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'Cursed Comments' is one of those niche subreddits that have become an integral part of internet culture. Even though the community is relatively young even by online standards, it has already attracted over 3 million members and has been featured in various media outlets. (Bored Panda has also covered it here, here, and here.)
It's difficult to pinpoint what a cursed comment actually is. There are just too many forms it can appear in. According to the subreddit's 'About' section, however, the best way of defining it is probably a statement that gets you to think along the lines of "What the f$k did I just read?" and leaves you speechless while also somehow makes sense.
But the best part is that the incomprehension of the comment you just read (or the blatant gruesomeness of it) is also enough to draw a smile on your face.
Pewdiepie said 'Cursed Comments' is the worst subreddit. But is it really? Can it simultaneously be the best one too? In a couple of days, on April 10th, the community will celebrate its 4th birthday, so we decided it's the perfect time to revisit it and show you some of its recent top posts.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Cursed Bears
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
Racist bastards...that's just two bear friends seeing each other sharing a fist bump and then heading into the forest to get some grub.
Michelle C 3 years ago
I dunno...my gay friend told me that if you see 2 bears meeting in a park by some brambles it mean s**t about to get grizzly
Nadine Bamberger 3 years ago
Pablo EskoBear, the "Cocaine Bear of Kentucky" in his earlier days.
Mr. Pigeon 3 years ago
Damn I haven't laughed like that in some time...your guys comments really made my day
Spampampams 3 years ago
I know , I know. It made me read it fast too. IDKW
Load More Replies... another one 3 years ago
How is it people who accuse others of racism seem to be the most racist people?
Jessica Julian 3 years ago
All things considered, I'd be more worried if they were Polar Bears...
RELATED:
#2
Cursed_organs
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
"You see what happened to Appendix? I'm not pissing this guy off"
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
I've had massive heart failure, and I keep my heart going as a warning to my other organs that I won't accept any of them being idle. THAT MEANS YOU TOO, PANCREAS! And don't you sneak off liver and kidneys, I'm looking at you too!
Susan Bosse 3 years ago
I did that with my gallbladder. Had to have a surgery that MIGHT possibly affect my gallbladder down the road. I said "Get rid of it!!!" Must have worked to show the other organs because I'm an alcoholic...two years SOBER...but my liver hung in there and is in perfect condition!!!
Monday 3 years ago
and half your liver, that bugger grows back so he's partially expendable.
Load More Replies... Betsy Novack 3 years ago
My brother, who I made a great dinner the night before ww headed to my folks house to have a 25th wedding anniversary celebration party, ate dinner and stepped over my body when I started having pains in my abdominal. The morning after the party the next day, which was a great success, I sat in a claw foot bathtub trying to get rid of the pain. Ended up with emergency appendectomy. The nurse did her little shaving job and threw the sheet up over my face for modesty while I couldn't figure our what difference it made if he was going to get a lot more personal when he cuts me open from my waist down. The surgeon I went for post op had a waiting room full of Playboy magazines. Weirdest of many moments to come.
Heather Pobicki 3 years ago
That's what I sarcastically should have said to the billing departments when they incorrectly coded my surgery as elective
We managed to get in touch with the moderators of 'Cursed Comments' and one of them agreed to tell us more about the inner workings of their subreddit.
"I think people like it because all throughout the internet, you run across some odd images or videos, and this content may provoke thoughts that you wouldn’t dare say—but someone else did say it," the mod told Bored Panda.
"It's one giant vault of the internet's best (worst?) cursed comments."
#3
Cursed_percentage
Nitro Codes 3 years ago
Nah, she'd be dead by the time she got to the burn ward.
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Mag Swag 3 years ago
i looked it up, it’s about 84% difference. but until women are making 100% of what men make, it’s still not enough. it is really sad :(
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Katrina Seitz The Rice 3 years ago
Ok this reminds me when I was about ten and was looking at an atlas that was from 1996 and one of the maps labeled some different countries and had such negative things to say about all of them–until it got to America. "Women's pay is rapidly increasing, and in a number of fields, women's salaries are almost equal to men's." The intonation in this sentence was SO self-satisfied. God bless America.
#4
Cursed_lapdance
Jennifer Barrett 3 years ago
Is it dying in the worst possible way? I can think of worse things to be doing when I died than getting a private lap dance
A B C 3 years ago
They might have propped that to make him look alive to reduce the impact on the other people. Seeing someone "barely alive" is something different to seeing a corpse.
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Dorothy Parker 3 years ago (edited)
Or died in the best possible way. Think about it. That way or falling into a wood chipper?
Glirpy 3 years ago
A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go!
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commie pinkofag 3 years ago
"…died in the worst way possible." I live in a country where dissidents are vanished, held indefinitely without charge or trial, and tortured. Please, may I die in a strip club?
ArodTheHorrible 3 years ago
"...worst way possible"? Doesn't everyone want to die doing what they love? LOL
Katherine Boag 3 years ago
I thought people considered dying at a strip club to be a good death. Also surely if he had an oxygen mask on he wasnt dead yet
WarpedThoughts 3 years ago (edited)
I imagine this being said with the same enthusiasm as a game show host 😂
#5
Cursed_sleep
Wonderful 3 years ago
And of course they have loud music in the ads.. for that extra startle factor
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cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
I go around knocking on doors every 30 days and ask if they want the full version
Black Pearl 3 years ago
Last night in my dream people kept talking about Friday, but they called it "Sleeping Day" instead. I got so used to it that I woke up today and said "Oh yay it's sleeping day."
Betsy Novack 3 years ago
I wonder what ads? Talk about a captive audience. Think Death or Super Bowl ads cost more?
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Betsy Novack 3 years ago
Unplug me I never thought of sleep as death. It's the only time my brain get to go crazy without anyone knowing what I'm thinking. Even me.
The person looking after the sub said the community is "a group of people who find amusement in seeing the wild and unspoken comments out in the vast depths of the internet that would probably go unnoticed and ignored" if it didn't exist.
They're the heroes we didn't know we need. Many of the gems you see in this list have gotten only a handful of likes on the platforms they were originally posted on and most likely would have perished if it wasn't for these folks.
"They aren't always the most sensible comments, but they are interesting nonetheless."
#6
Cursed_sport
Vicky Z 3 years ago
I saw a different suggestion also to have famous athletes but in different sports!! For example put Nadal to play basketball! That would be fun too!!
Anne Edwards 3 years ago
The marathon would take place for the week after closing ceremonies, all survivors will medal. Gold, Silver, Bronze and Aluminum Foil.
Rez Fidel 3 years ago
THIS. Or..Athletes at the Olympics are allowed to take whatever they want. I mean imagine Usain Bolt running on Coke, Speed and XTC... i bet he becomes ultrasonic and then vanishes inside a wormhole..haha.
commie pinkofag 3 years ago
I'm 82, morbidly obese, and have had both my feet amputated due to diabetes. I would love to nothing more than to make everyone on earth look at me in technicolor spandex.
theoneandonlynoira 3 years ago
But that would be kinda funny, like people stumbling around and breaking necks. Just hilarious. Depending on how, erm, broad your sense of humor is😁
#7
Cursed_confusion
Jill Hojnacki 3 years ago
Fun fact: A zebra’s skin is not striped like its coat; it’s black. A shaved zebra is a black zebra. Giraffe skin is also an even color; light brown. A tiger bears its stripes on its skin, though. (I was in education at a zoo. This is a commonly asked question.)
commie pinkofag 3 years ago
Killing a zebra for no reason other than that it is rightly terrified of the police would risk an effective public response. Americans love every animal except the one that we are.
