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Woman Tries To Enforce Her Family Rules On BF’s Son When He Doesn’t Even Live With Them
Frustrated woman at home trying to enforce family rules on boyfriendu2019s son who doesn't live with them

Woman Tries To Enforce Her Family Rules On BF’s Son When He Doesn’t Even Live With Them

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Every stepparent desires closeness with their stepchildren. However, imposing oneself to get there might be the worst thing anyone can do. It leads to no good outcome. 

That chaotic situation happened to this teenage boy, who had to deal with his dad’s domineering girlfriend. The woman wanted to take on the role of a parent so badly that she demanded the respect a mother deserved. 

The boy was rightfully upset and moved out of their shared home, which prompted division within the family

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    Trying to impose oneself on someone’s life never ends well

    Middle-aged man and teenage boy smiling and embracing, illustrating family dynamics with boyfriend’s son at home.

    Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik (not the actual photo)

    A teenage boy was forced to move in with his grandparents after growing tired of his dad’s domineering girlfriend

    Teen refuses to follow family rules set by dad’s girlfriend while staying with grandparents instead of dad’s home.

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    Text on white background reading My dad and grandparents had the same household rules and I never had an issue with them about family rules enforcement.

    Boy shares experience of woman trying to enforce family rules on boyfriend’s son who doesn’t live with them.

    Teen boy explains refusing to follow woman’s family rules and choosing to live with grandparents instead.

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    Teen explains living with grandparents while woman tries to enforce family rules on boyfriend’s son who doesn’t live with them.

    Frustrated woman at home trying to enforce family rules on boyfriend’s son who doesn’t live with them.

    Image credits: user25451090 / freepik (not the actual photo)

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    His decision sparked division in the family, as he now wonders whether what he did was wrong

    Text excerpt discussing family rules and obligations related to planned family time and helping with a family move.

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    Text post discussing a woman trying to enforce family rules on her boyfriend’s son who lives separately.

    Image credits:

    Forcing a connection within a blended family isn’t the best idea

    Woman enforcing family rules on boyfriend’s son who does not live with them, both appearing frustrated in kitchen.

    Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

    Based on the teen’s account, it appears that his dad may have forced him to build a parental connection with the girlfriend. As expected, it only created tension and likely resentment that they could have avoided in the first place. 

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    Blended families may face challenges due to unrealistic expectations, which the dad seemed to have. The lack of negotiation skills is also a source of tension, especially when someone imposes their rules. 

    The lack of clarity in the roles can also lead to problems, according to marriage and family therapist April Eldemire. She says expectations about what discipline looks like and how involved the stepparent must be are among the top sources of conflict. 

    “Let’s start here: Ambiguity breeds resentment,” Eldemire wrote. 

    Entering a family with kids in their teen years can be more challenging, according to the American Psychological Association. Therefore, a gentler approach is a must. 

    “Stepparents should at first establish a relationship with the children that is more akin to a friend or ‘camp counselor,’ rather than a disciplinarian,” an excerpt from the article reads, also noting that new stepparents can only monitor the child’s behavior and keep their spouses informed. 

    The dad’s girlfriend clearly overstepped her boundaries, and the least she could do is avoid causing such conflict. She was out of line for faulting the child, who was only doing what he could to protect his peace. 

    People in the comments had mixed reactions

    Screenshot of a Reddit conversation discussing a woman trying to enforce family rules on her boyfriend’s son who does not live with them.

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    Woman tries to enforce family rules on boyfriend’s son who does not live with them, causing conflict in blended family.

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    Woman tries to enforce her family rules on boyfriend’s son who does not live with them causing conflict.

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    Reddit comment advising to block woman’s messages affecting mental health in family rules conflict with boyfriend’s son.

    Comment advising to only take calls with grandparents present and speakerphone on to avoid misunderstandings about family rules.

    Comment about woman trying to enforce family rules on boyfriend’s son who doesn’t live with them in a relationship conflict.

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    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing family rules and challenges when enforcing them on a boyfriend’s son not living with them.

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

    What do you think ?
    Robyn Hill
    Community Member
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The YTAs are crazy as usual. She’s just his dad’s girlfriend. She’s not family to him in any way. And those rules? They’re insane, especially for a teenager. He wouldn’t even be able to have an after school job, do sports, or have friends. She can shove her stupid rules. They’re not about “bringing family together.” They’re about controlling everyone.

    Ashtophet’sRevenge
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My thoughts exactly, what family? “You are my father’s girlfriend, and I am not a source of free labor.”

