Family Wants To Move For Better Opportunities, Wife Stunned When MIL Creates A Drama Out Of It

Let’s be real: mothers-in-law get a bad rap, but sometimes they really do deserve it. Whether they’re being overbearing, stomping all over your boundaries, or not-so-subtly hinting that their child could have done better, they can be a bit… extra.

One woman turned to an online community to vent after her mother-in-law accused her of “destroying” her relationship with her son and grandkid because she and her husband want to move cities for better jobs. Now the old woman is begging them to stay.    

More info: Mumsnet

Mothers-in-law don’t have the best reputation, and the endless punchlines about them prove it

Young child reading a book while mother relaxes on bed, illustrating family dynamics in a couple's move for DIL job.

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

One woman, stuck living 4 hours outside Stockholm with a boring job, was thrilled when her husband suggested moving back to the city

Couple plans to move to the city for daughter-in-law's job while mother-in-law accuses her of stealing her son.

Text excerpt from a story about a couple planning to move to the city for DIL's job amid MIL accusing her of stealing her son.

Text discussing a couple planning to move to the city for DIL's job, while MIL accuses her of stealing her son.

Text on a white background stating I was also bored out of my mind at my job and wanted something more challenging.

Text showing a person excited about a job offer in their specialization with double the current pay in Stockholm city.

Text snippet about couple planning to move to the city for daughter-in-law’s job amid mother-in-law’s accusations.

Young woman yawning at a wooden desk, appearing tired and stressed about plans to move for DIL’s job conflict.

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Things got even more exciting when she got offered a great job in Stockholm that pays twice her usual salary

Upset mother-in-law accuses daughter-in-law of stealing son as couple plans to move to the city for her job.

Text describing a father-in-law’s busy plumbing business and mother-in-law’s concerns about her son in a family conflict.

Text displaying a family conflict where MIL accuses daughter-in-law of stealing her son amid plans to move to the city.

Text post with a family discussion about a couple planning to move for daughter's job amid tension with mother-in-law accusing her of stealing son.

Couple discussing plans to move to the city for daughter-in-law’s job amid accusations from mother-in-law.

Couple plans to move to the city for daughter-in-law’s job as mother-in-law accuses her of stealing her son.

Older woman wearing glasses and a blue sweater looking thoughtful and concerned while sitting indoors at home.

Image credits: faststocklv / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The couple planned to move back to her family home, but when they told her husband’s mom about it, she ranted that the move would ruin her relationship with her son and grandkid

Couple plans to move to the city for DIL's job while MIL accuses daughter-in-law of stealing her son.

Couple plans to move to the city for DIL’s job amid MIL accusing her of stealing her son and family conflict.

MIL accuses daughter-in-law of stealing son as couple plans to move to city for DIL’s new job opportunity.

Couple plans move to city for DIL's job as MIL accuses daughter-in-law of stealing her son in family dispute.

Couple plans to move to the city for DIL's job while MIL accuses her of stealing her son.

Text message discussing constant need to ask husband's opinion, highlighting tension in couple planning city move for DIL's job.

Image credits: ItsTimeToFly

After the elderly woman literally begged them to stay, tears and all, the woman turned to an online community to share her frustration

When the original poster (OP) landed a dream job in Stockholm (double the salary and right in her field), she and her husband were thrilled. They’d been living four hours away in a small town with no opportunities, and the plan was simple: move into OP’s old (but empty) family home, start fresh, and give their daughter a better future.

There was, however, one massive roadblock. Her mother-in-law. She’s 61, fiercely attached to her son, and has grown dependent on him for emotional support. We’re not talking normal communication, more like calling him daily for tiny decisions, from picking an IKEA side table to choosing the right time slot for a dentist appointment.

When the couple shared their moving plans, she completely unraveled. She cried, begged, and insisted OP was “destroying her relationship” with her son and granddaughter. OP’s husband tried to calm her down, but every boundary collapsed the moment tears appeared. OP started to worry. Would this emotional blackmail end up sabotaging their future?

Even when the couple traveled abroad for a vacation, her mother-in-law called incessantly about the most arbitrary things. She refuses to problem-solve or make basic decisions on her own, and her son caves every time, afraid of upsetting her. Frustrated, OP is now left wondering if going through with the move makes her unreasonable.

Young woman in blue sweater looking worried while sitting on a couch, reflecting on couple plans and family conflict over son.

Image credits: SkelDry / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Here’s the thing: going after a better life, not just for you, but for your kids, doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you a responsible partner and parent. After all, opportunities like the one OP wants to pursue don’t come along all that often. So, how can the couple get out from underneath the husband’s problematic parent? We went looking for answers. 

In her article for PsychCentral, Marissa Moore writes that dealing with a guilt-tripping parent can not only be exhausting, but it can also challenge your overall mental health. Some signs of a guilt-tripping parent to look out for include passive-aggressive behavior, constant reminders about your past mistakes, and disagreement with most of your decisions.

When you’re dealing with parents who resort to guilt-tripping, it may be hard to know how to cope, but you can start with setting clear and firm boundaries, validating their feelings (without compromising yourself or your boundaries), or, if all else fails, getting the help of a family therapist – they’ve seen this all before. 

Well, OP’s already signed the contract and her mind (if not her husband’s, yet) seems made up. So, how can her mother-in-law cope with the inevitable change? According to NHS Talking Therapies, learning to accept what has happened and focusing on adapting to new circumstances is key to dealing with life’s curveballs. Finding healthy coping mechanisms, focusing on the present, and having a routine can work wonders too.

We reckon it’s time OP’s mother-in-law learned to stand on her own two feet instead of standing in the way of her family’s dreams. Perhaps not having her son to lean on for every little thing will force her to start solving her own problems for a change.

What do you think? Should OP put her foot down and tell her husband to stop being such a mama’s boy, or give up their shot at a new life? Share your thoughts in the comments!

In the comments, readers urged the original poster to put her family first and blasted her mother-in-law for being so selfish

Comment about couple planning city move for daughter-in-law’s job, mother-in-law accusing her of stealing her son.

Comment advising a couple to prioritize their future and ignore mother-in-law's accusations about moving for daughter-in-law's job.

Comment about couple plans to move to the city while mother-in-law accuses daughter-in-law of stealing son.

Comment discussing a mother-in-law needing to let go of her son as couple plans to move to city for DIL's job.

MIL accuses daughter-in-law of stealing son as couple plans to move to city for her job opportunity.

Text comment about a mother-in-law accusing daughter-in-law amid couple's plans to move city for her job.

Comment about couple's plans to move to the city for daughter-in-law’s job and mother-in-law accusing her of stealing son.

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