Bruno Madrigal 3 years ago
I hate when i lose my white friends in snow, i hate when i lose my black friends in the dark, lose my Asian friends in a explosion.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
A male zebra is black with white stripes. A female zebra is white with black stripes. ;)
Bob Standen 3 years ago
Is it a white horse with black strips, or BLACK HORSE WITH WHITE STRIPS? I guess the first or they would have shot it in the back 34 times for resisting arrest.
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
The black stripes were too narrow to hit without risking the white stripes.
#8
Cursed_steve
-Under_Ender - 3 years ago
boi we on the same road to dark humor land here
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Id row 3 years ago
I sang, "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" in my head at my aunt's funeral. And her name really was Karen. She was every bit what that name represents.
C C 3 years ago
OMG Yes! I sing this too about witches that I wish gone or are gone
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Dana Ondráčková 3 years ago
So dark me And my sister cried while laughing at our brother in laws coffin which was White, covered in flowers and Under a Glass dome. He looked like a Snow White. He would appreciate our humor
Emily 3 years ago
Damn that is a fancy setup for a funeral, but I bet it was beautiful, albeit a sad occasion.
Load More Replies... Poultry Geist 3 years ago
I’ve added sexually (in my head )to every post and comment since the “ add sexually to every sentence post 🤦🏻♀️It’s going to be a long day.. sexually ! 🤦🏻♀️
AzKhaleesi 3 years ago
reminds me of that meme that says, "When I die I want my boss(es) to be my paul bearers and lower me into the ground so they can let me down one last time" (or something to that effect) lol
commie pinkofag 3 years ago
I object to cremation only because it precludes pissing on the grave.
Auntriarch 3 years ago
Always the option to use the ashes in the cat's tray though
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Kakegurui Sandwich 3 years ago
Guess I have dark humor too, I was told I liked to think outside the box in kindergarten, to this day I remember the teacher telling me that, and every time I think about it I pull up pictures of coffins and say “MY THOUGHT ARE OUTSIDE OF YOU” And sometimes I think about dead people and say “I am above you” in my head
#9
Cursed_advice
- 3 years ago
And where are they writing from?? Worst first day on the job... St. Peter is doing jury duty, God is busy, and everyone else is at a retreat watching slide shows about the new halos and harps and s**t.
commie pinkofag 3 years ago
I'm sure Joel Osteen can do so for $1,000 per feather. Just stop buying food and insulin, and your loved will be flapping like a rabid goose in no time at all.
Debrina Blackmoon 3 years ago (edited)
Thankfully real birds can't get rabies(just a mammalian thing); cobra chickens are scary enough!
Load More Replies..."Over the course of our history as a subreddit, we grew naturally for a long time and became a rather large community [on our own, but] then PewDiePie made his first video [about us], and we exploded in popularity," the mod recalled.
"It's been an amazing journey watching and helping grow a community like this, and having one of the largest YouTubers in the world make videos on it is pretty incredible."
#10
Cursed_coughing
Amanda Reicha 3 years ago
I have an implanted device for seizures. The wires are attached to a nerve in my throat and every 3 minutes the battery sends electric signals to my brain through the attachment. So this makes me cough sometimes and during the start of Covid, people moved away, now I get stares.
Jerry The Joker 3 years ago
Wow Amanda, that's really neat (the device). I hope it's improved your life!
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Shea Fujishima 3 years ago
When I was in my 20s, before I got my allergies under control and was prescribed an inhaler for the asthma, I got so sick of people snidely asking if my cough was a "smoker's cough", that I started answering "No, TB." That nicely shut them right up!
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
My heart condition has given me a permanent cough. It's amazing how many times I have gone somewhere busy and there is suddenly no queue
Ozacoter 3 years ago
My asthma is the same. People gets super paranoid around me. If i needed to take a train or plane i carried a paper from my GP stating that i have cronic cough
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Trophy Husband 3 years ago
I love the post that said "before COVID I would cough to cover a fart, but now I fart to cover a cough!"
Leoninus Fate 3 years ago
"HEY, MOM LOOK THIS LADY THINKS SHE CAN CATCH MY CANCER!" I was going through cancer just as covid started, I went into the dr and this lady sat by the desk to write in, {Bit of backstory, I had Blood clots in my lungs too, so bad coughs, but didn't know at that moment, just thought it was cancer, the room was only for people that had cancer, and you had to be negative with covid to come in, I was also with my mom as I was too sick to drive}, so she leaned away from me {like moved a full chair over} and I loudly said to my mom "Hey, mom this lady thinks she can catch my cancer!"
M Rob 3 years ago
Roommate wanted a t-shirt... I don't have Covid - I smoke lots of pot.
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Thalia Lovering 3 years ago
During allergy season, I have contemplated getting a tattoo on my forehead that says ALLERGIC.
Debrina Blackmoon 3 years ago (edited)
My allergies make me cough most of every damn day, besides cause stuffy sinuses. It's also impossible to fully clear my throat. So it seems I'm very frequently sick, but I know the difference and def don't have pneumonia again or the plague(trying for a chance to get my shots). Hopefully won't.
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Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
I don’t smoke, but I do have chronic sinus issues. It was not easy to sneeze, sniffle, and clear my throat if my sinuses acted up when I was out in public during lockdown (mostly just for a quick trip to the store)—-properly masked and social distancing, but still. I mean, you should’ve seen the looks I got. I can’t tell you how many times I was at the pharmacy getting my prescription sinus meds, and had to explain to other customers that it was my sinuses, not COVID, then pull one of the boxes of sinus meds out of the bag to prove it.
Karen Grace 3 years ago
I have sinus issues plus asthma so I know that feeling. I also have a subglottic stenosis and a floppy trachea so when I start coughing it sounds pretty bad. However, if you're around an antimask/antivaxer I try to cough even louder. 😉
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#11
Cursed_family
DUN DUN (she/her) 3 years ago (edited)
S**t got crazier and crazier with each progressing word
William Stevenson 3 years ago
Anybody else shipping the ex wife and the stepsister in this epic? I call it Step by Step.
Nitro Codes 3 years ago
NO! They dodged infinite fully outfitted Doom Slayers !
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Diane B 3 years ago
If the dad is dating a 21 year old, it's possible the step mom could be just three years older than junior... just sayin.
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
Not if she helped raise junior since he was 11 years old... Assuming she was at least 18 when she got with the dad, the age difference would be at least 7 years. Of course, the dad might have known her when she was a minor, prior to the marriage but after her meeting Junior, but that would make it even more creepy, since dad would have been at least in his twenties when Junior was 11.
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Catlady6000 3 years ago
A woman I used to work with left her husband for his dad. And had a son with each of them. Still not sure how the boys are related. Or the dads, granddad?
William Stevenson 3 years ago
Her older son is the Nephbro to the younger son aka the Unkabrah
Load More Replies... #12
Cursed Afterlife
Martin John 3 years ago
"What happens after we die?" "A lot of things...they just don't involve you." :P
Jenny Mason 3 years ago
Or in my case, one family member hides all the belongings and tells everyone else that our mother had no personal belongings left. 🤷♀️ I only found out 8 years after the fact and really didn't care enough to do anything about it.
