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“Am I The Jerk For Storming Off From My Sister’s Wedding After She Deadnamed My Son?”
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“Am I The Jerk For Storming Off From My Sister’s Wedding After She Deadnamed My Son?”

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At a wedding, most family members work hard to accommodate every last request the bride and groom have. After all, it is their day, and they have worked hard to plan a beautiful ceremony and an exciting party that everyone else gets to enjoy. But it is assumed that the happy couple also respects all of their guests. Once they start misgendering and deadnaming a family member, all bets are off. Guests are no longer responsible for catering to their every whim.

Last week, Reddit user Daddofthree told the story of how he and his sons stormed out of his sister’s wedding after she deadnamed one of his sons. After being told that this scene “ruined the wedding”, Daddofthree reached out asking if he did anything wrong in the situation. Below, you can read the whole infuriating story, as well as some of the responses from heated readers who might have done a lot more than simply storm out. Let us know in the comments how you would have reacted in this situation, and then if you’re looking to read another Bored Panda piece detailing some of the struggles trans people have to deal with every day, click here.

One father recently asked the internet if he did anything wrong by storming out of his sister’s wedding after she deadnamed his son

Image credits: Andrew McCluskey (Not the actual photo)



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Image credits: Jean Daniel Photography (Not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Daddofthree

It takes a great amount of courage to transition, especially at a young age, so it’s heartbreaking to hear that this aunt would rather deadname her nephew than accept him with open arms. As a cis person, she probably assumed that a name does not carry much weight, but I wonder how she would respond if someone started calling her by her husband’s or brother’s name instead. Aside from simply being disrespectful, deadnaming can be incredibly harmful for trans individuals. Child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr. Jason Lambrese told the Cleveland Clinic that deadnaming, or using a transgender person’s birth name that they no longer want to be referred to as, can really take a toll on a person’s mental health. 

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“It can remind them of that period in their lives before they could take steps to affirm who they are,” Dr. Lambrese says. “Deadnaming might bring them back into those more negative times in their lives. And often, that gender dysphoria (distress that comes from one’s sex assigned at birth not lining up with their true gender identity) can be associated with depression and anxiety.” On the contrary, by affirming a trans loved one’s gender identity and calling them by the name they choose, we can help lower their risks of depression and suicidal ideation. Calling someone by the name they choose is such an easy way to help an individual feel loved and show them there is no reason to feel shame about their identity. 

Nobody likes to be referred to by the wrong name anyway, regardless of whether they’re cis or trans. People get offended when a Starbucks employee misspells their name on a cup, and most of us don’t hesitate for a second to correct someone who mispronounces our names. We all deserve to be embraced for who we are; no one should have to defend their choice of pronouns or their name. Although the son in this story has not received full support from his extended family yet, thankfully, he has a loving father who would do anything to protect him and make sure he feels loved. We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below, and if you have any great comebacks to throw at transphobic family members, feel free to share those too.  

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Readers flooded the comments reassuring the father that he did the right thing by defending his son









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lifeartphoto avatar
TheDivineMsM
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I used their real name"... Connor is their real name you ignorant biscuit.

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Megzymonsta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA and what a great Dad sticking up for his son and not letting people casually insult him. My cousin transitioned about a year ago and for a while I would accidentally refer to him by his old name but always correct myself and he was really accepting of it. It didn't take long for everyone to get used to his new name and now I forget he was ever anyone other than Noah. This woman obviously has a very nasty streak in her and doesn't deserve to have any of her nephews attending her wedding if she can't treat a family member with respect and dignity. We need more dads like this!

michaelswanson avatar
UpQuarkDownQuark
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, it’s easy to slip and call someone or think of someone as you used to know them, especially after years or decades, but that’s just a slip. This guy’s sister is a jerk with no respect for her brother or nephew. And side note: this epidemic of “it’s my wedding day and nothing and no one else matters at all!” thinking is pretty sickening.

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happyhirts avatar
Mad Dragon
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a big fan of using an air horn if someone insists on continuing to misgender or dead-name my son. It only takes a few blasts and they either get on board or get out of our lives. I’m ok with either result.

deborahbrett avatar
Deborah B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The sister is being an AH. If Connor has transitioned socially, expecting a dress is just insulting and mean. My understanding of deadnaming is very incomplete, but aside from it being rude to call someone something they don't like, deadnaming is blatently misgendering someone and disregarding their transition, which is the move of someone transphobic and bitchy with it. You were right to leave, and sister should apologise to Connor.

skidog911 avatar
Kusotare
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you had had the gift of prophecy and known your sister was going to be an AH, you and your boys could have made her head explode by all wearing sundresses.

marigenbeltran_2 avatar
Marigen Beltran
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do I always read the expression "You ruined the wedding/party/BBQ/etc in other articles like this? Did a few people leaving a wedding actually ruined the whole event?

corytollman avatar
Cory Tollman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it it's usually people who have this "perfect day" imagined for "their day". It's not likely to really ever materialize how they like so I wouldn't be surprised if on some level they are looking to find something or someone to blame for it not be the perfect fairytale they dreamed of since they were old enough to watch Disney movies.

