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Accidents and injuries can happen in the strangest places and the most peculiar ways. And most of us can agree that they occur most often when we least expect them. Plenty of us have hurt ourselves pretty badly doing mundane, routine, everyday tasks. While we might brag about the huge scar on our faces having come from rabid velociraptors that we fought off with only our bare fists, only our closest friends know that we really slipped on a banana peel and crashed into our fridge handle.
When the Super 70s Sports account asked Twitter users what the dumbest freak injury in their lives was, people rushed to share their experiences. As it turns out, people can be really fragile.
Scroll down to read through our list of hilarious and dumb injuries, and be sure to upvote the stories you enjoyed. If the stories made you smile or laugh, why not share them with a few buddies to improve their mood while they wait for the weekend? And if you have any experience with dumb injuries yourselves, share what happened with everybody in the comments! After all, grief (or in this case pain and shame) shared is halved. And joy shared is doubled. Be sure to scroll down for Bored Panda’s in-depth interview with Ricky Cobb, the founder of Super 70s Sports.
More info: Twitter
Image credits: Super70sSports
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Jackson Allinder 6 years ago
In am sitting here looking at this with my broken fibula that I broke while trying to tackle my brother
Kenny Kulbiski 6 years ago
When caught flailing at spider webs just tell people you're practicing for the audition of Kill Bill volume 4.
Judith Wilson 6 years ago
what did you think that mean old spider web was going to do to you that you were "in a panic"? Pathetic.
RELATED:
#2
Demonic Darkness 6 years ago
Because it is. As long as they don't have a heart condition....
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#3
glowworm2 6 years ago
This can actually happen in real life? Should I worry about cakes with sticks of dynamite in them too?
Jenica Thomas 6 years ago
Don't ever trust what you think might be a tunnel...
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Gareth Williams 6 years ago
I tried to impress a girl by stepping on a rake and catching it in my hand. Unfortunately I caught it with my head.
Ricky Cobb of Super 70s Sports told Bored Panda that the list of injuries in the Twitter thread “is so random and hilarious [that] it is almost impossible to single out” just one best answer.
“But I have a special place in my heart for the guy who said he threw out his back reaching for a french fry on his dashboard. There is something beautifully relatable about that story — or at least there is for me!”
#4
Marcellus the Third 6 years ago
You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof: Whenever you've made it idiotproof, the universe creates a bigger idiot.
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nanashi 6 years ago
I bet everyone had at least once in their life thought this would be a possible thing to do
#5
Geoffrey Holland 6 years ago
How the hell do you impale yourself on the corkscrew? I would seriously question this person's competence at even using a knife and fork.
John 6 years ago
Once when I was 7 or 8 my dad was showing me how to use a pocket knife. He told me, "remember to never cut toward yourself" and showed me what he meant, slipped, and cut a 3 inch slash through the meaty party of his thumb/palm. 30ish years later I still always cut away from myself.
Marcellus the Third 6 years ago
I find the scarifying type of teaching the most effective, too.
Cat person 5 years ago
That's like when I was in foods class in grade 7 and my teacher was explaining knife safety when all of a sudden he cut himself
Bored Fox 6 years ago (edited)
I once worked at place where I had to use box cutter to open various boxes. I thought that the box cutters were unsafe and unpractical so one day I brought my own Swiss Army Knife to work because I wanted to open the boxes with more safe and easy way. And I wounded my finger when I was just choosing the right blade for the work. :D
#6
“I think the only way to avoid freak injuries is to stop living life, so we’ve gotta get out of bed every morning knowing there's a chance, ever how small, some unpredictable misfortune may befall,” Ricky mused. “Thankfully it doesn’t happen that often. And it’s nice that, on the rare occasions we fall victim to the improbable, we can at least share a laugh about it. To think that amazing thread was inspired by my own broken finger from doing what would seem the most innocuous of tasks — walking out of a bathroom.”
#7
Jenny Lind 6 years ago
I want to down vote because I felt the pain through my phone, but that would defeat the purpose.
Elizabeth Rolando 6 years ago
You have the won the internet comment of the day.