Reading-under-Sequoias🫶🇺🇦 3 years ago
My friend cries over my dead body after forcing me to eat extra cheesy cheez-its.
#13
Cursed_reality
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
HAHAHAHAHAJAHHAHAHAHAJAHSBHABDGDHDVZJEJSBXBBDKSNZNDNEBNEJD S SHELP IM HAVING A STROKE
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
911- stronk victim on BP thread. Send back up
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Geeki Nikki 3 years ago (edited)
🔥 Also, chameleon dress up looks fun! Next give 'em a tiny purse to hold!
theoneandonlynoira 3 years ago
Ooh that dude's in the burn ward, recovering from 3rd degree burns. Send prayers guys!
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Even the grippiest chameleon can’t help some people with their shortcomings.
But more members also mean more problems. "It's become more difficult to moderate a sub of such scale, and we deal with a lot of mod harassment/abuse, people who want to disrupt the flow of things and make our lives harder."
"Often, the people who decide to verbally abuse us are just angry because we removed their post/comment or banned them," the mod explained.
#14
Cursed_bees
David Schulman 3 years ago
To be fair, many of the people who feel this way may just be bad at quilting, spelling, and various other gerunds.
#15
Cursed_improvement
Twodogsandapicnictable 3 years ago (edited)
Most of them. It tends to be the worst things in the worst parts that anyone anywhere else ever hears about. (as an answer to the question) But for the second part, climate change sucks.
Kakegurui Sandwich 3 years ago
Was gonna say America, but this is better… America is eh. Not terrible, eh. We can have religion. And guns. And all kinds of stuff. Religion and guns and rights. Maybe not rights, but religion and guns. Unless the government takes our guns. Then just religion. Then they take religion and 90% of Americans are in jail. Prisoners lose some rights. Then we have nothing. Anyway…
Sanchi Shiva 3 years ago
America. US. USA. The United States. That d@mn country. Whatever you call it.
#16
Cursed Mri
Bacony Cakes 3 years ago
he shoots them out of his mouth like cactus from plants vs zombies
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Sofie 3 years ago
Poor man thought he was nailing it all along and found out way too late that's not what it means 😅
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Karen Grace 3 years ago
I have to admit it kinda looks like it to. The mass of nails was in just the right spot to give that appearance.
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Cara G 3 years ago
By contrast, Wolverine would be totally fine in this situation. Adamantium is nonferrous 😉
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Tori Wilson 3 years ago
Meanwhile no one asking why the f**k and how the f**k he got into this predicament in the first place
#17
Cursed_meal
Vicky Z 3 years ago
Anyway everyone stops talking after a good roast..... (yes it's dark don't hate me)
Emmett O'Brian 3 years ago
Mushrooms (the mycelium more accurately) seem to speak around fifty words to each other via electrical impulses.
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HarperTheCentaur (they/them) 3 years ago
*trying to figure out whether or not this is a hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy reference*
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"We once even had a user who manually DMed every single moderator of our team individually with a message purely consisting of the n-word and no more."
The moderator said that every Reddit community has at least a few bad apples, but "due to the nature of our subreddit, it tends to be worse than some others."
#18
Cursed_suicide
Ozacoter 3 years ago
Something that worked for me was to follow the three day rule. I would wait for three days in a row were i wanted to kill myself. I always wanted to die but i never was 3 days in a row suicidal. It sounds grim but it works
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Florence 3 years ago
and suicide? we know what the word is. this is just ignorant
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Pan 3 years ago
Almost same here. Only I got angry that the helpline did not offer any serious help.
Trish Smith 3 years ago
OMG! The same thing happened to me years ago! After I hung up I sat there for a while and just laughed my ass off!
François Carré 3 years ago
I was considering throwing myself through my dorm room's window, but it was situated on the ground floor of the building. Just told to myself "well I can't even do THIS seriously".
M. A. McKnight 🇺🇦 3 years ago
I called the suicide hotline once and a heavily accented guy asked me if I could drive a truck
#19
Cursed_halloween
JoyfulZebra 3 years ago
Also, does anyone know where that smell is coming from?
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Fraxinus excelsior 3 years ago
And the poor sod has had his ears cropped, what's wrong with folk?
Mir Adwari 3 years ago
Yep, another! Awful isn't it? Wonder if some fool is going to come along and whine 'oh but vets say it stops ear infections' instead of owners' using ear cleaner to deal with it that way! Grrr...
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Jasmine Kallas 3 years ago (edited)
¨omg mom those guys decorations look..so..realistic.IS THAT JIMMY??¨
K Witmer 3 years ago
Me too bc damn how do you train this?? You know dogs love to please too so their aim must've been really good. Like take that Karen for bothering my dad.
Load More Replies... Wonderful 3 years ago
I have a buddy who has a golden retriever mix that is obsessed with a brick. He carries it around the house and uses it as a pillow. Only this one brick though. All others are ignored. He doesn't chew on it or anything thankfully. It's his security blanket brick I guess. They tried to take it away but he was so depressed and sad without it. He tries to bring it on walks but they have finally been able to get him to leave it at the door. Dog named "rock" that loves a brick.
Lana Jig-maker 3 years ago
I feel bad for the dog. It probably just wants some food and a nap, run and a poop.
#20
Cursed_family
#21
Cursed Hit And Run
Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 3 years ago
Yeah, but now that I've seen this, I think all VW Beetles should come with daisy rims standard
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
i would love getting a goth one and say “ runs over someone emo-lly
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
actually it would. nwo i have daisy rim mental images
Load More Replies... Lord Mysticlaw 3 years ago
Omg I have a VW Up and her name is Upsy-Daisy. SHE NEEDS DAISY RIMS!!!
Tonya Wallace 3 years ago
Immediately! I'm envious. I want one so much, but one of my aunties got one first. She's the family pest, so it's ruined my dream if having one.
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elcee 3 years ago
haha, my sissy's neighbor got a new yellow one, so into it she covered it w butterfly decals and got a vanity plate: BUTFLY
For better or worse, the internet has become the last place where you can make such comments as few risk saying these things to people in public.
Even before the infamous incident between Will Smith and Chris Rock at the Oscars, the most dangerous thing that a comedian has to face today is offending political correctness.
#22
Cursed_girlfriend
Phonax 3 years ago
Happens to me sometimes to. Not my cat, I just end up at other houses with no idea how.
#23
Cursed Slightly
Matthew Zornig 3 years ago
Sax is very important. As important as a good lead trumpet and rhythm section
Bobby 3 years ago
Reminds me of something a guy I knew in the navy said to our Master Chief. He was going on about family separation allowance (something married people could get when on a deployment) and said "I don't see why you get that, you miss your wife so what? I miss my dog, do I get money too?" and this guy said "Chief if you do with your dog what I do with my wife you deserve that money"
Miriam L 3 years ago
How dare he disgrace the name of Stoneface Sam Vimes, blackboard monitor! (Just to be clear, mostly joking.) Vimes actually has some wonderful things to say about his wife, both in the bedroom and in the rest of their lives. Unusual metaphors, definitely, but lovely.
Anthony J Cornish 3 years ago
Remembering the size of his wife and the dragons he wouldn't dare say any different.
Load More Replies... #24
Cursed Di*k Flap
Final score:
637points
Fxnglhl 3 years ago
BAHAAAHHAHAHAA BROOOO I WAS DOING HOMMEWORK MANNNN BROOOO
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Deux 3 years ago
Some guy was arrested for doing that at the service counter of a McDonalds in my city.
