??? I thought they were only five dollars!" "yeah, well... not anymore" "that's ridiculous! why would you change the prices?" "inflation, man" people also get mad at me whenever: there's a wait for pizza, the app isn't working, codes from the app can't be applied in person, they learn we don't do delivery, as though I have any control over any of those things
#58
"The line is huge, and this thing is not expensive at all. Can you give it to me for free?".
#59
Customer walks into Home Depot: Where's your shoe department?
WTF.
#60
Is this organic? *pointing at sour patch kids*.
Mary Mcnamara 11 months ago
I was working at Honolulu International Airport back in the 70s.
A passenger approached me and asked me to direct him to a bank. He said that he had an eight hour layover between flights and wanted to do some sightseeing but..."all I have are American dollars."
He probably thought we lived in little grass shacks, too. download-6...4926b2.jpg 
#61
I had a customer asked me where we sold alcoholic water. Not hard seltzer, literally bottled water with alcohol in it. She refused to believe me when I told her we didn’t sell it and proceeded to ask three other people where it was.
#62
"Do you guys serve spaghetti?" I work at a Jimmy John's. We dont even heat up the subs. He was a semi regular customer too.
#63
"So you know those yellow glasses for night driving? Do you have those for night driving but in a reading glass?"
You want to wear reading glasses... While driving. At night. Yeah. Uh. No. We don't have reading glasses for night driving.
#64
Worked at Starbucks. A guy requested "extra macchiato" on his caramel macchiato. I looked at him and asked "You want me to extra mark the foam?". Then he looked at me and asked what macchiato even was.
#66
Yes does the PBJ have peanuts in it?
quentariel 11 months ago
Not a totally bizarre question as some peanut-flavored things don't have actual peanuts (or any other nuts) in them. But still takes a quite ignorant person to think peanut butter doesn't include any peanuts. Also it doesn't have tge word "flavored".
#67
Had a homeless woman try to buy vodka with old recipts and random business cards and such. I had to explain that the dollar amount on an old recipt is not currency and cannot be used to pay for something.
Elladine DesIsles 11 months ago
That's not stupidity, it's some combination of mental illness, intoxication or withdrawal, and desperation borne of addiiction.
#68
Customer: "What's my Facebook password?".
BookFanatic 11 months ago
I get "do you know my password?" about once a week. Most people understand when I gently tell them public librarians don't automatically know everyone's passwords. One gentleman just wasn’t getting it. Finally I asked him if he knew MY password. He was aghast—“Why would I know…oh!” It was a great lightbulb moment.
What do you think ?
John L 11 months ago
After reading all these straight thru, I now see how Trump got re-elected. Were just done....
Manic Mama 11 months ago
I have a non-English name, even though I live in (and was born in) an English-speaking country. My parents just liked the name. The spelling of this name is unusual, and makes no logical sense. It is however, how the name is correctly spelled in it's country of origin. 3 separate times I have spelled my name to people on the phone, and they've asked "Are you sure?"
Gina Price 11 months ago
I have a fairly common name, but even when I spell it out for someone, they'll write/type it completely wrong.
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Isabel Alves 11 months ago
I work at a museum shop. We sell a lot of posters and one day this twenty something girl comes up to me and asks for a poster that has ‘Jason Mandela’ in it, I ask her what is it again and she repeats the Jason Mandela. Well, this combination of names sounded so awkward to me, we have no artists under any of those names. The closest thing that came to mind was Nelson Mandela, but we had no posters with him as well… I started ti show her poster by poster so maybe I would have a cue of what in gods name is that Jason Mandela guy… to my utter surprise, it was neither Jason nor Nelson Mandela: she meant Martin Luther King!!!
BarfyCat 11 months ago
I thought surely this was going to end with Jason Momoa, boy was I wrong! 😂
Load More Replies...
DeoManus Argentem 11 months ago
1.Worked as the night manager at a car rental place that had signs everywhere requesting, "Do Not Feed The Monkeys" (we legit had three tribes of monkeys on our lot as a result of a zoo that was destroyed by a hurricane decades earlier), was walking the lot one night and a raccoon jumped out of a garbage can and ran into the woods beyond our fence. Lady screams, "was that a monkey?!", "no", "How do you know?!", "because it was a raccoon, the monkeys are sleeping." 2.Another lady asks me, "why are there so many planes flying over?" (We were directly across the street from a major intl airport), "mam, we're across from an airport, that's where they live."