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Dianna Siever 6 years ago
This sounds like extreme sadism gone too far. The "fell on a broom" line really does add insult to injury.
#8
Scarlett Dragna 6 years ago (edited)
I did a very similar thing! After watching the same episode, I looked into the mirror in my bedroom, panicked, took a flying leap for my bed! And hence got a ginormous bump because I hit the hard part of the window frame. But I was safe from Bloody Mary!!
Kaitlin Gaerte 6 years ago
i love supernatural and that was one of my favorite episode, but "skin" was definitely the grossest episode.
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Teresa Taylor 6 years ago
I have never watched Supernatural. Now I must, for this episode alone. I wonder if it is as terrifying as the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who. They were in a couple of episodes and those are the most terrifying for me.
Ren Duvall 6 years ago
It wasn't the scariest episode (in my opinion) but the series as a whole is really enjoyable
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MAL_Winchester 6 years ago
That episode is fantastic and I can understand why you freaked out.
Theory Buchannon 6 years ago
oh wow, YOU LIKE SUPERNATURAL TOO what team are you on dean or sam?! p.s sorry about your toes
Master Markus 6 years ago
There are teams still? I stopped watching seriously somewhere around season 6 or 7 and then dropped it HARD when I saw and read about the beginning of Season 9. They did Castiel real bad, and especially messed up his connection to Dean after Season 8 built up their relationship so much. Supernatural had/has a serious problem with rolling back character development.
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Hannah Hartley 6 years ago
After I watched that, I as terrified of all reflections for like a week. It was easily one of the scariest episodes, lol.
#9
Cassie 6 years ago
My husband's family owned the sweetest malamute. When we were dating, he was playing with the dog and somehow managed to catch his tooth in his nose, requiring surgery to repair. The dog, of course, did nothing wrong, and nobody blamed him, but he was so clearly sorrowful for weeks afterward. Poor pupper.
Peta_C 6 years ago
I had a similar thing occur when playing with a friend and her dog. Woofa's tooth got caught and tore my top lip. No fault of the dog at all. Five stitches and a scar that remains 15 years later. These things happen sometimes.
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Master Markus 6 years ago
I agree. It's a weird and unfortunate thing to happen to you accidentally, but it didn't happen because they did something stupid.
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Holly Allen 6 years ago
Ah a downvote? Come on! It's my dad's favorite thing to say! Lol
Load More Replies... Ricky also talked about the inspiration for his popular Twitter thread, as well as what motivated him to create Super 70s Sports.
“I started the Twitter feed about five years ago just as a hobby. Figured I’d try to entertain my friends and make some new ones. It has been an incredible experience. I’ve always loved comedy, sports, and nostalgia. I thought some other folks might too. But I never would’ve thought over 300,000 followers was realistic.”
#10
Helen Haley 6 years ago
Ok, that's skill. I'd put this photo on my living room wall if I did that.
Laugh Fan 6 years ago
But, but... don't more parts of the socket have to be engaged before that can happen? Or is that just UK sockets? 😕
Scott Lloyd 6 years ago
mostly just Uk sockets. these sockets dont have a ground shutter in them.
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Bill 6 years ago
Calling bs on this if thats the picture. Not hospital grade, and the ground only goes down in residential construction.
Bill 6 years ago
And they are tamper resistant so no way this would happen
Load More Replies... glorytherainwing 6 years ago
WOW. he explained the exact same thing that would happen in a cartoon
#11
glorytherainwing 6 years ago
real heros dont wear capes. they break both legs by falling down the stairs helping a kid
#12
N G 6 years ago
6 people die every year from being impaled on spaghetti. That's why they are banned in some countries, to get around the ban, the spaghetti hoop was invented
“I wanted to blend my love of sports, pop culture, comedy, and nostalgia into a place where people can share some laughs, interact, and enjoy a sense of community,” he explained to Bored Panda. “One of the best things about this tweet is it showcases the cleverness and wit of my audience which I believe is a big part of the appeal of my feed. Often they are funnier than me and this is a perfect example.”