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ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
spicy jesus mary and joseph that mental image gave me a f*****g herat attack
Grace Noyes 3 years ago
I don't know how y'all walk around with those things. (Elaine from Seinfeld)
#25
Cursed_bambi
* ~ l a s a n y a ~ * 3 years ago
hollywoodcizzle... ummmmm.... theres something wrong with this guy,,,
Last year, Jennifer Saunders' take on the matter made headlines in the likes of Mail Online (“Jennifer Saunders says Absolutely Fabulous wouldn't be commissioned today in Britain's 'woke' culture").
The closest Saunders had come to saying that was the vague assertion that people "talk themselves out of stuff now because everything is sensitive."
But in the past, she was more direct. "People are so politically correct now," she said in 2017. "You can’t even get away [with playing] a politically incorrect character, because that is seen as being politically incorrect."
"Everyone's down on everyone for everything."
#26
Cursed Countries
Seán Baron 3 years ago
I love that bit in Bart v Australia when Homer looks at the globe and sees Uruguay!
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ArodTheHorrible 3 years ago
Her talking to her girlfriends about her deadbeat baby daddy, "He Congo to HELL!"
Hazel Sage 3 years ago
Oh, cool, my uncle is from Yemen, and he and my aunt named their second son “Aden”. I had no idea that Aden was a place! I’ve been wondering for 15 years why their two older kids have more traditional names, but not their youngest. Now I know!
Auntriarch 3 years ago
My brother was born in Aden. I call him, you little s**t
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#27
Cursed_sexually
Debrina Blackmoon 3 years ago (edited)
Well, I want to play the keyboard, sexually.
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#28
Cursed_cake
#29
Cursed Rolex Advice
Jonathan 3 years ago
This case was actualy about impersonation and theft, the guy that was murdered was killed by a business partner if i recall and he then moved from the UK to Canada with all the finances under the deceased's name.
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oktopus 3 years ago
Background story: https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/plymouth-news/rolex-murder-how-police-caught-516448
theoneandonlynoira 3 years ago
Thanks!! I'm tempted to get a Rolex now ;)
Load More Replies... karen snyder 3 years ago
According to the episode of Forensic Files that details this murder, he was legally, positively identified by medical and dental records during autopsy. The Rolex records were looked up because the information was instantly accessible to investigators. This posting makes it seem like the watch was ALL they had to identify the dead man.
AngelWingsYT 3 years ago
They keep meticulous records 👀 they even track second hand sellings
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Grace Note 3 years ago
Moral murderer. "Yes, I'm a murderer but I'm not stealing your fancy watch because I'm not some scumbag thief!'
Monty B 3 years ago
If I had found the body, the police would never even know about the Rolex.
Lorraine R 3 years ago
Yeah, they would, because the wristband would leave marks on the arm. Shouldn't a fancy brand like Rolex have wristband marks as identifiable as tire treads?
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Comedy gives us a break from everyday challenges. So if cursed comments help you to escape existential dread, who cares if you're laughing at them or not?
They're just someone's random thoughts that escaped through their fingers into the ocean of the internet without any harmful intentions. (At least I hope so.)
#30
Cursed Dad
Hydroboi 3 years ago
I am guessing he planted those because he foresaw that we would be like zombies because of covid.
Got Myself 4 Pandas 3 years ago
Aw this is super sweet. I'd love if if I could see my dad on Google maps but all I get is his old car. It's not the same
s. vitkovitsky 3 years ago
Happened with my neighbor.Then with me, I eas on G Maps. But still kicking, knock wood.
#31
Cursed_tattoo
Nicole Weymann 3 years ago
"Don't wear it if you don't know about the background" was a take I mostly recognize from cultural appropriation posts... new angle, that.
Les Izmore 3 years ago
Why a tattoo? You can tell if a dog has been neutered by standing behind it
Eb 3 years ago
Not if it's female. Some charities remove the tip of an ear instead as it's easier to see from a distance.
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#32
Cursed Vagina
M Rob 3 years ago
No one is commenting about her being in a bikini in the "snow"? There is so much wrong with this pic.
Abel Cohen 2 years ago
*Man: Walks into ladies room After being kicked out: Woman: Phew! they almost discovered the secret to not going bald!
#33
Cursed_fish
Vicky Z 3 years ago
That's what we've been doing wrong then!! Girls don't fake orgasms if you don't plan to swim off afterwards!!
Glirpy 3 years ago
Don’t female fish just lay eggs and then the males swim by and fertilize them?
Jon S. 3 years ago
I think in this species the female squirts her eggs into the male's cum stream. From memory, they do a fake 'shudder' thing that looks like they are trying to squirt.
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#34
Cursed_alliance
Serial pacifist 3 years ago (edited)
Italy busting in like: Oh, mamma mia, we are backa in the game, Germany be Mario again anda we be Luigi, anda Japan be the mushroom again!
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Germany European Tour 1939-1945. World Tour cancelled due to organizer dropping out
jimmy pop 3 years ago
Reminds me of a comic I've recently seen: Germany (to USA): "So you're telling me to build a huge army, march through Poland and fight the Russians if needed?" USA: "yes" Germany (now surrounded by other nato countries): "And everyone is cool with that including you Poland?" Poland (happily): "Yes" Germany: "Alright just writing it down so there's no misunderstanding in the future..."
Laura Mende (Human) 3 years ago
But who will make the Pizza? Germany and Japan are hungry...
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BasedWang12 3 years ago
First its funny.. Second, if you saw the Rick and Morty episode, its amazing
#35
Cursed_neighbor
KombatBunni 3 years ago
I once lived with a couple and their kids, the father was a crime scene investigator. He came home one day still in uniform which was odd, and looked like hell. I caught a whiff of..something off as he came in and later asked if that was what I thought it was. Turns out he’d had to investigate a scene where a bloke got caught in between the walls of a public toilet on a hot day..I can only imagine it was a lot worse than what he told me
Kim Bush 3 years ago
I can empathize... My husband is a retired crime scene investigator and deputy coroner. He finally had to retire because of constant recurring nightmares.
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Channon Doughty 3 years ago
Not outside the realm of possibility. That stuff could actually kill me!
Load More Replies... BasedWang12 3 years ago
Ima get in trouble at my desk man... Im currently on my way to meet this dude
#36
Cursed Eau De Toilette
Limey Cheesehead 3 years ago
This made me laugh...can you imagine having to get this outfit off to pee?
Xerastraza Lecrutia 3 years ago
there is usually a zipper in it down there with a layer of extra latex to cover for pinching.
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Susie Elle 3 years ago
When they walk it probably sounds like someone rubbing two baloons together.
#37
Cursed_grapes
Reading-under-Sequoias🫶🇺🇦 3 years ago (edited)
All mashed up so I can spread it on bread and give it to children to eat.
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Vanessa Richardson 3 years ago
I like my men like I like my coffee—-sliding off the roof of my car as I drive away.
#38
Cursed Birthday Party
M. A. McKnight 🇺🇦 3 years ago
I want my casket closed with "Pop Goes the Weasel" playing...
Load More Replies... Katy McMouse 3 years ago
Whoever did the makeup was brilliant. They almost look like they're still alive.
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Last thing I want to hear at my birthday is what was said at my grandma's funeral, "Cybermerlin2000! Put her pants back on and get out of the coffin now! You are holding up the cremation!"
