16 Y.O. Is Called Names After Telling Her Dad She Won’t Be Raising His Future Kids
Interview With Expert
Parents should be the ones making smart decisions and correcting us when we are wrong, right? However, sometimes it can actually be quite the opposite and parents should be the ones who are told that their ideas and plans are dumb. But here comes another ‘issue’ – how well can they take it?
Because, for example, this teen’s dad didn’t take it well – after telling her that he wants to have more kids so his daughter can parent them, she informed him that she will not do that. Well, this led to quite an argument and name calling.
More info: Reddit
In most cases, parents are the ones who are mature and make mature decisions, not the kids
Image credits: Jeff Miller (not the actual photo)
Teen shares that she’s the only child and her dad has been wanting to have more kids for a while now so his family name doesn’t die out
Image credits: Ono Kosuki (not the actual photo)
She added that for about 10 years, her dad has been trying to find a young girlfriend who would be perfect to marry and have children with
Image credits: Steven Van Loy (not the actual photo)
She also noted that her dad’s additional reasoning for wanting more kids is that she can parent them so he doesn’t need to
Image credits: u/imsohigh_drated
She told him that it’s ridiculous and he shouldn’t have more kids in this case, but she was just called a jerk
A Reddit user shared her story online asking community members if she was wrong for telling her dad not to have more kids if his reasoning is so that she can parent them. The post caught quite a lot of folks’ attention and collected 3.7K upvotes and 561 comments.
The original poster (OP) starts her story by sharing that her dad has been wanting to have more kids for a while as she and her cousins are all girls, thus dad doesn’t want the family name to die out. She added that for around 10 years, her dad has been trying to find a young girlfriend who would be suitable to marry and have kids with.
However, OP also noted that beside dad’s wish to have a son, there is another reason for him wanting more kids – so she can parent them. Basically, she could do everything and he wouldn’t need to worry about it. OP told him that if that’s his reason, then he shouldn’t have any more kids, which was met with name calling.
The community members backed the teen up and gave her the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge in this situation. “Bro WHAT?! I have so many words about your dad and none of them are appropriate for here. So instead, I’ll just say you’re 100% NTA,” one user wrote. “He apparently sees you and all females as a breeding machine. Tell him straight up that you will not parent any baby that isn’t your own,” another added.
Image credits: Du Photographer (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda got in touch with Dr. Jane Greer, who is a marriage and family therapist, psychotherapist, author, and radio host of the Doctor On Call Show at healthylife.net featuring Shrink Wrap, Pop Psych, and Let’s Talk Sex: conversations about love, work and life. Her Shrink Wrap brand focuses on the trials and triumphs of relationships, with a spotlight on what we can learn from the celebrities.
She has a been a prominent national authority appearing on numerous television shows including Oprah, The Today Show, The Early Show, CBS News, Dateline, The View, Good Day New York, CNN News, Anderson Cooper 360, and Fox News. She has contributed to newspapers and magazines such as The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, The Chicago Tribune, and has been featured in People, US Weekly, In Touch, Cosmopolitan, Self, and Life & Style.
She was a contributing editor writing the “Let’s Talk Sex Column” for Redbook Magazine and am a blogger for Psychologytoday.com and Brides.com. Her newest book, AM I LYING TO MYSELF? How To Overcome Denial and See The Truth, is now available.
When a parent expects kids to take on parental responsibilities for their siblings, Dr. Jane Greer shares that the impact can be negative and affect a teenager in a variety of ways. “Rather than generating the desire to bond with siblings, it can instead foster hostility and resentment,” she added. “This in turn can make a teen reluctant to spend time freely or share and participate in activities with their siblings.”
Also, she pointed out that when a child is tasked with caregiving responsibilities at a young age, it can generate what is known as the parentified child – when a child has the burdensome weight of responsibility to take care of a parent unfairly placed upon them.
“This is an unfair parental role to be cast into and this overload of responsibility can inhibit their freedom to connect with friends and engage in activities that contribute to their own self-esteem and well-being,” Dr. Jane Greer emphasized. “During their adolescent years, teenagers need to move beyond their immediate family to participate in activities and establish friendships and relationships with peers.”
Finally, in addition to the challenges mentioned earlier, the father’s short-term relationships can create a lot of mistrust and fear of being involved in intimate relationships as this teen gets older.
“Seeing and experiencing the instability of her dad’s relationships can make her afraid to trust that anyone she dates will actually stay involved with her for any length of time and instead expect them to leave without it becoming a secure relationship,” Dr. Jane Greer pointed out. “It can also contribute to feelings of anxiety for fear that whoever she gets involved with is going to change their minds, reject and leave her so she may avoid getting seriously involved with anyone.”
She added that this insecurity can lead to low feelings of self-esteem and self-worth. “Consequently, as she gets older, she may have struggles with intimacy and trusting that someone will really be emotionally and physically there for her.” But what do you guys think about this situation? Share your thoughts below!
Redditors backed up the teen in this situation
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I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t “accidentally” got somebody pregnant if he has multiple girlfriends and has been trying for ten years. If he’s so obsessed with making more children then he sounds like the type of man who’d poke holes in condoms.
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You need to give your dad a massive kick in the bollocks with steel capped boots. Not only should he never be allowed to breed but you need to be far away from him, he's demented.
I came here to say almost exactly this. We just don't call them "bollocks" much where I'm from. But, yeah, right in the bollocks!
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OP, why can't you live full time with your mother (the sane one)? Why do you even have any contact with your dad when he thinks of you only as an incubator for his future grandson or parent to his offspring?
I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t “accidentally” got somebody pregnant if he has multiple girlfriends and has been trying for ten years. If he’s so obsessed with making more children then he sounds like the type of man who’d poke holes in condoms.
Load More Replies... You need to give your dad a massive kick in the bollocks with steel capped boots. Not only should he never be allowed to breed but you need to be far away from him, he's demented.
I came here to say almost exactly this. We just don't call them "bollocks" much where I'm from. But, yeah, right in the bollocks!
Load More Replies... OP, why can't you live full time with your mother (the sane one)? Why do you even have any contact with your dad when he thinks of you only as an incubator for his future grandson or parent to his offspring?
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