#13
Eva the Ravenclaw Bookworm📚💖 5 years ago
When you are just THAT determined to make the bed sheets OBEY YOU
#14
No you didn't 6 years ago (edited)
I do like the fact that somewhere out there might be 50yo dudes playing hackey sack at Black Sabbath concerts.
Geoffrey Holland 6 years ago
I'm bet there were a few pulled groins after that as well.
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Aileen Hernandez 6 years ago
As a 19 year old I dislocated my right knee playing hackey sack... my leg landed fun when after kicking it.
Monika Soffronow 6 years ago
I had neverer heard of this, so I looked it up: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hacky_sack
#15
love life you only live once 6 years ago
you are asking the important questions
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AzKhaleesi 6 years ago
I threw out my back picking up a dvd on the bottom shelf at best buy fml
Bored Panda also talked to Jon Gerardi about an injury that befell one of his friends in high school: "We were taping book covers on (the plain ones we all had to do back in school, I'm sure you and others remember). It appeared that he was trying to pull tape from a dispenser and his hand slipped and he hit his hand off the bottom of his desk and ended up breaking his thumb by doing so."
"I think we don't think we can be injured at home or during daily routines because we do them so frequently, it's almost like second nature," Jon said. "One thing to prevent major injuries I'd say is to just be more aware of what we're doing and not rush through things."
Nobody wants to think that they’re not safe in their homes. But the truth is, plenty of accidents happen at home (just like lots of car accidents can occur near where you live because you may relax too much when thinking you’re completely safe).
For example, in 2007, 2.7 million people in England were injured in a home accident. While in the United States, almost half of the accidents that lead to the deaths of young adults and children happen at home.
#16
Foxxy 6 years ago
My jaw got stuck whilst eating an apple, hurt like hell. Don't know what caused it but I have had issues with my jaw for as long as I can remember. It often makes clicking noises and also pops and has a jarring feeling on certain movements.
littlesaresare 6 years ago
Get a referral for a jaw MRI. I was screwed around by so many doctors until someone finally suggested that. Diagnosed immediately after the MRI with a TMJ disorder.
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Bonny Saxon 6 years ago
I did that and had to go to the ER to put the jawbone back in its socket. Wasn't as much fun as it sounds.
L.j. Bus 6 years ago
I get that a lot. Or while eating. My jaw pretty much decides whether I’m granted food or not. When getting it checked out I got this brace to wear only at nights but the problem only got worse because I would be chewing on that brace all night long with more complaints each following day. Expensive braces don’t always work
#17
Suzanne Haigh 4 years ago
Some people call paramedics for the slightest thing, why could you not just go to A&E?
#18
IzzieM 6 years ago
Fractures only happen when you fall while sober, just a theory, but drunken falling is safer.
Dynein 6 years ago
Heard that, too. Apparently that's because you brace for impact when you're sober, so your muscles are all tensed up.
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Kirah Bettis 6 years ago
My baby brother was being born and my dad played Pokémon on my moms head will she was in labor, and he fell😁
AnotherCatPerson 6 years ago
I'm just thinking of a dude holding a phone and mechanically falling on his side and saying ow with a derpy look on his face. Is there something wrong with me?
Jackie Wilkes 6 years ago
I feel your pain. I fractured a bone in my foot in 2 places getting off of the couch.
Things that can seriously harm us are usually small: failing to put up a carbon monoxide detector, having a leaky hot water heater, an untucked carpet on the stairs, a slippery bathtub, a greasy kitchen or a malfunctioning garbage disposal unit. These are all things that can be the difference between life and death.
#19
Teresa Taylor 6 years ago
I picture them celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary with their 5 kids, 12 grandkids and 2 great-grands on the way.
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Fluffy monster 6 years ago
I've done that!! There's this bizarre split second when you feel like you've turned into Ghost Rider. (Wasn't on a first date though but back in the day when I used to smoke and occasionally wear stupidly long false nails.)
#20
Kip The Otter 6 years ago
I've done that roughly 3-4 times. My parents had child lock on so while I was in the car, I would try to close the door and accidentally closed it on my finger.