    Load More Replies...
    Drop Bear from Hell
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those rules were coco bananas - ESPECIALLY for a 17yo. OMFG 🙄

    MoMcB
    Community Member
    5 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bedtime 8.30! Her own kids will run when they can.

    Load More Replies...
    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    7 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good GAWD. I thought my mom was unreasonable. This lady's rules are a dictatorship. The 17 year old has a job, so some of her insane curfews and requirements wouldn't work out, anyways. What does she expect him to do? Tell his boss "Sorry, my dad's girlfriend says I have to be home, in bed by 8:30 and I have to tend to everything she asks me to do for her." She's using her kids and her partner's kids like free child labour, and burdens.

    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait. Exactly what kind of respect does she think she *deserves*?

    BlackestDawn
    Community Member
    4 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ALL of it, just because she is older than him.

    Load More Replies...
    Chich the witch
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can't abide control freaks. You have to have ground rules with kids but many of hers are a bit much.

    Furmumma_FNQ
    Community Member
    6 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dad needs to grow a pair and tell gf that he draws the line at controlling his kid. His kid, his job.

    kissmychakram
    Community Member
    5 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You could argue that it is more respectful to not move in because due to long-term commitments that he has already made (school, work, friends) he would be forced to either a) break her rules leading to discontent all round or b) break his word to the aforementioned parties leading to the assumption that he cannot be relied on. Since he is a man of principle, prior commitments win out and he can't move in. Also, she's a nutter.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    6 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's a stranger to him. Just bc his Dad is dating her does not form any sort of relationship for the almost adult son. Expecting him to live with them under a set of arbitrary and stupid rules is just delusional.

    Miriam Insidecor
    Community Member
    4 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He should have put the rules in the original post for clarity. That woman is insane.

    KatSaidThat
    Community Member
    2 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those rules are fine if you are 10. 8:30pm bedtime for a 17yo? No eatng alone? And those are just two of them.

    Alexandra
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is not a family: this is just bootcamp.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does this knd of step parent not realise that the children would help etc. if only FIRST they would get love and respect from the new parent?

    Robyn Hill
    Community Member
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The YTAs are crazy as usual. She’s just his dad’s girlfriend. She’s not family to him in any way. And those rules? They’re insane, especially for a teenager. He wouldn’t even be able to have an after school job, do sports, or have friends. She can shove her stupid rules. They’re not about “bringing family together.” They’re about controlling everyone.

    Ashtophet’sRevenge
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My thoughts exactly, what family? “You are my father’s girlfriend, and I am not a source of free labor.”

    Load More Replies...
    Drop Bear from Hell
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those rules were coco bananas - ESPECIALLY for a 17yo. OMFG 🙄

    MoMcB
    Community Member
    5 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bedtime 8.30! Her own kids will run when they can.

    Load More Replies...
    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    7 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good GAWD. I thought my mom was unreasonable. This lady's rules are a dictatorship. The 17 year old has a job, so some of her insane curfews and requirements wouldn't work out, anyways. What does she expect him to do? Tell his boss "Sorry, my dad's girlfriend says I have to be home, in bed by 8:30 and I have to tend to everything she asks me to do for her." She's using her kids and her partner's kids like free child labour, and burdens.

    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait. Exactly what kind of respect does she think she *deserves*?

    BlackestDawn
    Community Member
    4 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ALL of it, just because she is older than him.

    Load More Replies...
    Chich the witch
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can't abide control freaks. You have to have ground rules with kids but many of hers are a bit much.

    Furmumma_FNQ
    Community Member
    6 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dad needs to grow a pair and tell gf that he draws the line at controlling his kid. His kid, his job.

    kissmychakram
    Community Member
    5 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You could argue that it is more respectful to not move in because due to long-term commitments that he has already made (school, work, friends) he would be forced to either a) break her rules leading to discontent all round or b) break his word to the aforementioned parties leading to the assumption that he cannot be relied on. Since he is a man of principle, prior commitments win out and he can't move in. Also, she's a nutter.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    6 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's a stranger to him. Just bc his Dad is dating her does not form any sort of relationship for the almost adult son. Expecting him to live with them under a set of arbitrary and stupid rules is just delusional.

    Miriam Insidecor
    Community Member
    4 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He should have put the rules in the original post for clarity. That woman is insane.

    KatSaidThat
    Community Member
    2 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those rules are fine if you are 10. 8:30pm bedtime for a 17yo? No eatng alone? And those are just two of them.

    Alexandra
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is not a family: this is just bootcamp.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does this knd of step parent not realise that the children would help etc. if only FIRST they would get love and respect from the new parent?

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