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“It’s Frankly Embarrassing”: Woman Confronts Mom About Their Ancestry After Taking A DNA Test
Retracing your family history can be pretty exciting, as it often reveals something you never knew before. It can also prove something you did know to be false.
That’s what happened to redditor u/Sad_Personality_7881 when she did a deep dive into her family’s background. With the help of several genealogy companies, she found out that her family members are 99.9% European, with no Native American ancestry. However, her mother was not convinced about having no such heritage. Scroll down for the full story as shared with the AITA community.
RELATED:
Delving deeper into your family history can unveil surprising information
Image credits: Leon Brocard (not the actual photo)
This woman tried proving her mother wrong about having Native American ancestry
Image credits: StudioPeace (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Sad_Personality_7881
Millions of people worldwide are interested in genetic ancestry testing
Thanks to advanced technology in genealogy, nowadays, we can learn more about our family history dating as far as hundreds of years back. Even though we might have heard a thing or two about it from the elders in the family, certain companies can provide more details by browsing huge genealogical, historical, and related databases. According to a 2020 study, over 26 million people worldwide have turned to such companies for genetic ancestry testing.
Such testing is carried out using genetic data that allows researchers to estimate the geographic origins of a person’s recent ancestors. The study revealed how it works by detailing that ancestry testing involves comparing a large number of DNA variants in an individual with frequencies of such DNA variants in reference populations sampled from different parts of the world. The region where the individual DNA variant boasts its highest frequency is considered to be the most likely location of the tested person’s ancestor.
This way, people can not only learn more about where they come from, but find relatives as well. A survey by YouGov revealed that out of the people interested in taking such a test, 80% say they’d like to do it to learn more about where their family comes from and roughly 50% would like to connect with relatives they didn’t know they have.
Image credits: Pelle Sten (not the actual photo)
Even though people are curious to try such testing, they have concerns about it as well
Another study, carried out by Ipsos in 2021, unveiled that the majority of Americans think it’s important to know your family’s history. As many as seven out of ten believe so, with the older generations emphasizing it more. According to the survey, 76% of representatives of GenX think it’s important to be familiar with your family’s background, compared to 70% of Baby Boomers, 66% of Millennials, and 65% of Gen Z.
Even though people are eager to learn more about their ancestry—with genealogical curiosity being the main driving force behind it—they also have privacy concerns. According to NPR, nearly 50% of people whose family or they themselves have undergone genetic ancestry testing admit to having similar worries.
CNBC pointed out that with a growing interest in such testing and somewhat easy access to it—some kits sell for under 60 dollars, and there are millions of them sold every year—privacy concerns are not baseless. It suggested that the growth of DNA databases “has made it possible to trace the relationships between nearly all Americans, including those who never purchased a test.”
According to CNBC, Ancestry and 23andMe—two of the three companies the OP turned to—are “the two main players in the genetic and ancestry testing business, with Ancestry collecting 14 million DNA samples as of Jan. 1 and 23andMe collecting 9 million samples. The other companies reported a combined total of 3.5 million samples collected.”
Another concern related to genetic ancestry testing is its accuracy, which made some redditors consider everyone in the situation a jerk to some extent. In the comments, Reddit users pointed out that before judging the mother’s beliefs, it’s important to understand the way genetic testing works and pay attention to the notes or any additional information the companies provide.
Image credits: August de Richelieu (not the actual photo)
Some people in the comments didn’t consider the OP a jerk
Others believed everyone was somewhat at fault in the situation
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Andy 2 years ago (edited)
Not an ahole, but you need to be careful when taking these tests as 100% accurate. They are not tracing your ancestry as much as looking at your genetic markers, and then comparing that to the markers of other people to identify where there are clusters. This can be massively impacted by how large their samples are in a particular area, and also historic population movements. Plus, you do not inherit genes from all your ancestors, you get a chunk from each parent, which is a mixed chunk of each of their parents and so on. Go back 10 generations and there will be ancestors who you inherit no DNA from. Perfectly possible the great grandmother was making it up, or maybe did believe it, but as long as the mother is just enjoying having that as part of her heritage and not trying to exploit it, what's the harm.
Marina Falkener 2 years ago
I’m always skeptical when people claim their dna test show ‘Viking’ ancestry. Vikings weren’t a ‘genetic’ group but small bands of bandits cruising around Europe (and North America, the Middle East, North Africa, …) about a thousand years ago. Actual Vikings could be African, middle eastern, from southern Europe, Eastern Europe, whatever. The ‘pure Viking dna’ blather is just a white supremacist fantasy fiction thing.