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DancingToMyself 6 years ago
I locked my long hair inside the car door. It was windy, the keys were also inside the car, along with my hair (which was length to my waist), and I was late for work (ballet dancer, show night). And that's how I met my husband. He loved me so much, he had to let me go, in order for me to love him back. ♥
David KH Wong 6 years ago
I did that exactly the same, following with a forever broken nail on the index finger.
Kimberley Pink 6 years ago
Seriously did the same, tho all four fingers, locked it and slammed it, had to do the awkward reach while screaming.... got the door open, my fingers matched the books and crannies of the inside of the door. I thought that really hurt, till I put them under cold water...... then the screaming got real..... all this because a neighbour was calling my name from behind me, and hurrying......
Courtney Harris 6 years ago
I did that exact same thing.....with a baby on my hip. Keys in opposite pocket. That day sucked!!!!
#21
Demonic Darkness 6 years ago (edited)
Super smash brother ultimate. A fighting game that can have some very... Frustrated... Responses. Or it could be ultimate Frisbee. Those are only 2 I can think of.
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Gracie Mae 6 years ago
you are my soulmate...friends & relatives have offered to make bubble wrap clothes for me
Statistically speaking, the kitchen and the bathroom are the two rooms in your home that you’re most likely to get injured. Now, it doesn’t mean that you should curl up into a ball and hide under your bed for the rest of your life. But it does mean that you should be aware of sharp knives and wet floors. And if you’re working outside your home, be wary when you’re mowing the lawn or cleaning the gutter: you’re most likely to hurt yourself while doing those two things. If you want to keep your kids safe, give them some other chores to do than mowing the lawn.
#22
No you didn't 6 years ago
Whoa! I hope this marked the last moment Sister Leonardo was ever allowed around children.
Iggy 6 years ago
Ah, yes! Education by the nuns was quite the experience. Sister Leonardo sounds standard.
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Emily Claire 5 years ago
Ok the sister at my school was the sweetest old lady I think she is still alive but she is really old she was strict but never mean even if she seemed mad or yelled at you it was bc you did something that was more disappointing the worst thing she ever really did was cut the boys hair if it went over their collar but that was dress code policy
#23
Amber Turk 6 years ago
TRUE STORY: A huge breast of frozen beef fell out of the freezer at work. Got a blackened toe. Then an old man's scooter ran over that toe 15 minutes later.
Monika Soffronow 6 years ago
That would be one turkey being blackened by getting heartily and lengthily sworn at!
#24
Anne 6 years ago
osteoporosis in a really bad way? I don't see how else..
Load More Replies... glorytherainwing 6 years ago
HOW COULD YOU MAKE THE MOST SATISFYING THING ON EARTH SUCH DANGER!!!???
#25
Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki 6 years ago
That will teach you not to lift a pork roast when it is f*****g.....something
Karen Johnston 6 years ago
Did the same thing, but pulling a turkey out the fridge. Damn meat!
Alex K 6 years ago
you are weak, your bloodline is weak,and your children will not survive the winter.
Monika Soffronow 6 years ago
Never ever lift anything sideways, turn to face it before you lift. One life. One spine.
#26
Mike 6 years ago
Probably not a good idea to buy a dress that fights back
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#27
Hendra Lim 6 years ago
i also walking backward before when i'm still 8, and it resulting me crashed with my sister which holding a cauldron full of boiling water. burned my head, lost quite a bit of hair, but it's a good thing that it didn't left a scar
Id row 6 years ago
2nd and 3rd degree burns leave scars for life. 3rd degree is skin death, it doesn't recover and you'll need skin grafts. I've had 1st degree burns that left scars for a few years but eventually faded away to where you can barely see it. If the scars went away, it wasn't 2nd or 3rd degree.
Katinka Min 6 years ago
I feel bad for laughing at the grill mark scras, but I just can't help myself.
#28
Demonic Darkness 6 years ago
I was terrified of my rooster. Only animal I am glad... Went to a 'better' place. With fire.
