Woman Wants To Have Her Cake And Eat It Too But Roommate Quits Being Her Parent

Living with a roommate isn’t always easy. If you’re best friends before moving in together, you might end up hating each other by the end of your lease. Conflicts are inevitable when you live with someone, so it’s important that you know how to handle them. Otherwise, the relationship might quickly start to spiral.

One man reached out to the internet for advice after he tried to set some boundaries with his platonic roommate. But she was comfortable with their arrangement, and she wasn’t interested in contributing any more to the household. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.

Over time, this man realized that he was taking care of his roommate

Danilo Rios / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

So he decided to set some boundaries, but she was not on board with them

Blake Cheek / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

zzbfoto / Magnific (not the actual photo)

Edenwood

Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

The vast majority of people living with a roommate say that their household has had conflicts

In theory, living with another person sounds like a piece of cake. All you have to do is respect their boundaries, clean up after yourself, avoid making too much noise, and pay your rent on time. Easy peasy. But in far too many households, roommates find themselves at each other’s throats. 

Research from Barclays found that nine in 10 young apartment sharers say they’ve lived with a nightmare of a roommate. As far as the worst things these roommates have done, leaving dirty dishes in the sink and blasting music or the TV at ungodly hours were the most common complaints.

Some other roommate archetypes that many people have experienced are “Nocturnal Gamers,” “Persistent Puffers,” and “WhatsApp Micromanagers.” But one of the worst aspects of having a terrible roommate is the fact that they’ve cost 64% of roommates money by not paying their share of bills or causing damage.

As far as why sharing a home with a roommate can be so difficult, it often comes down to the fact that they simply do things differently than you do. Maybe they are a complete night owl, while you’re an early bird, so you can’t ever get enough sleep. Perhaps you’re extremely tidy, while their idea of a “little messy” is when the apartment looks like a tornado rolled through. 

Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Learning how to resolve issues with your roommate is a necessary skill

There’s nothing wrong with not being 100% on the same page as your roommate, but if you want the living situation to work, it is important for the two of you to learn how to resolve conflicts. 

To do so, Rhythm Wellness recommends communicating openly and respectfully. Remember to use “I” statements and avoid attacking your roommate. It’s also wise to set boundaries and expectations early on, before lines become blurred.

As soon as you move in with someone, it’s a good idea to discuss how to split chores, the home’s guest policy, noise, shared costs, and quiet hours. But when issues do arise, remember to pick your battles wisely. 

It might be annoying when your roommate leaves dishes in the sink a few times, but you might not want to address the issue until it becomes a pattern. Remember, you still have to live with this person. So picking fights over the smallest things will quickly make the entire household tense.    

If conflicts with your roommate begin to escalate, it might become necessary to seek outside help. Filling an unbiased person in on the situation may help the two of you find common ground.

But if the household starts to become toxic, remember to take care of yourself. Living in a hostile environment is extremely draining, and everyone deserves to feel calm and peaceful at home. If you feel like you’ve tried everything, it might be time to simply move out.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you have handled it if you were in the author’s shoes? Then, if you’re interested in reading another article from Bored Panda featuring similar roommate drama, look no further than right here.

Later, the author responded to several readers and shared more details about the situation

Readers were appalled by the roommate’s behavior, and many noted that it’s definitely time for her to move out

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