The Doom Song 11 months ago
The one I get the most is "do you work here?" I once answered with "nope I just came in, and decided to just jump back here and put on a uniform and start using the tills for fun" The customer was not happy coz I was literally behind the counter serving someone when they asked. The customer I was serving thought it was funny and so did my store manager who was standing next to me
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
I used to get that all the time when I worked at Sprouts (fancy grocery store.) I'm wearing a green shirt with the Sprouts logo (which is literally the word SPROUTS with a leaf on the O) on the upper right. I have a name tag pinned to the upper left that says "SPROUTS" above my actual name. I'm wearing a half-apron around my waist with the Sprouts logo embroidered on it. No, I don't work here, I'm just a HUGE fan and I'm cosplaying :p
Load More Replies... char 11 months ago
tried to use a digital coupon that was "buy one cheese/pepperoni pizza, get one free"; I explained that those codes can only be used on the app/website (no problem, I have to tell people that all the time); he gets upset and is complaining that his wife will be upset if he doesn't come home with pizza; i gently ask him if he'd like to order anything---he doesn't, he just keeps wandering in and out of the door and around the lobby, complaining that his wife will be upset; eventually, he orders on the app so he can use the code; he gets his food and then gets upset and complains that the code wasn't applied; i look at his order to see what happened, and rather than ordering two cheese/pepperoni pizzas, he ordered ONE and it was SAUSAGE. it was the only time i've ever laughed at a customer, i felt so bad for doing so
char 11 months ago
ooh, also, one time, a middle-aged woman who was deeeeeefinitely not sober walked in at like 9 pm, I greet her and she doesn't say anything, she just goes straight to the drink cooler. while carefully scanning the cooler, she asks me "do you guys have any Pepsi?" i'm like "uh, yeah, we do", she just keeps on searching for Pepsi while I stand at the register dumbfounded because it is literally right in front of her eyes. she says, getting slightly more agitated, "I just need a Pepsi or a Mountain Dew, do you have either of those?" to which I say "yes, we do, we have both". she eventually spots the mountain dew and takes one, but instead of taking one from the front like any other person, she reaches in up to her shoulder and grabs a bottle from the back of the fridge. she takes it out, looks me in the eye, and says, "I shouldn't have this. it's too much caffeine." and i'm kinda like "oh, yeah, haha" and then she puts it haphazardly back in the fridge and leaves without buying anything.
Load More Replies...
Trisec Tebeakesse 11 months ago
One time in BOSTON, a tourist asked me where the Musee D'orsay was. She thought it was on Newbury Street. In BOSTON.
Lulu Waters 11 months ago
Working Customer Service at a popular store, a customer called asking to talk to somebody in the food department. I said no one actively sits by a phone in the food department is there something I can help you with. Then they proceeded to ask me to speak to somebody in the Oreo department instead.
William Teach 11 months ago
One of the dumbest was a customer giving me a quote from a dealership in Quebec. Yes, the Canadian one. Besides being slightly different standards in Canada than America, different monetary system. Annoyed so much I figured out the difference, figured out what travel costs would be, then added two thousand dollars so it was only a $300 negative deal. Then, when they complained, I said "go get it." Then the manager came out to say "go get it." Seriously, some people are nuts.
Alex Mosby 11 months ago
I regularly have this happen Customer: Can I ask you a question? Me: Sure Customer: Do you think my wife would like this? Me: I don't know. Customer: Well, your a woman. Me: How long have you been married? Customer: Over a decade. Me: I'm a stranger.
Grenelda Thurber 11 months ago
When I was in college years in the dark ages, I needed new tires for my POS car and was looking for something cheap. I called a couple of shops in the small town where I lived. I asked the guy who answered the phone what "regular bias" tires for my POS car would cost. He thought I said "radial bias" and corrected me. I didn't bother correcting him, but I've often thought about how he must have told all his buddies for years about the stupid woman who called asking for "radial bias" tires.
Laure Miller 7 months ago
The time I was visiting a CAVE and one idiot asked the tour guide what the CAVE was made of.
Freelove 11 months ago
I worked for a summer at Bed Bath and Beyond while in grad school and I once had a woman ask me, "Do you sell plates?" So I took her to the plates section. She said "No, do you sell microwaveable plates?" So we found where those were. Exasperated, she said, "NO, do you sell microwaveable plates that YOU CAN COOK HOTDOGS ON." Ma'am, I am not a mind-reader.