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#29
Geoffrey Holland 6 years ago
Yeah, try using scissors because you're obviously not the incredible hulk.
#30
JJM 6 years ago
That leaves a lot unanswered. My Mother walked into an elevator that wasn't there. Fortunately only one floor, however, broken ribs and concussion. Stuff of nightmares for me as a kid!
DancingToMyself 6 years ago
Wooow, I see a law suit! What if the damn thing was happening up, up, up?!
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Masen Silas 6 years ago
I stuck my finger in the intake of an escalator, like where the black rail goes back in. Nothing broke but a huge welt thing thats now a weird scar
#31
Stimpy 6 years ago
True story: I actually broke a rib due to coughing too hard (was an epic cold)
alwaysMispelled 6 years ago
This happened to me, too. A couple winters ago I had bronchitis or some kind of upper respiratory disaster. Sucked. Also shows what happens to your body (or at least mine) when you hit 30. Never broke a bone my whole life. Hit 30 broke ribs coughing and broke big toe playing soccer with a kid without shoes on.
Load More Replies... Iggy 6 years ago
Sneezing with a broken rib is one of the worst sensations. It hurts like hell and there is nothing you can do about it.
Cindy Snow 6 years ago
Yes! The more times you sneeze the stronger they get. I've had 40 sneezes in a day.
#33
#34
EpicFangirl 6 years ago (edited)
and god said.. let there be light... or broken fingers. either or works for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Hollie Newton 6 years ago
It's to stop the broken finger moving kind of like a splint using your other fingers
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#36
Theory Buchannon 6 years ago
that happen to my brother but he was playing heads up seven up and his friend grabbed his hair and slammed it on the table
Dr John A Truman 6 years ago
would make sense if a prior root canal was done, people dont realize this proceedure seriously weakens the tooth structure.
#37
#38
Night Owl 6 years ago
It used to belong to the Flintstones 1-11-5da82...4c332a.jpg 
#39
Demonic Cow 6 years ago
The story made me squirm, but the picture made it worse. That sounds horrible
#40
Ronel du Plessis 6 years ago
LOL!!! I broke my pinky toe while demonstrating to kids how to turn in forms for tae kwon do.
#41
#42
#43
Demonic Cow 6 years ago (edited)
I’m the opposite of athletic so I’ve done that, too, but at least I didn’t break anything.
#44
#45
Stimpy 6 years ago (edited)
Is it common for young guys to receive concussions for trying to reach second base too fast?
Hard 2 Guess 6 years ago
I suppose that depends on if you have permission to play on the field.
Load More Replies... AzKhaleesi 6 years ago
Done something similar. Riding my bike as a kid, turned to talk to my friend, when I turned back around there was a palm tree..... bounced right off it.
Anna Dahlberg 6 years ago
I as a kid on bike. Rode to fast. Road turned i dis not. I went through a wooden fence and landed in grass. Bled from face and screamd so my mom could hear me.
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#46
JJM 6 years ago
My 3 year old daughter was playing with her big sister, fell off the couch broke her wrist - went to emergency - and nice Doctor patched her up, A week later she broke her collar bone (same arm) same emergency, same Doctor. I was surprised he didn't have me charged with child abuse.
#47
#48
#49
#50
AzKhaleesi 6 years ago
10 years old, just helped my dad build a gazebo around our Jacuzzi. Was super proud of it, was walking to the house to show some neighbors when friend wanted to race, we took off, neighbor's dog ran in front of me, couldn't stop. I flipped over here landed and got knocked out. Still have a scar on my hand where subconsciously I tried to cover my head.
#51
AzKhaleesi 6 years ago
Trying to be a good Aunt and Mom, I built a trampoline for my nephew's bday (his mom and I were roomates at the time) the biiiig trampoline. Got it all set up was jumping with the kids, when one of them "stole" my jump (double bounce) landed, completely detached my ACL. So yup that was fun.
#54
#55
Jenica Thomas 6 years ago
A kid I went to school with broke his arm during bombardment. Some mystical way the ball hit his arm just right and snapped it. He was mid air when we heard the blood curdling scream.
