Someone Wanted To Know: “When Did You Realize Your Family Wasn’t Like Other Families?“, And 30 Delivered

When your parents teach you that everyone is welcome, that is worth more than every other measure of wealth.

Years ago, a woman wrote in to Readers Digest to tell a story about her kid, and his best friend. Mom was a single mom, recently divorced, she and her son were "on the wrong side of the tracks." When Son starts HS, he immediately befriends a boy whose parents have all the advantages--nice clothes, nice cars (Son had one of his own), nice house, the whole bit. "Wrong side" Mom wonders why Wealthy Kid wants to spend so much time at their place. One day, after Wealthy Kid leaves, Mom asks Son about it. "Well, Mom, it's like this. He has a lot of environment, but not much love. I have a lot of love, but not much environment." Mom never forgot that, and always treated Wealthy Kid like he was her own son.

I can't imagine how much different my life would be with that kind of family.

Awwwwww, this is so cute!

My Nan and Granddad were the same, I can remember vividly all the farm workers at the huge dinning room table at Breakfast, lunch and dinner and she would welcome reps and drivers in for tea and cakes or set another place at the table at meal times. Grandad was a Farm Manager but he was one of the men he would discuss different fields with workers who had lived their lives on the land and my Nan was always known as Nanny Beryl. Often meet friends today who reminisce she was a Nan to everyone she met.

These are the kinds of stories that keep me from protesting or commenting when people say they don't want to have kids, ever. Some may be afraid that the toxicity they survived might leak through. Some people just should not be parents. I didn't want or have kids myself and, in my 60s, still am sure it was the right decision.

Unfortunately, my alleged "counselor" in junior high (12-14 yo) managed, without much effort, to convince my emotionally abusive parents that *I* was the one who was "severely emotionally disturbed." I spent the first two years of HS in special education "because we'd (my alleged parents) really like to have you committed to a psych hospital, but we just can't afford it, so we're sending you to a private shrink instead, and he thinks you need to be in special ed." My mother (the primary emotional abuser) passed away two years ago. My father and brother no longer speak to me. NGL

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Me. Even tho I was a member of MENSA at 13, I was never good enough, never lived up to my potential, you name it. When I try to bring it up to my cousins, they tell me, "Oh, it didn't happen like that". They're right... it didn't happen like that to THEM.

When I was a child, I was physically, verbally and emotionally abuse. Not just at home but, at school as well. Because of this, I have no self-respect, no self-confidence and no self-esteem.

Not just stay at homes. I work a short(ish) car drive from home, Mrs Behave a long (ish) train ride. No matter how many times we told the school I was primary contact (in writing, recorded on our file) they would always contact mum first. Every time the answer from mum would be "who is primary contact? So call him...."

This needs to change…when it comes to parenting there should only be two things that are gender specific-breastfeeding and pregnancy. Everything else can be done by either parent. Same with housework. The only thing is when breastfeeding it’s easier for mom to just stay home (she can pump at work but it’s not the same, requires using bottles, and you can’t pump with the same frequency that a baby feeds which can be every 90 minutes the first 3 months). Besides that-no roles. My husband does everything that usually women do-diapers, cooking, cleaning, etc.

My husband went part time, Private Company Paramedic, and I was Fire Department Paramedic when we had our kids. My benefits, retirement and pay were better so he gladly accepted the stay home dad role. I don't know who it was toughest on but the fact that we raised our kids, not daycare, was a Blessing. I also retired when our aon started High School and our daughter was in middle school. That was the bonus I never anticipated. Not to say there weren't issues but to never miss a parent-teacher meeting, an open house, President of parent teacher club, sports and even coaching was the greatest gift for us and our kids.

My dad was one too. I mean he still stays at home, but now my mom does too. Oldies :D <3

My dad was an original Mr.Mom. We called him, not mom.

I'm in my early 40s now and living in the apartment under my parents. Every time I hear my dad yell I feel like I'm 10 years old again, although now I'm a lot braver. I tell him to stop shouting at my mom... I've had to get between them when he pushed her. I remember saying, "You want to push someone who weighs 100 lbs? Push ME. I f*****g dare you." Nothing. I also punched him in the jaw once when I was around 12 because he broke my Lego house on purpose. NEVER FORGET!

Sorry you had to go through that. I went through a similar childhood with my dad going off the wall at times. (Throwing the Thanksgiving table, with all the food on it, because he was pis-sed off at *something* is a fond memory) He acted alot like an alcoholic but didn't really drink. To this day, in my late 40s, I *still* cringe at sudden, loud noises of things crashing or breaking - stuff like that. Thanks Dad - really appreciate it. (not)

I can’t imagine… I had an odd opposite issue: my rents NEVER argued in front of me ONCE - therefore I didn’t learn about how to deal with confrontation at all. I’m an only child, and have had to deal with bully in different stages of my life bc I’m still a deer in headlights when I’m “stepped to.”