Zero 3 years ago
(complicated setup, but this eulogy was made with of a living friend in the audience) "Michael O'Sullivan was my great friend. But I don't ever remember telling him that. The words that are spoken at a funeral are spoken too late for the man who is dead. What a wonderful thing it would be to visit your own funeral. To sit at the front and hear what was said, maybe say a few things yourself. Michael and I grew old together. But at times, when we laughed, we grew young. If he was here now, if he could hear what I say, I'd congratulate him on being a great man, and thank him for being a friend. " - From Waking Ned Devine, an amazing movie if you've never seen it
#39
Cursed_world_tour
s. vitkovitsky 3 years ago
The latest tour is basically a weak cover band.
Load More Replies... cybermerlin2000 3 years ago (edited)
Covid: "Hi guys! Just nipping back to pick up a few things. Catch me later!"
grey galah 3 years ago
O, i'm thinking of a t-shirt with cities, dates and variants, plus "the band hasn't broken up"
#40
Cursed Fightclub
BorPand8 3 years ago
Sorry. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/3-women-accused-running-elder-fight-club-among-dementia-patients-n1066236
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Trevor Nicholson 3 years ago
"These people should be in jail" like wow, brilliant commentary on an article about how they were arrested. Like oh yeah, you get arrested and then you go home.
IrrelevantNonsense 3 years ago
I think they meant that they deserved to be in jail. Like “These people SHOULD be in jail.”
Load More Replies... Melissa Rodriguez 3 years ago
I don't understand how multiple people went along with this. Like how does someone have the audacity to bring up the idea of a fight club to their colleagues and not get immediately turned down
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
There's a lot of weak-minded people out there on top of the actual "evil" people. You could ask the same question about so many problems: child abuse, sexual predators in high circles, bullying... It takes a minimal bit of courage to stand up to people doing something wrong, but a whole lot of evidence and several experiments show, that that is, unfortunately, too much to ask in most cases.
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Vee! 3 years ago (edited)
pick your poison! https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2019/10/14/elderly-care-staff-accused-pitting-residents-against-each-other-dementia-fight-club/ ------------ https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/3-women-accused-running-elder-fight-club-among-dementia-patients-n1066236 ---------------- https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/16/us/dementia-patients-fighting.html
#41
Cursed_vegetative State
Vicky Z 3 years ago
That's so horrible! And it's known that people probably can hear during comas....
Persephone 3 years ago
That's for sure true. Had a fam member on life support many years ago ( she went on to be an ER nurse after being in a coma and re-learning her life), but someone in the hospital while she was on life support asked, "what are we doing this for?" They thought she was un-salvageable... The doctor went off and said "you never say that! They can hear you!!! She will give up!!!" This was 1980's... what that Dr said, has stuck with me my entire life, and it saved hers. I remembered this while working in LTAC... And, for sure, some patients can hear you; don't give them a reason to give up!
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Georgia Hebert 3 years ago
IMO, I think people in comas should receive physical therapy to keep muscles in (some kind) of shape in case they wake up.
Persephone 3 years ago
That's what we do, but it's nearly impossible to prevent contractures after a point sadly. And there's a difference between types of comas; some the brain is intact, and others it's not.
Load More Replies... Persephone 3 years ago
This is why it's good to have a DNR or Living Will... Don't leave it up to fam that don't know what to do; I'm pretty sure you can download most of these forms online.
Lisa Lopez Mejia 3 years ago
Yeah my mom told me she wished I wasn't born a couple times. I reminded her if a thing called abortions that she could have taken advantage of. Maybe small things would be different now. We'll never know 😄
Dani Pret 3 years ago
That's disgusting I am so sorry she said that and I hope she regrets it
Load More Replies... Got Myself 4 Pandas 3 years ago
I guess that depends on the context really - I mean, I don't want my kids, or myself got that matter, to be stuck in a coma for an indefinite period of time - after a while I'm sure you would feel that it would be kinder to let them go and to be able to rest in peace rather than stuck in limbo. She may very well have said it in a kind way of I hope you die and are released from this rather than meaning she was being cruel. If I end up in a coma I've told my husband to give it a year, if I'm still in the same situation then just let me die - i don't want stuck in a bed possibly being able to hear but not move or communicate and if I did wake up years down the line it's not like I'd snap back to who I was, i would likely need to relearn much of my daily skills like walking, feeding myself etc
#42
Cursed_breath
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
Why is it so hot? Also- what's with this handbasket?
Load More Replies... Hazel Sage 3 years ago
If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry. Or scream. Or throw up. Or all three. So I choose to laugh! 😂🤣
Joanne Lawrence 3 years ago
A reference to the death of George Floyd in the US, where the police knelt on his neck until he died.
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LeeBreezy 3 years ago
dammit bruno, you wonder why we dont wanna talk about you
Load More Replies... #43
Cursed_andy
Marcellus the Third 3 years ago
I don't get what part of "fully aware" Andy doesn't understand.
#44
Cursed Oral
Twodogsandapicnictable 3 years ago
This reminds me of the joke about the doctor telling a husband he might be able to wake up his wife from her coma with oral and he told the doc he tried but she just kept choking.
#45
Cursed_s**t
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago (edited)
spicy jesus yesss i laughed edit: as opposed to sweet jesus, salty and umami. i saw it on another boredpanda post
Pink 3 years ago
"spicy jesus" sounds like a weird bible study group where they make you eat peppers at communion.
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DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
Also...."sh*t going from 0 to 100 real f***ing fast" may have also been a reason behind his hesitation.
#46
Cursed_win
Vicky Z 3 years ago
I think yes! I read somewhere that men are more likely to use guns while women use mostly pills....
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Jerry The Joker 3 years ago
Underrated comment here. Take my small updoot.
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
It generally has to do with preferred method. Women normally choose less painful methods and men tend to go for the quicker way out. In other words, overdosing on sleeping pills takes a while to kill you, so your chances of being found and revived are better than if you stick a gun in your mouth, jump off a 20 story building, or hang yourself.
Mr Zipperface 3 years ago
Lots of people here commenting about guys using guns. In UK only a tiny minority have that option, here they are more likely to die by hanging (59% of males, 45% of females), suffocation, overdose/poisoning, drowning, jumping in front of a train etc. I keep a noose in my car which actually acts like a comforter, if I had owned a gun I wouldn't be here now.