Jenica Thomas 6 years ago
In my school we used it interchangeably. We also played a similar game called run the gauntlet where kids stood in two parallel lines and we took turns running between them from one end to the other attempting to avoid dozens of flying balls. So basically torture lol!
Load More Replies... #56
#57
Add New Image
What do you think ?
nicky colohan 6 years ago
This is true. Despite what happened to me (see above) my dad when he was 20 fell off a roof 3 storeys up skidded off the garage roof and landed on his feet unscathed. I think back then he was part cat. I fall 3 feet out of a window and destroy my arm. : /
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Laugh Fan 6 years ago
Went to stroke my friends dog who jumped up and gave me a black eye. Fell over by being a wuss about crossing some ice and broke my arm - husband went first and just calmly walked across but I kept testing it and being ultra careful. Lost my balance getting up off the loo and head-butted the handbasin. 🤕 Large lump and bruising that lasted for a good couple of weeks. I have so many of these - I'm an exceptionally clumsy person.
miaow 6 years ago
so relatable. Thats why am super slow when doing anything, everyone always tell me to be quick. If I ever hasten, my clumsiness steps in :S
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Roselyn Park 6 years ago
Y’know how some kids’ bikes have a chain guard to stop feet from getting caught in the chain? I got mine caught in the guard and sliced the top of my big toe down to the bone when I was about seven years old. I also got severely bruised in my girly bits trying to beam walk on a flat top picket fence. Mum brought the neighbours over to check out the bruises.
Darlynn Margrave 6 years ago
Putting Christmas decor up while standing on a folding chair. Stepped back, chair collapsed and i fell backwards, butt first through my glass and iron coffee table. The sound of the glass shattering was like a Hollywood action movie. Natural instinct cause me to turn mid flight and try to catch myself. The glass shattered and i immediately knelt to check my arms. Thankfully no severed wrists. Move on all fours to stand up and my daughter says "uh mom dont move." "Why ". I asked as i looked over my shoulder. There was a pretty good sized shard of glass sticking out. Yes, i had been deeply stabbed in the butt!! I reached around and pulled the large shard out. Blood started pouring out. My husband comes running and he yanks my pants down while im still on all floors and say im going to the ER asap. I started to look and he stops me. I dont like blood. My daughter is fasinated by all this and bends down close to the wound and says "whats that white bubbly stuff?". It was my a*s fat. We throw a down over it and head off to the hospital. Towel was soaked by the time we got there. My pants had a 1" hole but the the triangular sharrd had went so deep it took 27 stitches! At one point while getting sewn up my lovely daughter pointed out a spot i missed while shaving my leg and went on and on about how much a*s_fat she could see. Post Note: if you ever Have to be stabbed the butt is the best place. The pain was minimum but having to wear sweats to the office because i had thick padded bandages was great. Now the best part...My A*s Itched for 6 months! I would leave meetings just to go stratch and i getting really good at rubbing on desk and wall corners. And finally, since i did it the Monday before Thanksgiving that i was hosting for about 40 people they all had a good laugh.
Random Panda 6 years ago
Mine are: 1. Missed a step while running up the stairs and landed on my shin, hitting the sharp concrete edge and cutting it to the bone. Hurt like a b***h. 2. Jumped out of bed and didn't realise my leg had fallen asleep. Proceeded to fall backwards onto the desk corner and got a nasty bruise from my shoulder to my lower back. Almost broke a rib.
