Guy Exchanges Random Goods For Meals At Restaurants, Does The Same On A Date, Expects Compensation

When it comes to dating, there’s not a lot worse than going on a first date with a cheapskate. First impressions count, and skimping and scrimping to save a buck is far from attractive. Some might even call it downright despicable.

One woman went on a date with a guy who not only kept her waiting, but then had the nerve to ask her to pay him back for the meal when she told him there wasn’t going to be a second date. She refused, especially since he didn’t pay a dime for it in the first place, but now she’s wondering if that makes her a jerk.

More info: Reddit

You only get one chance to make a good first impression, and this woman’s date blew it – twice

Couple holding hands over dinner table on first date, woman expressing no spark while man reacts demanding meal payment.

Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)

First, he left her waiting alone at the table, then he didn’t order for half an hour, leaving her to politely sip her lonely glass of water

Woman tells guy there’s no spark after first date, he demands she pay for free meal he got.

Woman tells guy there’s no spark after first date while he demands she pay for meal he got free.

Man smiling while unpacking a cardboard box at home, representing a first date interaction with no spark and meal payment issue.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

As they chatted, her date revealed that he trades stuff for free food at the restaurant they were eating at

Text excerpt describing a woman’s first date where the guy trades goods for free meals at the restaurant.

Text explaining meal cost difference in a scenario where a woman tells guy no spark after first date and dispute over payment occurs.

Text excerpt about woman telling guy there's no spark after first date and meal trade decision.

Two men shaking hands at a cafe table with coffee, illustrating a tense first date interaction without a romantic spark.

Image credits: yakobchuk / Freepik (not the actual photo)

When he texted her the next day, she let him know that she didn’t really feel a spark and they wouldn’t be going on a second date

Man demands woman pays for meal after first date sparks no romantic connection conversation.

Text excerpt discussing a woman refusing to pay for a meal after a first date with no spark and a man demanding payment.

Woman telling guy there's no spark after first date, while he demands payment for his free meal.

Image credits: SubjectDrifter

That’s when the guy demanded she pay him back for the free meal, something she refused to do, but she went online to ask if that makes her a jerk

OP went on a first date at a restaurant her date chose. When they met in the parking lot, he was holding a box – turns out, it wasn’t a gift or surprise, just ink cartridges. He said it was “work stuff,” then left her alone at the table for 15 awkward minutes.

When he returned, they chatted for a while. So long, in fact, they didn’t order for 30 more minutes. OP tried to stay polite, even though she was sipping only water for nearly an hour. Then came the big reveal: he barters with the restaurant. No money changes hands; just ink for entrées.

The food finally arrived, but by then the spark was nowhere in sight. The vibe was off, and OP knew they weren’t a match. The next day, she texted him politely to say thanks, but no second date. That’s when the real drama began: he asked her to pay him for her half of the meal.

His argument? If a woman decides there’s no future, she should cover her portion, even if the guy didn’t pay a dime for it himself. OP was baffled. No bill, no spark, no chemistry… and apparently, no shame. Now she’s left wondering if she’s a jerk for refusing him.

Man holding wallet with cash, relating to woman telling guy no spark after first date and payment demand.

Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik(not the actual photo)

As far as dates go, we’re thinking OP’s experience ranks close to zero. If you’ve ever had a horrendous first date, you can probably relate. Just what is the etiquette when it comes to first dates, though? We went looking for answers.

In her article for Style Girlfriend, Lizzie Thompson suggests some do’s for guys going on a first date, including showing up on time (or even a little early), doing your research (don’t take a vegan to a steakhouse), using your date’s name fairly frequently, and asking your date questions (instead of making it all about you). 

In her article for Mamamia, Emily Vernem recommends a few rules for first dates, including meeting in a public place, letting at least one other person know about the date, getting to the date first, not agreeing to dinner, and always expecting to pay.

In her article for The Knot, Heather Bien writes that it’s inevitable that you’ll encounter awkward silences at some point in your dating career, so conversation ideas are always helpful to have on hand. 

“While you don’t want to script the entire date, having a few conversation topics in mind can help keep the discussion flowing smoothly,” explains psychologist Dr. Deborah Gilman.

We’re sure you’ll agree that OP dodged a bullet. She’d probably do well to be pickier when it comes to first dates and perhaps suggest a coffee in future. That way, if the chemistry’s not there, she can at least beat a hasty retreat.

What would you have done if you’d found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think her date is way out of line asking her to cover half of a meal he didn’t even pay for? Let us know your opinion in the comments!

In the comments, readers agreed that the woman made a smart move by calling it quits and doesn’t owe the greedy guy a dime for what was a lousy date anyway

Screenshot of an online discussion about a woman telling a guy there’s no spark after first date and his reaction.

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation discussing a woman telling a guy there’s no spark after a free meal date.

Online conversation about a woman telling a guy no spark after first date and him demanding payment for meal.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a rude guy demanding payment after a woman says there’s no spark on a first date.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment questioning a man who demands payment after a free meal on a first date with no spark.

Comment explaining no bill was given and man demands payment after first date, reflecting no spark and meal dispute.

Screenshot of a social media comment about a woman telling a guy there’s no spark after first date and meal dispute.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing a woman telling a guy there's no spark after first date and meal payment conflict.

Comment discussing woman telling guy no spark after first date and him demanding payment for free meal.

Comment discussing a woman telling a guy there’s no spark after a first date and him demanding payment for a free meal.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman telling a guy there’s no spark after first date and meal payment dispute.

Screenshot of online comment about a woman telling a guy there’s no spark after first date and meal payment conflict.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing a woman telling a guy there’s no spark after first date.

Text comment about keeping first dates to coffee or happy hour to avoid paying for meals on awkward dates.

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