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Father Forgot About His Daughter’s Existence After Her Half-Brother Got Cancer, More Than A Decade Later Tries To Reconnect With Her, But She Shuts Him Down
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Father Forgot About His Daughter’s Existence After Her Half-Brother Got Cancer, More Than A Decade Later Tries To Reconnect With Her, But She Shuts Him Down

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Family relationships are complex. But even more so when there is a fall out or misfortune happens. The aftermath might require professional help to alleviate dealing with it, especially in cases of a loved one’s death. A grief-stricken family has to overcome numerous obstacles to restore some level of stability in their lives. But in certain cases, the change in the relationships is irreversible.

A young woman on Reddit opened up about such an instance. She shared her experience with loss and her terminated relationship with a family member, seeking perspective from the r/AITA community. Under the username u/throwaway_1028585, she described her life after the death of her mother.

She stated that within a few years, her father remarried. That drastically changed the family dynamics. The stepmom pushed too hard on playing the mother’s role, and the dad did not preclude it. Things took a turn for even worse when the newly assembled household endured another loss.

Image credits: Eric Ward (not the actual photo)

The redditor opened up about how she fell out with her father and how she reacted to him trying to restore the relationship

Image credits:  Marcos Paulo Prado (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Christin Hume (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: throwaway_1028585

People in the comments had different opinions and lots of thoughts to share

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awdudeno avatar
Jane Doe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did he contact OP when her brother died? Nope. He contacted her when he was getting a divorce and didn’t have anyone.

emilystevens_2 avatar
gotham-panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This, completely. His reaching out was as selfish as anything else he did regarding her. She even had to find out secondhand her brother was dead. He couldn't even be bothered to invite her to the funeral. But when *he* needed solace, he expected her to provide it.

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kristelho avatar
Kris92
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who also have an egotistical, self-centered "father" I can completely understand OPs view and feelings towards their father. It's heartbreaking how long and how far these people can push your limits and STILL expect you to treat them with respect and love simply because they're half of the reason you exists. That's not how it works. You get what you give. And to the peanut gallery that shames OP not only for the PowerPoint, but cutting their dad off: did this hit too close to home? Hmm? Is the mirror too accurate for you? YOU grow up. And start realising that no one owes you anything.

kristelho avatar
Kris92
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

* OP is NTA. Good on you for keeping that log and doing the PowerPoint presentation. Wish I could do something similar to my dad, because he STILL doesn't get it. Even though we (me and my brother) NEVER call, text or visit.

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ednygma avatar
Nathanael aka the American one
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

gillandbella avatar
Gillbella
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

May I tell you a secret about Mum-love? It never goes away. Every little bit of warmth from your mum's hugs, every breath of air as she kissed you- they all still exist in the universe. Love is shown by actions, and actions are energy. Energy cannot be destroyed. Keep your chin up kiddo x

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awdudeno avatar
Jane Doe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did he contact OP when her brother died? Nope. He contacted her when he was getting a divorce and didn’t have anyone.

emilystevens_2 avatar
gotham-panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This, completely. His reaching out was as selfish as anything else he did regarding her. She even had to find out secondhand her brother was dead. He couldn't even be bothered to invite her to the funeral. But when *he* needed solace, he expected her to provide it.

Load More Replies...
kristelho avatar
Kris92
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who also have an egotistical, self-centered "father" I can completely understand OPs view and feelings towards their father. It's heartbreaking how long and how far these people can push your limits and STILL expect you to treat them with respect and love simply because they're half of the reason you exists. That's not how it works. You get what you give. And to the peanut gallery that shames OP not only for the PowerPoint, but cutting their dad off: did this hit too close to home? Hmm? Is the mirror too accurate for you? YOU grow up. And start realising that no one owes you anything.

kristelho avatar
Kris92
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

* OP is NTA. Good on you for keeping that log and doing the PowerPoint presentation. Wish I could do something similar to my dad, because he STILL doesn't get it. Even though we (me and my brother) NEVER call, text or visit.

Load More Replies...
ednygma avatar
Nathanael aka the American one
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

gillandbella avatar
Gillbella
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

May I tell you a secret about Mum-love? It never goes away. Every little bit of warmth from your mum's hugs, every breath of air as she kissed you- they all still exist in the universe. Love is shown by actions, and actions are energy. Energy cannot be destroyed. Keep your chin up kiddo x

Load More Replies...
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