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Anna Snorrepot
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what a silly thing for the bride to ruin her wedding day over. It would have cost her NOTHING to treat the boy correct.

marysheplor1 avatar
Mary Jeffries
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His son will never forget his support. He has his son’s back no matter what. This will give him so much strength in years to come. They don’t need that sister if she won’t show respect.

jessicamanning avatar
Jessica Griffioen
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knowExactly how this is. My 19 year old ( born female) goes by the name Dylan as a male since he was about 16. His identical twin, his younger sister, older brother and myself, all accept this and respect his choices. His father and none of his fathers side will accept it. They refuse to call him Dylan and insist on calling him his deadname Melissa. He gets uninvited from family events etc from his fathers side unless he shows up dressed like a girl and agrees to being called Melissa not Dylan. I was so angry, i told them all to f**k off and if they really cared about my SON, they would accept him for who he is! He is now happy with his new girlfriend whos family accepts her and my son.

amytaylor_1 avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for you!! I swear, sometimes I feel like these homophpbic/transphobic people would accept them being a serial killer over being trans or gay..it blows my mind.

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emmabryant2 avatar
Eb
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if this didn't involved a trans person, I still can't understand why you'd expect to tell someone else what to wear.

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Cory Tollman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

or what name to go by. I could understand if she had told people they couldn't wear an all white Batman outfit though.

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delilahvazquez_1 avatar
Will sell corn chip for a soul
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well one why couldn't he wear a suit it doesn't matter what the guests really want to wear as long as it's "formal" they went to YOUR wedding the least you can do is use the name he prefers to be called

rahul-pawa-1 avatar
Rahul Pawa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a weird thing for her to fixate on on her wedding day. I wonder why it was so important to her to use the child's birth name. Seems like she should have much more important things to worry about.

edurnity22 avatar
Edurne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, and I'm sure Connor will always remember how his amazing dad supported him when he needed it the most!

destructorgozer avatar
Gozer LeGozerian
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely not. If she can't even muster the energy to use the individual's actual name, there's really not much hope for the future

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Istax
Community Member
1 year ago

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if girls are now thinking they're boys and vice versa I have no hope for the future. since when did our society become so delusional?

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Pansexual Phoenix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish my kid had a dad like this ❤️ Me and their siblings have called them by their real name ever since they came out, but their dad flat out refuses to use it, he just keeps on using their deadname, even tho we have said multiple times that it''s not okay 😑 And then he wonders why they don't want to see him... 🙄 But they have us, and we love them to the moon and back, no matter what ❤️

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Lulu Lay
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My nephew is trans and is the same age, same position (not physically transitioned) as Connor, and if somebody in my family did this, not only myself and his parents and siblings would leave, but a bunch of other people would too. And we’d be a lot ruder about it. It would be one thing if somebody didn’t know, but to know for so long and purposely deadname somebody in such a tangible, public way is despicable. Props to this awesome dad. And it bears mentioning that as long as they’re well dressed and the attire is appropriate to the event, EVERYBODY should get to wear what they’re comfortable in, regardless.

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Jade Gleeson
Community Member
1 year ago

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Why? Why would you leave, why is being asked to wear appropriate attire be so overwhelming for some people? You're not donating a kidney, you're wearing clothes. The child should have had a bit more respect for her elders. I bet the father is posting the 'transition' on social media, it's the 'in' thing to do nowadays, isn't it?

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Jennifer Biness
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know, it costs you nothing to show respect to others, especially those you claim to love. I love the idea of refusing to use her new last name, assuming she's changing it

amcgregor7419 avatar
Tams21
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know what it seems to be about weddings that make some people lose all sense of boundaries and common decency. Well done to the dad!

beth_snyder6 avatar
Beth Bartel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any bride who insists on approving what her *guests* wear to her wedding is asking for my family and me *not* to attend

izzycurer avatar
Izzy Curer
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even as someone who isn't a trans man, I would have a problem with just being told I have to wear a specific KIND of dress to attend someone's wedding. Well, ok, I'm enby, so that may be part of my issue, but even if I was cool with wearing a skirt for a beloved family member's sake, sun dresses just don't work with my body. Even just talking to the cis girls attending the wedding, there are plenty of other ways to ask someone to dress feminine and nice without needing to be so controlling. Maybe they don't own a sundress, or maybe they find them too revealing. No one should ever have to feel forced to expose more skin than they want to. That's bad. But we're not talking about the girls, we're talking about Connor. There was the thing about him being a 'man any other day'. That's not how that works, b*tch. Try telling the bride to be something that's she's not for a day. In public. Connor can't just become a woman and flop back, and saying so is about the most insensitive thing here. He or any other man could physically wear a dress, but that doesn't make him a woman. However, there is a lot more baggage and feelings for Connor to have to wear one than for some random dude to. Same with the name. Why should someone have to feel bad just to come to your wedding? As a bride, why the heck would you want that?

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Mreow Minx
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a non-stereotypical 'tomboy' woman and I'd refuse to attend any event where I was expected to wear a dress, skirt, revealing blouse, heels, or much else in the way of feminine attire, too.

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Phantom Lion
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ThT was the right thing tht he did bc his sister KNEW tht her nephiew was trans and then shows pure disrespect... wht a real shame on her

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virgilblue avatar
Virgil Blue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe she should go and get some therapy or read one of those "how can I not act like a raving 4sshat" self help books.

skidog911 avatar
Kusotare
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. BTW, your sister was definitely not indifferent. And you're the kind of Dad that most Dads should be.

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Mark Berry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You did the right thing. Bridal entitlement is no excuse for bigotry.

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Istax
Community Member
1 year ago

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so now it's bigotry to call a girl by she/her pronouns and name her by her REAL name?