#47
Cursed Porn
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago (edited)
His hand thrust deeper as Kermits eyes bulged. Kermits mouth opened wider and wider and then suddenly, it clamped shut! His face folded in and his head collapsed as he pulled his clenched fist out and turned Kermit inside out. Kermit sighed happily. He liked it rough
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Vicky Z 3 years ago
If i gave you 100€ to admit you are ugly would you take them? Of course! I'm ugly I'm not stupid! (Not my joke but i like it)
Man in the ceiling 3 years ago
Exactly! Also high demand for the stuff so 👀
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Ashen Rayne 3 years ago
I'm one myself. And I've seen artists where 300 is the low end. Like YCH's that go up to 1000 per character. And they sell. @_@
Newt but not Thomas 3 years ago
I'm Jewish and from New York. Holy water can't kill me m**********r
Load More Replies... #48
Cursed_twitter
Nathaniel 3 years ago
The best graffiti I saw was "Jumping Dave is gay". No idea who he was, why he got the name Jumping Dave, no idea if he was gay or not. But is sounds like a Netflix drama we deserve.
chaotic_charlie (they/he) 3 years ago (edited)
I had to piss really bad once, had to go in the men's (i'm afab). I saw an Ernest Hemingway quote written, and under it was "stop vandalizing, jerry, we all know you've read hemingway"
Suzi Gauthier 3 years ago
My favorite at a bar when I was 19 was a limerick: There once was a woman with red shoes She spent all your money & drank all your booze She didn't have a cherry, but that's no sin She still had the box that the cherry came in
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Top 3 best ones I saw in the mens was 1: Your mom is so proud of you! Reply - You lasted longer than your dad AND didn't wipe on the curtains. 2: *On a condom machine in an Ice cream parlour toilets* Buy me and stop one. 3: *On a hand dryer* Press button for Bacon. Bonus hand dryer grafitti: Press button for carrot sticks and Pressing button will release ghost fingers
Lady of the Mountains 3 years ago
.....my favorite bathroom stall is "here I sit and contemplate, should I s**t or mas****te? lol"
Raphosaurus 3 years ago
She read all the comments the boys wrote and lost faith.
Load More Replies... David Schulman 3 years ago
I've seen photos of restroom graffiti where someone wrote “I f****d your mother”, below which someone else had added, “Go home Dad, you’re drunk”.
Yort 3 years ago
The profile picture and name make me wonder if this person is even a girl at all.
Yort 3 years ago
Like I know it says “gf” but this just reminds me of the profiles dudes make for their anime girlfriends who aren’t real people.
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Edgar Rops 3 years ago
"Today I bought a hand grenade. Headmasters' office is toast!" (In Russian I rhymes). Law school I went to.
#49
Cursed Cup .
Jayne Kyra 3 years ago (edited)
For those too young (or innocent) to understand: DO NOT GOOGLE THAT FOR YOUR OWN SANITY! Trust me on that! EDIT for those who stumble upon this and don´t know what it is about: Two girls, making out, looks hot, then they share a poop-cup. No, literally, excrement in a cup.
LuckyL 3 years ago
And for everyone who thinks - okay, now im curious, I'll google anyway. DON'T DO IT!!!
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Black Pearl 3 years ago
DON'T. GOOGLE. IT. DO. NOT. BAD. IDEA. I personally never have but I know it's something no one wants to know about.
Ray Heap 3 years ago (edited)
I...googled...it...and........got.......the.........vid..........HUUUURK!
NAVYA PRASAD 3 years ago
I sacrificed and it's, 2 women eating all possible human waste in an ice cream and then ah how to explain it, are kissing each other while having poop 💩 and vomit and what not. F*****K YOU KARAN KHOLIA B***H
#50
Cursed Fox
KombatBunni 3 years ago
Hahah sweet mother of cornbread, that’s hilarious. I’m remembering that one
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#51
Cursed Flag
Richard Henderson 3 years ago
It’s illegal to use the Us flag (and maybe others) as clothing. All those patriots…
#52
Cursed_superman
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
i’ll try and make it innocent.. because he’s so strong he literally cuts them into pieces when he picks them up
Sophie Prest 3 years ago
the fact that accidental child murder is innocent in this situation is concerning
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 3 years ago
In every superhero movie there's a scene where the hero saves someone falling from great heights and the only thing I can think of is how your body would immediately snap in two annex explode into blobs if stopped abruptly at maximum velocity.
Shashonie 3 years ago
This actually was shown in one of the Spiderman movies. The woman's neck was snapped as he broke her fall.
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Bacony Cakes 3 years ago
And it's a steam train, too. Probably part of a heritage railroad. Nice job wrecking all those years of bringing an iron horse back from the dead, Superman.
#53
Cursed Gandalf
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Imagine the shape of the ball sack to make the nose. Then imagine the shock when some one says it was a girl sitting there
#54
Cursed_turtles
AnxietyRiddenMom 3 years ago
Making keep pushing it until he turns into a turtle then put him in a nice little river home. It's a win-win situation you're rich and he's got a turtle family now
Mikey Kliss 3 years ago
I would totally take the chance. being a turtle would be awesome. Cowabunga!!!
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
Yes being a turtle is awesome 🤣 at least, my pet turtles are throughly pampered and have the best food and health food and turtle life they have🤣 edit: this is 8 months ago? Sry
Load More Replies... ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago (edited)
win win situation edit: i meant for the money and the turtle
LILYANDPEARL 3 years ago
The internet. Where ‘get an orphan to do it’ is a perfect fix to more or less every problem.
#55
Cursed_interview
ohjojo (you/your's) 3 years ago
March straight to HR and sue for sexual harassment before you even get the job
#56
Cursed_mybad
Kendra Miller 3 years ago
Better, "I've got popcorn, can I use that oven?"
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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Guess it's your turn next, Grandma. (Because that's what they say at weddings to unmarried grandchildren.)
#57
Cursed War Crimes.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Outside of Russia you can say it without coughing. In Russia they won't even dare to think about it.
Load More Replies... Black Pearl 3 years ago
Or why you eat all the famous pieces of art in the world. Then you'll never be forgotten.
BasedWang12 3 years ago
Or become a serial killer. Put Waaaaaaaaayyyyy too much thought into that when I was younger
#58
Cursed_darkmode
T5n 3 years ago
At first, I didn’t see the username so my first thought was “is that a setting that can be chosen?”
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Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago (edited)
Oooooh, that would be dope! I could make money as a translator - or do something more Imageinative that i can't imagine rn
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LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
Going through them till I find the setting that allows me to travel in time. I just want to use it once.
#59
Cursed_sword
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
I like the bit that says 'Pots were also smashed during altercation' I wonder if he ran off with bombs arrows and cash
Marcellus the Third 3 years ago
Can't have "serious condition" without a frowny-face emoticon.
AnxietyRiddenMom 3 years ago
Pots were also smashed in the altercation! Literally every Zelda game I've ever played floods my brain at the same time.
#60
Cursed_knife
Lawrence Thatcher 3 years ago
They were betrayed/harassed by being stabbed with a knife.
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Persp Gold 3 years ago
i want that attention to detail in my office. hes hired. welcome aboard spicy diq
#61
Cursed Future
Tiny Dancer 3 years ago
What a fascinating and heartbreaking tale this is. I know we're all here for funsies, but if you're interested, I found this BBC article and interview from about a month after he was released (https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-57022924), along with a transcript (http://sandhillsexpress.com/cbs_national/after-68-years-in-prison-joe-ligon-hopes-for-a-better-future-cbsid454949d1/) from the CBS interview (https://www.cbsnews.com/video/joe-ligon-speaks-out-after-serving-68-years-in-prison/). We can learn a lot about tolerance, forgiveness, and patience from this man. I hope he's thriving.
#62
Cursed Family Love
Aubrey 3 years ago
What happened to him after Toy Story? He was so innocent...
Load More Replies... #63
Cursed_league
#64
Cursed Toilet Snack
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Drop a fake severed finger with fake blood on the floor and say "Nearly done, I will see you in a minute" and when you are finished, open the door, stick your head out and call out "Next!"
#65
Cursed_survival Game
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Added bonus points if you play as a woman who is speaking out on behalf of Hong Kong.
