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Woman Explains That She Has To Misgender Trans Coworker “Because Of Her Religion”
It’s no secret that people from the LGBTQ+ community face various attitudes from people, ranging from very positive to discrimination and even hate crimes. Sadly, these attitudes can impact their personal relationships, often enough, for the worse.
Like in this story, a person easily got along with their coworker until they noticed that she kept misgendering them. They decided not to be silent and called her out on it. She had an explanation for her actions; the only question is how reasonable her justification was.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
While theoretically, religion and LGBTQ+ identities can co-exist in one space with no issue, some people themselves make it nearly impossible
Image credits: Jomkwan / Freepik (not the actual photo)
A person came out at work, and everyone accepted their gender identity and used their preferred pronouns and chosen name
Image credits: seventyfour / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Except one coworker, the youngest one, who, from time to time, misgendered them like it was nothing
Image credits: seventyfour / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the person confronted her and asked why she kept doing that, she had a justification ready to go
Image credits: Low_Baker7074
Apparently, due to her being Muslim, she feels uncomfortable fully accepting the person’s gender identity, and that’s why she keeps misgendering them
Around a year ago, the OP came out to their coworkers. While coming out itself can be stressful, doing so at work can add another stress level. Discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity is prohibited, so technically, your job can’t fire you over that. Yet, some coworkers might not accept you, which can make the whole team dynamic sour and way more complicated than before the coming out.
Luckily, with most of the original poster’s coworkers, this wasn’t the case. They were all on board with the person’s preferred gender, pronouns, and chosen name, despite being at least 10 years older than them. You know the stereotype of older people being less understanding of LGBTQ+ issues? Well, it was proven false here.
In fact, the youngest colleague turned out to be the sore spot here. The OP started noticing that anytime they would talk to her, she would misgender them. She’d use their chosen name, but it’s rather gender-neutral; that’s it.
When confronted about it, the woman explained that her actions are solely based on her religion – she can’t use the right pronouns, because it would make her feel bad due to her beliefs.
You see, she is a Muslim woman. She wears a hijab, takes her lunch break at the time of praying, and does everything. Religion is a big part of who she is.
The thing is that most major scholars of Islam consider homosexuality to be forbidden. It’s mentioned in the Quran that all of the companions of the Prophet Muhammad agree that homosexuals should be punished or even executed.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Granted, the number of Islamic scholars, usually based in the West, who re-examine their teachings, deciding whether condemnation of LGBTQ+ folks is a misinterpretation of sacred texts, is rising.
This slowly leads to more queer people being accepted within the religion. Yet, sadly, it’s still slow and not all Muslim people are open-minded to it, as today’s story proves. Of course, the issue in it was regarding a transsexual/transgender person, not a homosexual one, but the view for the whole LGBTQ+ umbrella usually stands rather close in cases like this.
While there’s nothing wrong with being Muslim, there is nothing wrong with being LGBTQ+ either. This suggests that both of the communities should learn to co-exist, but it’s easier said than done. Like in the story we analyzed today, the woman feels bad for misgendering her coworker, but she can’t help it, as her religious teachings are so ingrained in her.
At the same time, people online think she’s just using her religion to justify her bigotry, nothing else. As someone put it, her beliefs should apply to her, not to the coworker, and applying them to them can be considered a kind of mistreatment. That’s why some folks online think that the OP should start documenting all of it and at some point go to HR – after all, it somewhat affects their well-being at work, and thus needs to be addressed.
Of course, at the end of the day, the choice on how to deal with this situation is up to the person themselves. But maybe you have some additional ideas? You can always share them in the comments!
In netizens’ eyes, this woman was simply covering her bigotry with her religion, and doing that pretty unsuccessfully, as they were able to see right through it
What do you think ?
Lyone Fein 4 months ago
Comparative Religion PhD here. I can definitely say there is nothing whatsoever in the Quran about people who change their gender. Nor is there anything in the Hadith. People who say otherwise are extrapolating from cases regarding s*x between men. (And honestly I am not aware of anything in regard to cases about s*x between women.)
WindySwede 4 months ago
@Lyone. I read somewhere that only men are mentioned in general, in the bible, because of women are owned by men? Like if you assaulted a women, youeither reimbursed her dad or husband? And since they were somewhat like same as livestock, men didn't really care if that happened between women? 🤷♂️ I dunno, just read that somewhere. Any truth in that?
Load More Replies...
arthbach 4 months ago
It's actually very simple. Pronouns are used as replacements for a person's name. Only use the person's name, and misgendering never enters the conversation. "Alex was working on that last week. Let me check with Alex, and get a progress update."
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 months ago
It's also amazingly easy to learn, remember, and use someone's preferred pronouns. It doesn't cause damage or harm to one's self to use someone else's preferred pronouns.
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The Doom Song 4 months ago
I have a friend who is trans and when he came to me to tell me what was going on all I did was look him in the eye and asked "So what am I calling you from now on?" It's that simple
Lyone Fein 4 months ago
Comparative Religion PhD here. I can definitely say there is nothing whatsoever in the Quran about people who change their gender. Nor is there anything in the Hadith. People who say otherwise are extrapolating from cases regarding s*x between men. (And honestly I am not aware of anything in regard to cases about s*x between women.)
WindySwede 4 months ago
@Lyone. I read somewhere that only men are mentioned in general, in the bible, because of women are owned by men? Like if you assaulted a women, youeither reimbursed her dad or husband? And since they were somewhat like same as livestock, men didn't really care if that happened between women? 🤷♂️ I dunno, just read that somewhere. Any truth in that?
Load More Replies... arthbach 4 months ago
It's actually very simple. Pronouns are used as replacements for a person's name. Only use the person's name, and misgendering never enters the conversation. "Alex was working on that last week. Let me check with Alex, and get a progress update."
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 months ago
It's also amazingly easy to learn, remember, and use someone's preferred pronouns. It doesn't cause damage or harm to one's self to use someone else's preferred pronouns.
Load More Replies... The Doom Song 4 months ago
I have a friend who is trans and when he came to me to tell me what was going on all I did was look him in the eye and asked "So what am I calling you from now on?" It's that simple
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