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Lizzie Lola
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was way calmer than I'd have been. Id have gone complete Ghostbusters and said "There is no deadname. Only Connor" And LOUDLY announced she was a bigoted piece of trash.

almarako94 avatar
Almarako94
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just love the fact that there are fathers/parents who fight for their children rather than pushing them into a system they don't fit in. Definetely not the A*****e just a really good father. Thank you. (Not gay or trans, just appreciating good role models)

174agma avatar
Be Potato
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Standing up for you son, now that's f*****g amazing! :) F**k your sister tho, glad her wedding's gone s**t. She did it herself, not you!

kathrynbaylis avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Listen, if my kid came out as dinosaur, dropped the name on their birth certificate, chose the name Tyrannosaurus Rex, and wanted to go to the wedding in a dinosaur outfit, I wouldn’t care. Well, I mean, as long as it was a more formal dinosaur outfit that was appropriate to the occasion, you know. If the Bridezilla then decided to pitch a b***h about having a well-dressed dinosaur at her wedding, then she and the other dinophobe assholes, including and especially those in the family, can go f**k themselves, in my opinion. I would be the proud parent of a happy dinosaur, and would do anything to help my dino baby stay happy, well adjusted, and living their authentic life—-which is the whole point of parenthood. NTA, all the way.

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Istax
Community Member
1 year ago

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This is satire. Surely. Please tell me this is satire. You're not seriously saying you'll get mad at the bride for being annoyed a delusional kid wore a dinosaur outfit to her literal wedding?? Bloody hell, "living their authentic life"?! no-one can be a "dinosaur born in a human's body", no-one can be a "woman born in a man's body". this is utter insanity.

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Rod
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are a wonderful dad and did what you had to. Your sister created the situation and she's the only one to blame here.

spam4liiife avatar
lapis lazuli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

anyone if you guys who listen to rslash, he only gave them 2.5/5 buttholes. tbh this kinda sucks since he fives higher scores for stuff thats way less bad, and im mad tbh.

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lapis lazuli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

as _Leaf- in the comments of his video put it: last story: as a trans person myself i feel like the sister might have deserved an even bigger b******e score, maybe 4/5. while intentionally calling someone the wrong name is already disrespectful, it becomes so much worse for a trans person, especially when they get misgendered as well. especially with people you thought accepted you. it honestly physically hurts sometimes to be disrespected like that. op's sister sucks

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Tamara Kroonen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. If she cannot respect you and your son, you don't have to respect her wedding. So leaving was the only option.

jasperswoman avatar
Jasperina Witty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA your sister is a horrible person. She ruined her own wedding by not treating her nephew with respect

benicia_99 avatar
Azure Adams
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let's hope the sister's new husband sees this behavior and decides to nope out of that relationship and marriage. The ultimate insult to the sister

nightshadefox42 avatar
Istax
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

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you're saying you hope the bride has a divorce because she was annoyed the OP's kid wore a suit to her wedding? seriously?

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clarissacrosson avatar
NamiKoa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Question: Someone commented that you should never ever use the deadname even in the context of an account like this. Is this universally a thing? I lack first-hand experience in this, it seems drastic, kind of like the first years of your life that brought you to where you are don’t count and should never be mentioned again. I hope this question isn’t insensitive.

beth_snyder6 avatar
Beth Bartel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Slip-ups happen; what matters is consistent attempts to remember, self-correction, and *no* blaming the person transitioning when you forget

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bethanylee_1 avatar
Icy_Question_4977
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, if she does not support Connor then it is totally up to her, but she should not acted like that. That is rude and disrespectful towards him. If he wants be like that, then let him be! The dad was super supportive of his son which is sweet and he is such a great dad.

queenboadicea avatar
Queen Boadicea
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let's play devils advocate, are you TA, yes you are. It is bothersome that everyone has to walk on eggshells around you & your kid. Your kid is trans, fabulous, don't really care which way they want to live...but really, grow a thicker skin. Not everyone is going to accept it and nor should you force the issue either. You're not some super parent, you are petty and got your little feels hurt so you took your marbles and went home. How is your kid going to survive in a world that doesn't give a s**t? You think your sister is mean, wait till the kid meets someone who is way more outspoken and "bigoted". You are not doing them any favors by shielding them from reality. Reality is, your kid is going to fight an up hill battle and you won't be there to save them every time someone speaks out against them. You totally missed the opportunity to teach the kid how to stand up and deal with the aunt face on. Instead you taught them how to be shamed and tu k their tail and run. WTG.

pennylost avatar
Penny Lost
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This man is a great father! I wish I had known him in real life.

mrsb4905 avatar
Lindsey Judd-Bruder
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's the thing so many people don't seem to understand: you DON'T have to agree with someone, to show basic human kindness. You don't have to "agree" with homosexuality, abortion, religion, politics, or even being transgender, to be nice to someone who "does". (Using quotes because it's obviously not as simple as that agree/disagree for things like sexuality/gender/etc, but you get the gist.) That doesn't mean you have to be their best friend, or hang out with them, or take on their views. It just means you're nice to them. It means you're respectful, and polite, and don't go out of your way to hurt them. Or, if you can't do that, just live and let live. It's not difficult. After all, you're never going to agree with everyone. But we're still all human beings. Just be nice. Period.

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Hoodoo
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, Sis isn't being pretentious bout her disdain for your child. Why would you keep up appearances for her? Sadly, this probably isn't the last time Connor will be abused for being who he is & I think OP is teaching him how to handle himself. I likely would've skipped the wedding entirely.I know... easier said than done, but you can't exist w/ people who choose not to coexist.

7000305 avatar
1.21Gigawatts?!
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. She ruined her own wedding! OP should tell his sister that he’ll be at the divorce reception ;)

kristenbellefeuille avatar
Kristen Bellefeuille
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She needs to respect other people's feelings period. Connor feel comfortable and like his best self as Connor respect that, while not trans my self I was a tomboy and my mom was perfectly fine with me waring a pant suit over a dress she never took this bs off the family either her siblings all thought I was a guy, nope just a tom boy, you are an A+++++ parent.