#66
Cursed_money
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
can someone please draw this? i don’t have the photo thing for boredpanda
#67
Cursed_farts
PurpleDoople 3 years ago
Glad to see I’m not the only one who goes with my mother
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#68
Cursed_watch
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
My introvert gay neighbours finally visited me and asked what I wanted for my birthday. I was so shocked! I said "F*ck me!" It's been 3 weeks now and I still can't sit down
#69
Cursed_garfield
#70
Cursed Gun
ArodTheHorrible 3 years ago
A lot more psycho to expect kids not to make a mess.
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IDK_Something 3 years ago
That was my first thought, too! Lack of breasts was actually the last thing that made me think that.
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ohjojo (you/your's) 3 years ago
Going to be funny when they spend your money to see the psychiatrist.
#71
Cursed_wholesomeness
#72
Cursed_mask
Boreddd 3 years ago
Walking with a glass of water on the street and taking sips at random times
Reading-under-Sequoias🫶🇺🇦 3 years ago (edited)
Drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth, eating nerds with milk like cereal. (It tastes okay. Especially when you do it for a dare and 10$)
Load More Replies... Black Pearl 3 years ago (edited)
Carrying an empty cooler everywhere you go. Literally everywhere.
#73
Cursed Psychiatrist
#74
Cursed_song
Tiny Dancer 3 years ago
With thanks to Rabbit Carrot for the info, this is Sarah Brand's "Red Dress", apparently a viral video. I made it to the 20-second mark, yikes! So many actually talented people out there and this crap goes viral? What a world we're living in. Torture yourself here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sN7kgEw954
#75
Cursed_dare
BasedWang12 3 years ago (edited)
Andy strikes again..... and it actually makes sense with the others
mentaLilly 3 years ago
Andy....serious dude, things are getting out of control...we are here to help you, okay?! Your mom needs a break...and therapy..
#76
Cursed_wank
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Haaaahaha, *cough*. I was sipping coffee when I read this. OMG this is hilarious.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
The things Pandas are posting are even worse .... Hahaha
Load More Replies... Bacony Cakes 3 years ago
I guess that means that they're nudes of you. Y'know, intellectual property, and all that.
#77
Cursed_strength
Jacob Nunez 3 years ago
The thing is tho. We know the difference when he says “takes 5 guys at once”.
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Electra Complex 3 years ago
Sorry I can't stop focusing on whatever that guy is doing with his tattoos. Like did he want to get the right half of his body completely filled up before moving over to the left?
#78
Cursed_bullying
#79
Cursed Family
Nathaniel 3 years ago
The same thing happened to my uncle. He didn't have cats, but he did have three children under the age of six.
Jayne Kyra 3 years ago
I don´t see a problem. At least the cats will get food. But what about water and cleaning the litterbox?
Caroline Nagel 3 years ago
I have given my cat permission to use me as dinner. God knows how long it will take for somebody to find me.
#80
Cursed_harry Potter
Bacony Cakes 3 years ago
They are "Yeetus" and "Magical anti-ghost jizz".
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Kristen Kidd 3 years ago
It took me way too long to realize there is a whole other person behind Hermione.. I couldn't figure out why her hands were so tiny.
#81
Cursed_source Of Money
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
*Knocks out thief* "I should be able to get a lot for them on the dark web"
Doggo 3 years ago (edited)
www.darkweb.com Alternatively, you can visit www.blackmarket.com
Load More Replies... #82
Cursed_killing
Blackheart 3 years ago
Nope, not in US. Now in Europe, Japan, and parts of the Middle East, you can marry first cousin
#83
Cursed Spiderman
Nathaniel 3 years ago
Why is Aunt May getting sexier and sexier with every new Spiderman? In the next reboot she will be a nymphomaniac stripper and marital aids enthusiast.
William Stevenson 3 years ago
Nathaniel, you say that like it's a bad thing...
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#84
Cursed_dana
LottieH 3 years ago
The way he says it! Like it's an everyday occurrence 😂
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Phantom682 3 years ago
The news is basically someone saying "Good afternoon" and telling you all the reasons it's not
#85
Cursed Work Avoidance
Rabbit Carrot 3 years ago
My brother once fell down a cliff and rolled under a train. He lived. Broke both his ankles though.
#86
Cursed_tent
Lord Mysticlaw 3 years ago
Oh, I thought the trucks were having some private time under the covers
Happy Daihatsu 🇺🇦 3 years ago
Honestly that would be pretty cool...as long as you didn't turn the trucks on...
#87
Cursed_rug
BasedWang12 3 years ago
This took a turn I didn't expect with the caption being "Big Kitty Liquid"
Luna Karnsuwan 3 years ago
I'm not even gonna tell you what came to my mind when I read " Big Kitty Liquid"
#88
Cursed_fall_damage
Bacony Cakes 3 years ago
"While Greg Austin Gingrich, 38, was vacationing at the Grand Canyon in Coconino County, Arizona, with his teenaged daughter, he began to play-act losing his balance to frighten her. Gingrich leaped atop a guard wall and began wind-milling his arms in an exaggerated manner, then "comically" fell from the wall on the canyon side onto a short slope where he assumed he would land safely. His daughter, unimpressed with his antics, walked on. Gingrich, however, missed his footing and fell approximately 400 feet (120 m) into the canyon to his death." - Wikipedia
#89
Cursed Country
Florence 3 years ago
i swear to god. stop censoring suicide. it’s a word and it needs to be more publicly talked about so people who have suicidal thoughts know how to get help
Susie Elle 3 years ago
Yeah there's a "pulsating-orc-c**k" that didn't get censored a little back in this post
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Trevor Nicholson 3 years ago
I find it interesting that Selena Gomez was their choice for America. Nothing against her. Just interesting out of all the American celebrities.
#90
Cursed Selfie
#91
Cursed_can_size
gay insomniac assassin panda 3 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
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#92
Cursed Kindness
Elisabet Larsen 3 years ago
OMG I just died laughing. I tried this and this is the result: Florida man climbs playground equipment, allegedly yells to children about how babies are born
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
omg that happened when u searched mine with the year it just seemed less funny then hurling spaghettis at his mom
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Austin Hicks 3 years ago
Florida man dies in explosion after attempting to microwave a microwave.
Berry Budgie 3 years ago
Mine is ‘Florida man tries to buy McDonald’s with weed’
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Michelle C 3 years ago (edited)
Also works with Florida Woman...mine is "Florida Woman Caught On Camera Twerking In Clothing Store While Shoplifting" https://miami.cbslocal.com/2019/05/30/florida-woman-twerking-clothing-shoplifting/
Rabbit Carrot 3 years ago
Florida Man accused of beating cell mate who asked for a courtesy flush to help with smell. 😆 https://www.clickorlando.com/news/2020/04/13/florida-man-accused-of-beating-cellmate-who-asked-for-a-courtesy-flush-to-help-with-smell/
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
A Florida man threw spaghetti at his mother, saying she had demons in her head.
bi mermaid (she/her/hers) 1 year ago
Florida man caught with his p****r in his hand and a pickle in the other
#93
Cursed_diarrhea
Deson 3 years ago
Micro Managing managers. The kind that time exactly how long your bathroom breaks are and get upset if you are not back within 30 seconds of your bathroom break time.
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#94
Cursed_bf
Marcellus the Third 3 years ago
Tom Segura has a funny routine about exactly this, where he talks about a visit to an anonymous porn store to convince her (and, the audience, very very much) that she's wrong.