Jonas Grinevičius (Post author) 6 years ago
Oh my! I hope you're all OK now :O
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Kyle Crosbie 6 years ago
Impaled my hand on an oily knife that slipped as soon as I pressed down, tore tendons in my arm rolling pizza dough, walk through a glass panel because I didn't see it and had to get stitches, slammed a door and got a concussion from knocking a bunch ice ice off the roof. Slipped a disc tying my boots.
glorytherainwing 6 years ago
what legos are planning when we arent looking toby-price...59531e.png 
Benjámin Dorogi 6 years ago
With a rather big collection of kitchen accidents (two resulted in multiple stiches), last time I tried to crack a cinnamon stick in half and managed to impale one if my fingers with it as it broke :'D
nicky colohan 6 years ago
This is true. Despite what happened to me (see above) my dad when he was 20 fell off a roof 3 storeys up skidded off the garage roof and landed on his feet unscathed. I think back then he was part cat. I fall 3 feet out of a window and destroy my arm. : /
Load More Replies... Laugh Fan 6 years ago
Went to stroke my friends dog who jumped up and gave me a black eye. Fell over by being a wuss about crossing some ice and broke my arm - husband went first and just calmly walked across but I kept testing it and being ultra careful. Lost my balance getting up off the loo and head-butted the handbasin. 🤕 Large lump and bruising that lasted for a good couple of weeks. I have so many of these - I'm an exceptionally clumsy person.
miaow 6 years ago
so relatable. Thats why am super slow when doing anything, everyone always tell me to be quick. If I ever hasten, my clumsiness steps in :S
Load More Replies... Roselyn Park 6 years ago
Y’know how some kids’ bikes have a chain guard to stop feet from getting caught in the chain? I got mine caught in the guard and sliced the top of my big toe down to the bone when I was about seven years old. I also got severely bruised in my girly bits trying to beam walk on a flat top picket fence. Mum brought the neighbours over to check out the bruises.
Darlynn Margrave 6 years ago
Putting Christmas decor up while standing on a folding chair. Stepped back, chair collapsed and i fell backwards, butt first through my glass and iron coffee table. The sound of the glass shattering was like a Hollywood action movie. Natural instinct cause me to turn mid flight and try to catch myself. The glass shattered and i immediately knelt to check my arms. Thankfully no severed wrists. Move on all fours to stand up and my daughter says "uh mom dont move." "Why ". I asked as i looked over my shoulder. There was a pretty good sized shard of glass sticking out. Yes, i had been deeply stabbed in the butt!! I reached around and pulled the large shard out. Blood started pouring out. My husband comes running and he yanks my pants down while im still on all floors and say im going to the ER asap. I started to look and he stops me. I dont like blood. My daughter is fasinated by all this and bends down close to the wound and says "whats that white bubbly stuff?". It was my a*s fat. We throw a down over it and head off to the hospital. Towel was soaked by the time we got there. My pants had a 1" hole but the the triangular sharrd had went so deep it took 27 stitches! At one point while getting sewn up my lovely daughter pointed out a spot i missed while shaving my leg and went on and on about how much a*s_fat she could see. Post Note: if you ever Have to be stabbed the butt is the best place. The pain was minimum but having to wear sweats to the office because i had thick padded bandages was great. Now the best part...My A*s Itched for 6 months! I would leave meetings just to go stratch and i getting really good at rubbing on desk and wall corners. And finally, since i did it the Monday before Thanksgiving that i was hosting for about 40 people they all had a good laugh.
Random Panda 6 years ago
Mine are: 1. Missed a step while running up the stairs and landed on my shin, hitting the sharp concrete edge and cutting it to the bone. Hurt like a b***h. 2. Jumped out of bed and didn't realise my leg had fallen asleep. Proceeded to fall backwards onto the desk corner and got a nasty bruise from my shoulder to my lower back. Almost broke a rib.
Jonas Grinevičius (Post author) 6 years ago
Oh my! I hope you're all OK now :O
Load More Replies... Kyle Crosbie 6 years ago
Impaled my hand on an oily knife that slipped as soon as I pressed down, tore tendons in my arm rolling pizza dough, walk through a glass panel because I didn't see it and had to get stitches, slammed a door and got a concussion from knocking a bunch ice ice off the roof. Slipped a disc tying my boots.
glorytherainwing 6 years ago
what legos are planning when we arent looking toby-price...59531e.png
Benjámin Dorogi 6 years ago
With a rather big collection of kitchen accidents (two resulted in multiple stiches), last time I tried to crack a cinnamon stick in half and managed to impale one if my fingers with it as it broke :'D
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