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blatherskitenoir
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Weddings and funerals are a bit sacrosanct, in that there are pretty heavy expectations guests do not pick that one moment in time to have things out. It's nice he supported his child, but getting in the bride's face during the reception and storming out while calling her names (as opposed to simply disposing of the card and giving a neutral excuse to slip out quietly, putting the yelling on hold until later) is going to have a negative social impact. Regardless of the rightness of his stance: the chosen execution of it marks him as a social liability. They'll think he's a great dad with strong convictions...then leave him off their guest list anyways. No one likes yellers who wave dirty laundry in public. If he did that at his own sister's wedding, what would he do at your game board night? He's also placed an insurmountable obstacle blocking reconciliation. Sis may have come around on Connor in time. But now there's "you ruined my wedding" in the way. Which he can't ever fix.

zara2duchess avatar
Karen Rothery
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My middle born child was given the name of “Alana Joy K.” but was supposed to have been named “Alana-Joy Christine H.” at birth &, while she still has to answer to that name whenever she has to when she goes to a “new” medical practitioner, she changed the name that she is called by everyone else in her life. When she told me that she wanted to be called Chris which was the only part of her name that she was supposed to have had that she even slightly liked of her entire name. She was very surprised that I was willing to do my very best to only call her Chris as she had figured that I would be the hardest to convince to call her her chosen name. I managed to hold onto that action but it took a little bit of insistence that my mom & her mom to switch from calling her her “deadname” to call her “Chris” but, over time of only hearing her referred to as “Chris” they eventually started calling her “Chris” all of the time. Chris claims that she is a male in a female’s body but she still

marthaburger avatar
Martha B.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all, dictating what a guest can wear so as specifically is an AH move (saying formal or black-tie is ok, saying women must wear sundresses is not. Pretty sure my 80-year old mom is not going to wear a” sundress” to a wedding.) My trans son has been out with a legal name change for nearly 4 years. Even thinking his *original* (not “real” name) is awkward saying it is just wrong. Doing it purposefully is cruel and rude.

everythingseventual avatar
EverythingsEventual
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gives me groomer vibes. That's too young. Plus, this guy can't spell, I wonder if him not knowing basic vocabulary is part of why the kid doesn't know their own gender?

kbedard93 avatar
Kayla Hewey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He made a scene? Bish he sent you a photo including Connors attire and you passive aggressively said fine then purposely set a name tag that would cause drama and I'd put money on your dress code only being there so you could single Connor out in the first place. You need to see a professional cause there's something wrong with you.

fuhleeheece avatar
Felice Coles
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Add this to the list of why weddings are a bad idea. Normal people turn into monsters at these expensive and unnecessary events.

jordanprz100 avatar
Jo (she/her)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You had every right to do that. I am not transgender but people I know are it's really hard on them to be dead named by parents who KNOW there preferred name and I think you are a great parent for looking out for them and their mental health.

tracysellars avatar
Tracy Sellars
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good I hope her wedding was ruined horrible (insert extremely bad words here)

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and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whoo boy. Cut the sister off and don’t use your son’s deadname, even if ur telling a story. Wish these weren’t secondhand.

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Istax
Community Member
1 year ago

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okay, just gonna say something. I'd appreciate it if everyone would stop immediately downvoting opinions you disagree with. in case you didn't know, if someone gets 10+ downvoted they're muted and censored. please only downvote hateful comments that are a deliberate attack on someone, not people simply stating their opinion. the result of this system is that only the popular opinion shines through, the majority vote, which eliminates any room for discussion and / or criticism. I know this comment is probably going to get 100+ downvotes, but if you see this, please think before you downvote something, since if you don't it'll result in censorship and muting. there are comments on this post saying simply "YTA", which has over thirty downvotes, since people disagree and are therefore muting and censoring this opinion. The post is literally saying "Am I the jerk?", but any voice that says they are is immediately downvoted into oblivion? I'll shut up now, but please think of this next time.

stacyh avatar
30_Helens_Agree
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Downvoting you because you’re a terrible, hateful person and your opinions are stupid.

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GayBoi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a 13 year old trans male... Please educate yourself on why you are so wrong.

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Istax
Community Member
1 year ago

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agreed, in my opinion. but you can see both points of view: the OP was (justifiably?) mad since his kid was deadnamed, but it was quite extreme to leave the wedding for it. (one thing to add for the people reading this comment: if you see a story like this, think of both points of view, and consider all aspects of what happened. something I find helpful is thinking about your opinion on the matter, and then coming up with a rebuttal to allow you to see the other point of view!)

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David Woollands
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1 year ago

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Deadnaming - another stupid thing we’ve now got to contend with then!!

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John Dough
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People change their name all the time. Interesting you only object when it involves trans people.

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Carlota
Community Member
1 year ago

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Can we go back to the fun interesting boredpanda posts? So tired of the 'am I the jerk' stories

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John Dough
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You do realize commenting on them just signal BP that they are popular. Right?

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Chyppa Homer
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1 year ago

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When I read 'deadnamed', I thought something way worse has happened, than you throwing a hissy fit. Someone not playing along with your little game of pretend, is not such a big deal. Chill.