Surly Scot 11 months ago (edited)
At Culvers. Me: I'd like a 8-piece chicken dinner. Cashier - we only do 4-piece chicken dinners. Me: ok, take 2 of the 4-piece chicken dinners and toss them in the same box. Cashier - *loooong pause* i'm going to have to ask my manager if that's something we can even do. (yes, box was big enough to fit both chicken dinners, there was no reason to question it or need to consult a manager).
Surly Scot 11 months ago
At 5 Guys burger place, they always squash the burger down when they wrap it and turn it to mush. I ask them to take my burger, not wrap it in foil, put it in one of the little cardboard boxes they have, place that in a paper bag and hand it to me. I watched 2 floor staff and the manager stand around my burger scratching their heads for 15 solid minutes trying to figure out how to give me the burger without wrapping and squashing it in the foil wrapper, even though I already told them how. 3 grown men, 2 in their 20's and one in his 30's, just couldn't figure out how to divert from standard procedure. They ended up wrapping it in foil, squashed it, put it in the cardboard box, then in a paper bag and handed to me, burger still turned to mush.
Load More Replies...
John L 11 months ago
After reading all these straight thru, I now see how Trump got re-elected. Were just done....
Manic Mama 11 months ago
I have a non-English name, even though I live in (and was born in) an English-speaking country. My parents just liked the name. The spelling of this name is unusual, and makes no logical sense. It is however, how the name is correctly spelled in it's country of origin. 3 separate times I have spelled my name to people on the phone, and they've asked "Are you sure?"
Gina Price 11 months ago
I have a fairly common name, but even when I spell it out for someone, they'll write/type it completely wrong.
Load More Replies... Isabel Alves 11 months ago
I work at a museum shop. We sell a lot of posters and one day this twenty something girl comes up to me and asks for a poster that has ‘Jason Mandela’ in it, I ask her what is it again and she repeats the Jason Mandela. Well, this combination of names sounded so awkward to me, we have no artists under any of those names. The closest thing that came to mind was Nelson Mandela, but we had no posters with him as well… I started ti show her poster by poster so maybe I would have a cue of what in gods name is that Jason Mandela guy… to my utter surprise, it was neither Jason nor Nelson Mandela: she meant Martin Luther King!!!
BarfyCat 11 months ago
I thought surely this was going to end with Jason Momoa, boy was I wrong! 😂
Load More Replies... DeoManus Argentem 11 months ago
1.Worked as the night manager at a car rental place that had signs everywhere requesting, "Do Not Feed The Monkeys" (we legit had three tribes of monkeys on our lot as a result of a zoo that was destroyed by a hurricane decades earlier), was walking the lot one night and a raccoon jumped out of a garbage can and ran into the woods beyond our fence. Lady screams, "was that a monkey?!", "no", "How do you know?!", "because it was a raccoon, the monkeys are sleeping." 2.Another lady asks me, "why are there so many planes flying over?" (We were directly across the street from a major intl airport), "mam, we're across from an airport, that's where they live."
The Doom Song 11 months ago
The one I get the most is "do you work here?" I once answered with "nope I just came in, and decided to just jump back here and put on a uniform and start using the tills for fun" The customer was not happy coz I was literally behind the counter serving someone when they asked. The customer I was serving thought it was funny and so did my store manager who was standing next to me
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
I used to get that all the time when I worked at Sprouts (fancy grocery store.) I'm wearing a green shirt with the Sprouts logo (which is literally the word SPROUTS with a leaf on the O) on the upper right. I have a name tag pinned to the upper left that says "SPROUTS" above my actual name. I'm wearing a half-apron around my waist with the Sprouts logo embroidered on it. No, I don't work here, I'm just a HUGE fan and I'm cosplaying :p
Load More Replies... char 11 months ago
tried to use a digital coupon that was "buy one cheese/pepperoni pizza, get one free"; I explained that those codes can only be used on the app/website (no problem, I have to tell people that all the time); he gets upset and is complaining that his wife will be upset if he doesn't come home with pizza; i gently ask him if he'd like to order anything---he doesn't, he just keeps wandering in and out of the door and around the lobby, complaining that his wife will be upset; eventually, he orders on the app so he can use the code; he gets his food and then gets upset and complains that the code wasn't applied; i look at his order to see what happened, and rather than ordering two cheese/pepperoni pizzas, he ordered ONE and it was SAUSAGE. it was the only time i've ever laughed at a customer, i felt so bad for doing so
char 11 months ago
ooh, also, one time, a middle-aged woman who was deeeeeefinitely not sober walked in at like 9 pm, I greet her and she doesn't say anything, she just goes straight to the drink cooler. while carefully scanning the cooler, she asks me "do you guys have any Pepsi?" i'm like "uh, yeah, we do", she just keeps on searching for Pepsi while I stand at the register dumbfounded because it is literally right in front of her eyes. she says, getting slightly more agitated, "I just need a Pepsi or a Mountain Dew, do you have either of those?" to which I say "yes, we do, we have both". she eventually spots the mountain dew and takes one, but instead of taking one from the front like any other person, she reaches in up to her shoulder and grabs a bottle from the back of the fridge. she takes it out, looks me in the eye, and says, "I shouldn't have this. it's too much caffeine." and i'm kinda like "oh, yeah, haha" and then she puts it haphazardly back in the fridge and leaves without buying anything.
