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Dad Boycotts Sister’s Family Gatherings After Her New Rule: “Clearly Aimed At Me”
Woman telling family no kids allowed in her home, brother looking upset, emotional family conflict over children policy.

Dad Boycotts Sister’s Family Gatherings After Her New Rule: “Clearly Aimed At Me”

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Family gatherings can be loud, chaotic, and a challenge to get through. When there are kids involved, some people feel it can be even harder. In 2024, 38% of Brits said they found it hard to hear conversations around the table because of children being noisy.

One woman’s solution to that problem was to ask her family members not to bring their kids to events. However, her brother disagreed, taking it as an insult to himself and his children. Interestingly, after he shared his story online, people’s opinions were split. Some noted that maybe his kids really are that disruptive, while others doubted whether he told the whole truth.

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    A dad was told “no kids” at family gatherings by his sister

    Image credits: Vlada Karpovich / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    Although she tried to be polite about it, he still got offended, wondering how he should break the news to his 6-year-old

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    Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Polina Zimmerman / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits:

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    Image credits: Ivan S / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    Being at family gatherings helps children improve their social skills and benefits their emotional development

    Family events without children might be becoming the norm. That’s especially true for weddings. A whopping 79.5% of weddings in 2024 were planned to be child-free, according to this New York Times article.

    Sure, kids at a party or an event can be a handful. They’re not exactly synonymous with order: they shout, break things, and say inappropriate things at the wrong time. However, banning children from attending family gatherings may seem like a good idea to the adults at the moment. In the long run, however, it’s not very beneficial.

    Research shows that when children don’t attend family functions, it can lead to them exhibiting more problematic behavior. One study found that children who attended 20 family events a year (including vacations and celebrations) were three times less likely to act in problematic ways and were more prosocial. Those who attended only 10 such events were more likely to have behavioral problems.

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    Family gatherings are where children learn about social norms, understand how to adapt, and develop prosocial skills. According to another 2019 study, annual events contribute to children’s enhanced social adjustment and even emotional well-being.

    “We found that children who came from families with numerous experiences of annual events were more likely to have higher prosocial behavior and were less likely to have externalizing or internalizing problems,” the authors of the study write.

    Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Children are getting banned from more and more public spaces, defining society’s views toward children

    Lately, it seems, children are unwelcome in most places. While the commenters under this story were right to say that the world doesn’t revolve around one parent’s child, our society’s increasing general dislike of children is something to be discussed.

    In fact, it’s becoming quite common for children to be banned from social spaces. In France, for example, many hotels and resorts have adopted a child-free policy. It’s estimated that child-free establishments make up around 3-5% of the tourism sector. The French government is set to take action, saying that such rules are “organising society around people’s intolerance of others” and “institutionalise and legitimise intolerance.”

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    In South Korea, some cafes and other urban spaces have adopted “no-kids” zones, effectively banning all children, not just unruly ones. Experts argue that such policies “intensify unwelcoming sentiments toward children and parents.” Mothers are especially affected, as they report feeling unwelcome more often than fathers.

    Research shows that children are increasingly disappearing from public spaces. Whether because their parents deem them unsafe or because they just couldn’t be bothered, many children spend most of their time at home and in front of the screen.

    “Children are only fully accepted if they remain discreet, docile, and almost invisible,” Sylvain Wagnon, Professor of Education Sciences at the University of Montpellier, writes, “which severely limits their freedom of expression and existence in public spaces.”

    Of course, a person is allowed to decide whether or not their unruly nephew and niece are allowed to visit their home. Yet, there is something to be said about the outdated expectation that children should be seen and not heard.

    Commenters thought the dad probably neglected to mention some things: “There are missing reasons here”

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    Others were diplomatic, thinking both sides were right

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    One person sided with the dad, but still advised the dad to consider the situation objectively

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    “The world does not revolve around you and not all events are made for children,” was the loudest sentiment in the comments

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    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    Read less »
    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    What do you think ?
    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My guess is these kids aren't properly parentented, these "requests" don't come from vacuum.

    Paul C
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that everyone backs up the "no kids" rule strongly suggests that the children are not being parented but allowed to run wild. As one of the commenters said "not child proof" is code for "your children are wild". If everyone disagreed, then I would say that the sister is an AH.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How can a 'family' event happen without the kids who *are* family? And if she has a problem with said kids, she should be an adult and mention it (unless she already did and this is a parent's version of "all my exes were crazy").

    Load More Comments
    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My guess is these kids aren't properly parentented, these "requests" don't come from vacuum.

    Paul C
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that everyone backs up the "no kids" rule strongly suggests that the children are not being parented but allowed to run wild. As one of the commenters said "not child proof" is code for "your children are wild". If everyone disagreed, then I would say that the sister is an AH.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How can a 'family' event happen without the kids who *are* family? And if she has a problem with said kids, she should be an adult and mention it (unless she already did and this is a parent's version of "all my exes were crazy").

    Load More Comments
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