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Jade Gleeson
Community Member
1 year ago

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Don't deadname my son.....so the daughter that he has is dead to him? because she is transitioning, so all mention of her should be muffled, erased, killed???? So a child, who has been inundated with trans information for the last few years, this fad that everyone has decided is cool ATM and who, some parents push to this agenda for their own narcassistic reasonings, should be taken as gospel by everyone, even if they don't want to?? So it's okay for trans to say whatever they want but you all have to agree with it or you're transphobic?? Both were wrong, the father and the sister. This is my opinion, feel free to be an adult and not agree with me and leave it at that

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Lukyan Terdal
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The daughter is not dead. The daughter was never alive. There is no daughter. That’s how trans people work.

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roger holt
Community Member
1 year ago

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Your the a*****e. To think everyone is going to accept your daughter is ignorant.

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shut up I'm reading heartstopper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've seen your comments on other pages and they are always absolutely disgusting. You constantly shame people, but your probably an old sad man that lives in his mother's basement.

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Katinka Min
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1 year ago

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EAH. Stupid behaviour on the side of the sister? yes. But enough to storm off her wedding? No. Is a whole wedding totally ruined from one argument? No, at least it shouldn't be. What a stupid family.

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Istax
Community Member
1 year ago

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YTA! Seriously? The OP called the bride a bigot, a serious accusation, because she called the OP's daughter by her real name and "misgendered" her, deciding not to pander to the OP's daughter's delusions.

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Edgar
Community Member
1 year ago

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How can a kid come out as trans at 10 years old ?

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BJames
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1 year ago

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EAH - There is was room for tolerance on both sides of this one, IMO.

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Jessica Smith
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1 year ago

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This comment has been deleted.

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Martin Heston
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1 year ago

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Not a jot of evidence to prove this story is true.

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PolyPenguin2224
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why shouldn't it be true? even if this exact story wasn't I bet there are plenty of them just like it.

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cody lee
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1 year ago

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Unless his chromosomes switched from xy to xx then they’re just a freako playing pretend

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Dobbys Boggart
Community Member
1 year ago

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Her wedding, her rules. When Nia decided to pretend being a boy, she should have been prepared for situations like this.

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TheDivineMsM
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I used their real name"... Connor is their real name you ignorant biscuit.

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Megzymonsta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA and what a great Dad sticking up for his son and not letting people casually insult him. My cousin transitioned about a year ago and for a while I would accidentally refer to him by his old name but always correct myself and he was really accepting of it. It didn't take long for everyone to get used to his new name and now I forget he was ever anyone other than Noah. This woman obviously has a very nasty streak in her and doesn't deserve to have any of her nephews attending her wedding if she can't treat a family member with respect and dignity. We need more dads like this!

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UpQuarkDownQuark
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, it’s easy to slip and call someone or think of someone as you used to know them, especially after years or decades, but that’s just a slip. This guy’s sister is a jerk with no respect for her brother or nephew. And side note: this epidemic of “it’s my wedding day and nothing and no one else matters at all!” thinking is pretty sickening.

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Mad Dragon
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a big fan of using an air horn if someone insists on continuing to misgender or dead-name my son. It only takes a few blasts and they either get on board or get out of our lives. I’m ok with either result.

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Deborah B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The sister is being an AH. If Connor has transitioned socially, expecting a dress is just insulting and mean. My understanding of deadnaming is very incomplete, but aside from it being rude to call someone something they don't like, deadnaming is blatently misgendering someone and disregarding their transition, which is the move of someone transphobic and bitchy with it. You were right to leave, and sister should apologise to Connor.

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Kusotare
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you had had the gift of prophecy and known your sister was going to be an AH, you and your boys could have made her head explode by all wearing sundresses.

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Marigen Beltran
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do I always read the expression "You ruined the wedding/party/BBQ/etc in other articles like this? Did a few people leaving a wedding actually ruined the whole event?

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Cory Tollman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it it's usually people who have this "perfect day" imagined for "their day". It's not likely to really ever materialize how they like so I wouldn't be surprised if on some level they are looking to find something or someone to blame for it not be the perfect fairytale they dreamed of since they were old enough to watch Disney movies.

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Anna Snorrepot
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what a silly thing for the bride to ruin her wedding day over. It would have cost her NOTHING to treat the boy correct.

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Mary Jeffries
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His son will never forget his support. He has his son’s back no matter what. This will give him so much strength in years to come. They don’t need that sister if she won’t show respect.

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Jessica Griffioen
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knowExactly how this is. My 19 year old ( born female) goes by the name Dylan as a male since he was about 16. His identical twin, his younger sister, older brother and myself, all accept this and respect his choices. His father and none of his fathers side will accept it. They refuse to call him Dylan and insist on calling him his deadname Melissa. He gets uninvited from family events etc from his fathers side unless he shows up dressed like a girl and agrees to being called Melissa not Dylan. I was so angry, i told them all to f**k off and if they really cared about my SON, they would accept him for who he is! He is now happy with his new girlfriend whos family accepts her and my son.

amytaylor_1 avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for you!! I swear, sometimes I feel like these homophpbic/transphobic people would accept them being a serial killer over being trans or gay..it blows my mind.

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Eb
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if this didn't involved a trans person, I still can't understand why you'd expect to tell someone else what to wear.

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Cory Tollman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

or what name to go by. I could understand if she had told people they couldn't wear an all white Batman outfit though.

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Will sell corn chip for a soul
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well one why couldn't he wear a suit it doesn't matter what the guests really want to wear as long as it's "formal" they went to YOUR wedding the least you can do is use the name he prefers to be called

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Rahul Pawa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a weird thing for her to fixate on on her wedding day. I wonder why it was so important to her to use the child's birth name. Seems like she should have much more important things to worry about.

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Edurne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, and I'm sure Connor will always remember how his amazing dad supported him when he needed it the most!