Load More Replies...
howdylee 2 years ago
My family has Abenaki ancestors, my aunt went through the process of getting recognized with the tribe, no genetic testing needed :) See, not everyone claims Cherokee!
Lizzie Lola 2 years ago
My paternal great-great grandmother left the northern NY Mohawk res to marry a newly emigrated Irishman. My maternal grandmother was a DC aristocrat and VERY proud of being a Mayflower descendant. When my dad met her, she made a big show of her family tree. My dad said "That's great. My family was already here."
Load More Replies...
kansasmagic 2 years ago
I grew up with stories of the half-Cherokee great (or great-great) grandma. My grandma was from Oklahoma, so it's not impossible, but no one on that side of the family has any Native American ancestry. My first report however showed a big % of Czech. I pointed this out to my dad, who said "oh yeah, that was from a branch of the family that came from Bohemia." Literally no one had ever mentioned the Bohemian branch of the family before! So I lost the Native American ancestor but gained a Czech. Whatever, I'm just an American mutt now. It's bizarre how big a deal people will make over their 2% this and that.
Desiree Meredith 2 years ago
Same story here. Great grandmother half Cherokee -- it's always Cherokee. I was tested and it came back with zero N. American blood. My husband's, who is Navajo (Diné), came back with surprise, surprise 98% N. American blood. The other 2% was Germanic, which checks out given the stories that were passed down.
Load More Replies...
Joshua David 2 years ago
No one in my family will do a DNA test kit. The men of the family were liars and cheaters so all of us kids banded together and vowed never to do these. Were scared there may be multiple children fathered out there that may come knocking. We have our own issues and problems and can't imagine adding that to our lists. Never know who may show up. Not to mention any possible crimes they may have committed lol.
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
If you never knew these people, how would you owe them anything, unless they were your kids specifically? And what would their crimes have to do with you?
Load More Replies... Christos Arvanitis 2 years ago
In the US, there are a lot of people who can trace their lineage back to the Mayflower. Lots of those people claim Native American heritage and some of it is just family lore and some of it is legitimate. But I know lots of people in New England who claim it proudly, be it accurate or not. It isn't done with malice but rather pride usually. And, as others have said, the DNA tests aren't always accurate.
Tee Rat 2 years ago
Four of my friends are Omaha and their response to somebody saying they were native was, "Let me guess, you're 1/32nd Cherokee?" The Cherokee name must have been used a lot in old westerns and books.
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
Maybe it's partly because the Cherokee still have a strong presence, not only in Oklahoma but back east, too, so they seem like a "tough" tribe for holding out so well. And who wouldn't want to be associated with a Cher song?
Load More Replies...
René Sauer 2 years ago
Well, OP wrote they are only 99.9% European. Maybe that other .1% is the native part? 🤣
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago (edited)
I recommend you check out what Henry Louis Gates has to say about family legends of Native American ancestry. He talks about how common it is and how people truly believe it. People’s family lore go from “looks like an Indian” to “had Native American ancestry”. It’s a thing and your mother is very typical, I’ve seen it in my own family. No need to be unkind to her.
Mister Jaxon 2 years ago
A DNA test is not the be-all and end-all some people believe. You may, in fact, have an American Indian ancestor without his or her genes being represented in your DNA. My DNA shows the Scandinavian and eastern European ancestry I anticipated. My mother's test indicated she was 10% Italian. My test showed no Italian ancestry at all. The genetic sites that held her Italian heritage didn't get down to me; I got the genes for those particular sites from my father. DNA is interesting and informative, but does not replace the old fashioned hard work of digging into records and finding documentation. Your mother may be right or she may be wrong, but in neither case should this lead to familial upheaval. Show this to her. Neither of you are an a*s-hole.
Andy 2 years ago (edited)
Not an ahole, but you need to be careful when taking these tests as 100% accurate. They are not tracing your ancestry as much as looking at your genetic markers, and then comparing that to the markers of other people to identify where there are clusters. This can be massively impacted by how large their samples are in a particular area, and also historic population movements. Plus, you do not inherit genes from all your ancestors, you get a chunk from each parent, which is a mixed chunk of each of their parents and so on. Go back 10 generations and there will be ancestors who you inherit no DNA from. Perfectly possible the great grandmother was making it up, or maybe did believe it, but as long as the mother is just enjoying having that as part of her heritage and not trying to exploit it, what's the harm.