Load More Replies... Trisec Tebeakesse 11 months ago
One time in BOSTON, a tourist asked me where the Musee D'orsay was. She thought it was on Newbury Street. In BOSTON.
Lulu Waters 11 months ago
Working Customer Service at a popular store, a customer called asking to talk to somebody in the food department. I said no one actively sits by a phone in the food department is there something I can help you with. Then they proceeded to ask me to speak to somebody in the Oreo department instead.
William Teach 11 months ago
One of the dumbest was a customer giving me a quote from a dealership in Quebec. Yes, the Canadian one. Besides being slightly different standards in Canada than America, different monetary system. Annoyed so much I figured out the difference, figured out what travel costs would be, then added two thousand dollars so it was only a $300 negative deal. Then, when they complained, I said "go get it." Then the manager came out to say "go get it." Seriously, some people are nuts.
Alex Mosby 11 months ago
I regularly have this happen Customer: Can I ask you a question? Me: Sure Customer: Do you think my wife would like this? Me: I don't know. Customer: Well, your a woman. Me: How long have you been married? Customer: Over a decade. Me: I'm a stranger.
Grenelda Thurber 11 months ago
When I was in college years in the dark ages, I needed new tires for my POS car and was looking for something cheap. I called a couple of shops in the small town where I lived. I asked the guy who answered the phone what "regular bias" tires for my POS car would cost. He thought I said "radial bias" and corrected me. I didn't bother correcting him, but I've often thought about how he must have told all his buddies for years about the stupid woman who called asking for "radial bias" tires.
Laure Miller 7 months ago
The time I was visiting a CAVE and one idiot asked the tour guide what the CAVE was made of.
Freelove 11 months ago
I worked for a summer at Bed Bath and Beyond while in grad school and I once had a woman ask me, "Do you sell plates?" So I took her to the plates section. She said "No, do you sell microwaveable plates?" So we found where those were. Exasperated, she said, "NO, do you sell microwaveable plates that YOU CAN COOK HOTDOGS ON." Ma'am, I am not a mind-reader.
Surly Scot 11 months ago (edited)
At Culvers. Me: I'd like a 8-piece chicken dinner. Cashier - we only do 4-piece chicken dinners. Me: ok, take 2 of the 4-piece chicken dinners and toss them in the same box. Cashier - *loooong pause* i'm going to have to ask my manager if that's something we can even do. (yes, box was big enough to fit both chicken dinners, there was no reason to question it or need to consult a manager).
Surly Scot 11 months ago
At 5 Guys burger place, they always squash the burger down when they wrap it and turn it to mush. I ask them to take my burger, not wrap it in foil, put it in one of the little cardboard boxes they have, place that in a paper bag and hand it to me. I watched 2 floor staff and the manager stand around my burger scratching their heads for 15 solid minutes trying to figure out how to give me the burger without wrapping and squashing it in the foil wrapper, even though I already told them how. 3 grown men, 2 in their 20's and one in his 30's, just couldn't figure out how to divert from standard procedure. They ended up wrapping it in foil, squashed it, put it in the cardboard box, then in a paper bag and handed to me, burger still turned to mush.
Load More Replies... You May Like 50 World’s Weirdest Jobs That Pay Out Quite Well We Rounded Up Some Absurdly Funny Job Titles For Your Entertainment Pleasure Employee Denied Time Off After Covering A Crisis All Weekend: “The Stupidest Person Alive”
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