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Gozer LeGozerian
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely not. If she can't even muster the energy to use the individual's actual name, there's really not much hope for the future

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Istax
Community Member
1 year ago

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if girls are now thinking they're boys and vice versa I have no hope for the future. since when did our society become so delusional?

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Pansexual Phoenix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish my kid had a dad like this ❤️ Me and their siblings have called them by their real name ever since they came out, but their dad flat out refuses to use it, he just keeps on using their deadname, even tho we have said multiple times that it''s not okay 😑 And then he wonders why they don't want to see him... 🙄 But they have us, and we love them to the moon and back, no matter what ❤️

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Lulu Lay
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My nephew is trans and is the same age, same position (not physically transitioned) as Connor, and if somebody in my family did this, not only myself and his parents and siblings would leave, but a bunch of other people would too. And we’d be a lot ruder about it. It would be one thing if somebody didn’t know, but to know for so long and purposely deadname somebody in such a tangible, public way is despicable. Props to this awesome dad. And it bears mentioning that as long as they’re well dressed and the attire is appropriate to the event, EVERYBODY should get to wear what they’re comfortable in, regardless.

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Jade Gleeson
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1 year ago

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Why? Why would you leave, why is being asked to wear appropriate attire be so overwhelming for some people? You're not donating a kidney, you're wearing clothes. The child should have had a bit more respect for her elders. I bet the father is posting the 'transition' on social media, it's the 'in' thing to do nowadays, isn't it?

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Jennifer Biness
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know, it costs you nothing to show respect to others, especially those you claim to love. I love the idea of refusing to use her new last name, assuming she's changing it

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Tams21
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know what it seems to be about weddings that make some people lose all sense of boundaries and common decency. Well done to the dad!

beth_snyder6 avatar
Beth Bartel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any bride who insists on approving what her *guests* wear to her wedding is asking for my family and me *not* to attend

izzycurer avatar
Izzy Curer
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even as someone who isn't a trans man, I would have a problem with just being told I have to wear a specific KIND of dress to attend someone's wedding. Well, ok, I'm enby, so that may be part of my issue, but even if I was cool with wearing a skirt for a beloved family member's sake, sun dresses just don't work with my body. Even just talking to the cis girls attending the wedding, there are plenty of other ways to ask someone to dress feminine and nice without needing to be so controlling. Maybe they don't own a sundress, or maybe they find them too revealing. No one should ever have to feel forced to expose more skin than they want to. That's bad. But we're not talking about the girls, we're talking about Connor. There was the thing about him being a 'man any other day'. That's not how that works, b*tch. Try telling the bride to be something that's she's not for a day. In public. Connor can't just become a woman and flop back, and saying so is about the most insensitive thing here. He or any other man could physically wear a dress, but that doesn't make him a woman. However, there is a lot more baggage and feelings for Connor to have to wear one than for some random dude to. Same with the name. Why should someone have to feel bad just to come to your wedding? As a bride, why the heck would you want that?

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Mreow Minx
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a non-stereotypical 'tomboy' woman and I'd refuse to attend any event where I was expected to wear a dress, skirt, revealing blouse, heels, or much else in the way of feminine attire, too.

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Phantom Lion
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ThT was the right thing tht he did bc his sister KNEW tht her nephiew was trans and then shows pure disrespect... wht a real shame on her

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Virgil Blue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe she should go and get some therapy or read one of those "how can I not act like a raving 4sshat" self help books.

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Kusotare
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. BTW, your sister was definitely not indifferent. And you're the kind of Dad that most Dads should be.

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Mark Berry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You did the right thing. Bridal entitlement is no excuse for bigotry.

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Istax
Community Member
1 year ago

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so now it's bigotry to call a girl by she/her pronouns and name her by her REAL name?

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Lizzie Lola
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was way calmer than I'd have been. Id have gone complete Ghostbusters and said "There is no deadname. Only Connor" And LOUDLY announced she was a bigoted piece of trash.

almarako94 avatar
Almarako94
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just love the fact that there are fathers/parents who fight for their children rather than pushing them into a system they don't fit in. Definetely not the A*****e just a really good father. Thank you. (Not gay or trans, just appreciating good role models)

174agma avatar
Be Potato
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Standing up for you son, now that's f*****g amazing! :) F**k your sister tho, glad her wedding's gone s**t. She did it herself, not you!

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Listen, if my kid came out as dinosaur, dropped the name on their birth certificate, chose the name Tyrannosaurus Rex, and wanted to go to the wedding in a dinosaur outfit, I wouldn’t care. Well, I mean, as long as it was a more formal dinosaur outfit that was appropriate to the occasion, you know. If the Bridezilla then decided to pitch a b***h about having a well-dressed dinosaur at her wedding, then she and the other dinophobe assholes, including and especially those in the family, can go f**k themselves, in my opinion. I would be the proud parent of a happy dinosaur, and would do anything to help my dino baby stay happy, well adjusted, and living their authentic life—-which is the whole point of parenthood. NTA, all the way.

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Istax
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1 year ago

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This is satire. Surely. Please tell me this is satire. You're not seriously saying you'll get mad at the bride for being annoyed a delusional kid wore a dinosaur outfit to her literal wedding?? Bloody hell, "living their authentic life"?! no-one can be a "dinosaur born in a human's body", no-one can be a "woman born in a man's body". this is utter insanity.

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Rod
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are a wonderful dad and did what you had to. Your sister created the situation and she's the only one to blame here.

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lapis lazuli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

anyone if you guys who listen to rslash, he only gave them 2.5/5 buttholes. tbh this kinda sucks since he fives higher scores for stuff thats way less bad, and im mad tbh.

