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Woman Complains About DIL Who Won’t Let Her See The Grandkids, The Internet Doesn’t Support Her At All
Elderly woman sitting on a couch, looking thoughtful and upset about not seeing her grandkids.

Woman Complains About DIL Who Won’t Let Her See The Grandkids, The Internet Doesn’t Support Her At All

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It hurts to realize that your own child might not want to spend time with you, nor will they let you see your grandkids. Though they might not tell you to your face, they’ve alienated you or cut you out of their life. But in some cases, there might be clear reasons for this. Like your tense relationship with your child’s partner.

One deeply upset woman went on Mumsnet to talk about the divide between her, her son, and her daughter-in-law, and to share how she barely gets to see her grandchildren. Meanwhile, she’s jealous of how her grandkids get to spend a ton of time with the DIL’s side of the family. However, the internet was less sympathetic about her family situation than the woman expected. Scroll down for the full story and the internet’s reactions.

RELATED:

    If your loved ones constantly find reasons not to meet up with you, it’s natural to assume that something’s wrong

    Bride and groom holding hands walking through a green field, symbolizing family and relationship challenges.

    Image credits: Min An / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    One grandma was left heartbroken as she barely gets to see her grandkids because her son and his family seem to prioritize everyone but her

    Text excerpt about a woman excluded from grandchildren's life due to daughter-in-law's restrictions.

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    Text excerpt describing a family's move to the UK due to conflict, related to woman complaints about DIL and grandkids.

    Text excerpt describing a London family living in a small two-bedroom home with two young children aged 3 and 5.

    Text excerpt about woman complaining on issues with daughter-in-law and family peace, related to woman complaining about DIL and grandkids.

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    Woman bonding with grandkids at home, highlighting issues with daughter-in-law not allowing visits to the grandchildren.

    Image credits: Elina Fairytale / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    Text excerpt from a woman complaining about her daughter-in-law not letting her see the grandkids despite living nearby.

    Text from a woman complaining about her daughter-in-law not letting her see the grandkids or visit the house.

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    Text showing a woman complaining about her daughter-in-law who won’t let her see the grandkids despite buying birthday gifts.

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    Text message screenshot about being unable to see grandkids due to tiredness after school, highlighting woman complaints.

    Text about woman complaining about DIL who won’t let her see grandkids, causing family fallouts over travel decisions.

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    Text from a woman complaining about her daughter-in-law not letting her see the grandkids, expressing concern and stress.

    Three young children playing together in a narrow hallway, highlighting grandkids bonding and family moments.

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    Text discussing family conflict over lack of wedding invite and concerns about relationships with daughter-in-law.

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    Text post about a woman complaining that her daughter-in-law won’t let her see the grandkids, sparking internet debate.

    Image credits: GrandmDEA

    Grandparents have to face reality and acknowledge that it’s the parents who serve as gatekeepers to their grandchildren

    Grandparent alienation, as the pros call it, is actually becoming more common these days, especially with younger generations moving far away and living life on their own terms. To find out more about this topic, we’ve interviewed Dr. Joshua Coleman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, author and speaker.

    He told Bored Panda that, in most cases, grandparent alienation seems to come from conflicts between the parent and their adult child, rather than issues between the grandparent and grandchild. Many grandparents who experience alienation express that being separated from their grandchildren is often more distressing than being cut off from their adult child.

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    “Many were very close to the grandchildren before the alienation occurred and thus feel especially sad and confused. They also fear that they are being lied about to the grandchildren or poorly represented,” Dr. Coleman explained.

    We asked Dr. Coleman if there is anything grandparents can do to try to mend relationships when they feel alienated from their grandchildren. He suggested that the primary focus for grandparents should be to acknowledge that parents serve as the gatekeepers to their grandchildren.

    Elderly woman sitting on a couch, looking thoughtful and concerned about not seeing her grandkids.

    Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    It’s important to apologize to your child and their partner if you’ve been more than critical of their relationship in the past

    While there may be rare instances where an adult child allows contact with the grandchildren despite not engaging with the parent, this is not common. Therefore, grandparents need to concentrate on repairing their relationship with the adult child and accept any boundaries that have been set, even if they find them challenging.

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    We wanted to know what role in-laws and cultural differences play in grandparent alienation, and how families can navigate these challenges.

    Dr. Coleman told us that “A son-in-law or daughter-in-law may act as a kind of cult of one, alienating the adult child and the grandchildren from everyone. Thus, parents have to be careful not to criticize the son or daughter-in-law and to make amends if they have.”

    So, is the grandma being unreasonable here? We would like to know what you think of this story. Was the grandmother being a bit harsh, or is it time for her son and his family to step up their game? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

    Netizens say that the grandma should work on improving her relationship with her son and daughter-in-law, as her disapproval of her DIL is probably what caused the whole rift

    Screenshot of a forum discussion where a woman talks about seeing other grandchildren but not all siblings seeing each other.

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    Alt text: Online comments about woman complaining her daughter-in-law won’t let her see the grandkids with internet backlash.

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    Text message from SBHon advising to improve relationship with son to get closer to grandchildren, related to woman complaining about DIL.

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    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Read more »

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    Read less »
    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    What do you think ?
    lenka
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol. In one of her comments she says "we never EXPLICITLY called her anything". In other words, she has taken every oppertunity to imply and express implicitly that she thinks the DIL is a foreign gold digger. It doesnt take 24 hours to fly to any current war torn country from London so I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess that the 'war torn' country is in Africa or maybe Myanmar? So mother is a raging racist and son and DIL have rightly cut her out.

    V
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of course the DIL is a gold digger going after an older man, it's not that the son is a creep going after a young woman...

    Load More Replies...
    Zoe Vokes
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP is delusional. “My son didn’t invite us to the wedding. My son didn’t want to bring the children to visit,” and yet it all seems to be the wife’s fault. I don’t know why she described their house so much either. Okay it’s small but to say they got it below market rate from a colleague is purely to point out that they’re poorer than she approves of. And wife is supposedly a gold digging foreign bride but OP is saying that judgement should be forgiven and forgotten by the couple.

    KatSaidThat
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that she didn't understand that there are already 4 people living in a small 2 bed place means there really is no more room for another 2 adults... and yeah, the gold digger g*****e...

    Load More Replies...
    patricia patricia
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People find it difficult to understand that an apology doesn't erase the offence. You may feel sorry, but it's up to the offended person whether to forgive you or not. OP sounds so entitled! She seems to believe she everybody has to avoid doing what she doesn't like, just because she doesn't like it.

    Load More Comments
    lenka
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol. In one of her comments she says "we never EXPLICITLY called her anything". In other words, she has taken every oppertunity to imply and express implicitly that she thinks the DIL is a foreign gold digger. It doesnt take 24 hours to fly to any current war torn country from London so I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess that the 'war torn' country is in Africa or maybe Myanmar? So mother is a raging racist and son and DIL have rightly cut her out.

    V
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of course the DIL is a gold digger going after an older man, it's not that the son is a creep going after a young woman...

    Load More Replies...
    Zoe Vokes
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP is delusional. “My son didn’t invite us to the wedding. My son didn’t want to bring the children to visit,” and yet it all seems to be the wife’s fault. I don’t know why she described their house so much either. Okay it’s small but to say they got it below market rate from a colleague is purely to point out that they’re poorer than she approves of. And wife is supposedly a gold digging foreign bride but OP is saying that judgement should be forgiven and forgotten by the couple.

    KatSaidThat
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that she didn't understand that there are already 4 people living in a small 2 bed place means there really is no more room for another 2 adults... and yeah, the gold digger g*****e...

    Load More Replies...
    patricia patricia
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People find it difficult to understand that an apology doesn't erase the offence. You may feel sorry, but it's up to the offended person whether to forgive you or not. OP sounds so entitled! She seems to believe she everybody has to avoid doing what she doesn't like, just because she doesn't like it.

    Load More Comments
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