My sister and I would lay in our bunk beds when in 2nd and 3rd grade and listen to my parents fit and throw things. It was terrible.

Breaks mine a little, too.

My parents had 2 kids, boy and girl close in age range. There were very different rules for us and I still feel bitter about it. Brother got to sit around playing video games while I had to essentially be Cinderella. Gender roles are pointless. Please treat your kids equally because they'll only end up resenting you and each other.

My aunts would seemingly instinctively start clearing the table after a holiday family dinner and then sort out and wash things in the kitchen. I once asked my uncles why they didn't help, and they kind of rolled their eyes (I didn't help either, but I felt like I was taking a stand). We don't see those people anymore though because they are anti-vax Trump supporters who might have five brain cells between them, so......

My paternal grandfather died when my dad was 11. His mother (she was a mean one) made him do all the housework because, according to her, his younger sister was "too young" - 2 years younger than him! Finally when he was 14 or 15, he refused to do any housework. When he married my mom, he still refused to do housework, even when we kids were born - my mom's mother came to stay while mom was in the hospital. When mom was in the hospital for open heart surgery, after we were grown & gone, literally the only thing he did was wash 1 plate, 1 bowl, 1 cup, 1 pot, and 1 skillet - that's all he used for 3 weeks. After mom passed was the only time I saw him ever do any other housework, and it sure wasn't the best. You can bet I taught my son to do all the household chores!!!

One of my proudest moments was when my son came over and asked to use my sewing kit. He needed to fix the seam on his jacket. He didn't ask ME to do it for him, because I taught him to sew when he was 10, and he sat there doing it himself. Perfectly.

My mom made us take turns doing dishes, talking out trash, dusting etc. 2 girls and 1 boy

I'm reminded of the guy, a social worker, who kept a little replica of the Mr. Rogers trolley car on his desk. He'd been abused by his mother as a child. One day, he's watching Mr. Rogers, and Mr. Rogers looks right into the camera, seemingly right at the abused boy, and says, "Remember--I love you just for being you!" That was the first time the boy had ever heard anything like that. I forget how/where he got the trolley toy, but anytime his mother was abusive to him after that, he'd clutch the toy in his pocket, and remind himself of what Mr. Rogers had said. He finally grew up, got out, and became a social worker so he could help other abused children. When he'd meet a new client, he'd take the trolley out of his pocket, clasp it in the child's hand, look the child right in the eye, and say, "Remember--I love you just for being you!" Hits me right in the feels every damn time <3

I know this is an old expression, but, WHAT THE ABSOLUTE F**K!! Also, I'm not some softy. I'm a USMC combat vet, with an awesome gay son and son in law, and two great daughters. I'm known for not being the most compassionate person, but how abhorrent of a parent must u be for your child to think they have to hide from u? F**K YOU!

Oh my god, i am so sorry you had to go through this. One of my biggest joys in the world is when I come home (eventhough I was gone for an hour ) and my little munchkins come running and jump on me.

Yep, as soon as I heard the car I'd run and hide in my room.

I hope you’ve recovered a bit from that awful childhood. 💜

In the early 90s, it was still “acceptable” to use the words “r****d/r******d” and “gay” for things we didn’t like. We kids usually would say “well, that’s gay” with gay meaning “lame” or “stupid”. My best friend came out to me when we were 13 or so, and I learned to be a better person and stop using words that will hurt others. It’s a lesson my mother STILL hasn’t learned. Your nosehairs would curl in horror if I told you some of the slurs she still uses, despite my best efforts to make her care how she makes other people feel… (she doesn’t give a fig)

I remember, as a newlywed in the early 90's, being so nervous about asking my husband's maternal grandmother not to refer to black people as "N"-word or as stereotypes and asking why she thought that was still ok to do. Mind you, I was asking this as diffidently as possible because I wasn't sure if it was my place to ask her these things and didn't want to cause a problem. I just wanted her to think about why she did it. She did actually tone it down a little when I was around after that. (we were/are both white. I mean really, really white, as in "don't go out in the sun we burn" white)

whenever I hear someone say 'black person' instead of 'poc' like I always wonder. is that socially acceptable, or? [I'm not, btw. a poc. So I understand that I don't fully get it.].

This is how children learn. Sadly this should have been learned at home..

If Family Matters or Fresh Prince was on, the channel would get changed because "we're not watching those N***** shows". I'm only 42.

My parents did not talk to me twice for one year each. After the first phase, I did not consider them as my family anymore. I understood that I had no value to them. Especially my mother had always treated me as a burden. Then I moved away and declined their advances. I really do not understand why they would approach me at all after they treated my like thin air for such a long time.