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lapis lazuli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

as _Leaf- in the comments of his video put it: last story: as a trans person myself i feel like the sister might have deserved an even bigger b******e score, maybe 4/5. while intentionally calling someone the wrong name is already disrespectful, it becomes so much worse for a trans person, especially when they get misgendered as well. especially with people you thought accepted you. it honestly physically hurts sometimes to be disrespected like that. op's sister sucks

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Tamara Kroonen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. If she cannot respect you and your son, you don't have to respect her wedding. So leaving was the only option.

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Jasperina Witty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA your sister is a horrible person. She ruined her own wedding by not treating her nephew with respect

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Azure Adams
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let's hope the sister's new husband sees this behavior and decides to nope out of that relationship and marriage. The ultimate insult to the sister

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Istax
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

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you're saying you hope the bride has a divorce because she was annoyed the OP's kid wore a suit to her wedding? seriously?

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NamiKoa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Question: Someone commented that you should never ever use the deadname even in the context of an account like this. Is this universally a thing? I lack first-hand experience in this, it seems drastic, kind of like the first years of your life that brought you to where you are don’t count and should never be mentioned again. I hope this question isn’t insensitive.

beth_snyder6 avatar
Beth Bartel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Slip-ups happen; what matters is consistent attempts to remember, self-correction, and *no* blaming the person transitioning when you forget

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Icy_Question_4977
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, if she does not support Connor then it is totally up to her, but she should not acted like that. That is rude and disrespectful towards him. If he wants be like that, then let him be! The dad was super supportive of his son which is sweet and he is such a great dad.

queenboadicea avatar
Queen Boadicea
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let's play devils advocate, are you TA, yes you are. It is bothersome that everyone has to walk on eggshells around you & your kid. Your kid is trans, fabulous, don't really care which way they want to live...but really, grow a thicker skin. Not everyone is going to accept it and nor should you force the issue either. You're not some super parent, you are petty and got your little feels hurt so you took your marbles and went home. How is your kid going to survive in a world that doesn't give a s**t? You think your sister is mean, wait till the kid meets someone who is way more outspoken and "bigoted". You are not doing them any favors by shielding them from reality. Reality is, your kid is going to fight an up hill battle and you won't be there to save them every time someone speaks out against them. You totally missed the opportunity to teach the kid how to stand up and deal with the aunt face on. Instead you taught them how to be shamed and tu k their tail and run. WTG.

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Penny Lost
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This man is a great father! I wish I had known him in real life.

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Lindsey Judd-Bruder
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's the thing so many people don't seem to understand: you DON'T have to agree with someone, to show basic human kindness. You don't have to "agree" with homosexuality, abortion, religion, politics, or even being transgender, to be nice to someone who "does". (Using quotes because it's obviously not as simple as that agree/disagree for things like sexuality/gender/etc, but you get the gist.) That doesn't mean you have to be their best friend, or hang out with them, or take on their views. It just means you're nice to them. It means you're respectful, and polite, and don't go out of your way to hurt them. Or, if you can't do that, just live and let live. It's not difficult. After all, you're never going to agree with everyone. But we're still all human beings. Just be nice. Period.

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Hoodoo
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, Sis isn't being pretentious bout her disdain for your child. Why would you keep up appearances for her? Sadly, this probably isn't the last time Connor will be abused for being who he is & I think OP is teaching him how to handle himself. I likely would've skipped the wedding entirely.I know... easier said than done, but you can't exist w/ people who choose not to coexist.

7000305 avatar
1.21Gigawatts?!
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. She ruined her own wedding! OP should tell his sister that he’ll be at the divorce reception ;)

kristenbellefeuille avatar
Kristen Bellefeuille
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She needs to respect other people's feelings period. Connor feel comfortable and like his best self as Connor respect that, while not trans my self I was a tomboy and my mom was perfectly fine with me waring a pant suit over a dress she never took this bs off the family either her siblings all thought I was a guy, nope just a tom boy, you are an A+++++ parent.

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blatherskitenoir
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Weddings and funerals are a bit sacrosanct, in that there are pretty heavy expectations guests do not pick that one moment in time to have things out. It's nice he supported his child, but getting in the bride's face during the reception and storming out while calling her names (as opposed to simply disposing of the card and giving a neutral excuse to slip out quietly, putting the yelling on hold until later) is going to have a negative social impact. Regardless of the rightness of his stance: the chosen execution of it marks him as a social liability. They'll think he's a great dad with strong convictions...then leave him off their guest list anyways. No one likes yellers who wave dirty laundry in public. If he did that at his own sister's wedding, what would he do at your game board night? He's also placed an insurmountable obstacle blocking reconciliation. Sis may have come around on Connor in time. But now there's "you ruined my wedding" in the way. Which he can't ever fix.

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Karen Rothery
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My middle born child was given the name of “Alana Joy K.” but was supposed to have been named “Alana-Joy Christine H.” at birth &, while she still has to answer to that name whenever she has to when she goes to a “new” medical practitioner, she changed the name that she is called by everyone else in her life. When she told me that she wanted to be called Chris which was the only part of her name that she was supposed to have had that she even slightly liked of her entire name. She was very surprised that I was willing to do my very best to only call her Chris as she had figured that I would be the hardest to convince to call her her chosen name. I managed to hold onto that action but it took a little bit of insistence that my mom & her mom to switch from calling her her “deadname” to call her “Chris” but, over time of only hearing her referred to as “Chris” they eventually started calling her “Chris” all of the time. Chris claims that she is a male in a female’s body but she still

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Martha B.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all, dictating what a guest can wear so as specifically is an AH move (saying formal or black-tie is ok, saying women must wear sundresses is not. Pretty sure my 80-year old mom is not going to wear a” sundress” to a wedding.) My trans son has been out with a legal name change for nearly 4 years. Even thinking his *original* (not “real” name) is awkward saying it is just wrong. Doing it purposefully is cruel and rude.