Marina Falkener 2 years ago
I’m always skeptical when people claim their dna test show ‘Viking’ ancestry. Vikings weren’t a ‘genetic’ group but small bands of bandits cruising around Europe (and North America, the Middle East, North Africa, …) about a thousand years ago. Actual Vikings could be African, middle eastern, from southern Europe, Eastern Europe, whatever. The ‘pure Viking dna’ blather is just a white supremacist fantasy fiction thing.
Load More Replies... howdylee 2 years ago
My family has Abenaki ancestors, my aunt went through the process of getting recognized with the tribe, no genetic testing needed :) See, not everyone claims Cherokee!
Lizzie Lola 2 years ago
My paternal great-great grandmother left the northern NY Mohawk res to marry a newly emigrated Irishman. My maternal grandmother was a DC aristocrat and VERY proud of being a Mayflower descendant. When my dad met her, she made a big show of her family tree. My dad said "That's great. My family was already here."
Load More Replies... kansasmagic 2 years ago
I grew up with stories of the half-Cherokee great (or great-great) grandma. My grandma was from Oklahoma, so it's not impossible, but no one on that side of the family has any Native American ancestry. My first report however showed a big % of Czech. I pointed this out to my dad, who said "oh yeah, that was from a branch of the family that came from Bohemia." Literally no one had ever mentioned the Bohemian branch of the family before! So I lost the Native American ancestor but gained a Czech. Whatever, I'm just an American mutt now. It's bizarre how big a deal people will make over their 2% this and that.
Desiree Meredith 2 years ago
Same story here. Great grandmother half Cherokee -- it's always Cherokee. I was tested and it came back with zero N. American blood. My husband's, who is Navajo (Diné), came back with surprise, surprise 98% N. American blood. The other 2% was Germanic, which checks out given the stories that were passed down.
Load More Replies... Joshua David 2 years ago
No one in my family will do a DNA test kit. The men of the family were liars and cheaters so all of us kids banded together and vowed never to do these. Were scared there may be multiple children fathered out there that may come knocking. We have our own issues and problems and can't imagine adding that to our lists. Never know who may show up. Not to mention any possible crimes they may have committed lol.
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
If you never knew these people, how would you owe them anything, unless they were your kids specifically? And what would their crimes have to do with you?
Load More Replies... Christos Arvanitis 2 years ago
In the US, there are a lot of people who can trace their lineage back to the Mayflower. Lots of those people claim Native American heritage and some of it is just family lore and some of it is legitimate. But I know lots of people in New England who claim it proudly, be it accurate or not. It isn't done with malice but rather pride usually. And, as others have said, the DNA tests aren't always accurate.
Tee Rat 2 years ago
Four of my friends are Omaha and their response to somebody saying they were native was, "Let me guess, you're 1/32nd Cherokee?" The Cherokee name must have been used a lot in old westerns and books.
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
Maybe it's partly because the Cherokee still have a strong presence, not only in Oklahoma but back east, too, so they seem like a "tough" tribe for holding out so well. And who wouldn't want to be associated with a Cher song?
Load More Replies... René Sauer 2 years ago
Well, OP wrote they are only 99.9% European. Maybe that other .1% is the native part? 🤣
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago (edited)
I recommend you check out what Henry Louis Gates has to say about family legends of Native American ancestry. He talks about how common it is and how people truly believe it. People’s family lore go from “looks like an Indian” to “had Native American ancestry”. It’s a thing and your mother is very typical, I’ve seen it in my own family. No need to be unkind to her.
Mister Jaxon 2 years ago
A DNA test is not the be-all and end-all some people believe. You may, in fact, have an American Indian ancestor without his or her genes being represented in your DNA. My DNA shows the Scandinavian and eastern European ancestry I anticipated. My mother's test indicated she was 10% Italian. My test showed no Italian ancestry at all. The genetic sites that held her Italian heritage didn't get down to me; I got the genes for those particular sites from my father. DNA is interesting and informative, but does not replace the old fashioned hard work of digging into records and finding documentation. Your mother may be right or she may be wrong, but in neither case should this lead to familial upheaval. Show this to her. Neither of you are an a*s-hole.
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