#95
Cursed _tellitubies
Destiney Haddox 3 years ago
I know it's a joke, but how come when a woman is hot, she's a ho? You can dress sexy without having sex with everyone.
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
The purple one must be the one the Teletubbies never talk about. Deepthroat
#96
Cursed_meal
foxking 3 years ago
same for me, but from; thats nice to, i bet he fking did it
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BasedWang12 3 years ago
double sided dildo and have em eat the meal using both sides as chopsticks
#97
Cursed_song
#98
Cursed_youtube
#99
Cursed_ultron
#100
Cursed Cookie
Hydroboi 3 years ago
Well, like choco chips, most of our body is water... so the pic is technically true.
#102
Cursed_twins
#103
Cursed_shower
#104
Cursed Break-Up
Sanchi 3 years ago
Roses are red, cacti are prickly, holy s**t, that escalated quickly
Load More Replies... #105
Cursed Colour
#106
Cursed_date
Tonya Wallace 3 years ago
I hope you have a career that utilizes your wit. You're hilarious!
Load More Replies... SomePeopleCallMeMaurice 3 years ago
Not quite as bad, but along the same lines: a guy started touching my hand while I was talking to him, which made me quite uncomfortable, since we’d only met a few minutes before. But that didn’t make me quite as uncomfortable as when next he plunged his tongue into my palm, and licked me all the way up to my elbow. Of course I recoiled in abject disgust, and he said: “in Brazil, we are very passionate people”!
#107
Cursed_cookies
Susie Elle 3 years ago
Idk the association of the creme in the oreo with a vagina does NOT turn me on at all but it would warrant a call to the doctor.
#108
Cursed_proteinshake
Fluffy Griffin 3 years ago
Monty Python skit: Every Sperm is Sacred https://youtu.be/fUspLVStPbk
#109
Cursed_steps
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago (edited)
That's.... Certainly something. One of those choking-while-swallowing-the-laughter-because-you-shouldn't-laugh-but-still-have-to moments.
#110
Cursed_bidet
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
That is not the direction I thought it would go and now I want to burn my retinas.
Thomas Turnbull 3 years ago
Don’t I did it and it hurts could not see the point of it afterwards (nor anything really)
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Carol Emory 3 years ago
To answer the original question though regarding TP...beards are good...mullets are bad.
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
Anyone who doesn't pick B needs to be locked away where they can't hurt anybody.
#112
Cursed_dragon
Bacony Cakes 3 years ago
This is why you wear protection and live in a universe where crossbreeding cannot happen.
#113
Cursed_crow
Aidan Pite 3 years ago
It wasn't a live round, there was a bullet in the barrel that had come out of its jacket in the previous scene. When they swapped out the empty jacket for blanks they didn't check the barrel, and the force of the blank going off shot it out. They didn't have the armorer on set that day and learned why YOU ALWAYS HAVE AN ARMORER ON SETS WITH GUNS.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago
You also have to use those people right, though. As rcent history explains 😔
Load More Replies... #114
Cursed_eevee
chaotic_charlie (they/he) 3 years ago
time to escape this war and yeet myself and a space lion into some wormholes
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix 3 years ago
How to get either a ghost or flying type eevee evolution: throw it off a cliff. It either flies or it doesnt.
#115
Cursed_shit
Andrew Good 3 years ago
Just hope that the person above you doesn’t have the same idea at the same time
#116
Cursed_friggin Furries
Lakota Wolf 3 years ago
Not all furries like to s**t themselves while wearing diapers. Just sayin’. It’s REALLY hard to get all the feces out of fur…
Lindsey Judd-Bruder 3 years ago
There's a van from the Eyewitness News, and helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky...
Load More Replies... #117
Cursed_fricker
LuckyL 3 years ago
Ohh, now - usernames. Why post a picture when you censor the joke?
Load More Replies... #118
Cursed_bruhmoment
#119
Cursed_family Dinner
Der Mellow 3 years ago
"Tastes great, stepmother, so juicy. But once again, I have one hair between my teeth..."
#120
Cursed_friend
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
It says f**k disney to those of you who don’t want to go trhough the effort
Flavie Sniofre 3 years ago
I don’t think I saw any comments about this, but… If she/he sent a photo, how could the blind friend read Braille, if he can’t touch the raised dots ?
#121
Cursed_dad
Mikey Kliss 3 years ago
O I heard about this one. Ended up being the construction workers hoodie right?
#123
Cursed_loot
#124
Cursed_water
Lindsey Judd-Bruder 3 years ago
Give it to your worst enemy on a hot day, with a sweet smile on your face...
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Robyn Bowns 3 years ago
Reminds me of the chips with the fat substitute that caused a**l leakage. Omg a product never disappeared so fast 😝
#125
Cursed_bo_staff
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix 3 years ago
Oh damn. Same ig? My fireplace is in the wall so
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Chloe *Leah* Pheonix 3 years ago
I wish you luck. *grabs fireplace and contemplates existence*
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#126
Cursed_fixing
#127
Cursed_paralleluniverse
#128
Cursed I Dunno What To Put Here
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
That is soo thin! Terrible famine it was and the british did nothing
Queen Jackson. 3 years ago
Wait I thought these were their skeletons after they died reconstructed or something. I’m a bit slow.
BasedWang12 3 years ago
i feel like an asshat because I saw this picture some months ago and that was my initial reaction
#129
Cursed_disney
Ronald Bradford 3 years ago
Yeah, that was def. a CURSED comment/response.
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Spikey boi 3 years ago
I fact checked this. The only sources I found are this reddit post, and a few pictures of this post on other websotes I found no news reports on this. Now obviously that dosen't mean the story is instantly fake, it just means there are no news reports I found, and the media dosen't report on every single death. But yea I have no idea why this one was selected.
Persephone 3 years ago
That's a lot of trauma to live with. That would break me. That's why I yeeted my poor toddler into mulch and landscaping when I fell. I'm not heavy, but wooden stairs and concrete with an adult body on top, are not forgiving. She wasn't happy, but only I ended up with injuries.
Load More Replies... Monday 3 years ago
That's not a disney thing, that's a doctor thing. You don't get pronounced dead until a licensed doctor gets to you.
Persephone 3 years ago (edited)
Nah you're correct. They try to resuscitate until at a hospital typically. Not sure why you were downvoted, but this is standard medical protocol; Dr's don't just spontaneously appear with an entire hospital at their disposal, and I'm sure they were trying to revive the infant... they always try if an injury is recent... they don't just body bag instantly.
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Sorontur3 3 years ago
I created an account just to up vote your comment. :D
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Beth S 3 years ago
After reading these posts I don't know whether to facepalm or cry into my hands... lol
Auntriarch 3 years ago
And this is why I am here - for the comments. This one was a particularly rich seam of comedic gold. Thank you fellow Pandas
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
Came for the post, stayed for everyone's comments. This is why I love BP, everyone here is awesome! I needed an ambulance at least 3 times though.
Sorontur3 3 years ago
I created an account just to up vote your comment. :D
Load More Replies... Beth S 3 years ago
After reading these posts I don't know whether to facepalm or cry into my hands... lol
Auntriarch 3 years ago
And this is why I am here - for the comments. This one was a particularly rich seam of comedic gold. Thank you fellow Pandas
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
Came for the post, stayed for everyone's comments. This is why I love BP, everyone here is awesome! I needed an ambulance at least 3 times though.
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