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EverythingsEventual
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gives me groomer vibes. That's too young. Plus, this guy can't spell, I wonder if him not knowing basic vocabulary is part of why the kid doesn't know their own gender?

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Kayla Hewey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He made a scene? Bish he sent you a photo including Connors attire and you passive aggressively said fine then purposely set a name tag that would cause drama and I'd put money on your dress code only being there so you could single Connor out in the first place. You need to see a professional cause there's something wrong with you.

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Felice Coles
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Add this to the list of why weddings are a bad idea. Normal people turn into monsters at these expensive and unnecessary events.

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Jo (she/her)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You had every right to do that. I am not transgender but people I know are it's really hard on them to be dead named by parents who KNOW there preferred name and I think you are a great parent for looking out for them and their mental health.

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Tracy Sellars
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good I hope her wedding was ruined horrible (insert extremely bad words here)

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and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whoo boy. Cut the sister off and don’t use your son’s deadname, even if ur telling a story. Wish these weren’t secondhand.

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Istax
Community Member
1 year ago

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okay, just gonna say something. I'd appreciate it if everyone would stop immediately downvoting opinions you disagree with. in case you didn't know, if someone gets 10+ downvoted they're muted and censored. please only downvote hateful comments that are a deliberate attack on someone, not people simply stating their opinion. the result of this system is that only the popular opinion shines through, the majority vote, which eliminates any room for discussion and / or criticism. I know this comment is probably going to get 100+ downvotes, but if you see this, please think before you downvote something, since if you don't it'll result in censorship and muting. there are comments on this post saying simply "YTA", which has over thirty downvotes, since people disagree and are therefore muting and censoring this opinion. The post is literally saying "Am I the jerk?", but any voice that says they are is immediately downvoted into oblivion? I'll shut up now, but please think of this next time.

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30_Helens_Agree
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Downvoting you because you’re a terrible, hateful person and your opinions are stupid.

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GayBoi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a 13 year old trans male... Please educate yourself on why you are so wrong.

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Istax
Community Member
1 year ago

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agreed, in my opinion. but you can see both points of view: the OP was (justifiably?) mad since his kid was deadnamed, but it was quite extreme to leave the wedding for it. (one thing to add for the people reading this comment: if you see a story like this, think of both points of view, and consider all aspects of what happened. something I find helpful is thinking about your opinion on the matter, and then coming up with a rebuttal to allow you to see the other point of view!)

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David Woollands
Community Member
1 year ago

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Deadnaming - another stupid thing we’ve now got to contend with then!!

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John Dough
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People change their name all the time. Interesting you only object when it involves trans people.

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Carlota
Community Member
1 year ago

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Can we go back to the fun interesting boredpanda posts? So tired of the 'am I the jerk' stories

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John Dough
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You do realize commenting on them just signal BP that they are popular. Right?

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Chyppa Homer
Community Member
1 year ago

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When I read 'deadnamed', I thought something way worse has happened, than you throwing a hissy fit. Someone not playing along with your little game of pretend, is not such a big deal. Chill.

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Jade Gleeson
Community Member
1 year ago

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Don't deadname my son.....so the daughter that he has is dead to him? because she is transitioning, so all mention of her should be muffled, erased, killed???? So a child, who has been inundated with trans information for the last few years, this fad that everyone has decided is cool ATM and who, some parents push to this agenda for their own narcassistic reasonings, should be taken as gospel by everyone, even if they don't want to?? So it's okay for trans to say whatever they want but you all have to agree with it or you're transphobic?? Both were wrong, the father and the sister. This is my opinion, feel free to be an adult and not agree with me and leave it at that

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Lukyan Terdal
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The daughter is not dead. The daughter was never alive. There is no daughter. That’s how trans people work.

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roger holt
Community Member
1 year ago

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Your the a*****e. To think everyone is going to accept your daughter is ignorant.

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shut up I'm reading heartstopper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've seen your comments on other pages and they are always absolutely disgusting. You constantly shame people, but your probably an old sad man that lives in his mother's basement.

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Katinka Min
Community Member
1 year ago

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EAH. Stupid behaviour on the side of the sister? yes. But enough to storm off her wedding? No. Is a whole wedding totally ruined from one argument? No, at least it shouldn't be. What a stupid family.

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Istax
Community Member
1 year ago

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YTA! Seriously? The OP called the bride a bigot, a serious accusation, because she called the OP's daughter by her real name and "misgendered" her, deciding not to pander to the OP's daughter's delusions.

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Edgar
Community Member
1 year ago

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How can a kid come out as trans at 10 years old ?

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BJames
Community Member
1 year ago

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EAH - There is was room for tolerance on both sides of this one, IMO.

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Jessica Smith
Community Member
1 year ago

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This comment has been deleted.

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Martin Heston
Community Member
1 year ago

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Not a jot of evidence to prove this story is true.

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PolyPenguin2224
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why shouldn't it be true? even if this exact story wasn't I bet there are plenty of them just like it.

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cody lee
Community Member
1 year ago

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Unless his chromosomes switched from xy to xx then they’re just a freako playing pretend

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Dobbys Boggart
Community Member
1 year ago

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Her wedding, her rules. When Nia decided to pretend being a boy, she should have been prepared for situations like this.

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